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I'm Not Lookin' For Somebody With Some Superhuman Gifts by nefarioushan
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
09 Jun 2026
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Summary
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SHANE
➥ We can resign the paperwork in your name.
➥ I mean, you could pick a new car, but there's hardly any place for another one, unless you get rid of yours. I have some contacts with car dealers in the area. I doubt it you want a Jeep, though?ILYA
➥ hmmmmm
➥ if i say i want a porsche will you buy me porscheSHANE
➥ A sports one? No. They drive too fast.
➥ But a regular one, sure. What colour?ILYA
➥ well my main concern was that they cost as much as a fucking house baby, but
➥ orange?SHANE
➥ I can look around.ILYA
➥ wait no
➥ no
➥ shane
➥ dont
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or: a year into dating, ilya and his daughter move in with shane, and a long week of fuck-ups and bad luck follows.Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,263
- Chapters:
- 5/6
- Comments:
- 843
- Kudos:
- 2,753
- Bookmarks:
- 455
- Hits:
- 45,885
Bookmarked by Marmalada
10 Jun 2026
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Summary
He himself would agrue that it’s his self-discipline, but the best parts of Shane will always be the hard parts, the rough bits, the hockey player parts. It will always be the warm, slightly damp skin in the crook of his elbow, the bicep that Ilya’s cheek cuts into. It will always be his grip strength and the fidelity of his wrist. It will always be his red face when he yells at the ref. No one sees that, or they don’t believe it when they do, and it baffles Ilya to this day. He wants the world to notice, and he wants to feel it upon himself. But Ilya’s already succeeded in getting Shane to fight him on the ice, so he guesses what he really wants is to be spanked.
Or: Ilya Rozanov learns to ask nicely.
Series
- Part 2 of euro-step
Bookmarked by Marmalada
10 Jun 2026
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Summary
At some point their relationship got fucked up enough that Ilya helps wax Shane’s pubes when they’re in town together, instead of doing normal couple things like watching Iron Chef or having brunch. Ilya thinks it started happening around, after the time he had to beg Shane not to bleach his asshole but before they both started peeing while taking showers together. “I just want a clean slate,” he tells Ilya very seriously, but they come to a compromise that he should keep something short and trimmed above his dick. Ilya, on the other hand, is under strict instruction to never touch any of his pubic hair, lest Shane have nothing to hold on to when he’s working the head with the back of his throat, so it’s kind of a shock when he says, “We should wax your ass too.”
Or: Ilya Rozanov gets fisted.
Series
- Part 1 of euro-step
Bookmarked by Marmalada
10 Jun 2026
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Summary
Based off a Tumblr post by my-2nd-account
Years into their relationship, Shane ends up wine-warm in Ilya’s lap, kissing every inch of his face he can reach and out of nowhere he brings up Vegas 2014. The penthouse. The elevator. The text Shane almost sent. Seeing his husband quiet, vulnerable, and still aching over it, Ilya stops joking for once and promises that it'll never happen again. They don't have sex, just kiss, Ilya kissing the living fuck out of Shane, making up for lost kisses.
Bookmarked by Marmalada
09 Jun 2026
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Summary
The Ballad of Shane Hollander's Tits
Bookmarked by Marmalada
09 Jun 2026
