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Falling In Love Wasn't On The Menu by penthatspeaks
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Feb 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger embarks on a new chapter of her life by opening her own café, determined to create a peaceful space away from the hustle of her past adventures. However, her journey quickly takes an unexpected turn when she hires Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, and Theodore Nott... former classmates and unlikely candidates as her employees.
Falling in love wasn't part of Hermione's plan, but sometimes the most unexpected feelings stir in the heart, and she finds herself grappling with emotions she never anticipated. As she navigates the complexities of running a café, balancing her budding relationship with the trio, and learning to trust her old rivals turned colleagues, she discovers that love often comes when you least expect it and sometimes, it’s the most delicious part of the menu.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 120,684
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 602
- Kudos:
- 1,370
- Bookmarks:
- 777
- Hits:
- 78,323
Bookmarked by LeeandSatch
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
Hermione decides to run for the hills, ending her traumatic relationship with Ron Weasley after he becomes abusive and controlling. Running away to Hogwarts for her Eight year, to finish her education. Only Ron isn't letting go that easy, he follows. In need of help and a place to hide, The Snakes take her in. She finds protection, understanding, comfort, and a family with them. Draco declares Hermione Granger as his when Ron comes demanding her back. Can they build something together while she's fighting for her life? The Snakes refuse to give up easy, they're willing to go to war again over the Golden Girl, but just how Golden is she really?
Series
- Part 1 of A Game of Darkness
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,625
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Comments:
- 360
- Kudos:
- 953
- Bookmarks:
- 619
- Hits:
- 58,741
Bookmarked by LeeandSatch
20 Jun 2026
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Summary
They watched in anticipation as the potion covered the parchment to the edges but not spilling over or soaking in. Everyone held their breaths. Suddenly, the liquid sunk into the parchment and in blood red ink wrote her name and birthday towards the bottom.
Hermione Jean Granger - 19th September 1979
A line spread up from her name and split into two.
Marlene Eleanor McKinnon - 1st August 1960
Everyone let out a collective breath. Then the ink started again, for a moment everyone had forgotten that they didn’t know the second parent. Hermione closed her eyes.
Or Hermione finds herself too curious one day and her world flips upside down. She has two new parents, two new siblings and two new godparents, one of which comes with baggage, not that Hermione's complaining. Follow the story of Hermione as she figures out her new normal with three new house guests living with her new family.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 172,988
- Chapters:
- 41/41
- Comments:
- 1,200
- Kudos:
- 1,333
- Bookmarks:
- 789
- Hits:
- 81,262
Bookmarked by LeeandSatch
16 Jun 2026
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Summary
Hermione leaves England to start a new life, only to return to find that the world has moved on in more ways than one, and her heart is touched by an unexpected encounter with her #1 fan!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 123,391
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Comments:
- 400
- Kudos:
- 1,243
- Bookmarks:
- 423
- Hits:
- 51,762
Bookmarked by LeeandSatch
14 May 2026
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Mostly Sweat and Regret by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
16 Jun 2025
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Summary
Hermione and Harry go to Greece to get over their respective Weasley breakups. It rains the whole time. They get drunk, have the best sex of their lives, agree never to talk about it, and go back to being friends.
Six weeks later, Hermione throws up in a Ministry hallway and realizes her mocha creamer expired over a month ago.
This is not how she planned to tell him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,540
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 172
- Kudos:
- 2,406
- Bookmarks:
- 479
- Hits:
- 19,792
Bookmarked by LeeandSatch
17 Apr 2026
