LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandoms
- Hermitcraft SMP (11)
- Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series) (10)
- RWBY (10)
- Vampires SMP (8)
- The Magnus Archives (Podcast) (5)
Recent works
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The Traveler and the Fae by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Sparrow1M
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
05 Apr 2026
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Summary
Once there was a man who passed into faery lands. The man had been in a hurry, though if you were to ask the man he would not be able to tell you why. The result is the same, regardless. A trespasser is never looked upon with fondness, humans even less so, and the faery demanded the man provide recompense.
The man, unfamiliar with fae laws, gave his name and was cursed to spend his days as a traveler, only able to settle in one place for 100 days or less.
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A Traveler is drawn back to the Winter Court after being cursed where he must fulfill four tasks and, perhaps, even slay a king.
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now listen to that heart rate by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for drygrasses
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
03 Apr 2026
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Summary
Legundo is peacefully studying in the library when Scott Goldsmith decides to drop-by. How wonderful.
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[podfic] your justly earned reprise by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for TheEnderWolf
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
When Legundo Travels to a new world, he's quickly declared a god and assigned two assistants: Drift and Viking. Now Legundo must:
- Solve the issue of Krampus,
- Figure out what Drift and Viking want from him,
- Deal with the local wildlife.
Simple enough, right? …Right.
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Legundo is called a god, The Traveler, and he's to be treated with all the respect and reverence as deserving of his station.
Legundo might just be sick to his stomach.
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[web weave/collage] sing of the moon by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for starshapedballoon
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Mumbo and Pearl go stargazing <3
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[podfic] butterflies by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Vanyel
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Tango breathes in, then out, then hides his face in the crook of Zedaph's neck. Violet eyes lazily blink open in response. “Sumthin’ wrong?” he asks, and Tango feels it when he speaks, his free hand splayed out against the other's chest. Tango frowns as he collects his thoughts.
”I think I have a crush,” he whispers.
It was such a simple sentence, and yet, Tango felt like he had just confessed his darkest secret.
Or; Tango is nervous about telling his partners about his feelings for his soulmate. They take it better than expected.
Recent series
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RWBY Fanfics by emo_space_gay, LeanMeanSaltineMachine, rivercollabs (theriveroflight), Stormage_dark_lord, sureashyr, UnsteadyShade
Fandom RWBY
09 Nov 2025
- Words:
- 2,233
- Works:
- 1
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coaxing the words from the earth and the dirt by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Stardew Valley (Video Game)
14 Feb 2026
Summary
Cody knows there's something weird going on in Pelican Town, and he's determined to figure out what.
- Words:
- 1,229
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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on the open roads by DuskDragon39, LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
02 Sep 2023
- Words:
- 20,155
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 6,046
- Works:
- 3
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- Words:
- 4,345
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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Blood From The Blood God by Antilocapra
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)
19 Jun 2026
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Summary
There were times after Rocky moved into the Hail Mary when Grace would be hunched over an experiment, struggling to make things work; struggling to find the solution that Tau Ceti held, then struggling to grow nitrogen-resistant Taumoeba faster. Sometimes he would sit staring at the farm-tanks, slouched in his chair with his hands dangling over his knees, and whisper to himself. “Please,” he would say. “Please, please, please.”
“Who is Grace talking to?” Rocky had asked in the stilted way he’d been stuck with at the time.
“No one,” Grace had shrugged. “Or anyone. Anyone who’ll listen.”
Rocky does not understand humans. But now, he sits on the shore of an infant sea, a brand-new constructed world all around him just waiting for its single lonely occupant to take control of it, and wonders if human senselessness is worth a shot.
“Please,” he whispers, running his claw through the water. “Please, please, please.”
The sea does not respond.
Or, what if your friend accidentally catches the attention of a god in hopes of saving you, and that god falls in love with you instead?
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wasting time by decimalsbuiltdifferent
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
26 Apr 2026
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Summary
Rocky is a good dancer, which I already knew. He has good coordination, which is kind of necessary when you have five arms, and he has amazing memory. There's only so much he can do with my clumsy footwork, though.
"You are messing up rhythm," he scolds, though his voice has no bite.
"Am not," I snap, even though I totally am.
"You say rhythm strong weak weak. But you take step strong weak strong strong weak. Irregular. You only have two legs and you still cannot coordinate, question?"
I didn't think first contact would involve this much bullying. "You're so mean to me."
Series
- Part 6 of project hail mary fics :)))))
- Part 2 of culture lessons
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
20 Jun 2026
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Summary
Ryland Grace — single-income, teacher’s salary — owns beachfront property.
He never, ever thought he’d see the day. His rent-controlled apartment in the Bay Area was older than him, split with two roommates, and still ate most of his monthly earnings. Thoughts of homeownership were infrequent, segregated to extended school breaks — enough days off his bike to send him exercise-endorphin-crashing down an internet rabbit hole.
how to buy home no landlord hcol reddit
The top answer, every time?
Get married. Double-income; split the mortgage. Sell your soul for a down payment.
Erid’s ammonia atmosphere is less suffocating.
Rocky makes music; Ryland finds a home. Other Eridians learn and teach in tandem. And they change, change, change.
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
19 Jun 2026
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The Poor Thing in the Road by saavikams for primeideal
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026)
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
"What is this?" Adrian asked because what else could be done?
"My friend— Grace" they replied as if it were obvious.
When Adrian didn't respond they spoke again, "He helped me save the stars."
"It's dying," Adrian told them— softly, gently.
"No," they stomped a foot, even the thought angering them. "He will be okay, he is hungry— makes him weak. That's all."
or Rocky and Grace arrive on Erid
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,534
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 535
- Bookmarks:
- 69
- Hits:
- 2,159
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
19 Jun 2026
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No Way Home but Forward by Ink (InkboundLore), InkboundLore
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
08 Jun 2026
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Summary
Grace is supposed to save Earth, but the Hail Mary has crashed on Erid. The Eridians are not dying. They do not need him. But one of them, Rocky, chooses him anyway.
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
18 Jun 2026