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much better than you, much better than me by Calmaise
Fandoms: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
14 Oct 2025
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Summary
“Enough with the fuckin’ homophobe jokes, Kerry,” Johnny demands. He can’t even place why it fucking bothers him so damned much, but it does, like sand in his fucking teeth. “Will you shut the fuck up if I kiss a guy?”
“Yeah, alright,” Kerry says, eyeing him appraisingly. “You make out with a guy — with tongue — for like, at least a minute, while I watch to make sure you’re not pussying out? I’ll drop it. Get you an honorary queer card.”
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
09 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Crying screaming etc
This fic confirms I’m morosexual because they’re both so fucking stupid (affectionate) and I love it
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Summary
It's 2077 and V is dreaming. It's 2004 and Johnny Silverhand is performing.
Or: Johnny Silverhand performs a hometown show and V has a front row seat.
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
31 Aug 2025
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Summary
The day Frank Columbo met Eugenio Franchitti was a day blessed by God: God and all the real angels and saints, specifically Adjutor, Philip Neri, and Barbara. The war was going full swing; on the beach there were the leftovers, the women and boys and girls, and the oldest Franchitti kids who hadn’t shipped overseas, Geno and Cecilia, first cousins. Frank hadn’t noticed ’em at first, either of ’em, the tall and lanky boy and girl with skin like gold and eyelashes like fringed velvet burlesque fans, physical traits the magazines said you could shell out for but the Franchitti kids had ’em in spades all natural; but once he had he couldn’t stop noticin'.
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The story of how Columbo and Mrs. Columbo came to be.
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An Illustrative Update by bigasswritingmagnet (thekumquat)
Fandoms: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
15 Sep 2024
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Summary
One of the author's portraits on Varrics books depicts him surrounded by many beautiful women. It could perhaps use a little updating, now that he's a married man.
[Has an accompanying art piece!]
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
06 Nov 2024
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Summary
In wine, there is truth; sometimes you are more likely to blurt out your feelings when you are under the influence.
But sometimes, to wine, there is truth, and your friend will blurt out his feelings when he thinks you're too stinking, fall-down drunk to hear them.
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
06 Nov 2024
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in every sense of the word by TheIcyQueen
Fandoms: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
14 Aug 2024
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Summary
There’s something about the way Varric and her sister work together that Bethany just can’t wrap her head around. On paper, it all makes sense – they’re both dangerously persuasive rogues, quick to pick your pocket yet somehow quicker still to talk the coin out of your hand; they’re crafty, they’re cunning, they’re charismatic, and, in a pond like Kirkwall, their partnership doesn’t just make them big fish but sharks. Together, there’s no scheme they can’t pull off, no heist they can’t manage, no lock they can’t slip their way past…
But there’s something else going on between them, too. Something Bethany, well, can’t quite put her finger on. Maybe she’s just imagining it. Maybe this is how ALL business partners act! After all, what else COULD it be?
(Or: Five times Bethany thinks it’s all about the con, and the one time she realizes it isn’t.)
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
24 Aug 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO!!! I love this!! Incredible outsider perspective from my dear Bethany, Hawke and Varric being two sides of the same coin, the small, hidden gestures of affection and love!! If this fic was a human shaped hole in the side of Amigara Mountain, I’d be squeezing myself in screaming “it was made for me!!!” [affectionate]
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questions unasked by tospreadthewingsofthesoul
Fandoms: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age - All Media Types
22 Jun 2024
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Summary
Hawke has a very important question.
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
23 Jun 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“Varric was smiling too - a proper smile, tiny and real, not his storytelling smile at all.”
Oh how I adore my OTP talking about love via contracts ;-;
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Uchiha Chiaki wakes up in the middle of a veritable graveyard with a scar across her throat and an uchiwa on her back. She doesn't know who she used to be or where she used to live, but does it really matter? She's no longer there– she's here, and she has work to do.
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
28 Mar 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
My cool friend wrote this so it’s illegal for me not to share it when it’s also so cool
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Summary
Sam doesn't so much break the rules as not understand they exist.
Series
- Part 1 of Godawful Small Affair
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
26 Jun 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
One of the all time favourites, bookmarking it so I don’t lose it again. *clenches fist* It’s the repression and the joy that gets me.
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Summary
The girls spend Purge night eating cheesecake, swapping stories - and worrying about Blanche, who's terribly late.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,657
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 48
- Kudos:
- 169
- Bookmarks:
- 14
- Hits:
- 1,016
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
18 May 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
This reads so much like an episode that it blows my mind a little. Rose putting peanut butter on her shoes to get the dogs to follow her was so funny to me that I knew I was in for a good time. That this is so believable is amazing.
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Summary
He could stop; he could get up and leave and he didn’t think Harry would prevent him. Harry would stay, though. He’d stay a crumpled mess until someone dragged him out and kicked him on the curb. Then that someone might rummage through Harry’s wallet, steal his belongings. The bar owner might call the one number Harry kept in his pocket, on a business card; the precinct’s. The captain would interrogate them both, wondering how Harry had gotten out of Jean’s sight, considering they had gone out together that night. And wasn’t it strange, the bar Harry had been at? Was he there with you? Why, Vicquemare? As if the answer even really mattered.
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
03 Jan 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
“You’re afraid of him,” Adria said.
She wasn’t the first to say so.
“Who isn’t?” he said and shrugged.
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Painful catharsis. Can-opened by identifying with Jean, once again. An unflinching look at the cycle of abuse, and the normalisation of abuse in work culture.
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Summary
Hawke tags along to Halamshiral. Varric's glad to have her - she'll certainly liven up the conversation, anyway. She never used to like a fancy party, but maybe that's changed in the four years since Kirkwall.
Maybe that's not the only thing that's changed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,030
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 18
- Kudos:
- 190
- Bookmarks:
- 28
- Hits:
- 1,023
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
23 Dec 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
GOD older Hawke and Varric looking back on their lives and how they’ve changed is EVERYTHING 😭😭
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The Case of the Man Who Two-Thirds Wasn't There by glisteningceruleaneyes
Fandoms: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
29 May 2022
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Summary
Three-and-one-third bodies have been found in an abandoned vehicle on the riverbank.
It would be a challenging case even without the bad weather, weapons smuggling, white nationalists, industrial accidents, and the concept of pedigree dog breeds—but over it all hangs one troubling question: What is it that fascinates you about Kim Kitsuragi? Is it working class camaraderie? A sinister hex of mysterious origin? Did you imprint on him in Martinaise, like an amnesiac duckling? If you don’t figure out what’s going on soon, people are going to start to notice. Especially him.
And sooner or later? Everything is related to the case.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,717
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,647
- Kudos:
- 4,862
- Bookmarks:
- 1,618
- Hits:
- 99,287
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
17 Jun 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
YOU: “When we first interviewed you, the Rougon-Macquart coefficient was turning you into a light show. You were refracting light like nobody’s business. You were nearly too rich to be seen, but I can see you just fine now.” You take another step forwards. “And I know it’s not that my pay just came in…because my rent just went out.”
Not only does this nail Disco Elysium’s tone while having its own spin and voice, it’s as much a love letter to the working class as it is a fanfic. There are moments in here that are so excellently done that it’s scary-impressive and I want to be the writers BFF because holy shit.
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Summary
"Hey." Ed reaches across because it's the only thing that feels right. He grasps Stede's wrist and smoothes the pad of his thumb across his knuckles. Stede stops fiddling with his ring and looks up at him, wide-eyed. "This isn't Captain shit. This is God shit. Are you God?"
The room is blank with silence.
Gently, Ed repeats, "Are you God, Stede?"
Stede's voice is thin and high when he answers, "I'm not God."
"And is God here, in this room?"
Comically, Stede looks around like he might find God perched on the edge of his desk, or pulling books from his shelves to examine the spines.
"He's not," Stede concedes.
"That's right, mate. Stupid bugger doesn't associate himself with pirates."
Or: The Revenge has been becalmed for six days. Ed has bigger things to worry about, like sharks and being in love.
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roses that come without seeking by givemebaretrees
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
20 Nov 2021
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Summary
When Nandor wakes in the evening coughing up blood and rose petals, he is forced to call out sick from his Vampiric Council duties, and the household is set aflutter with confusion--vampires don't get sick. Nandor needs to find out what's wrong. But how can Nandor investigate when his faithful bodyguard is so determined to make him rest?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,020
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 60
- Kudos:
- 1,174
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 6,577
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
21 Nov 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
You know this themme loves a Hanahaki fic and this was perfect 😍
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Something Smart to Do by kianspo
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek
01 May 2018
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Summary
In which Jim finds himself fake-married to his first officer every other month. It's not his fault. Mostly. Dowries and Klingons are involved. Starfleet is decidedly not amused.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,322
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 739
- Kudos:
- 22,038
- Bookmarks:
- 5,886
- Hits:
- 177,482
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
15 Oct 2021
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Summary
Once in a while, Nandor enjoys going for takeout.
Guillermo likes to make himself helpful to his master.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,963
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 817
- Bookmarks:
- 96
- Hits:
- 3,487
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
29 Sep 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
“Guillermo was reminded just what Nandor could do, when he wasn’t moping or being sad or gushing to Guillermo about Sheldon Cooper.”
I really enjoy this depiction of Guillermo and that line made me laugh out loud. -
Greatly Approved by damalur
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
24 Jan 2015
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Summary
An apostate's guide to popular fiction.
(Or: Hawke runs headlong into Cassandra's book club, Varric comes along for the ride.)
Series
- Part 1 of Greatly Approved
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,586
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 392
- Kudos:
- 3,099
- Bookmarks:
- 1,021
- Hits:
- 45,458
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
05 Aug 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
This is my favourite fanfic of all time. The ending pays off so wonderfully.
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the two of us together again by buckgaybarnes, Ksci_janitor
Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)
23 Jul 2021
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Summary
Newt is, like, pretty sure he and Hermann are having relationship problems. What better way to fix them than with another road trip?
[sequel to say it will always be like this (the two of us together)]
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,463
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 152
- Bookmarks:
- 16
- Hits:
- 1,432
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
28 Jul 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
God, he loves Hermann. He loves Hermann so much, and it hurts to think that this might be one of the last times he ever gets to see Hermann all vulnerable and unbuttoned like this.
Dear future self, here is the exact moment you nearly started crying like a lunatic, and yes I’m sure we both have excuses to justify that particular emotional display because we always do, but I know you’ll want to remember what inspired it. Also re-read it its so good and you’ll feel better.
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Summary
If you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
Sometimes, it's hard to move on. Phoenix understands better than most.
Bookmarked by CompletelyOrdinaryCat
25 Jul 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
“Klavier smiles, then, but even without looking at the reaction on Wright’s face, he can tell that it is harsh, a bad parody of actual emotion. “You would know as well as the rest that it wasn’t—it isn’t only my life to ruin.”
“It never is,” Phoenix agrees softly, “but that’s what life is, sometimes.””
I’m hungover to shit, single tear running down my face like wow I’m dead and this killed me.