This made me so happy to read, weirdly, even tho I know it’s not the lightest subject! I consider myself more indifferent, at least in theory… it just has to be something I know is on the table from the beginning? Because for Knives’ repulsion I was really channeling a friendship I had in college where I was pretty inseparable from this other girl and then while we were watching tv in the dorm she kissed me, which felt to ME like it was out of nowhere. I was years away from knowing asexuality was a thing yet, or identifying as it. I remember just this whole-body rejection, like I’m gonna spiderman-crawl away up the walls to make this physical sensation stop. And also a sudden and profound grief for the relationship I thought I had! Yes, it’s that sudden understanding that you can’t control the perception of your body - that the image of yourself doesn’t belong to you. (Plus there was the shame that I thought I was just panicking because it was gay, and I didn’t think I was so shockingly deeply homophobic? Which in hindsight I’m not, but how are you supposed to know that when you’re 18 and stupid, lol.) It’s such a confused, horrible feeling, and I get how someone can think they’re broken from it.
Anyway that’s not sympathy fishing, it’s just so good to know that I got the feeling across well and it’s always good to not feel alone in an experience. 😊💙 And also HAH yes, I love writing knives being a dickhead in a circumstance different from canon so that he can express all his dickheadedness in ways other than genocide and emotional abuse. He’s so fun to write 😂 he’s a freakin “well, actually” bro
you're really good at conveying these experiences in a way that both shows how impactful they are while also making them just another facet of life. like knives's asexuality is important to him and shapes his relationships with vash and elendira (and legato lol), but it's not the sum total of them. Same with Vash's disability-it's a big part of his experience, but not the sum total of him. IDK, your writing is just really good, I'm glad I read it. TBH I saw the tag "canon disabled character" and immediately clicked on the fic. (Sorry, this is a lot! Have a nice day!)
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ShastaFirecracker Tue 28 Feb 2023 07:11PM UTC
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WateredMyCrops Fri 03 Mar 2023 03:44PM UTC
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