*SCREECHES* DUDE THIS IS FANTASTIC MY GOODNESS mkay mkay so you're writing I love like always and forever. You have a way of really understanding the characters and how they'd act/react to situations obviously not within canon and this piece is no exception to that. I love how well you nailed Cindy and Cid's personalities. And how you handled Prompto is fuckin fantastic. I like that you didn't make him completely a walking toddler but as someone who's in a foreign world trying to rescue their sister (which also love the Aranea and Prompto dynamic. You had Aranea disappear at the beginning and yet you were still able to characterize her really well through Prompto's memories). Just gonna pop in some of my favorite sections of your fic:
"He tries MT. The results are confusing- there seems to be a lot of information, but arranged in paragraph form, warnings and sightings and the words coming closer and breach of treaty and a lot more information, most of it nonsensical or at least inaccurate. None of it shows Aranea.
He tries human behaving MT. None of the results indicate anything useful.
He tries other things; physical descriptions, mostly. He doesn't know Aranea's designation. She shut him down whenever he asked about it. He finds that the internet has an option to search for images rather than words, but they're slow to upload into his head, lines of code converting to color displayed across the back of his eyelids."
Just gonna say right now I love love love how you described Prompto accessing the Phones online services. You give so much depth and visuals to actions that aren't easily conveyable through writing.
"He pokes something on his plate, spearing it on the metal prongs, and puts it in his mouth. N H-01987 0006-0204 watches. Understands. The instructions are very clear.
He pokes his food with the fork. Stabs one of the greens- they're a little slippery, but he gets one after a few tries. He puts the food in his mouth. Bites down.
His teeth scrape the metal prongs. It hurts.
“Oh, no,” Cindy says. “Darlin', you don't bite. Just- slip it off. Pull the food off.”"
I mean this is what I mean when I said earlier how you write Prompto more as a person who's trying to figure out shit in a foreign land. He recognizes some things from his time at the MT place but he doesn't know what the items are and just how he interacts with them is *does that lil thing where ya kiss ur fingers to your mouth and make a kissing noise while dramatically flaring apart said fingers away from the mouth* perfect! (also side note I did somethin similar with chopsticks when I first used them so like i feel ya Prompto)
since I couldn't embed the picture into this comment here, my response to your reply: https://www.dropbox.com/s/0pkgmt1rw8p81bx/I%20SPENT%20TIME%20ON%20THIS%20U%20BETTER%20APPRECUATE%20IT.png?dl=0
Comment on and the nettles were quiet
7upAddict (Cotton_Tonic) on Chapter 1 Wed 30 May 2018 01:44AM UTC
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CreamofTomatoSoup on Chapter 1 Wed 30 May 2018 02:47AM UTC
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7upAddict (Cotton_Tonic) on Chapter 1 Wed 30 May 2018 05:15AM UTC
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CreamofTomatoSoup on Chapter 1 Wed 30 May 2018 05:34AM UTC
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