Smh -- Faylen's fics
Fics that I find funny / make me laugh / make me cringe but not in a bad way.
Just makes me shake my head :shrug:With this tags that go hand in hand most of the time are; Snort, Snickers, Lil Cringy
(Open, Moderated)
Recent bookmarks
-
Vignettes from the (Almost) Relationship of Two (Entirely) Oblivious Men by StrangeMatter (Pam)
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Doctor Strange (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
22 Jan 2026
Tags
Summary
Wong saw something and wishes he didn’t. Pepper just wants some peace for once. Bruce is baffled, while Clint thinks it’s hilarious. Rhodey is endlessly patient. Thor, meanwhile, is ready to throw them a wedding.
Tony and Stephen? They kiss about it. You know, experimentally.
Because, as we all know, "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."Bookmarked by FaylenLupus
21 May 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/78120171
Vignettes from the (Almost) Relationship of Two (Entirely) Oblivious Men by StrangeMatter (Pam)-
"He sprayed himself from the Chalice of the Emperor and it dissolved his t-shirt," Strange deigned to half-answer."And he remained shirtless because…?"
"Because he is learning his lesson, right, Stark?" Strange shouted, causing Wong to suppress a wince.
"Fuck you too, Strange!" came back a cheery yell from the kitchen. Just what Wong needed to round out the evening.
--
Tony and Doctor Strange were… not exactly standing there, at the table. No, they were almost entwined with each other.Clint stood to the side, leaning on the wall with his eyes glued on them, munching steadily on a fistful of something—cookies maybe.
Bruce simply had to ask.
"What are they doing? Is he… climbing the Doctor?"
Clint, eyes still on the action, made a shushing motion. He swallowed his bite hastily, then murmured from the corner of his mouth, "Strange is holding the fries out of Stark’s reach. He wanted to steal a second one from him, but Strange isn’t having it."
At that moment, the… fight? Yes, that’s what it was. The fight escalated. Tony cried out.
"Ow, you scratched me! Your bling is dangerous!"
Strange immediately stopped the keep away.
"Drat, I’m sorry. Are you bleeding? Let me see."
"Ha!" With a triumphant shout, Tony grabbed the now attainable fries and danced away crowing about his victory.
Strange tried to reclaim his long-lost dignity and sniffed.
"You are such a child! I didn’t want them anyway."
--
..He finished his drink, reclined on the sofa and poked Tony in the side. Tony looked up with a mock frown."So, when were you going to tell me that you and Strange are dating?"
"What?” Tony was apparently still half lost in his designs. He blinked at Rhodes in confusion. “Sorry, who’s doing what now?" he added.
"You. Strange. Dating," Rhodes repeated patiently.
Tony’s eyebrows shot up, and his eyes widened in incredulity.
"What?"
--
Thor was grinning from ear to ear. At last, he had cornered the mighty Wizard Doctor alone. The training room was not the most festive of places, but it mattered not. He needed to share his happiness. His shield-brother had found a worthy mate!"Your courting has been most splendid, Wizard of the Infinite Beer! I have both witnessed and heard about your rituals, drawing awe throughout all the stages tradition dictates!” Thor had been present for the courting dance and had heard various accounts about shared meals and proud displays of prowess. “Your handfasting shall be a feast to be remembered for generations!"
The Wizard slowly put down the towel he was holding, his piercing gaze flicking over Thor as if searching for answers to a riddle.
"My what?" he asked solemnly, his stately manner, as always, contrasting his slight form.
Thor decided to elucidate.
"Drink shall flow like the Hvergelmir! Songs shall be sung about the heroic deeds and valor of your Stark husband and of yourself! Our praise of your virility shall resound in the farthest edges of the Nine Realms!"
The Wizard’s gaze locked onto Thor’s. He looked like a man barely containing his amazement. His voice trembled with passion as he answered.
"My what?!"
--
The small meeting room was silent. If there were a clock on the wall, the ticking kind, it would have provided perfect sound effects for the grave atmosphere. Two men stood at opposite ends of the room, studiously avoiding each other’s gazes."It has come to my attention that… we’re giving the wrong impression," Tony began, breaking the silence. "Or are we?"
--
"That depends," Stephen replied, his tone careful. "What impression would you be comfortable with?"Tony rolled his eyes. He took a few steps to close the distance between them.
"I’m one hundred percent immune to being uncomfortable with whatever impression I’m creating. The question is, what’s behind the impression?"
"I’m not against there being something meaningful behind the impression." Stephen said, his voice entirely steady and confident. It gave a nice emphasis to the pink creeping up his neck.
Tony was reluctantly charmed.
"Good. I’m going to kiss you now. Experimentally. Any objections?" Tony too projected maybe more confidence than he was feeling.
--
Tony’s lips tingled. A pleasant shiver ran through him, followed by a slow heat spreading from his core."Trial one: success," he declared. "Let’s move this somewhere more comfortable. We need to draw up a whole new research plan."
And so they did.
- -
A Strange Lid for a Special Pot by StrangeMatter (Pam)
Fandoms: Doctor Strange (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
09 Jul 2025
Tags
Summary
Tony thought he’d seen it all—until Stephen Strange started leaving him bizarre presents. Is it a prank? A magical flex? Or something much stranger (and more romantic) than Tony expected?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,735
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 9
- Kudos:
- 89
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 685
Bookmarked by FaylenLupus
21 May 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/67251718
A Strange Lid for a Special Pot by StrangeMatter (Pam)Facepalming. Okay so yes Stephen definitely should have made it more then obvious. At the same time Tony appears to have the talent of jumping to the wrong conclusions
At least he reached the right one eventually lol -
Tags
Summary
There is no name for this coffee shop. In a fit of caffeine-induced anxiety and rage, Tony has decided, “Fuck this, it’s just going to be called ‘The Coffee Shop.’ What the fuck else do you need to know?”
Tony decides that SI can survive without him, but a late-night coffee shop needs to be opened. Tony also does not shut up about being a small business owner.
Bookmarked by FaylenLupus
08 May 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/48704161
The Coffee Shop by lovelyirony-
“You’re supposed to take over a company.”“And?” Tony says. “I was also supposed to keep my parents but they died in a car accident.”
“Okay, bad move to use your dead parents against me, you know that.”
“I think, actually, that I just made a great move,” Tony answers. “Because now you can’t feel bad about my choice.”
“Well, I can feel bad about your decision, you’re majoring in business,” Rhodey says. “You’ve taken all of those classes when you were four.”
“Yeah, which means I can get the major done in a semester if the dean signs off on it and my parents can’t say no because they’re…you know.”
“Tony.”
“Come on, I’m not going to die.”
--
Pepper visits the shop before it opens.“Tony, what the hell.” There are no matching mugs. Or plates. Nothing is matching. The machine looks like a goddamn Dr. Frankenstein project. “What have you been doing?”
“Being a small, independent business owner?” Tony answers, bending over the sink. “Whoever put these pipes in was a total loser, by the way. How was work today?”
“Fucking awful,” Pepper says. “But also great. My PA is quitting in two weeks to go get married.”
“Ugh, just hire Rhodey.”
“You think he’d quit being in the military?”
“I mean we’ve been lectured that you never stop being army or whatever the hell he phrased it as,” Tony says. “But maybe if you bribed some government official, you might get an honorable discharge for him.”
“Done.”
And she does. That’s the odd thing. Pepper actually does get it done--well, she convinces Rhodey to be her PA.
“I am sick of top secret missions and the brass being on my ass all the time,” Rhodey says. “Now I get to pick up coffee and lunch and work for the real equivalent of Miranda Priestly.”
“Miranda Priestly was a bitch,” Tony says.
“And?” Rhodey says. “You don’t become a top CEO and well-known name in an industry without being a bitch. Just look at your dad. Massive bitch. At least Pepper respects and is nice to me.”
--
“Tony.”“Janet Van Dyne-Pym.”
“Okay, I did not last-name you,” she says, perching her sunglasses on top of her head. “I thought you said once the shop was steady you’d ask him out!”
“I definitely did say that,” Tony says, wringing his hands. “But I also told myself I’d ask him out after we roomed together freshman year. And after he dated Carol. And then when he became Pepper’s PA. I have said I’d ask him out on dates a lot, Janet.
And almost none of it has ended up happening. Also, I have no clue if he likes people romantically other than women!” Tony says. “I think he still has a thing for Carol. Who wouldn’t have a thing for Carol? Maybe I should set them up. I’ll ask Carol, she’ll definitely say yes. It’s Rhodey. They didn’t even end things that badly, she just signed up for NASA, so maybe--oh shit, maybe not--”
“Tony,” Jan says, putting a hand over his. “Calm down. Also, Carol’s bi. Which Rhodey could also be, if you asked him. And she’s married. I think her wife has a kid.”
“Wait, we didn’t go?”
“Well, like you said, she signed up for NASA when they broke up.”
“Shit. I could’ve given them a great wedding gift.”
--
So he asks her over a video chat as he’s closing the shop. Pepper looks at him flatly. “Tony. I run the company named after you. Of course I know.”“Okay, well the company wasn’t named after me, my dad didn’t even like me enough to remember my birthday.”
“God, I’m so glad he’s dead. Have you been going to therapy for that?”
“It is tough being a small business owner," he deflects. "Trying to get decaf beans has been worse than whatever trauma I have."
“You can’t keep using that as an excuse, Tones,” Pepper says, exasperated. She looks at him fondly through the camera lens.
“Watch me,” he says, sticking his tongue out. She doesn’t catch it as she yawns, turning her head.
--
“You’re the best,” Tony says with a grin. “Come on, Bruce’ll have your drink ready in a bit. Did you know he has a PhD in physics and in some kind of math? Oh, he also studied gamma radiation for a bit for the government and it didn’t go well. Technically, I think he has a warrant out for his arrest, but I’m a small business owner so I take what employees I can get.”“Wait, Dr. Banner?” Rhodey asks, eyes bugging out of his skull. “The Dr. Banner who has seven PhD’s?! And General Ross hates?”
“I don’t know who the hell Ross is, but yeah. I think he has seven. I told him to go for eight, but he says I don’t pay him enough for that. As if I can afford more, I am a small business owner.”
- -
Eye of Newt and a Ten Dollar Mop by lovelyirony
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies)
01 Oct 2020
Tags
Summary
In which Tony finds out he's magic, finds out that mops are not proper substitutes for broomsticks, and Rhodey is remarkably nonplussed by magic.
(Also: Rhodey told everyone that Tony moved to Italy for a highly extensive D&D campaign. Asshole.)
Bookmarked by FaylenLupus
08 May 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760157
Eye of Newt and a Ten Dollar Mop by lovelyirony—
-Tony can’t fucking fly on a fucking mop.
-One broken arm later and a phone call to his mother later, Maria Carbonell is sitting on her son’s dormitory mattress and wondering just why the hell he lied to her about how he broke his arm.
Here was her son’s lie:
“Um. I broke my arm because dinner sucked.”
A.) There was no follow up.
B.) Her son is as bad at lying as she is.
Unfortunately, she did not announce her arrival, and so she gets Tony’s roommate opening the door and screaming that the liquor is in the second cabinet from the left.
Maria raises one eyebrow.
“Did Tony at least pick out good wine?”
“Uh...you’re Tony’s mom?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t think you were coming to visit until move-out.”
“I...we had an interesting conversation. You wouldn’t happen to know why Tony actually broke his arm, would you?”
“Um...no.”
(Rhodey is also a bad liar.)
-
Tony gets home about ten minutes later and promptly says:
“Oh fuck.”
“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mom asks, already sipping delicately on her glass of water.
“Um...move-out isn’t for another month.”
“I know. But you lied to your dear mother.”
“How did you know?”
“You can never hide anything from your mom, and your excuse needed work, honey,” Maria answers. “So. How did you break your arm?”
Tony sighs.
“Promise me you won’t laugh. And don’t tell Jarvis.”
“What did you....what?”
-
The mop.
Maria doesn’t laugh at first, at least until she sees the pictures that Rhodey took and chuckles.
“You promised me you wouldn’t laugh!”
“What were you doing? And why?” she asks, laughing. Tony rubs the back of his neck nervously.
“Um, well...funny story...”
-
Maria should have known that her son would have her...abilities. But she had hoped that if he had never known the family, had never known what she could do, that maybe...maybe they wouldn’t come.
“So what you’re telling me,” Tony says, nostrils flaring, “is that there’s magic?”
“Yes,” Maria says. “And what we deal with specifically is good magic.”
“Oh, so I could’ve put Glinda the Good Witch on my family tree project,” Tony says sarcastically.
Maria scowls.
“Don’t sass me, Tony. I did it for your own good.”
“I set a car on fire!”
“Well, what kind of car was it?!”
“A Mustang!”
“Then that makes sense!” Maria says. “Your father drove one, and we all know how that turned out!”
Tony blinks for a moment.
And then laughs.
Maria starts laughing too, until they’re both giggling in the apartment, and Tony tells her about the grocery store incident.
——
“I was already wreaking havoc when I was eight,” Tony whines. “But, this also raises the question of when are we doing a family reunion?”She stops, looking at him.
“They weren’t exactly pleased when I married a millionaire.”
“Not even when he became a billionaire and you got half his fortune?” Tony teases.
“Not even then,” she answers. “I have a...complicated relationship with magic.”
“As in, you don’t use it.”
“Correct,” she answers. “You don’t need magic in your life, and quite often, it gets you in more trouble than you anticipate.”
“Are you going to give me a ‘magic has consequences’ speech?”
Maria laughs.
“No. Magic, as far as I know, doesn’t really have consequences. The actions you do have consequences. You could blast up an entire country and as long as you don’t get caught, no consequences other than what you do to yourself.”
“Like having guilt?”
“Like having guilt. But enough about that, it’ll make you feel weird for a week if you keep thinking about it. I want you to light candles from two feet away.”
“Of course I can do that,” Tony scoffs.
“Sure you can.”
-
Tony also sets the curtains on fire!
-
Maria realizes that her son is perhaps just a tad (okay, a lot) more powerful than she was (and is).
So, she regrettably calls her mother.
——
Tony groans.“Sure, Nonna. I will come.”
“BRING FRIENDS. HAVE GIFTS FROM POPE FOR YOU.”
“You...when did you have time to get gifts...the pope?”
“HAVE FRIENDS. COME!”
— -
This Might as Well Happen by lovelyirony
Fandoms: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
22 Feb 2020
Tags
Summary
Tony finds out that Hydra has been back, SHIELD isn't pristine, and Rhodey and Pepper are willing to help him try to take down it all. With two friends, what could go wrong? Well...you'd be surprised.
Series
- Part 1 of Take It Down
Bookmarked by FaylenLupus
08 May 2026
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22850476
This Might as Well Happen by lovelyirony