Dispatch fics with fun friends and HR violations
The goodness of a man who just want to make his own life a bit easier, instead got these fuckasses to deal with.
(Open, Unmoderated)
Random works
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Summary
Robert learns that his best friend Herman is a virgin
He remembers his own first time being, well, less than spectacular
He wants Herman's to be something special
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Flambae shares a look with Prism, she raises an eyebrow at him. “You sound like shit, Robert.” She says.
A sigh. “Thanks, Prism.” He doesn’t offer up anything more which causes more eyebrows to raise. “Have a good shift, everyone.”
Sonar mutes his comm to look at the others. “That’s weird, right? I’ve never heard him this depressed since like, the time Chase was in the hospital.”
Series
- Part 1 of One step forward, five steps back
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When Robert was around 10 years old, his Uncle Elliot gave him a... Gift. An AI lodged into his brain. Powers, technically.
After the coma, he can't really hear his "brain twin", and decides he should probably fix that. Besides, "Oracle" would definitely fit right in with the Z-Team.
Series
- Part 1 of Dispatch
- Part 1 of The Oracle Files 💾
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It's My Right to Be Hellish, I Still Get Jealous by Colorfullyminded, InkAndSmudge
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
23 Jan 2026
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But Robert knew no matter how much he wanted it, kindness wasn’t something he, or his stupid, broken down body, deserved.
He pulled away again, averting his eyes self-consciously whenever he remembered why he was really there tonight. The last thing he wanted was for Waterboy to see him like that. To see what the hero that he idolised was really like behind all the smoke and mirrors.
Herman’s smile fell at the same time as his lighter-coloured eyebrows rose, “D-don’t you want to dance-join in?” He glanced around the place where Robert was still leaning against the counter, “You’re all by your-alone.”
Not for long, if I’m lucky, Robert thought bitterly. The ache that had been building in his gut all day felt like a ravenous, gnawing hole now. It twisted something inside of him, made him feel sick and rotten and wrong. And a thousand miles away from the sweet-faced, wetsuit-wearing hero currently giving up his Saturday night to help keep a bunch of villains safe at a crappy metal night.
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After catching Waterboy doing some... unexpected activities after work, Robert realizes the newbie might be the most perfect sub in the whole world. Too bad Robert is his boss.
Series
Random bookmarks
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my body's made of crushed little stars by DaQuirklessBeauty
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
24 Dec 2025
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Robert has always treated his body like something temporary—maintained just enough to keep going. Then one run-in with a passing villain leaves him younger, unscarred, standing in a body that no longer carries the visible proof of the pain he survived. As the Z-Team watches him move through the world in a way he hasn’t in years, concern sharpens into something heavier. Others begin to notice what Robert himself has long learned to dismiss, and the truth becomes harder to avoid: whatever hit him didn’t just revert him—it revealed how much pain he’d been living with, and how quietly he let it happen. Because if this is who Robert used to be, then the version they’ve known has been surviving far more than he ever admitted.
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Or: Robert gets caught in the crossfire of a fleeing villain’s power—and wakes up in the body he had at twenty-one.
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Unspooling by LiterallyThePresident
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
22 Dec 2025
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When facing a strange villain that feeds off fear, that pulls the trauma from people’s throats like a horsehair worm from a wriggling mantis, Robert thinks it’s going to be routine, that Flambae will deal with him and get some free therapy as a bonus, that he’s safe behind his desk where the villain called Archivist won’t even think about him.
He’s wrong.
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Statement of Robert Robertson the Third, regarding his emotionally abusive father, his lack of autonomy, and the absence of personhood.
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Soulmates find each other when marks are left behind.
Flambae's fingers got cut off, and his side of the bond flared to life. Sent to prison with a one sided bond and knowing his soulmate is the man who put him there, he's still not sure if he wants to live. But one thing he does know is this bitch in his head is just depressing.
Also known as: Flambae's journey to being somewhat ok, and falling in love with the man in the suit.
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“It’s not a real kid, Chase.”
Chase is technically underage, he’s a year away from being able to drink but the bartender didn’t bother to check his ID. Chase has always looked a little older than he was, it works in his favor now.
Nobody at a hero bar like this would assume he was so young.
“How the fuck do you think that?” Chase asks, spits. His hands still shake with the memory of it. The beer in his hand shakes with the tremors of his hands. “How the fuck do you do it?”
Mechaman sighs, deep, disappointed. He leans back, taking his whiskey with him.
The rest of the Brave Brigade was downstairs, drinking in victory, dancing with the other heroes, celebrating.
“It’s the Astral Pulse.”
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Summary
Every power has a price. Something that would make you laugh at the irony if it wasn't so damn infuriating. A man with the strength of ten at the height of half of one. A woman with asthma who needs to hold her breath to stay invisible. A walking fireball who can lose his eyebrows to a rogue flame.
So of course when Robert realized he wasn't powerless, he could only laugh at the irony.
An immortal man who wishes he was dead really was the icing on the cake.
Updates weekly (mostly), 2/16 post delayed