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"Scott, it's a shack," Lex said. Horrified. Luthors did not need to live in squalor, even in the Canadian wilderness.
"It's my dad's idea of being funny. Come on inside." Scott opened the door. Lex looked back at the giant, luxurious igloo shaped like Dr Evil's head, sighed and stepped inside.
And blinked in surprise. "Well, all right then." Scott grinned and shucked his coat.
Inside it was warm, almost hot. The walls were covered in silver lame and Scott's music posters. A spiral staircase led down into the ground, where Scott's guitar, amps and king-sized bed flanked a fireplace lined with--glass brick? On black granite tile?
He was in Eighties hell. But it was draft-free and the bed looked comfortable, so though he doubted he'd have good room service, it would do. Although why they were here when his father had a perfectly serviceable and well-guarded mansion in Metropolis... "I really do not understand evil scientists," Lex said. He shrugged out of his parka and dropped it on the floor.
"Me neither, man. But you don't have to understand. Just go with it." Scott made the devil fingers, banging his head for a few beats before swinging onto the stair railing and sliding down backwards.
"My father is cackling now," Lex called. "He got a cat. A Siamese. Named Hecubus. Do you realize what this means?"
Scott landed on the bed, spread-eagled. "Evil! Does he have a nemesis yet?"
"Mm. Sort of. That farmer." Lex tugged off his gloves and tossed them into the corner. He walked down the stairs slowly. "Not very inspiring. But. His son."
"Ripe?"
"You have no idea." Lex slipped his suit jacket off and dropped it over the railing onto Scott. "Should I bother asking what your father has in store?"
"Nah. He's doing the big reveal tomorrow. I think he's turning the oceans to ice or something." Scott sniffed Lex's jacket.
Lex snorted.
"Austin Powers will stop him from doing it. He always does. It's the dumbest thing ever." Scott skinned out of his shirt. "Like? Watch. He'll catch Powers and then, like, not shoot him, just do some really complicated thing that gives him a million different ways to escape, and then of course he will escape and foil Dad's plot."
"Sounds pointless." Lex unbuttoned his shirt.
"It is! It is!" Scott reached up his hands; Lex tossed the shirt into them. "Which is why I'm saying."
"Yeah?" Lex stopped on the bottom step.
"Since, like, we know how this is going to go." Scott sat up, brushing Lex's clothes off the bed and wiggling his silver-flame-bedecked New Rock boots. "We could just stay down here."
"In your shack."
"Yeah." Scott grinned.
"All week."
"Yeah."
"While our fathers fail to take over the world."
"There's room service." Scott raised his eyebrows in invitation.
Lex leaped onto Scott. "That sounds like a fantastic idea." He tugged open Scott's trousers, finding that Scott's penis was now accessorized with a ring through the head. The bead in the center was an 8-ball. "This is new."
"Yeah."
"Looks like a fun toy..." Lex bent down and flicked the bead with his tongue. Scott twitched.
Very fun toy. Dicks were the best toys. "I could spend a week doing this," Lex said.
"Rock on." Scott fell back on the bed. He whooped when Lex sucked his dick into his mouth.
end.
all comments are welcome.