Chapter Text
Robbie lay on his side of the bed staring at the ceiling. He replayed the conversation from earlier in the evening over and over in his head. James wasn't home from his band practice yet. Robbie hoped to delay any further conversation until later. The problem was he couldn't decide what he felt.
Earlier in the evening:
"Did you know the marriage bill passed and has Royal Assent. Surprisingly carried out with little fanfare in the media. Allows a whole new life for people. Would..." James stopped and took a breath.
Robbie looked up from the dishes at James leaning against the bench. He was trying to look relaxed but Robbie knew him too well. James was staring at him intently, his body slightly stiff.
"Aye, I saw the news. That was a couple of weeks ago. Good job though." He took a deep breath, not sure what to read in James' face.
James tried again "Have you ...."
"Would you pass the tea towel please Pet", Robbie cut in, suddenly feeling nervous.
James passed the towel and started again "do you think ...", he paused and Robbie quickly interjected "Hadn't you better get a move on? You don't want to be late for practice."
James let go of his breath sharply and frowned but nodded and grabbed his keys from the bench. He kissed Robbie then collected his guitar on his way down the hall. Robbie heard a "back about 11" as the front door closed.
Robbie finished the dishes staring out the window, not seeing anything. He swore as he realised he had just dried an unwashed plate. He threw the now dirty tea towel onto the bench and grabbed a clean one from the cupboard.
'God, did James want...? Was he interested in...? Could Robbie even do that again...?' Robbie couldn't settle his mind. He wasn't even sure what James wanted but needed to talk to someone.
Finishing the dishes he picked up his phone, then swore as again he found himself staring into space, standing like a statue in the middle of the lounge.
Looking at his contacts list his thumb hovered over two names. 'Lyn or Laura?' He asked himself, which would be the best. 'Should he even bother?' Lyn would say about time and Laura would suggest he and James should actually talk, like it was something they didn't do anyway.
Robbie put the phone down. What was his problem anyway? He loved the lad. And James professed to be happy. Hell, he looked happier and more content since they'd been together, than in the whole time Robbie had known him. 'Time would tell', Robbie thought, 'he's only just ended a successful career in the police. Would things change once he was mixing with the University crowds?'
Always at the back of his mind was the age difference. 'I am too old for him'. Robbie knew James would be annoyed at his continued insecurities. 'Other couples have survived with large age gaps', James' words echo in his head. 'But should James really be tying himself through marriage to a middle aged man about to retire?'
And that was another issue that had to be raised. Neither James nor Lyn will like what he's decided, now that James has left the force and is soon to start his Masters degree.
Robbie massaged his temples, he was giving himself a headache. He'd been sitting on the couch for ages, staring at a cold case file (but not reading it) that Innocent had given him, 'until we find you a Sergeant'. It was only half nine but bugger it, he decided it was time for bed.
I have somebody new
someone to treat me right,
to talk to lovingly
and to hold me all night.
He's there for me when I need him
to give me love and support
to hold me close and wipe away
all my signs of hurt.
To kiss me softly every night
and let me know he's there
to call me just because,
just to tell me that he cares.
Now here I go again
fallen so hard, so deep
but this time it's different,
this is one I want to keep!
Last four verses of 'Lies'
Source: Letting Go Of Love Poem, Lies http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/letting-go-of-love-lies#ixzz2aiAysVUy