Chapter Text
Graduation…
It was meant to be the greatest day of Lincoln Loud’s life.
“Lincoln Albert Loud.” The high school principal announces his name, as he’d done all the others so far.
The crowd applauds, a simple courtesy for each and every student that received their diploma.
“WOO! Lincoln!” Lynn Jr. cheers for her brother, not caring at all how loud she was in the crowd.
…How fitting.
Besides, it’s not like she was the only one.
“Heck yeah, dude!” Luna was next, smiling proudly.
“Go Linc!” Lana called out.
“Linkyyyyy!” Leni holds a hand over her heart, smiling tearfully.
A sniffle is heard close by, prompting Rita Loud to softly smile, handing her husband a tissue and patting his back.
“Aw honey, it’ll be okay…” She reassured him.
“Lincoln… my boy… He- He’s growing up too fast! All of our kids are.” Lynn Sr. wipes his tears away with the tissue.
Lincoln takes his diploma in hand, looking towards his family in the crowd and waving towards them with a smile.
Lori takes several pictures with her phone, sniffling just as much as Lynn Sr., but at least able to maintain her composure.
“You okay, babe?” Lori’s boyfriend Bobby wraps an arm around her.
“I’m okay, Boo Boo Bear.” Lori reassures him, leaning against him. “Graduation is… always pretty emotional.”
That’s true. It certainly was. But… what Lori had left unsaid was… just how different this graduation was.
This was the graduation of her little brother. The only one the Loud siblings had.
It seemed almost… surreal that this day had finally come.
“….”
Lincoln remains silent, his smile vanishing as he returns to his assigned seat next to his other graduating classmates.
…As mentioned earlier, this day was supposed to be a good day for Lincoln Loud.
So… why, then, did he feel so… empty inside?
“-McBride!” The Principal’s voice comes back to Lincoln’s attention, as he now calls out his best friend’s name.
“Oh, Harold! L-Look at him! At our boy! He’s- It’s actually happening!” Howard, one of Clyde’s dads, begins to cry and lean against his husband.
Harold merely pats his shoulder, handing Howard some tissues like Rita had done with Lynn Sr.
Lincoln can’t help but smile, proud of his best friend. Not that he had any doubts… Clyde’s grades were always excellent. Quite a bit better than his own, although Lincoln’s grades weren’t too shabby either.
However, Lincoln’s pride, along with his smile, felt just as bittersweet.
Things were changing… Things would be different now.
What did the future even hold for Clincoln McLoud? Especially since he would be moving so far away for college?
It reminded him so much of when Ronnie Anne moved all those years ago… When Lori had moved out for college not long after…
Lincoln… hated change.
It… made him feel… uncertain.
It made him feel empty…
Yes, uncertain emptiness. That described him perfectly right now.
What… was he gonna do now?
He may have gotten his diploma, but he had no plan for what to do next. He had no current ambitions of going to college, no job that piqued his interest, not a girlfriend to his name, and… on top of it all, he was going to lose his best friend to distance.
“We finally did it, buddy!” Clyde returns to his seat, showing off his diploma to Lincoln, a beaming grin on his face.
Lincoln forces his own smile, showing Clyde his diploma as well.
“Heh, yeah… I… I guess we did.” Lincoln replies, trying to keep himself together.
Before long, the graduating students threw their caps into the air, and the ceremony came to an end…
Now came the time for pictures and farewells.
“Congrats, Lincoln! Guess you really schooled the competition, huh? Looks like you’ll be moving on to grad-er things now!” Luan greets Lincoln with her usual punny humor. “Hahahaha! Get it?”
Everyone in the family groans as usual, but that was, of course, expected.
“No, but seriously…” Luan grins, hugging her brother. “Really proud of you, Linc.”
“Thanks, Luan…” Lincoln smiles softly, hugging her back.
“Ugh, so lucky Lincoln! I wish I was out of school…” Lola huffs.
“Congrats, dearest brother.” Lucy congratulates him in her usual deadpan tone. “Now you will be able to trade one set of societal confines for another.”
“Gee, real comforting…” Lincoln meekly grins.
She had a point, though.
“Good job, Stinkin’!” Lynn Jr. smirks his way. “Now you get to join the rest of us in the wonders of adulthood.”
It was clear she was being sarcastic.
“Yeah, can’t wait…” Lincoln sighs.
“Congrats, Lincoln!” Luna’s girlfriend Sam gives him a friendly hug. “I’m proud of you! And Luna is too.”
“Ha, ya got me there.” Luna smiles with a slight blush. “I had no doubt in my little bro.”
“I’m proud of ya, son!” Lynn Sr. hugs him next. “We all are!”
“That’s right, sweetie.” Rita joins in their hug. “It’s hard to believe this day has finally come…”
“Literally.” Lori sniffles nearby. “Ugh… why does time have to fly so fast?”
“Congrats, bro!” Bobby fistbumps Lincoln.
“Thanks, Bobby.” The white haired graduate smiles. “And… again, thank you everyone.”
He didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth. Of how he really felt.
Of how bitter and afraid he was of what came next…
So he went through the motions. He went through several more well-wishes and more pictures than he could count.
Even his Pop-Pop showed up, which was… a welcome surprise.
It should have been the perfect day.
…So then… why? Why couldn’t he just be happy?
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Lincoln lies in his bed, his bedroom door closed and pure darkness overtaking the room, save for the dusk outside his window and what light crept in through the crack under his door.
He wasn’t tired, at least… not physically. Mentally on the other hand? Well… that was a different story.
Everyone was now back home, save for the sisters who had already moved out, of course.
…
He simply couldn’t escape his inner thoughts. He needed to be alone with them… so that he could process just what had happened today.
‘…So that’s it, huh? School, my classmates, homework, any potential girlfriends I could have had… It’s just… over?’
“…”
Lincoln wasn’t dumb. Of course he knew this was coming. He just… thought it might feel a bit different. More exciting.
This… nigh depressive mood he was in. It… was uncharacteristic. It didn’t suit him at all.
This was more up Lucy’s alley than anyone else.
“…”
‘Ugh, why am I like this??’
He hops out of bed, turning on the lights.
‘Come ON, Lincoln! Get your head in the game!’
Lincoln slaps his own cheeks, channeling his inner Lynn to snap himself out of this stupor.
‘It’s not all bad! I mean- I mean, I still have my sisters! And…’
“…”
‘And…’
His shoulders slump.
‘…For how much longer, though?’
Lori had already moved out of the house half a decade ago for college… She even had a job now and had long since moved in with her boyfriend Bobby.
Leni still resided at the Loud House, but she was constantly busy with her job at the mall. She works full time now.
Luna had also moved out of the house and now lived in a small apartment with her girlfriend Sam.
Luan also still lived in the Loud House, but between her own education and work, was barely here.
Lynn? You guessed it.
Totally unemployed.
“…”
‘Where was I going with this again?’ Lincoln collected his thoughts. ‘….Oh yeah.’
He sighs.
Save for a few key exceptions, life was changing… Changing for the whole family.
And as we discussed earlier… Lincoln Loud hated change.
He missed the old days… The days when everyone was together.
The days when, when one of his sisters had a problem, he was there to help them resolve it.
The days when he had a problem, and his sisters would band together to help him too.
The days when he could go to Gus’ Games and Grub with Ronnie Anne or hang out at Clyde’s house to do everything and nothing at all.
…
Those days didn’t exist anymore.
Lincoln still had his parents. He had Luan and Lynn and his younger sisters here at the house.
But in a year? Two years? Who could say…?
Eventually, they would all go their separate ways.
They would still be family, but would be so busy that they’d probably only see one another on the holidays or something horrible like that.
Lincoln just…
He just…
…
“Gah!” Lincoln huffed to himself, stomping over to his desk and collapsing in the wooden chair he’d always had.
‘Thinking any more about this is just gonna drive me crazy… I need to do something to get my mind off of this.’ Lincoln rubs his temples.
Reaching over, Lincoln presses play on the CD player that Luna had let him borrow a few years ago.
Just before she moved out.
“…”
Mick Swagger began to play out of the speakers.
How oddly fitting…
It wasn’t Lincoln’s favorite, but… strangely it was what he most wanted to listen to right now.
The white-haired boy frowns, before focusing back on his desk, grabbing what he really wanted to work on.
It was his tablet. The one he always used when he wanted to draw.
It started as just one of many hobbies when he was a kid, but… through his teenage years all the way up to now, it became a passion of his. A way to express himself.
A way to escape reality for awhile and lose himself in his colors and lines.
He didn’t post any of his work anywhere. It was mostly for himself.
‘For practice’, he claimed.
Practice for what? He didn’t know. Probably nothing.
It was just an excuse he gave himself to pretend like it was going somewhere.
In reality, it was mostly just therapeutic.
Something he could have to himself. Something that he knew would never change.
In his own world, in his own art, life could be whatever he wanted it to be…
“…”
Lincoln starts sketching.
He doesn’t think about a subject. He just loses himself in the music and lets his creativity run wild.
Minutes pass him by.
How many? He didn’t know.
All he cared about was distracting himself.
All he wanted was to create something meaningful.
Something that would fill the void he currently felt.
Knock knock knock!
“Yo, Linc!” A familiar voice called from beyond the door.
Lincoln’s eyes widened, snapping himself out of whatever trance he was in and pausing the CD Player.
“H-Huh? Yeah? Lynn?”
“That’s the name. Don’t wear it out.” Lynn teased. “Hey, so dinner’s ready. Wanna head down?”
“…Yeah. Yeah, sure. I’ll be down in a minute.” Lincoln replies.
“Cool.” Lincoln could hear a smile in her voice, even from beyond the door. “Better make it quick! Tonight is Dad’s homemade pizza! I won’t be held responsible if it’s gone before you get down here.”
“Very funny, Lynn…” He meekly grins, listening to her retreating footsteps head down the hall and down the stairs.
Lincoln looks down at his tablet, curious what he was able to come up with.
“…”
It was a portrait of a girl. A girl that… closely resembled that of his sister Luna.
…Ah, who was he kidding? It was Luna, wasn’t it?
Luna appeared to be singing and playing the guitar on her bed, looking very happy and sure of herself.
Perhaps listening to Mick Swagger had more of an effect on him than he thought?
Lincoln sighed, looking at the drawing with half-lidded eyes.
Part of him could almost imagine himself there, on the bed next to Luna as she played for him; maybe even taught him a few chords. The way she used to…
“…”
Lincoln shut off his tablet, putting it back on the table as he stood up out of his chair.
On his way out the door, Lincoln takes a look at himself in the mirror he had on his wall.
A familiar, happy little boy stares back at him. Much smaller and much more certain of himself.
Then reality seeps back in…
The little boy disappears, and his larger, older reflection makes itself apparent.
This reflection held none of the same confidence, certainty or happiness that the little boy had.
It looked… lost. Uncertain. More cynical.
Lincoln stares in the mirror for a few more seconds, before, with a heavy sigh and a heavier heart, he exits his room, heading downstairs for dinner.
At the very least, he could look forward to that.
…
The room went silent, now devoid of any and all life.
“…”
Except for one, who peered downwards from the nearby vents.
“Sigh…” Lucy laments, a deep frown emerging on her face. “Oh, Lincoln… What ails you so?”
She ponders to herself.
“You used to be so transparent, but now… you retreat into your own mind. Just like me.”
…
“I now understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end… It is… somehow even more painful this way.”
Lucy falls silent once more, before she exits the vents.
‘I promise, Lincoln. I will find out what’s wrong… and I will help you. The way you’ve always helped me.’
“Ah, there he is! The man of the hour!” Lynn Sr. calls out as Lincoln enters the kitchen. “Come over here, Lincoln! You get first dibs on the pizza tonight.”
“Huh?” Lincoln’s eyes widen. “Wait, seriously??”
“Duh.” Lynn Jr. softly smiles back. “What, you thought I was being serious earlier? No way. Tonight’s your night.”
“Hmph…” Lola crosses her arms. “I still say it’s not fair, but… I suppose his accomplishments are to be commended.”
“I agree.” Lana grinned. “Besides, I’m getting second dibs, anyway-“
“Oh no you’re not!” Lola’s eyes narrowed.
“Girls! Settle down.” Lynn Sr. sighed. “Luan and I made enough for everyone.”
“Ah…” Lincoln grins knowingly, making his plate. “Luan too, huh?”
“Dough! You got me!” Luan emerges from the kitchen, wearing oven mitts and placing another hot pan of pizza on the table. “Just crust me, Linc! It’ll be the best you’ve ever had!”
Everyone once again groans, save for Lynn Sr. who laughed.
“Haha! Good one, honey!”
“It does smell pretty good, Luan. You’ve been getting practice in wherever you can, huh?” Lincoln questioned.
“Yep!” Luan sits down at the table. “If I’m gonna help manage Dad’s restaurant, I’m gonna need to know all the ends and outs… including his recipes.”
“Well you’ve been doing a wonderful job, Luan! You’ve been a gouda student.” Lynn Sr. throws in his own pun.
Everyone groans even harder while Luan laughs.
“Rgh! Enough cheesy puns-“ Lola growls.
“Nice!” Luan calls out.
“-AND HURRY UP SO WE CAN GET SOME PIZZA!”
“Okay, okay! Sheesh…” Lincoln quickly gets a couple more slices of pizza, before sitting back.
From there, it was basically a free-for-all, Lola and Lana in particular scrambling for the best slices.
Meanwhile, Lisa nonchalantly reaches out, calmly grabbing what she wanted.
“Ah, there you are, Luce!” Lynn Jr. smiles as her younger sister and roommate walks in. “I was looking for you earlier.”
“Apologies. Must have just missed you.” Lucy takes a seat on the other side of Lincoln, opposite Lynn.
Lincoln looks towards Lucy as he swallows a bite of pizza, smiling her way.
Lucy smiles back, though it felt… resigned.
“…”
Lincoln stops eating, taking immediate notice of this.
“…Everything okay, Luce?” He asks her with concern, keeping his voice low.
“That’s what I’m still trying to figure out…” Was her response.
‘Huh?’ Lincoln blinks. ‘What… What does that mean-‘
“O-M-Gosh!” Lincoln is suddenly pulled into a crushing hug.
“Gah-“ His eyes widened.
“Linky! I still can’t believe it!” Leni smiles brightly, holding her brother close. “I, like, can’t believe you’re done with high school now! Ugh, I could cry all over again!”
She says, as she cries.
“T-There, there, Leni…” Lincoln finds his strength, returning her hug. “It’s okay.”
“It makes me so happy but sad at the same time! Because like, why does time have to go by so quickly??” Leni questions aloud. “Lori, was like, so right about that!”
“…Yeah.” Lincoln smiles sadly. “Yeah, I understand that. I… feel the same way.”
“It’s not all bad, though, sweetie.” Rita reassures him with a smile. “Now you’ll have a lot more independence!”
“That’s right, son!” Lynn Sr. nodded. “Now you’re officially a man. And before long, just like Lori and Luna, you’ll have your own job, your own space… You’ll be your own man!”
Lincoln tenses up as he hears that.
He knew his Dad meant it in a good way, but… that’s precisely what he feared the most.
He… He liked the way things were. Being so close to those he loved.
There was… nothing waiting for him out there.
It was scary, having to wander that hazy fog into the unknown.
“Y-Yeah, Dad. I guess you’re right.” Lincoln forces a smile, slipping his mask back on.
“Ah, but don’t let me distract you from your food!” Lynn Sr. looks over.
“…Leni, dear. You can let your brother go now.” Rita sheepishly grins.
“Ugh, do I haaave to??” Leni pouts.
“Let your brother eat, Leni.” Rita says.
Leni sighs. “Fiiiine…”
The blonde fashionista looks at the table.
“Ooh! Pizza!” Her eyes light up, as if noticing it for the first time.
“Ha!” Lola smirks victoriously, grabbing the large slice of pizza she was fighting over. “Victory!”
“Thanks, Lola!” Leni smiles brightly, grabbing the plate from her hands, thinking it was for her.
“Huh-“ Lola’s eyes widened. “HEY!”
“You know what, I’m okay with this.” Lana smirks.
“Why you-“ Lola growls at her twin.
“Heh, another day in the Loud House…” Luan chuckles to herself.
“…”
Lincoln’s gaze falls on the two notably empty chairs at the table. Ones usually reserved for Lori and Luna in the past.
He frowns, as he ponders the inevitability of more empty seats in the near future.
Lucy watches her brother. Watches him closely.
‘He’s doing it again…’ She noticed.
“Oh, Junior, I’ve been meaning to ask…” Lynn Sr. wipes his mouth with a napkin in between bites. “Did you ever apply like we’ve been talking about?”
Lynn Jr. pauses, before biting into her pizza, as if to buy herself some time.
“Ahem.” She clears her throat, before smiling. “Y-Yeah. ‘Course I did!”
“…You did, huh?” He raises a brow.
“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Lynn Jr. grows more defensive, before taking a breath. “Just… haven’t really gotten a call back yet.
“That’s interesting.” Rita interjects. “Because I stopped by Flip’s the other day- you know Flip.”
“…” Lynn Jr. merely glanced away, her eyes narrowed a bit, knowing what was coming.
“Anyway, I asked him if he’d gotten time to read through your application, and you know what he said?” Rita continued.
‘Does it matter?’ Lynn Jr. thinks to herself.
“He said ‘application? What application? I’d have remembered something like that’.”
“Flip isn’t exactly known for his sharp memory, Mom…” Lynn Jr. retorted.
“Lynn, why are you lying to us?” Rita sounded fed up. “Your father and I have been very understanding, and you’ll of course always have a home here, but you can’t just expect to sit around and do nothing anymore.”
“What’re you calling me, lazy?? I’m the most active member of the family!” Lynn Jr. argues.
“That’s not what we’re saying, Junior.” Lynn Sr. says.
“Then what are you saying, Dad?” Lynn Jr.’s eyes narrow. “I pull my weight around here! I help out around the house! So what if I don’t want some stupid retail job dealing with annoying ass people??”
“Lynn…” Rita narrows her eyes. “We just want you to have some independence. Look at Luan who’s learning a skill to help your father at his restaurant, or Leni who’s worked her way up to a manager position. They have their own goals and they’re doing very well at it.”
She pauses for a moment.
“Maybe it’s time to have some goals of your own?”
Lynn Jr.’s eyes water slightly, as she stands up from her seat.
“You’re just sweeping me out the damn door! You can’t wait until I’m gone!”
“Lynn, honey, no-“ Lynn Sr. tries to reassure.
“I don’t want to hear it!” Lynn Jr. sniffles. “I just… leave me alone!”
With that, she storms out of the kitchen, heading out the back door.
Lynn Sr. sighs, looking rather guilty.
“…I’m sorry, guys.” He says to the rest of the table. “Especially you, Lincoln. I shouldn’t have brought that up during dinner.”
‘Yeah, probably not…’ Lincoln mentally agreed.
“Oh, uh… don’t worry about it, Dad. It’s… alright.” Lincoln reassures him.
This wasn’t a new subject.
Their parents had been on Lynn’s case ever since her own graduation two years back. At first, it was just a friendly nudge.
But now it had escalated into rougher jabs and not so subtle hints.
He didn’t think they wanted to get rid of Lynn out of any sort of malice or anything like that. On the contrary, they loved Lynn very much.
But… more likely than not, they probably feared Lynn not finding her own calling. Especially since her planned sports career never really took off…
“…”
Lincoln kept silent, looking towards the back door Lynn retreated to.
He stands up.
“Done already, Lincoln?” Rita asks with slight concern.
“Don’t worry… I’ll have some later.” Lincoln continues looking towards the back door. “I’m… gonna go check on Lynn.”
They could only nod in understanding, not doing anything to stop him.
He and Lynn Jr. had always been extremely close… ever since they were young.
So if anyone was gonna do anything to improve her mood, it would probably be Lincoln.
“…” Lucy remained silent, watching as he left.
‘I’ll need to think of the best way to talk to him later… Something tells me this will… not be an easy subject to tackle.’
As Lincoln entered the backyard, the first thing he heard were sniffles and quiet sobbing.
Already not a good sign…
But this didn’t deter Lincoln.
No, on the contrary… It only spurred him to action even quicker.
“Lynn??” Lincoln called out, rushing towards the sound of the crying.
Lynn made no effort to turn around and face him, instead just burying her face into her knees.
“Go away, Lincoln…”
“Lynn…” Lincoln finds his sister sitting beneath the large tree in the middle of the backyard. Definitely hard to miss.
…
He heard his sister’s request, but then again, he wasn’t one to give up easily.
“Lynn, it’s okay… You know you can talk to m-“
“What part of ‘go away’ do you not understand??” Lynn bites back, narrowing her eyes tearfully. “Just leave me alone.”
“…” Lincoln frowns, feeling a bit stung, but… he understood.
“I… okay.” Lincoln respects Lynn’s wishes, turning around to head back inside. “I’m… around if you need to talk.”
“…”
Lynn sniffles again, watching as he leaves.
“…H-Hey.” Lynn softly calls out.
Lincoln stops, facing her with a cocked brow.
“I… I’m sorry.” Lynn sighs, appearing rather guilty. “You… don’t deserve that. It’s… not your fault.”
“Lynn, you know I only want to help you…”
“I… I know.” Lynn frowns, pulling her knees closer inwards.
“…Can I sit?” Lincoln asks her for permission.
Lynn says nothing at first, silently pondering the request.
But eventually, she relents, silently nodding.
Lincoln takes a seat next to her, leaning back against the large tree and staring out into the distance.
The two siblings say nothing for what must have been a few minutes.
Both seemed to be collecting themselves and their thoughts.
“…I’m so tired, Lincoln.” Lynn finally breaks the silence, her voice sounding, true to her word, exhausted. “Tired of everything. Tired of all these changes and these… these expectations.”
“…” Lincoln says nothing, letting Lynn vent her heart out.
“Mom and Dad didn’t have to do that during dinner. We were fucking celebrating!” Lynn’s eyes narrow. “I mean… god! I get it! I get that I can’t be a bum who leeches off her family forever. But…”
Lynn closes her eyes.
“…I’m so… so fucking scared, Lincoln.”
“…Scared?” Lincoln frowns.
“Y-Yes…” Lynn takes a shaky breath. “I…”
Her eyes narrow.
“You better not make fun of me for this, or tell anyone!”
“Have I ever given you that impression?” Lincoln retorted.
“…”
Lynn sighs.
“No… No, I just…” She frowns. “I don’t… do this often. I don’t… talk to people like this. I usually just deal with it myself.”
“That’s not true. We used to talk like this all the time-“
“Keywords: ‘used to’, Linc…” Lynn looks downward, eyes half-lidded. “I… See, this is what I mean.”
“Mean… what?” Lincoln asked.
Lynn’s frown deepens.
“…Things… are different now, Lincoln. Things are changing for this family. Everyone… has some sort of plan or… is moving on with their lives, and…”
She pauses.
“Like, yeah! It’s natural! That’s kinda just how life works! But dammit, Lincoln! I don’t like change!” She looks him in the eye, tears continuing to fall. “I don’t have a plan, or a goal in life… I used to, but so fucking much for that! I gave it my all, and I still wasn’t good enough for that scholarship!”
“Lynn…” Lincoln frowns.
“No, Stinkin’! You listen here! I… I…”
“Lynn…” He cuts her off again, sitting up higher. “You’re shaking…”
Sure enough, Lynn was trembling. Trembling in fear, anger, sadness… a whole mixture of different emotions.
Lynn closes her eyes, hanging her head down low.
“Dammit…” Lynn whispers to herself. “I’m… I’m such a fucking loser-“
“Lynn!” Lincoln’s voice was more firm, immediately catching Lynn’s attention.
“…”
Lynn’s tearful eyes went wide, staring at her brother in surprise.
He was rarely ever this… assertive. At least from what she could remember.
But nothing could prepare her for what happened next.
Lynn gasps sharply, as out of nowhere… Lincoln wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.
“…”
It was pure silence in those next moments, Lynn’s brain unable to process what was going on at first.
But soon enough, she caught up. And when she did, she was a sobbing mess, wrapping her own arms around Lincoln and holding him tight.
“…It’s okay, Lynn.” He reassures her. “I’m here.”
Lynn offers no response, too overwhelmed with emotions to do anything but cry into her brother’s shoulder.
It was obvious… she hadn’t done anything like this in a long time…
Not in many years.
As she said, she was used to handling her own problems, not venting like this.
It was… a change of pace.
Or perhaps a return to form? A form long buried by them.
…
It was unclear how much longer Lynn cried, but it was at least several minutes.
But eventually… her tears did dry up, and her mood did begin to improve.
Sniffle.
Lynn leans against Lincoln’s shoulder, her eyes puffy and all cried out by this point.
“Hey…” Lynn eventually broke the silence after awhile.
“…Yeah?” Lincoln responded to her, making no effort to move.
“…Thanks.” Lynn spoke genuinely. “I’m…”
She frowned, appearing guilty.
“I’m sorry you have to put up with my-“
“Don’t ever apologize for that.” Lincoln, once again, sounded firm.
“…”
“I… I like helping you out.” It was Lincoln’s turn to talk. “Well… I don’t like it when you’re sad obviously, but… I guess what I’m saying is… being there for you or any of the rest of my family doesn’t bother me.”
He looks into her eyes.
“So never apologize for it.”
“…”
Lynn could only stare back, stunned for a moment, before she smirks.
“Heh. Maybe you haven’t changed much, Linc. And here all this time I’ve been wondering.”
Lincoln’s expression fell, a familiar sense of guilt returning.
“…You have, huh?”
“Yeah…” Lynn admitted, staring out into the distance. “…We used to hang out all the time when we were younger. Had little talks like this.”
She frowned as she reminisced.
“Whatever happened? When did we get so… distant?”
Lincoln looks down, his guilt expanding.
He knew the answer to that…
He grew more distant with a lot of his sisters in his teenage years, mainly because he got caught up in his own things and so did they…
The same was true for his relationship with Lynn.
They used to wrestle, run, or play any kind of sport you could think of together when they were younger. They got Flippies together, hung out at the mall, had sleepovers in each others’ rooms. You name it!
Lincoln and Lynn were as close as close could be.
Then came the changes.
The first nail in the coffin was their parents separating them as roommates when they were kids. No longer could they share a room together like they used to. Because not only did Lucy need a roommate, but Lynn Sr. insisted that ‘a man needed his space’.
Little did they know at the time that the main reason for the separation was mostly because it felt more inappropriate as they got older.
But that was fine, because they were still able to hang out! They were just down the hall from one another, and they still played together outside quite often!
At least until they didn’t…
The older Lincoln got, the busier he became. The more he hung out with Clyde and chased after girls in school, the less time he had to get a Flippy with Lynn.
The more he buried himself in his drawings, the less time he had to take Lynn up on any of her activities.
“I’m busy right now” or “Maybe later” were popular excuses.
And boy did Lincoln regret that…
Only now, when these changes became more prominent from his perspective, did he wish he’d done things differently.
He missed who he was as a bright-eyed young boy…
He missed the relationships he had with his family…
He often wondered if perhaps that same boy was buried underneath somewhere…
“…Lincoln?” Lynn frowns, waving a hand in front of his face.
“H-Huh?” Lincoln snaps out of his thoughts.
“You okay?” Lynn asks him.
“…”
Lincoln sighs.
“The truth is, Lynn… I… I understand how you feel.”
“Huh?” Lynn’s eyes widened a bit in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“…I’m scared too.” Lincoln admits. “Of all these changes.”
Lynn falls silent, her attention fully on him.
“I thought I’d be happy to graduate…” Lincoln peers downwards. “I thought I’d be thrilled to become an adult and become more independent. But… how can I possibly enjoy that when it means we’ll have to be apart??”
“I love our family. I don’t want us to be apart! We’re already distant enough as it is! You’re telling me it’s only gonna get worse!?” Lincoln’s eyes narrow. “How am I supposed to be happy about that!?”
“…” Lynn was stunned, so stunned she couldn’t speak.
She had… no idea he felt that way.
From her perspective, he’d been looking forward to this day all year…
Was he… truly that good at hiding his true feelings?
Or did she just not understand her brother as well as she used to?
“Lincoln…” Lynn frowned. “I…”
“Don’t feel bad for not knowing.” Lincoln could already tell where her head was at. “I had no idea you were dealing with all these feelings either.”
“…Yeah.” Lynn sheepishly grins. “Guess that means we’re both clueless, huh?”
“…I guess it does.”
“…”
“…”
“Fuck this.” Lynn stands up to her feet.
“Huh-“ Lincoln looks up in shock. “Wha- Lynn!?” His eyes widen as Lynn yanks him up.
“What are you-“
Lincoln is cut off.
“I’m tired of all this sad and mopey crap…” Lynn smirks his direction. “So what if we’re not that close anymore!? That just means we gotta make an effort to make things how they were, right?”
“I…” Lincoln blinks. “I mean, I can understand your logic, but-“
“Blah blah blah! Wrestle me!” Lynn challenged.
“H-Huh!?” Lincoln’s eyes widened. “Wrestle you!?”
“That’s what I said. Are you deaf?” Lynn teased.
“I just… don’t understand. Why-“
“Isn’t it obvious? We used to do this all the time!” Lynn grinned. “What better way to rebuild our relationship than taking a trip down memory lane: me kicking your butt!”
Lincoln’s eyes drooped, his expression appearing very unamused.
“Oh good, just what I was thinking.”
“I knew you were smart, Linc!” Lynn assumes a wrestling stance, one that Lincoln knew well. “Now get ready!”
“Lynn, this is just-“
“HERE COMES!” Lynn leaps through the air, intent on wrestling him to the ground as she did when they were younger.
“GAH!” Lincoln recoils on instinct, but makes an effort to fight back.
…
To his surprise, when they collided, he was still standing.
“Hm?” Lynn sounded surprised. “Huh… Usually you go down by now, but I guess you are bigger.”
She smirks.
“Time to up my game! Ngh!”
She goes for the single leg.
“…”
Lincoln intercepts the attempt.
It wasn’t necessarily easy, and he did need to work for it, but… it definitely wasn’t the stomp that it used to be.
“What the heck!?” Lynn blushes, trying harder to bring him down. “Ngh! Why won’t you… just…”
Lincoln smirks, looking down at the now much shorter Lynn.
“I guess I’m just stronger than you now, Lynn.”
“What!?” Lynn growls. “How dare you! That- That can’t happen!”
“I mean you’re so… weak and- and short and…”
It was only then that she began to realize just how much she underestimated her younger brother… and just how much he’d grown.
Lincoln grins, before he grabs hold of her and trips out her legs.
“GAH!” Lynn gasps, eyes widening as she falls onto her back. “Oof!”
She feels a sudden weight on top of her.
“H-Hey!” Lynn exclaims, trying to squirm her way out of Lincoln’s pin. “That’s not fair! You- You’re cheating somehow!”
“Am I, Lynn?” Lincoln smirks in amusement, keeping her held down. “You know, you’re welcome to tap out whenever you want.”
“Tap out to you!? Ha!” Lynn blushes. “As if!”
Lynn narrows her eyes.
“If you don’t stop your goddamn cheating, I’m gonna…”
She trails off, falling silent.
In her precarious position, Lynn looks up at her younger brother…
At his… stupid and arrogant face. His… idiotic and… chiseled and… handsome form. At how tall he was, and-
Lynn’s blush deepens, as she peers into his overconfident eyes.
“Well?” Lincoln continues to smirk.
“…I…” Lynn’s voice cracks. “…Ugh! Dammit, fine! I… you win.”
She looks away from him, hoping she didn’t notice how embarrassed she was.
“Now will you just let go already!?”
“Heh.” Lincoln chuckles, savoring the concession. “Well, only because you asked so nicely, Sis.”
He lets her go, Lynn practically scrambling to her feet.
“I-Idiot.” Lynn pouts. “…Have you been… working out or something?”
“Hm?” That wasn’t what Lincoln expected. “Oh, well… when I can, I guess. Not as much as you, but I’ve still kept some of the habits you’ve instilled in me.”
“…Huh.”
Lincoln looked towards the sky, seeing the Sun was about ready to fully set.
“Ready to head back inside? Or still need a minute?” He questions.
“…”
Lynn takes a breath, before she smiles.
“Yeah, let’s go…”
The athlete sighs.
“I guess I… should talk to Mom and Dad.”
“Yeah, probably.” Lincoln agrees. “…Need me to come with you?”
Lynn does a double take, for a moment her blush returning.
“H-Huh? Oh, no. I’m… I’m fine, Linc.” She responds.
“…But… thanks.”
Lincoln nods with a smile.
“Well hey, I’m glad we could talk, Lynn. If you ever want to just chill like that again, I’m down. It’s not like I’m busy or anything. Because you know… graduation.”
“Heh, I’ll…” Lynn smiles. “I’ll keep that in mind…
The siblings slide open the back door and re-enter the house.
Maybe they couldn’t be as close as they were before overnight, but it was definitely a start…
Little did they know, however, they would soon become far closer than they ever would have imagined…