Chapter Text
The smashing buttons of the controllers of Mikey’s new PlayStation and the faint scratching noises of Gerard’s pencils are the only sounds heard in their quiet house. Gerard is sitting with his legs crossed on his bed. The volume on the television low, comforting Gerard in his focus.
Gerard can feel the presence of Frank lying next to him. He’s reading one of the comics he stole from Mikey, who probably stole it from Gerard. His dark brows are furrowed in focus and his lip ring flashes with the light of Gerard’s lamp as he mouths the words he is reading to himself.
Frank is in the same year as Mikey, and came to their school last year. Him and Mikey hit it off quick. They became fast friends due to their similar taste in music and movies. In turn, Mikey introduced him and Gerard.
Gerard immediately found Frank to be the most interesting person he has ever met. His piercings and shaved blonde sides captivated him.
Gerard had a little bit of a crush on him as soon as they met. He’s not subtle about it. At least, that’s what Mikey tells him, but Mikey knows everything about Gerard, so that doesn’t really count.
He would never tell Frank about it anyways. He’s too cool for Gerard. He plays guitar in a band and has tons of friends, and could probably get a girlfriend whenever he wanted. The complete opposite of Gerard, who’s only friend is his little brother and his best friend.
“Gee,”
Gerard doesn’t look up from his drawing. “Hm?”
“Frank and I are going to a show on Saturday, you should come,” Mikey says, still smashing the buttons of the controller of whatever shooting game he is playing.
Gerard finally looks up and puts his pencil down to chew on his nail. “Um, no thanks.”
Frank puts down the comic and glares at Gerard. Gerard just looks back with a blank stare and shrugs and goes back to his drawing.
A couple seconds of silence goes by, Gerard can feel Frank staring at him. Frank lets out a huff. Gerard glances up briefly, but says nothing.
Frank huffs again, louder. Gerard ignores him.
“Seriously, Gerard?” Frank says, annoyed.
Gerard fights back a smile. “I already know your tricks, Frankie. I’m not going,”
“Come on man! Pencey is playing. Plus, you never come out with us. It’ll be fun, I promise! I’ll even get you in for free.” Frank begs.
“Hey! You never get me in for free!” Mikey pipes in. They both ignore him.
Gerard still shakes his head. His drawing is almost done.
Frank starts poking Gerard and rolling around his bed. “Pleeaasseee. Gee you have to come.”
“Frank, stop shaking the goddamn bed. I’m not going, I have plans,” Gerard says. Mikey snorts.
“Oh, shut up, you never have plans,” Frank retaliates, still poking Gerard on his leg. Gerard frowns, but doesn’t say anything. Mostly because Frank is right.
Frank flops over and rests his chin on Gerard’s thigh, where his sketchbook is placed, covering the top of his drawing. Gerard groans and finally glances up. Frank is giving him puppy eyes and pouting. He lets out a whine. “Please. Pretty please with sprinkles. And whipped cream.” Frank whispers.
Gerard gulps. Frank has him wrapped around his little finger. “Fine. Okay, fine. Now get off my drawing, you’re gonna get pencil markings on your chin.
Frank and Mikey cheer from excitement, and it’s worth it to see the grin on Frank’s face.
—
Gerard is a year older than both Mikey and Frank. He’s a junior, meaning his time here in high school is ending quickly. Which, thank god.
But that also means that he doesn’t see Frank or Mikey much in school at all. He doesn’t have other friends, so his days in school are typically spent alone and in silence.
He’s in his Precalculus class, not paying attention. He already knows he’s going to fail the exam. He’s doodling figures in his notebook, some that look strangely similar to Frank. He makes a note in the back of his head to show these to Frank next time he sees him.
The girl next to him looks over at his drawings. Which causes Gerard to freeze up and frown. He slams his notebook closed. Before the girl says anything, the bell rings. Gerard rushes out as fast as he can. He walks out the classroom, looking down at his busted converse, and his black hair covering his eyes. He runs completely into somebody, his sorry ass falling to the ground.
“Ow! Motherfucker!” says a familiar voice. Gerard flinches at the noise but looks up to see Frank and one of his many friends. Frank’s eyes flash with recognition and he grins.
“Gerard! Hi! What has you in such a rush? God, your head is hard. Ow.” Frank rambles. He sticks his hand out to help Gerard to his feet. He flushes with embarrassment. He is so uncool.
“Uh, ehm, lunch?” Gerard stutters in reply. The guy next to Frank snorts.
“Public school lunch got you running in the halls?” The guy teases. Frank is holding back a grin. Gerard feels his face getting hotter. He starts biting his nails.
“Um-” He starts nervously, but Frank must notice his discomfort because he scoffs and interrupts Gerard to defend him.
“Oh, shut up, Shaun. Leave him alone.” He punches Shaun on the arm and turns to Gerard. “I’ll see you later Gee, ‘kay?” He says, smiling his little Frank smile. Gerard is going to melt into a puddle of mush.
“‘Kay,” Gerard replies. Frank waves and walks away, with Shaun in tow.
“How in the world do you know that guy?” He hears him mutter to Frank before they turn the corner.
Gerard looks down at his shoes and prays that the linoleum floor will open up and swallow him whole.
—
Saturday comes quicker than Gerard hoped for. He’s laying in bed, reading the comic Frank left here. It’s definitely Gerard’s, considering it says, Property of Gerard Way. Mikey do not steal this on the first page. His notes have never stopped Mikey before. Clearly. He hears banging on his door.
Gerard groans. “I’m not going!”
Mikey opens the door. “Yes, you fucking are. You already told Frank you’re going.” He says flatly. “You have 20 minutes to get ready.”
“I’m not going to a college basement show! No way.”
“Dude, if you don’t go, Frank is gonna give me his sad Frank eyes, and then all night he’s gonna be like, Oh why didn’t Gee come? and, I wish Gerard was here right now. You literally have to go. I can’t handle sad Frank eyes and listen to him talk about you all night. I’ll end up blowing my brains out.” Mikey says. He comes into Gerard’s messy room to look for clothes. He holds up a Smashing Pumpkins shirt. “I’m wearing this.” is all he says.
Gerard frowns. “Don’t say that, man.”
“‘Kay, whatever. If you went, I wouldn’t have to say stuff like that.” Mikey throws a pair of black jeans at Gerard. “Wear these. And find a shirt that doesn’t smell like armpits and jizz. We’re leaving in 15.” Mikey says, and walks out of Gerard’s room.
–
Gerard ends up just finding a black zip up in his closet to wear and throws his beat up converse on before meeting Mikey downstairs.
“We’re going to Rutgers,” Mikey throws the keys to Gerard.
“Does Mom know we’re taking her car?” Gerard asks. They’re walking out of the house and into their mom’s minivan, starting it and immediately turning the heat on.
“Fucking duh Gerard. I’m not stealing her car.” Mikey snaps.
“No need to snap at me,” Gerard mumbles back.
The drive to the house that the show is being held at is short and quiet, the radio humming whatever Mikey put on. Rutgers is only a short 15 minutes from their house, which leaves hardly enough time for Gerard to dwell and work himself up enough confidence to go in.
“Frank said he’s gonna get us in for free,” Mikey breaks the silence, albeit quietly. Gerard just hums in response, parking down the road from the house. He cuts the ignition and stares ahead. He does not want to go in. Stupid Frank and his stupid Frank puppy eyes.
Mikey steps out of the car, and Gerard follows quietly. It’s not hard to tell which house the show is being held at. The house is loud with people loitering outside. Gerard feels himself shaking with nerves and his hands start sweating. Mikey leads Gerard to the back door, where people are being let in.
“Hey, Geoff,” Mikey says to the guy at the doors, because of course Mikey knows him.
“Mikeyway! What’s up! Five dollar entry fee for you and the guy behind you.” Geoff says.
“Oh, that's my brother.” Mikey replies absentmindedly. “So, Frank said he’d, like, get us in.”
Geoff nods. “That motherfucker. We don’t typically let people in for free, but for you Mikeyway and brother. I’ll allow it.” Geoff gets up from his spot by the door and sticks his face inside the front door. “Frankie! Motherfucker get out here!” He yells. The noise makes Gerard flinch.
Out comes Frank, holding a beer. Whoever the fuck runs this place should not be giving highschoolers alcohol. Gerard thinks. Jesus Christ. Frank’s eyes light up in recognition.
“Mikey! You got Gerard out of the house! It’s a Christmas miracle!” Frank says excitedly, grabbing Gerard’s hand.
Geoff starts scolding Frank about telling people he’d let them in for free, but Gerard tunes it out. All he can focus on is Frank’s sweaty hand in his, and the loud noise coming from the house. Gerard can feel his throat constricting from anxiety, but he tries to focus on the body heat coming from Frank.
“Okay, okay! No more freebies!” Frank says. Geoff has a smile on his face, so Gerard thinks there’s no hard feelings. Frank turns to Gerard.
“Let’s go in!” He shouts and yanks Gerard inside, with Mikey following.
Frank leads them down to the basement. It’s small, crammed, hot, and loud. Gerard hates it. The makeshift stage is at the front, which is only about 2 inches off the ground, but he sees Frank’s white guitar on its stand.
“Pencey is next! Gee you gotta be front! I think seeing your face will help my confidence, y’know?” Frank shouts in his ear. The words make Gerard’s heart race, he can’t seem to find anything to reply with. He’s focused on the crowd and the hand still gripped in his own. He looks over at Mikey, who definitely heard Frank’s words and smirks at Gerard.
Gerard thinks he’s going to die.
Frank somehow has pushed both Gerard and Mikey to the front row through the crowded basement. Gerard is now front and center facing the stage.
Frank finally lets go of Gerard’s hand. It feels cold. Gerard frowns at the loss.
He shouts something to them about needing to soundcheck but Gerard tunes it out in favor of staring at Frank and his closeness. Suddenly, Frank is gone from Gerard’s side, and he’s hopped on the stage with his bandmates. The only familiar face being Shaun.
“I think Frankie was gettin’ pretty close to you, don’t you think?” Mikey shouts in his ear. Gerard turns around and punches his arm.
“Shut the fuck up,” Gerard hisses. Mikey snickers.
Finally, the loud music stops, as well as the chatting amongst everyone. Frank steps up to the mic. “Hey, I’m Frank and this is my band, Pencey Prep,” He says, and immediately throws himself into the music.
Gerard has heard their music before, of course he has. This is the first time he is seeing the music live and in the flesh. His first time seeing Frank perform on a stage and not fumbling with a guitar in Gerard’s bedroom.
Frank on stage is hot. He throws himself into it. He’s energetic, and he feels the music. It’s clear how much playing music is important to him. Gerard scolds himself, that it took so long for him to see Frank seemingly in his natural state.
The entire time, Gerard is locked into watching Frank, his eyes never leaving him. Frank watches Gerard back.
The set ends far too soon, with Frank screaming into the mic. The crowd loved them. Gerard loved them.
When Frank hops off the stage, he immediately is in Gerard’s space. “D’ya like it, Gee? Were we good? You can be honest.” He’s rambling and grinning and Gerard can feel Frank’s breath on his face and suddenly he really wants to go home.
He forces a smile. “Frankie, you were amazing,” he says truthfully. He feels his heart in his throat. With Frank this close to him, all he wants to do is close the gap between them and kiss him.
Frank grins at him, big and happy. His eyes squinting and his lip ring glinting under the light and he looks beautiful to Gerard. He pulls Gerard in for a hug, his arms around his waist. He slightly pulls back to look at Mikey.
“Group hug!” Frank shouts. Gerard’s smile is real this time and he giggles, he pulls Mikey in the hug.
When they let go, Frank points to the bar on the opposite side of the stage. “I’m gonna get a beer! I’ll be back,” He shouts, but before he leaves, Gerard grabs him. Frank looks at him in question.
“I, um, I think I’m gonna go home,” He says. Mikey groans behind him.
Gerard feels terrible about it. Being in this room is too suffocating. He can’t watch Frank cling to everyone around him, while Gerard stays in the back and watches. He can’t bring himself to talk to anyone besides his brother and Frank.
“Gerard! Why! It’s gonna be so much fun, there’s two more bands on the bill!” Frank says, begging him to stay. Mikey nods along eagerly.
Gerard is once again praying the ground will swallow him whole.
“I, just,” Gerard wants to die. “I think this is too much for me. I loved watching you, Frank. Believe me you were awesome.” Frank grins at the compliment. “This just isn’t my scene at all. M’sorry,” Gerard says, looking down at his feet. There’s a cup next to his foot.
“Oh, Gee. It’s okay. Right, Mikes?” Frank says reassuringly, looking at Mikey, who nods. “Hey, can I come over when the show is done? You will be up, right? I shouldn’t be gone late and it’s a weekend so my mom won’t be mad about me staying over,” He’s asking Gerard.
Gerard nods. “I’m sorry, Frankie,” He mumbles.
“It’s okay, I promise,” Frank hugs him, and bids both the brothers goodbye.
Mikey and Gerard walked out together, waving goodbye to Geoff on the way out. The air is cold as they walk to the car, shivering.
“You okay?” Mikey asks as they make it in the car. Gerard sighs.
“I just don’t like the crowd. The noise. All of it. I think Frank was awesome. He was so good. I just couldn’t stay any longer. I felt like I was suffocating.” He explains.
Mikey nodded. He didn’t say anything, but he turned on the radio and put Gerard’s favorite The Smiths album CD in. He knew Mikey understood.
–
Gerard woke up to his cellphone ringing. Groaning, he looks at his clock. 2am. He stumbles out of bed to look for the jeans he was wearing earlier, trying to find his phone.
“Hullo,” He mumbles, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He sits up on the edge of his bed.
“Geeeeee,” He hears a familiar giggle on the other side of the line. “Lemme in. I’m outside your door.”
Oh fuck. Gerard forgot about Frank coming over. He’s drunk. His mom will kill both of them if she finds out. Frank’s mom will kill Frank and probably send him to military school. Gerard sighs, exasperated. “Really, Frank?”
Frank just giggles on the other line.
Gerard gets up and puts his slippers on, and slips on his zip up from earlier. He climbs the stairs quietly, and flicks on his porch light. When he opens the door, sure enough, there’s Frank, slumped against the wall of his house, holding his cellphone, and half asleep.
“Ah shit, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Gerard groans. He goes to grab Frank, to pull him up. “C’mon Frank. Let’s go to bed.”
Frank giggles and slumps against Gerard, a dead weight against his chest. Gerard holds back his groan in frustration.
“Frankie, you gotta cooperate with me,”
It takes forever, but Gerard manages to make both of them down the stairs to Gerard’s basement without waking up his mom.
“I’m going to get you clothes. You need to change into them while I go downstairs to get water.” Gerard says, already rummaging through his dresser to find pajamas.
“‘Kay,”
When Gerard gets back upstairs with water, Frank is changed and cocooned up in Gerard’s bed. He passes him the water.
“No,” Frank says childishly. Gerard can’t hold back his frustrated groan this time.
“Frank stop fucking playing. Drink the damn water and then you can sleep,” He forces the cup in Frank’s hand. He pouts, but downs the whole glass of water. He licks his lips and sighs at the empty glass.
“Thank you,” He mumbles and lays down.
Gerard goes to the bathroom to refill the water before setting it down on the table next to his bed. He sees Frank knocked out when he gets back.
Before he overthinks it, he curls up behind Frank in his bed. Frank turns to look at Gerard and smiles faintly.
“‘M so happy you were there tonight. Even if it was just for my set. That’s the best I’ve ever played.” Frank mumbles drunkenly, he grabs Gerard’s face and squishes his cheeks. Gerard feels his face flush.
“Go to sleep, Frank.”
Frank whines but nods anyway. He curls up impossibly close to Gerard.
Gerard feels himself about to fall asleep before Frank speaks again.
“A girl kissed me. Tonight.”
Gerard’s throat tightens. Of fucking course. Of course. He knew Frank was going to get a girlfriend one day, he just wasn’t ready for the day it actually was going to happen. He doesn’t even know why Frank is telling him this.
“And all,” He hiccups. “All I thought about. Was how I wished it was you kissing me,” He sniffs.
Gerard feels his heart in his throat. This can’t be real. If this is a prank, if Mikey told Frank about his crush, he’s going to kill the both of them, and then himself. He’s going to throw up. “Quit fucking playing, Frank,” He whispers.
Frank whines again. “‘M not fuckin’ playin’ Gee.” He opens his eyes and looks at Gerard.
The two of them, curled in Gerard’s bed, staring at each other. It’s two am and it’s fucking cold in Gerard’s shitty basement room.
Frank leans in closer to Gerard, his hot breath fanning over Gerard’s face. He can smell the beer on his breath. It makes Gerard pull a sour look on his face.
Frank puts a hand on Gerard’s face again and pulls him closer, and closer. Their noses are touching. “‘M gonna kiss you now,” Is all Frank says before his lips touch Gerard’s.
His lips are dry, he tastes like cheap beer, and Gerard doesn’t hesitate before he’s kissing Frank back.
The kiss was the sweetest thing Gerard has ever tasted.
Frank pulls away. He leans his head on Gerard’s forehead and giggles. “G’night Gee. Love you.” He passes out.
Gerard feels the lump in his throat. He holds back his tears as he tries to fall asleep, Frank snoring next to him.