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As children Mac and Charlie are about the same size.
They’re thin and small, pale skinned and sunburnt. They’re missing teeth and have matching dark hair that they cut themselves. Not well.
They spend most of their time together, running as fast as their little legs can carry them, throwing rocks at each other (and trains on special occasions).
Charlie likes how their hands fit together perfectly. How when they wrestle it’s an even match (unless Charlie breaks out the biting, but Mac says that’s cheating).
He likes when they sleep in the same bed where he doesn’t have to worry about Uncle Jack and they wake up with their faces mashed against each other (Mac drools in his sleep, but Charlie pees sometimes so it’s an even trade) and the blankets cover both of them perfectly.
….
As teenagers, they start growing but Mac grows taller. He’s stringy while Charlie is built a little more sturdy.
They’re both still skinny and pale, though they’ve both gotten some thin moustaches that they think makes them look cool and their haircutting skills have mostly improved.
Charlie likes it now when Mac stands behind him like he’s a bodyguard, arms crossed and casting a shadow. He likes when Mac leans over his shoulder or rests his chin on top of Charlie’s hair (complaints about lice notwithstanding) and when he stretches he sees Mac’s bare midsection because his clothes are too short for him now.
Charlie likes that when they sleep in the same bed he can tuck himself safely in Mac’s protective arms, breathing in the familiar sweaty scent of his best friend. He likes to find the few rough patches on Mac’s arms where his annoyed mother burnt him with a cigarette and trace his thumb over them in circles.
Mac plants a gentle kiss atop Charlie’s head without even thinking.
The blankets don’t cover both of them together anymore, but they don’t mind.
…..
They become adults and Mac is still taller. They’ve both grown proper facial hair and they’ve figured out their styles.
Mac with his sleeveless shirts (many of which stolen from Dennis) and often ripped jeans. He’s gotten tattoos on his arm and a shamrock on his thigh that he keeps trying to show off to cement his Irish heritage.
His hair is slicked back all the time now, looking slightly greasy with all the gel he combs into it, and he’s taken to wearing a cologne that Charlie adores the smell of.
Charlie found a green coat he really likes.
Any non-sleeveless shirts are usually shared between them depending on who grabs what first.
The two of them are working in a bar with Dennis and his sister Sweet Dee. They have less sleepovers and when they do have them Dennis likes to be included. Charlie likes Dennis a lot (he’s his second best friend) but he also doesn’t like sharing.
He does love working at Paddy’s though.
Sure he’s stuck with all the Charlie Work and he traded his shares for ham sandwiches and such, but he gets to be with his friends all the time! And Dee. Who still qualifies as a friend, but she’s Dee so it’s different.
Mac has decided he is the sheriff of Paddy’s so he spends a lot of time standing around with his arms crossed looking tough. Charlie thinks the tattoos were a good decision on that front, and he likes how muscly Mac is now. Maybe not as muscly as Mac thinks he is, but he looks strong despite still being skinny pretty much everywhere else. Charlie trusts him to keep them safe.
Charlie shares an apartment and a bed with Frank now, so they sleep together less often.
Charlie likes that on the rare occasion they do sleep in the same bed, when they’re drunk (and Charlie has gone to the bathroom first), Mac throws his arms and legs over Charlie like he’s clinging to him. Charlie keeps to his usual spot of curling up into his best friends’ chest, mumbling nonsense because he’s had at least a six pack and he’d huffed some glue before he came over.
Sometimes he notices Mac still leaving a kiss in his hair like when they were younger.
….
Mac is fat.
It takes a second for Charlie to figure that out, more thrown off by the fit of his shirt than what his body looks like, but Dennis makes it quite clear that Mac is fat and that they shouldn’t be okay with that!
Charlie likes it.
Mac is bigger and more imposing, his hair and beard looking lush enough to run your hands through.
Charlie really likes his arms and how thick they are, the way his tattoos look stretched across his skin. When Mac puts out a protective hand Charlie feels just as safe (if not safer) behind him. Charlie also likes that he gets to see Mac’s tummy whenever he stretches like when they were teenagers.
Sure everyone can tell he's going through the eternal struggle of both loving his new “mass” and hating it (read; himself) because for some baffling reason Mac can never just like who he is!
But most of the time he seems happy; eating his fast food, wearing his Tommy Bahama shirts and forcing people to get out of his way when he walks down sidewalks like an angry bull.
When they sleep together is what Charlie likes most about the change though.
Mac is a wonderful combination of warmth and heavy softness. His arm is like a weighted blanket over Charlie and the familiar odor of sweat and cologne wholly overtakes the smaller man’s senses and fills his mind with a familiar fog. Charlie likes how safe he feels in his friend’s arms.
Nothing can get them like this.
Charlie doesn’t mind the snoring, he’s used to sleeping with Frank. Nor is he overly concerned about Mac's sleep apnea. Charlie stops breathing all the time, what was there to be worried about?
….
Mac becomes "not fat" very quickly and suddenly he looks like regular ol’ Mac. Maybe his arms are stronger, but Charlie isn’t about to measure it. Mac is oddly upset about this change to his physique, complaining often about how small he is and taking “size pills” from Dennis (which seems like a bad idea but it hasn’t killed Mac yet).
Charlie isn’t too bothered either way, as long as Mac is happy which he seems to be.
Mac stays like this for a long time, everything back to normal in their little pub world.
Then Dennis leaves.
Mac spends most of his time away from Paddy’s at the gym or working out at home. He’s drinking energy drinks and eating a ridiculous amount of food like boiled chicken or… something. Charlie doesn’t listen when he talks about health food and he definitely doesn’t want to join him.
By the time Dennis comes back, Mac is built like all those men he’s lusted after his whole life.
His hair is parted to one side instead of being completely slicked back, and his face looks sort of… gaunt? Like he’s lost all the fat in his cheeks.
Charlie honestly likes how angular his jaw is though, like he could cut something with it. He likes (again) how big his arms are straining against his t-shirt sleeves or standing out in his muscle shirts. He likes how men suddenly seem to notice how cute Mac actually is when he smiles.
Mac always has the best smile.
However there are a few changes that bother Charlie. He is not a fan of the way Mac stands now. The way he hunches into himself like he’s trying to make himself smaller, to be unimposing
Charlie used to like it when Mac wanted people to be afraid of him, now he seems more afraid of being lonely or hated or useless. Dennis is happy to take advantage of his friend’s eagerness for a while, only to realize it’s Mac so nothing actually gets accomplished and Mac starts clinging harder to him.
Mac somehow decides he got what he wanted physically, what other reason could there be for people not to want him?
Being “hot” has not in fact fixed all his problems like he thought they would.
Charlie likes him all the same, even if he loses his temper at his friend and his ridiculous insecurities more often now…
Charlie likes resting his head on Mac’s large shoulders or his chest when they watch tv on the couch together and he especially likes when they sleep together and he’s pressed into a solid wall of muscle, Mac’s face burrowing into Charlie’s neck like a love deprived cat.
Mac is wearing a new deodorant now under his cologne, old spice or something, another scent to add to the catalogue of “Mac” Charlie likes.
He also likes that Mac goes shirtless more often (something he sadly never felt comfortable doing when he was fat) even if the reasoning for it is stupid.
Charlie kind of misses the tattoos when they go. Of course, not the shamrock on his thigh. Bastard.
….
They start getting older.
Charlie’s dark brown hair has grey mingled in and Mac says he thinks it makes him look “distinguished” whatever that means. He says Charlie’s gap-toothed smile is less distinguished and maybe he should do something about that (Charlie has no idea who first suggests dentures but he hopes to get a pair with fangs!)
Mac decides to shave off his beard and get a new more modern looking haircut which throws Charlie off for a bit, but he gets used to it the way he gets used to every change Mac makes. He often has to fight the urge to feel the now smooth skin of his friend’s face and Charlie really likes watching him put gel in his hair and start spiking it upwards with his fingers the way Charlie’s kinda does naturally.
Their friendship is improving as Mac gains some of his fight back. Charlie is both pleased and tired when Mac starts talking about how he could totally beat up the guy in the movie they're watching now that he’s so buff.
….
The years go by, Mac gets and subsequently loses an earring, he tries leather pants for a while (which Dennis moans is obscene) and he even attempts another moustache that lasts two days before he shaves it in a fit of pique.
Eventually Mac decides to grow his beard back for good, now sporting a salt and pepper look that matches the crows feet and laugh lines on his handsome face.
Mac also decides to get a new tattoo on his lower back, “Paddy’s Pub” with all their names signed under it (yes even Dee’s, but she did that while Mac was sleeping and no one's bothered to tell him). Charlie does his absolute best to spell his own name correctly and legibly, Mac reassuring him as he writes that he doesn’t have to make it perfect.
As he gets older and youth is no longer on his side, Mac’s muscles shrink and he becomes softer. He’s still fit, just not “jacked” anymore.
Charlie likes this a lot, it’s the best of both worlds. He gets to be wrapped up in strong arms and a soft body, with Mac’s beard scratching roughly against his own.
Sleeping together maybe once a week becomes every night after Frank passes away (for real this time) and Charlie feels the absence in his bed like a hole in his chest. It’s Mac who offers most nights, a shy sort of grin, his hands worrying against each other (like Charlie would every say no).
Dennis keeps giving them odd looks like they’re supposed to “know something” every time he catches them going to Mac’s bedroom.
Charlie likes that Mac is snoring again, a light droning sound that fills the silence, offset by the occasional puff of air from his mouth.
One night Charlie wakes up around two in the morning (something that wouldn’t happen if he was still doing the glue-beer-cat food trick like he wanted) and instead of going back to sleep he props himself on one elbow and looks at his best friend.
Ronald McDonald of South Philly who probably needs glasses now but who will never get them because they don't make him look cool, who works out daily and crows about healthiness but still drinks like a sailor on leave, who can go from angrily threatening to poke someone’s eyes out to calm as a kitten if you pet his hair and speak softly to him.
Mac whose body changes just as often as his mood.
Mac who Charlie loves no matter what he looks like.
Huh. He loves Mac…
Charlie smiles crookedly at him.
Mac is sleeping soundly.
Charlie will tell him he loves him tomorrow.
~FIN~