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“I’m a murder guidebook. If anyone deserves to kill her, it should be ME, a finalist.”
Book had a point, she’ll admit, but in that moment, Pin’s pride seemed to swallow her whole. She’d come this far, come so close to finally bringing justice to the world and ridding it of that wretched island stealer.
“No. I’ve been waiting for YEARS to do this. I deserve this.” Her grip on the hammer tightened as she approached the trembling leaf. How fitting, considering that one metaphor she’s heard. Pin didn’t see the look of distress that darkened Book’s face, she didn’t hear the stammered protests that followed or the shaky plea for mercy from Leafy. All she could see was red, blinding anger towards the cause of all her problems. This entire STUPID season was her fault, her stealing Dream Island was why she had been limbless for so long. She lost her face, her size, her dignity, all because of this season and its rules. It was her fault, her fault, HER FAULT.
Maybe if it weren’t for Leafy, she could’ve lived happily on Dream Island with everyone else. No enemies, no Freesmart, no damned prize wheel. She could’ve been normal friends with Coiny instead of their messy, trauma infused dependency. She could’ve been a good friend, a good person, a good…
That’s besides the point. If she doesn’t get on with it now, Leafy will escape and wreak even more havoc on her already wretched life.
She brought the hammer down, feeling her heart beating in her chest and the ringing in her ears come to a climax. For a moment she felt nothing at all. A faint voice echoed through her memories, tainting what should have been a proud moment for a few bitter seconds.
“Pin! Alliance, remember?”
Then she heard the cheering. She turned to see everyone, their smiling faces, even Pencil seemed happy for her. Public enemy number one was dead. She killed Leafy. She did it! She was the best leader to ever bless this earth and finally everyone was seeing her as such! She beamed at the attention, the praise, and any shred of remorse was quickly buried under her pride as she walked past the line of objects, all celebrating her. She was the hero of the story, the protagonist who stopped anyone that stood in her way and brought peace to the world, destroying the great evil once and for all! A blessing to the world and the people who inhabited it! Anyone who said otherwise was stupid and brainless!
She didn’t notice Book running off, or the empty expression she would hold for weeks after the fact.
———————————————
Pin was searching through another abandoned house, digging through piles of discarded junk for anything of use or of interest. This house was a bit odd - there had been concerning amounts of knives stashed in every possible crevice. Under the sink? Knives. In the drawers? Knives. Under a loose floorboard? Knives. Who needed so many damn things anyways? Did this house belong to a serial killer? It sparked her interest, so she decided to look a bit deeper than usual. Coiny had been searching with her, mostly taking little plushies, but he had decided to skip out on this house as it gave him the creeps. Well, if he wanted to be a baby, that was fine by her.
Besides the 30 or so knives she had found, there were also quite a few paintings and little yarn balls that looked handmade. Most were random characters she didn’t recognize, but they were all pretty cute. Pin decided she’d take a few and maybe give them to Coiny, since he would probably appreciate them. A lot of the paintings were related to fire for some odd reason - perhaps the murderer was also an arsonist. Thinking of hypothetical lives behind all the items in long abandoned homes was a fun way to pass the time while she was in these places. Then, while she was rummaging in the bedroom, she noticed a little book on the floor. The cover was quite cute - a floral pattern with little lemons scattered around it. On the back cover there was a little horse painting, presumably done by the owner of the book. For some reason the cover was achingly familiar, but she chalked it up to seeing it in a book store earlier or something and not realizing. Still, her curiosity was sparked. If this was the diary of a potential murderer and arsonist it would surely be very interesting! She eagerly put it in her take home box, next to a couple knives. Hey, if nobody was using them anymore, she wouldn’t let them go to waste.
———————————————
Later that night, once Coiny had eagerly accepted the little yarn creations and gone off to read his comics, Pin sat in the corner of her little room with a circular pillow and took out the intriguing book. Under the dim light of her lamp, the details were slightly harder to make out. She turned up the brightness using the knob on the lamp so she could actually read the words, then opened to page one.
“Hi there, Diary! I just bought you today on this silly website because your cover was way too cute for me to resist. I’m gonna paint something on the back I think, just to personalize you a bit more. I probably won’t write daily though, I'm way too lazy and forgetful! But today I should introduce myself! I’m Leafy, my favorite color is red, and I really like horses and baking and drawing and making friends! My absolute bestest friends right now are Bubble and Pin. I have so so so much I wanna say about them, but I’ll save it for next time because my hand hurts from writing. I should make it a habit to write more, so my hands will last longer! For now though I will make some doodles since I’m so bored. Talk to you tomorrow!!!!! ^-^”
The next few pages were filled with little doodles of horses, Leafy, and Pin.
Unable to comprehend what she had just read from the shock, Pin turned the page.
“Hey there Diary! Today I want to talk about my friends more in depth, since I love them so much. First of all there’s Bubble! She’s the sweetest object I know, she loves to help people and is super duper nice! Almost my level of nice, even though it’s pretty much untoppable hehe. Don’t worry Diary, you’re very high up as well! Bubble loves the colors pink and blue and Yoylecake, and she’s always wanted these super cool bouncy springy shoes! Once I save up enough again, I’m totally gonna surprise her with them. She’ll be so happy, I can already see her face lighting up hehe! I’m super duper nice for doing that for her, of course. I can’t wait to hang out with her again, we played checkers last time and she won, but only because I was distracted thinking! I’m totally gonna beat her next time, I even read through a whole strategy book >:D”
“Anywaysies, my next ultra best friend is Pin! She’s super awesome and cool, and she likes all the same things I do! She’s also totally stronger than me, she always opens my jars and stuff when we’re home :p and squishes bugs! Those things are totally scary and deadly but she just stomps on them with her bare feet like it’s nothing!!! It’s soooo cool though, like Pin in general! And she hangs out with me all the time, so she’s very very high on my niceness chart. The other day she even bought me a horse figure I had been saving for for so long! I swear I was about to cry from how happy I was :’) it’s front and center in my collection now! It feels even cooler since it’s from a friend! I’m gonna make plans to bake her something yummy as a thank you gift, maybe brownies or cheesecake since she totally loves those! Ooh and she made me strawberry shortcake that one time, that’s my favorite food in the entire world by the way! She’s so smart and observant! Anyways, thanks for listening to me ramble about my two awesome friends. I have a lot more but I don’t think they’d all fit in this book if I talked about all of them! I love my friends :) don’t worry that includes you too, Diary! I hope you have a good night!”
“Hiya Diary! Something totally weird happened today. This weird metal box thing called “The Announcer” offered us this awesome island that sounds super cool and fun, but we have to compete on this game show against each other to win it. Our first challenge was to stay on a balance beam, which I won!!! With Pin since me and her were in an alliance. So now I’m the team captain! My team’s called the Squashy Grapes, which I didn’t pick but it’s pretty neat! I am sad that Pin is on a different team than me though -.- but it’ll be okay, if I win the island I’ll let her on it. And she said the same for me! I’m super excited to see how this show pans out :D plus it has so many opportunities for friendships! I’ll keep you posted, Diary! Talk to you soon!”
“Hi Diary. Sorry I haven’t been writing as much lately :( the show’s got me quite busy though! I don’t have as much time to write these days. Sadly Pin got eliminated and I really really miss her! The Announcer said something about TLC but I’m not exactly sure what he means? He kind of scares me, he’s super weird! But he does have Dream Island, so I’ll just keep a close eye on him for now. Bubble’s been so mean lately as well :( she rejected the springy shoes I got her AND was ungrateful that I tried to help her so much!!!!! >:( not very nice! She’s gonna have to do a lot of work to get back to her previous niceness level. I am very forgiving, but you can only push me so far! But anyways, I made a new friend! His name is Firey, he’s very cool! Well not cool because he’s fire, he’s hot WAIT THAT SOUNDS WEIRD! Ignore that please. Umm anyways, his favorite color is yellow and he likes chocolate! Once this competition is over I’ll have to bake him brownies or chocolate cookies. I’m sure our friendship is gonna last a very long time!”
Knowing how that ended up, Pin winced. At this point she was so absorbed in the nostalgic writing, all other reality seemed to fade away. She continued blankly turning pages, remembering the memories Leafy was so eagerly describing. Pin never realized Leafy thought of her so fondly, even going so far as to figure out all her favorite things in order to make her happy. She turned the page once more, wondering what else could be written in this.
“Hi Diary. Things haven’t gone well recently, but I figured I’d write in here again. I realized just now that I totally forgot to put dates in all of these entries T-T oh well, too late now. I’m living in Yoyleland now. It’s a bit quiet, but I haven’t gotten tired of how Yoyleberries taste at least! I’m sure everyone will forget about this whole fiasco soon. I can go back and see all my friends again after that! Even though she did lead an attack on me, I’m willing to forgive Pin. She was probably just doing what she thought was best after all, so I won’t hold it against her. I still love her I’ll probably start the walk back to Goiky soon. I am excited to see my friends again! I’m sure they’ll be happy to see me too :) but I am gonna leave you in Yoyleland for now. Just so that you don’t get damaged on the way back! Anyways, I hope I’ll see you soon with all my friends, Diary!”
“Somebody recovered me. I don’t really know how long it’s been but I have my suspicions. I hope everyone still remembers me. I hope they’ll forgive me now. I’m starting to get sick of these berries. They make me gray and ugly and I kind of want to tear my skin off.”
“I’m going to try and find a friend to talk to. I don’t care who at this point, I just want to talk to somebody. Somebody who still likes me.”
“I don’t like Ice Cube anymore.”
“The WTFers look really happy even though they’re eliminated. Firey didn’t recognize me when I tried to talk to him, but I’m sure he still cares about me deep down! with that big speech he made you’d think he’d at least TRY TO ta he’s probably just waiting for a good moment! I’ll be patient for him, like a good friend.”
“I’ll try to talk to the remaining BFDIA contestants. They all seem like pretty nice people, well most of them. Pin seems really different from when I last saw her. But the others should be fine! TB’s always been friendly, I could get to know Coiny better, Needle is an old friend who surely isn’t as petty as some people these days and Book looks really sweet from what I’ve gathered! Wish me luck, Diary!”
“I relapsed again. I wish I could tell him I’m sorry.”
“I’m gonna talk to Pin this time. Please just let this work out I don’t think I can handle another rejection. Please.”
Blood stained the next page. Pin suppressed a gag, able to imagine what might’ve prompted it.
“I should write in you more. You’re the only friend I have left. I’ll try to sound more positive, promise.”
“Dear Diary, I got chosen to be the next host of BFDIA! I have tons of ideas to hang out with my friends come up with fun challenges everyone will love. My favorite idea is the one where the contestants take me to places and I plant flags in their name, but I’m also a fan of the writing fanfiction challenge. I have a lot of tips after all. I’ll try to keep you posted on what happens!”
“Pin got eliminated :( I was rooting for her…I guess Coiny or Tennis Ball will do… :’(“
“I am going to the junkyard with that annoying ball thing.
“Dear Diary, Book is a lost cause. Tune in tomorrow for more Leafy lamentations.”
“Bubble recovered me. That death was really really painful, I hope I don’t see that drill ever again. I want to see Pin again. Maybe she’ll understand. I think hanging out with Bubble and Flower is fine too though. I might make a new niceness chart soon, it’s been a while.”
“Why do they still hate me?”
“I don’t like Tennis Ball.”
“I don’t like Bubble.”
“I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“I think I love Pin.”
“Hey Diary. BFDIA is ending soon. I don’t know what’s gonna happen after it ends but maybe it’ll mean I finally get my friends back? I am curious on who is going to win. My bet is on Needle. Book’s track record isn’t the best after all. I still wish Pin had won, but it’s okay. I’ll just try to talk to her in private after the winner is revealed. I’m going to watch the final Cake at Stake now. See you, Diary! I’ll make sure to tell you who won!”
The rest of the pages are blank.
Pin stared at the book, closing it with trembling hands. What? What did she just read? Did Leafy really- think they were friends? That she cared…about her?
She felt sick. She murdered her friend for the sake of upholding her reputation or something fucking stupid like that.
Suddenly she felt something wet on her face. Her vision went blurry. She wasn’t a leader, or a hero, or something special, was she? All she ever did was inflict misery and pain onto other people. She hurt Book, Ice Cube, Coiny- she hurt Leafy. All she did was take and hurt and rip apart all the friendships she had. She wasn’t a hero, she was the antagonist of someone else’s story and Leafy was one of her victims.
She curled up into a ball, body shaking with every sob that escaped her pathetic self. She might’ve been the worst object to ever curse this planet. Leafy suffered so much, and now she was gone and gone forever. Because of Pin. She could’ve stood up for Leafy, or suggested something other than the death penalty. If this was the universe punishing her, it was doing a damn good job.
She couldn’t hear Coiny frantically asking what was wrong, couldn’t feel his warm arms wrapped around her body, couldn’t see his panicked face.
All she could see was the lovely shade of green, the bright, starry-eyed smile, the little stem tail that would wag every time Pin so much as looked at her.
All she could hear was the crushing thud of the hammer as it hit the ground, the quiet crunch of an autumn leaf being stepped on.
“Pin! Alliance, remember?”