Chapter Text
It felt like flying.
But not in a good way, like soaring above the clouds has always felt like to him. It felt like loosing control; just like when he lost his cheat sheet during his first flight with Toothless, all that time ago. That feeling of falling. The air rushing up against him. The weightlessness, that felt terrifying and oddly exhilarating at the same time. They all now held the same, sour, aftertaste in his mouth.
They were falling quickly — that he could tell — but it felt like the outside world had come to a halt, and the only things still moving were them rapidly dropping. It was as if like time had stopped and didn't plan on ever starting up again, but still let them have their own little bubble for the last moments of their life.
He could feel Grimmel's pull on his prosthesis and the wind around them as they fell. Somewhere far in the distance he could hear a scream — or maybe it had been a shout — but it was so stretched out that every syllable had melted together into one and became indistinguishable. Still he wished that he could have known what it was that the person had said. After all, he knew that he wouldn't be around for much longer, considering the situation he had found himself in, and it would have been nice to hear one of the last voices he would ever hear, correctly.
He hoped that Astrid would be okay once he was gone. That nothing would ever happen to her — that he wouldn't be seeing her in Valhalla any time soon. He hopped that his mother wouldn't mourn him too strongly — that his friends, Gobber and all of the people of Berk would be okay as well. Hoped that every one of them would forgive him for what had happened because of him one day. If not for him, then at least for their own sake.
He allowed himself to hope that his father would greet him once he arrived in Valhalla, where he would be sitting next to other passed chiefs and warriors. He hoped that he would understand his actions and that he wouldn't be mad at him for joining him so soon — barely a year after his own demise.
The Berkians should pick Astrid for the next chieftain. Snotloud might be mad but deep down I'm sure he knows that it's not for him — he thought — And at least she will have something to do and not think about what happened.
It felt wrong to think of his friends in such a manner, but a chief protects his own and if that meant pushing his personal feelings aside, than that's what he would do. It didn't matter that he wouldn't be around anymore to witness the future of his people.
They were getting closer to the surface of the water. Barely moments away from the surface. Both Hiccup and Grimmel knew that the hight they fell form meant certain death. Still, the water didn't look menacing to him. It was different from the one that licked the shores of Berk. That one was inviting, familiar, known. This one — the one he was getting closer and closer to — felt foreign. Like an end of en era. Or a new story — a new beginning. It was deep and dark in colour, and it reminded him of looking at the nights sky; the waves formed the clouds, and the fish, rocks and everything else that could be found beneath — formed the stars and constellations.
Hiccup liked to think that he hadn't had many regrets at that moment. Maybe he had whished that he had done more, or had said more, maybe saw more. But at that time, he knew that it was much to late to contemplate about what could have been had things gone differently.
They were gracing the surface of the water, when he turned towards the land for the last time ever. There he saw Toothless, who looked tired and scared after everything that had already happened that day. Nonetheless, the dragon seemed to be getting ready to fly towards him — even though he was in no shape to do so. More to the side he saw his group of friends, in the middle of which stood Astrid. All of them were staring at him, or at least that's what it had seemed like, as their faces were turned towards him. Still his eyes couldn't leave her face. Her beautiful face — that should always be split with her contagious smile — was contorted in shock and terror, and it broke his heart to see her look towards him in this way. It was that moment, when he suddenly understood, that it still hadn't sunken in for her, or anyone of them for that matter, what was about to happen to him. That this was the last time that they would ever see him living and breathing.
Alive.
Somewhere in his mind he could hear a whisper of a thought that he never really had allowed himself to fully think.
I had hoped to marry her; with my mother and father by my side.
Ever since it had first appeared in his head, he knew that it wouldn't ever happened; at first, his mother had been thought to be long gone, later on — it had been his father that wasn't around anymore. Still if anybody had had ever asked him, he would have denied such a thought having ever existed. No matter wether it would have been a villager of Astrid herself — he'd had always planed to take this thought with him to Valhalla.
In that split second he felt the first drop of water on his body, made by the splash created by Grimmels body, his final wish formed in his head. As his body hit the hard surface, softer then Grimmel's had, but still with a deathly force — just as he was consciousness started leaving him and agony erupted all throughout his body, it finally appeared in his mind.
I wish i had one more chance to make her smile.