Chapter Text
Taissa clutched her phone, pacing the length of her small apartment as she dialed Shauna’s number. The ringing felt endless until, finally, Shauna’s familiar voice answered on the other end.
“Hey, Tai. What’s up?” Shauna sounded warm, but Taissa could hear the hint of caution.
“Shauna, I know you’re busy, but—please, just hear me out,” Taissa said, her words tumbling out in a rush. “The band’s in a mess. We lost our guitarist, and… I know it’s been a long time since you picked up the guitar, but you were incredible back then. You still are, I know it.”
There was a pause. Taissa could imagine Shauna chewing her lip, thinking. “Tai, I haven’t played in years. I’m rusty. You need someone who actually knows what they’re doing.”
“We need you, Shauna. Just one rehearsal session,” Taissa pleaded. “You remember how it felt, right? Us, together. It’s just one night. If it doesn’t work, I’ll drop it, I promise. But I need you to try.”
On the other end, Shauna sighed. There was a note of longing in her silence, a nostalgia for late nights and shared dreams. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” she finally said, a smile creeping into her voice.
Taissa grinned, relief washing over her. “So you’ll come?”
“I’ll come,” Shauna replied, her laughter echoing through the phone like old times. “But if I embarrass myself, I’m blaming you.”
Taissa laughed, feeling hope for the first time in days. “Deal. See you at rehearsal, best friend.”
—
Shauna stared out the airplane window, watching clouds drift by as the miles ticked away beneath her. Her phone buzzed with a new message from Taissa. The link to a Spotify playlist titled “Setlist for Saturday.” Shauna smiled, heart pounding with equal parts excitement and nerves. She thumbed over the play button, then hesitated, tucking her phone back into her jacket. She’d listen later. Right now, she wanted to let her memories fill the silence.
The layover was short, the cab ride even shorter. When she finally reached the rehearsal space, the city felt both unfamiliar and achingly familiar. Shauna drew a deep breath, steeling herself, and pushed open the heavy door.
Inside, laughter bounced off the walls. She paused, taking in the scene: Taissa grinning wide, Van sprawled across an amp, Nat strumming absentmindedly, and Lottie adjusting a tangle of wires. Each face tugged at memories from high school: sleepovers, concerts, secrets whispered after midnight.
But one thing was missing. An empty microphone stood at the center of the room, waiting. Shauna’s heart skipped as her old friends turned one by one, their smiles growing as they recognized her. The reunion was real, and the music, old and new, was about to begin. As Shauna stepped fully into the room, she barely had time to take a breath before she was surrounded. Van was the first to reach her, throwing her arms around Shauna in a hug that was just a little too tight. “Six years, Shauna! You look exactly the same—maybe a little more responsible,” Van teased, eyes crinkling with mischief.
Nat grinned from across the room, setting her guitar aside. “I thought you went off and became some mysterious writer in the city. Didn’t think we’d ever drag you back here.” There was warmth in her voice, a fondness that softened the bite of her words.
Lottie smiled gently, her presence as soothing as ever. “You know, it’s strange seeing you here and not in our old dorm, Shauna.”
Taissa nudged her, laughing. “Yeah, but at least now you won’t steal my headphones.”
Shauna felt her nerves dissolving, replaced by a deep nostalgia. “Some things never change, huh?” she said, glancing around at the faces that had shaped so much of her life.
Lottie and Taissa exchanged a knowing look, three friends bound by shared years at Brown, secrets, and late-night study sessions. Van and Nat, too, brought back memories of high school chaos and the music that had always tied them together.
“We’ve missed you, Shauna,” Lottie said quietly, stepping forward.
Shauna’s throat tightened. “I’ve missed you guys, too.”
It wasn’t just a rehearsal. It was homecoming. The room hummed with nervous energy as everyone took their places. Van slung her bass over her shoulder, fingers tapping out a restless rhythm on the strings. Nat perched behind the drum kit, twirling her sticks, a mischievous spark in her eyes. Lottie powered up the keyboard, hands hovering over the keys, her calm presence grounding the chaos.
Shauna hesitated a moment, running her fingers along the neck of the electric guitar. It felt foreign and familiar all at once—muscle memory itching to return. She looked over at Taissa, who was fiddling with the microphone stand, adjusting the height and checking for feedback.
“Alright,” Taissa said, finally satisfied. She glanced at each of them, her gaze lingering on Shauna with a mix of encouragement and gratitude. “Let’s see if you remember how to do this.”
Van grinned, Nat counted them in with her sticks, and Lottie played the opening chords. As the first notes rang out, something clicked—the years melted away, and the music started to fill the gaps time had left between them.
—
The last chord faded and the room went quiet, except for the buzz of amplifiers and shallow excited breaths. Shauna let her hands fall away from the guitar strings, a surprised smile on her face. She’d stumbled once or twice, but her fingers had found their way, old instincts sharpening with every song.
Taissa grinned across the room. “You didn’t listen to the set list, did you?” she called out, shaking her head in mock disapproval.
Shauna laughed, sheepishly. “I was going to, I swear. Got distracted.”
Van leaned on her bass, smirking. “Classic Shauna. Too cool for homework, even now.”
Nat drummed out a little rimshot. “Yeah, good thing you can fake it. Next time, at least pretend you know the bridge.”
Lottie smiled, a gentle teasing in her voice. “If you’d listened, you’d know we sneakily changed the key on you.”
Shauna rolled her eyes, but her heart was light. “Guess I’ll just have to keep up.”
Taissa stepped up to the empty microphone, glancing at the others. “Well, we’ve got the band back—mostly. Still waiting for our singer.” Tai says, checking the time on her phone.
The group fell quiet for a moment, the empty mic a silent invitation. But for now, laughter and music filled the space, and the band was closer to whole than they’d been in years. The laughter was still echoing around the room when the door creaked open. In stepped Jackie Taylor—Shauna’s old best friend from a lifetime ago. She looked almost unchanged: sharp eyes, confident stance, the same air of self-assurance, but now with a hint of something rogue, a leather jacket, tousled hair, a cool that came from hard-won experience. The years had only added to her presence.
Jackie didn’t look up at the band as she entered. She moved with purpose, setting her bag down near the wall and brushing a hand through her hair. “Sorry I’m late,” she said, directing the apology to Taissa without meeting anyone else’s gaze.
Taissa waved it off, a knowing smile on her lips. “You’re right on time, Jackie.”
Shauna’s heart thudded in her chest. Memories flickered through her mind. Late-night talks, shared secrets, and the falling out that had never truly healed. Jackie still hadn’t looked at her, but her presence filled the room, shifting the energy, promising that this rehearsal was about to get a lot more interesting.
Shauna’s chair scraped sharply against the floor as she shot to her feet, anger and embarrassment flushing her cheeks. “Tai, you didn’t tell me,” she blurted, voice sharper than she intended. The room fell silent, the earlier teasing replaced by a heavy tension.
Taissa’s eyes widened, caught between apology and surprise. “I figured you’d want to see each other, Shauna. You’d have known if you listened to the songs.”
But Shauna barely heard her. She turned, locking eyes with Jackie for the first time in years. Something electric passed between them…hurt, longing, and all the words left unsaid. Jackie’s expression was unreadable, but she met Shauna’s gaze head-on, refusing to look away.
For a moment, the rest of the band faded into the background. It was just Shauna and Jackie, the past pressing in around them, demanding to be acknowledged. Jackie broke the silence first, her tone edged with old bravado and something harder beneath. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Shipman,” she said, using Shauna’s old nickname, her lips curling into a half-smirk. “Wowza. Didn’t think I’d see you back here, let alone holding a guitar.”
The familiar catchphrase, one Jackie used to throw around during late-night escapades, hung in the air, stinging with nostalgia and challenge. Shauna felt her jaw tighten, caught off guard by how easily Jackie could still get under her skin. “Tai asked me to play guitar for you guys,” Shauna replies curtly gesturing to her guitar strapped across her body, “i can leave.” she spits out.
Before Jackie could respond to Shauna or even decide whether to stay or bolt, the rest of the band jumped in at once.
“Whoa, whoa, Shauna, wait!” Van called out, stepping in front of her. “Don’t even think about leaving now.”
Nat put down her drumsticks with a loud clatter. “You can’t just bail on us. This is the first time we’ve sounded good in ages.”
Lottie’s voice was gentle but firm. “Please don’t go, Shauna. We need you.”
Taissa, caught between regret and resolve, added, “I should have told you, but we really do need you both. This could work—if you give it a chance.”
The room filled with earnest pleas and hopeful faces, a chorus of friends old and new, all refusing to let Shauna walk out. Not when the band was so close to being whole again. Shauna paused, every instinct telling her to run, but the sincerity in her friends’ voices rooted her in place. She looked at Van, Nat, Lottie, and finally Taissa, each face brimming with hope and stubborn loyalty. The weight of old history pressed on her, but so did the possibility of something new.
Jackie watched from the sidelines, arms crossed, her expression unreadable. The tension in the room was thick, but it wasn’t just about old wounds; it was about what they could become together.
Taking a shaky breath, Shauna set her guitar strap back on her shoulder. “Alright,” she said quietly, her voice mostly steady. “Let’s try this.”
A collective sigh of relief swept the room. Van grinned, Nat tapped out a rhythm on the rim of her snare, and Lottie played a few hopeful notes on the keys. Taissa offered a grateful smile, adjusting the microphone stand one last time before gesturing to Jackie.
Jackie finally met Shauna’s gaze directly, a challenge and a question in her eyes. After a heartbeat, she stepped up to the mic, her voice low but strong. “Let’s see if you can keep up, Shipman.”
The band readied themselves, old tensions humming beneath the surface, but the promise of music and maybe forgiveness rising above it all.
—
The last song faded out, and for a moment, the room was filled only with the sound of their collective exhale. Shauna set her guitar down gently, her hands tingling from the rush of finally finding the rhythm again. This time, she hadn’t missed a beat.
Everyone was grinning, sweaty and breathless, riding the high of a rehearsal that felt almost like the real thing. Nat tossed her sticks in the air, Van flopped down on an amp, and Taissa wiped her brow, grinning at them all.
Lottie leaned over her keyboard, her eyes searching Shauna’s. “So,” she asked softly, “what do you think? You going to stick around for more than just one day?”
But Shauna barely heard her. Her mind was spinning, replaying the sound of Jackie’s voice, strong, raw, and heartbreakingly beautiful as it soared over each song. She watched Jackie, head tilted back, laughter spilling from her lips as she joked with Nat. The years had changed her, sharpened her, made her even more magnetic than Shauna remembered. ‘God’, she thought, watching Jackie under the stage lights, she is still beautiful.
Shauna tried to answer Lottie, but the words caught in her throat. All she could do was nod, her heart pounding, her thoughts tangled up in the song and the girl at the mic. As soon as Shauna had nodded, the room erupted in cheers.
“Hell yes!” Nat shouted, tossing her sticks into her bag. “That settles it! we’re going out. First round’s on me.”
Van perked up, eyes lighting with mischief. “Now you’re talking, Nat. It’s not a real reunion until someone dances on a table.”
Taissa grinned, bumping shoulders with Lottie, who laughed, relief and excitement mixing in her eyes. Even Jackie cracked a smile, glancing at Shauna with a glint of old, daring camaraderie.
The band gathered their things, the tension from earlier replaced by anticipation and the easy comfort of friends falling back into step. As they headed out, Shauna felt the spark of possibility. Music, friendship, maybe even something more, it was all growing stronger with every laugh and promise of the night ahead.
The group spilled out into the night, their laughter echoing down the street as they made their way to the bar. Taissa and Van led the way, arms slung around each other’s shoulders, already joking about who would win at pool. Just behind them, Jackie walked alone, hands in her jacket pockets, her stride easy and confident.
Lottie and Nat fell into step just in front of Shauna, deep in conversation about the setlist, their voices blending with the hum of the city. Shauna found herself drifting a few steps behind, slower than the rest. She watched her friends from six years ago all caught up in the simple joy of the moment.
But her eyes kept finding Jackie, the way she moved through the crowd with that same effortless cool that had always made her stand out. Shauna’s heart thudded with nerves and anticipation, every step toward the bar feeling like a step deeper into something uncertain, and maybe awful? wonderful? She had no idea what was in store for her.
When they finally reached the bar, Shauna hesitated at the entrance, blinking at the neon sign and the rainbow flags draped in the windows. Inside, warm lights glowed over a packed crowd of women dancing, laughing, and leaning close over drinks. It took her a moment to register where they were, a lesbian bar, unmistakably.
Shauna’s jaw dropped, surprise flickering across her face as the rest of the group moved in with easy familiarity. Van was already waving to someone behind the bar, Nat was grinning ear to ear, Lottie and Taissa squeezed into a booth, and even Jackie looked right at home surveying the scene.
Shauna sidled up to Taissa, lowering her voice. “Wait—since when do you guys go to… here?”
Taissa shrugged, a playful grin on her lips. “Since forever, Shauna. You just never asked.”
Van, overhearing, laughed out loud. “What, you thought we were all token straights in a rock band?”
Nat winked, raising her glass as if in a toast. “Welcome to the club.”
Shauna shook her head, bemused and a little embarrassed, but also unexpectedly relieved. She looked around her eyes meeting Jackie's as she slowly purses her lips to ask her the first question of the night, “and.. you’re- you're gay now? since when? what about jeff?” Jackie burst out laughing, the sound warm and unguarded as she reached for another shot Van slid her way. She tossed it back smoothly, eyes sparkling as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
Leaning in, Jackie finally answered Shauna’s question, her voice casual but honest. “I figured it out in my first year at Rutgers. Didn’t take long.. I ended things with Jeff pretty much right away.”
Van let out a low whistle, impressed but laughing slightly . “Damn, Jackie, a little late to the club, but we accept you.”
Jackie just shrugged, grinning at the memory. “Some of us don’t need a setlist to figure out who we are.”
Shauna felt her cheeks flush, both from the alcohol and the flood of new understanding. Jackie’s words lingered, making the bar feel both familiar and suddenly full of possibility.
—
The drinks kept coming, and the band’s laughter rose to meet the music pulsing through the bar. Van and Taissa were the first to abandon any pretense. By midnight, they were tangled together in a corner booth, lips locked, hands wandering, oblivious to anyone else. Lottie and Nat, always more subtle, sat shoulder-to-shoulder at the bar, exchanging shy glances and soft touches that grew bolder with every round. Nat whispered something in Lottie’s ear, and Lottie blushed, biting her lip and nudging Nat’s knee beneath the counter.
Shauna watched the scene unfold, her heart a strange tangle of amusement and loneliness. She was happy for her friends, no really, she was—but the sight of them all paired up made her feel like she was on the outside looking in. With a dramatic sigh and a muttered “unbelievable,” she slid off her stool and slipped away, weaving through the crowded bar.
The bathroom was a world apart, quieter, the steady thump of bass dulled by the door. Shauna splashed a bit of water on her face, trying to shake off the flush in her cheeks and the roar in her head. She glanced in the mirror, almost startled to see her own reflection slightly older, yes, but still her, still searching.
A cough from behind made her jump. She turned to find Jackie leaning against the sink, one hip cocked, eyeliner pencil in hand. Jackie’s leather jacket was slung over the paper towel dispenser, and she looked as unbothered as ever, but there was a softness in her eyes Shauna hadn’t seen since one of their slumber parties years and years ago.
“Escaping the lovebirds?” Jackie asked, arching an eyebrow as she capped her eyeliner.
Shauna snorted, grateful for the joke. “You have no idea. I felt like I was going to walk in on a wedding proposal if I stayed one second longer.”
Jackie grinned, tossing her pencil into her bag. “Yeah, Van and Tai are a lost cause. Lottie and Nat, though… didn’t see that one coming.”
For a moment, they stood in a comfortable silence, two outsiders drawn together by the chaos outside. Shauna leaned back against the tiled wall, arms folded across her chest. “You always did have a way of showing up when I needed a break.”
Jackie met her gaze, and the air thickened between them, full of old memories and things left unsaid. “Maybe I just missed you, Shipman.”
Shauna swallowed, nerves buzzing. “Yeah?”
Jackie’s lips curved, not quite a smile, but her tone had become softer than before. “Yeah. I did.”
Outside, the bar roared with life. But in that small, fluorescent-lit room, it felt like time had stopped just for them. Shauna leaned against the cool tile, feeling the alcohol swirl warmly in her chest. Jackie caught her gaze in the mirror, her own eyes softer than before.
For a moment, neither spoke. The only sound was the thrum of the bar muffled by the bathroom walls and the distant laughter of their friends.
Jackie broke the silence first, voice quieter than usual. “Did you really never think about calling me?”
Shauna’s cheeks burned, partly from the drinks, partly from the ache of old regret. “I thought about it all the time. I just… I was mad. And scared. And I didn’t know how to explain leaving.”
Jackie turned, leaning back on the sink, arms crossed. “You just disappeared, Shauna. One day we were planning our whole lives, and the next you were gone.”
Shauna’s eyes grew glassy. “I know. I was selfish. I thought if I just started over, it wouldn’t hurt so much. But it did—and I missed you. Every day.”
Jackie studied her for a long moment. “You could’ve just told me you were scared.”
Shauna laughed, shaky and a little teary. “I’m telling you now.”
The memory of sleepovers and secrets pressed close, the space between them charged with longing and the possibility of forgiveness. Jackie caught Shauna’s reflection in the mirror and pushed off from the sink, her boots echoing softly against the tile. She stepped closer, closing the distance between them until Shauna could feel the warmth of her breath.
Jackie leaned in, her voice dropping to a whisper just by Shauna’s ear. “You know, Shipman, I always wondered if you’d ever catch up.”
The words sent a shiver down Shauna’s spine, the old nickname suddenly intimate in the small, quiet space. Jackie lingered, searching Shauna’s eyes, her meaning unmistakable. Shauna’s breath caught as she looked into Jackie’s eyes, realizing just how close they were, Jackie’s boots making them nearly the same height. The steady, mischievous gaze unnerved her more than she wanted to admit.
Shauna tried to speak, but her words tumbled out, tangled and soft. “I-I never really… I mean, I didn’t know, Jackie. Not until…well, not until Brown.” She swallowed hard, cheeks flushed from the alcohol and Jackie’s nearness. “You always make it hard to think straight.”
Jackie’s lips curled into a teasing smile, the tension between them thick and electric as the moment hung in the air. Jackie held Shauna’s gaze for a heartbeat longer, her own expression unreadable. Then, with a soft laugh, she took a step back, putting just enough distance between them to leave Shauna pressed against the sink, cheeks flushed, heart racing, unsure if it was the alcohol or something far stronger.
Jackie straightened her jacket, her tone casual but her eyes lingering. “Goodnight, Shipman,” she said, the old nickname suddenly tender. Without waiting for a reply, Jackie turned and slipped out the door, leaving Shauna alone in the hush of the bathroom, pulse thundering and mind spinning with everything unspoken.
Shauna splashed cold water on her face, trying to steady her breath, but the bathroom felt too small, too charged. She hurried out into the bar, eyes searching for Jackie. But Jackie was gone. Vanished into the night as quickly as she’d appeared in that bathroom.
The bar was still alive with laughter and music. Shauna spotted Taissa by the jukebox, grabbed her arm, and muttered a quick, “I’m heading out. See you tomorrow.”
Before Taissa could protest, Shauna slipped into the street, the cool night air hitting her flushed skin. She scanned the sidewalk, hoping for one last glimpse of Jackie, but the crowd had already swallowed her.
A cab rolled by and Shauna flagged it down, sinking into the back seat and giving the driver her hotel’s address. Her phone buzzed as she pulled away, a new group chat notification from Taissa: ‘BAND: Don’t be late to rehearsal tomorrow, 10am sharp!’
Shauna smiled at the message, exhaustion and excitement warring in her chest as the city lights blurred past, the night’s possibilities still spinning in her mind. Shauna barely managed to kick off her shoes before collapsing onto her hotel bed, the city’s glow sneaking in through the curtains. She was halfway to sleep when her phone buzzed again, lighting up the dark room.
A new message flashed across the screen, from Jackie:
‘Never changed your number, Shipman? See you tomorrow.’
Shauna stared at the message, a slow smile creeping across her face. Whatever tomorrow brought, she knew sleep wouldn’t come easily...not with Jackie Taylor back in her life, and teasing her just like old times.