Chapter Text
Ring. Ring-ring. Ring.
Nicky moaned and shoved a pillow over his head. “G’way.”
“And here I thought you liked me.” The voice was pleasantly amused and soft but hoarse from the hours of screaming they’d done at the club the night before. A single finger traced up the back of Nicky’s neck and he reached back to grab it. “Not when you’re waking me up.”
The pillow disappeared from his head and Nicky yelped at the burning heat of light against his eyes. “Why did we set an alarm?”
At the sound of Erik’s laugh, Nicky rolled over and pressed a soft kiss to the nearest body part to his face, in this case the inside of his wrist.
“I am not that stupid, mein liebling. It’s a telephone call. Go answer whatever stupid American is bothering us.”
Nicky gave an exaggerated stumble as Erik pushed him out of bed, grabbing the cell phone on the dresser propped against the far wall of the tiny room.
“Hello?”
“Nicholas.”
A moment later, the phone was back on the dresser and Nicky’s ass was on the floor.
“Nicky? Nicky! Nicky, I need you to breathe. Babe, in and out, you are okay. You are in Germany. Can I touch you?”
Somehow, Nicky reenters his body long enough to nod. A moment later, Erik’s warm arms are wrapped across his chest, bracing him tightly.
They sit like that for a few minutes, Nicky rocking back and forth and keeping his fingers pressed to Erik’s pulse to steady himself as the panic vanishes in waves.
Finally, he feels the tension seeping out of him and he leans back, flopping into the bed. “I’m sorry.” He swallows, hard. “It was my father.”
“Miststück. I’m sorry.”
“I…I don’t know what he could want. He’s called me what, twice, since I got here? And those didn’t end well… what if he doesn’t want me to stay here? Or what if something happened, or—“
Erik’s hands covered his gently, and he pressed cool lips to Nicky’s temple. “Shh. Don’t torture yourself. Let it be. If it is important, he will call back, we will answer together, yes? If not, fuck him.”
They walked back to bed quietly, and moments later Erik was asleep, the warm bulk of his body soothing against Nicky’s clammy palms. What could his father want?
He couldn’t have figured out that Nicky was coming back to Germany as soon as possible after going back to South Carolina to pick up his stuff. Maybe he wanted to know if Nicky was going to college, had a plan for his future? Maybe they were moving?
No. It had to be about Tilda. His aunt was a fucking mess and now that she had two kids instead of one…well that wasn’t ending well. Aaron wasn’t a bad kid, not really. Just desperate and sad. If Nicky was a better person he would have tried to address his obvious addiction. But he didn’t have it in him to engage with the kid beyond what was required of him. And he’d never really met Andrew, not properly. He’d suspected that Andrew and Aaron had swapped to have conversations with him, but it didn’t really matter.
As his thoughts spiraled out of control, the ring of the phone added to the chaos. Erik was still holding it, and he pressed it into the bed next to Nicky’s head, waiting for his nod before pressing the answer button.
“Nico?” At the name, half of Nicky’s tension vanished. His mother was the only one who’d ever called him that, and only when his father wasn’t around. So she was calling alone. He could handle that.
“Nico, ¿estás ahí?”
“Ah, lo siento Mamí, me distraje. ¿Estás bien?”
“Tu padre llamó hace cinco minutos.”
“Estaba durmiendo, anoche me acosté tarde. Trabajando.”
He most definitely was not working but his mother didn’t need to know that.
“Nicholas, that was rude. Long distance calls are expensive, you know.”
He had to assume that his father was either in the room or on his way in. Taking a breath, he seized Erik’s hand in a plea for contact, silently begging for strength.
“It wasn’t even a minute Mamí. But I’m sorry.”
“We need to talk to you.”
“Is Dad with you?”
“I’m here. Nicholas, it was rude of you to—“
“Mom already told me, and I apologized. What’s wrong?”
He was being impudent and he knew it but couldn’t muster up the energy to care.
“Your Aunt Tilda is dead.”
That was certainly not what he was expecting. Nicky paused for a minute, unsure of what to say. For whatever reason, what comes out is, “How?”
“She was in a car accident. Aaron was in the car as well, but he received only minor injuries.”
“Jesus-“
“Do not take the Lord’s name in vain, Nicholas. We raised you better than that.”
God. He hated talking to them. Hated censoring himself, hated deepening his voice and regulating his speaking patterns, hated tying his mind up in knots trying to hold the simultaneous thoughts in his head.
A soothing sensation grounded him as Erik began massaging his hand, loosening his death grip on Erik’s left hand and wrist.
“The funeral will be in three days. Obviously we do not expect you to return for it, but we thought it prudent to inform you.”
“Um, thanks, I guess?”
There’s a lengthy pause as they all attempt to avoid this incredibly uncomfortable conversation, ended when a thought suddenly occurs to Nicky.
“What’s happening to the twins?”
“We will be adopting them, and caring for them until they reach 18.”
“No you’re fucking not.”
He clamped his hand over his mouth as soon as the words emerged. His father would kill him for that, why was he thinking, speaking with such disrespect?
“Nicholas. I assure you we will be kind and fair guardians to the boys.”
“You can’t possibly give them what they need.”
“And why exactly, is your genius plan? Your alternative?”
Nicky spoke without thinking, which was a regrettable habit of his. “I’ll adopt them, I don’t care.”
And his father. Fucking. Laughed.
“Nicholas, you cannot be serious. No one in their right mind would allow that.”
“The twins are old enough to make their own decisions, and I know they'd pick me. I’m coming home.”
His father just kept laughing as he said, “We’ll see about that. If you manage to make it to the funeral, we can discuss you moving back in with us and the boys.”
“I—“
“The funeral is in three days at noon in our church’s cemetery. If you’re so inclined to come.”
There was a distinct click as his father hung up.
Nicky could feel his heart hammering in chest as he turned to look up at Erik. “Erik, I–”
His voice cut off when he saw the devastating look of acceptance on his face. “We always knew you would leave, Nicky.”
“Erik, hang on a second–”
“I need a minute, okay? Let me get my parents to see what they can do.” He brushed past Nicky as he left the room, gently closing the door behind him.
Christ. He wasn’t good enough for Erik by half. He found out that Nicky, without hesitating, was ready to uproot their lives to care for two teenagers, one of whom he’s never met, and his reaction was to see what he needed. Well, he was clearly pissed off, but he had a right to be. He needed to…think, to process.
He had some savings. He’d worked all the time he was in Germany, and had done odd jobs around Colombia for as long as he could remember. It wasn’t enough to support 3 people easily, but with a good enough job, he could make it work. He had a high school diploma, no prospects and a random ass work history. Would the state even give him custody? He’d need to have a job before he made an appeal…although the twins were old enough they might be able to just choose? Aaron didn’t like Luther and from everything he’d heard about Andrew, the kid wouldn’t ever keep himself under the same roof as his father.
He needed to think. He needed a plane ticket. Money. He needed to talk to Erik he needed to talk to his mother he needed he needed–
“Nicky? Sweetheart?”
As Mrs. Klose walked into the room–Tante, she begged him to say–Nicky’s thought spiral cut off in a sob.
“Oh, Nicky…” She sat on the edge of the bed and opened her arms. Without hesitation, he dove into them, no longer able to contain his sobs. Her arms tightened around him in a comforting pressure as he felt tension easing out of his body. “I’m sor–”
“No. Don’t finish that sentence. You’ve done nothing wrong. Let it out, der Sohn.”
When Nicky was finally cried out, what felt like hours later, but was probably about 30 minutes, he and Mrs. Klose sat to have a more official recount of what happened. Without judgement or horror, she listened, nodded, and they began to formulate a plan. Nicky would fly home in two days. He’d pack with the intent of staying in Columbia, but if it went badly, would come back to Germany after the funeral. The Kloses would loan him the money for the down payment on a house big enough for three, and Nicky would pay them back–with interest, whether or not they chose to accept it– as soon as possible. His first stop in Columbia would be at a lawyer’s office, then to meet the twins.
As soon as this plan was formulated, Nicky went into overdrive, never stopping for long enough to reconsider this insane decision. He started packing, made lists of accounts to close and changes to make, did Internet research on US custody laws and did not think about Erik.
Hours later, Nicky startled upward from the sweaters he was folding at the prickling feeling of someone watching him.
Erik was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and eyes fixed on Nicky’s face. “My Nicky. Never doing anything by half.”
He was smiling a bit, which Nicky took as a good sign. “I’m sorry. I know this is shitty of me, but–”
“But nothing. You’re doing this because you’re good and kind and loving. You wouldn’t be my Nicky if you didn’t go.”
Nicky felt as if his heart was crumbling in his chest at the words. “Did you talk to your mom? We made a plan, and I–I think we could make this work.”
“No, but tell me about it.” Erik’s eyes were still big and sad and desperate and without thinking, Nicky walked over and hugged him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Come on.” As Erik melted into the hug, he led them to the bed, where Nicky explained the plan he’d made, and also the exact details of how he would make them work. Phone calls and letters and promises. When he got to the last step, he hesitated, but Erik urged him on.
“I–the twins are 15. I’ll be in the US for at least three years. Almost the amount of time you’ll be in school for. And I want to be with you, I do! If you do, I mean. But we’ll, uh, not be together. Physically. At least not very much. Well, I guess we–”
Erik laughed, the sound sweet enough to scramble Nicky’s brain even more than it already was. “Mein liebling. What are you trying to say?”
Nicky’s words came out in an uncomfortable rush. “If you want to, we could see other people? Not romantically! Or like, repeatedly. But uh, hookups? Or like one off dates? We’d still be together but like, sex is important, to both of us, I think, and it might be nice?” He groaned at how awful that had come out. “I’m just going to go die in a hole now.” He muttered dramatically as he face planted into a pillow.
“Whose hole?”
“Erik!”
A warm pressure appeared on Nicky’s back, and he felt a hand kneading his tight back muscles. He relaxed into the feeling but didn’t emerge from the pillow. Why had he even bothered bringing that up? It was far too much, too fast.
“It’s a good idea, Nicky. And it’s very kind. Let’s talk more later?”
Nicky nodded, still face down in the pillow.
“Right now… let’s make up for some lost time, hm?”
Nicky startled slightly at the prickle of Erik’s mouth against the crook of his neck. He looked over to see Erik staring up at him innocently, teeth slightly sunk into his skin.
With a smile, Nicky flipped them over and buried his hands in Erik’s hair.
If only this moment could last forever.
“I love you.” Nicky buried Erik in a bear hug, shoving his face into his shoulder, narrowly stopping himself from nuzzling into neck. They were still in public after all. He hugged Mr and Mrs Klause quickly, and then reached over and placed his hands on Erik’s shoulders. “Two years. We can do this.”
“Call me when you land.”
Erik’s eyes were welling up with tears as Nicky spoke, and he nodded once. Then, all at once, he quite literally sprinted away.
Nicky shook his head as he watched him leave. This was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever done. But when he thought about the twins, stuck with his parents and trapped when they needed help, there was just no question.
He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and walked into the gate. He might be going back, but his home would be waiting for him here.