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Yolanda loves control.
That's why she's a surgeon. The blade under her finger, slicing away into skin, that's control. She love's that 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨. The way she tells the interns what to do and not to do. That's control. The way she slicks her hair deliberately in a bun.The way she rearrange her living room, art on the right wall, family and friend photo's on the left with her bookshelf in the corner. The way she looks at Trinity when the girl is begging to touch her. That's control. Not really 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭, more like possession, or love. They haven't really touched that topic in therapy, but you get the gist of it.
That's why sitting infront of Miriam—the therapist—fiddling unconsciously with the thread on her jersey, while Miriam talks about Yolanda needing to lose control pisses her off.
"No."
"Yolanda, you can't keep everything under control, that's unhealt—"
"I can, and I will."
"No you can't."
Yolanda scoffs at that. Miriam raises her eyebrow challenging, and Yolanda shifts uncomfortably under her gaze, knowing that look. The look of 'you are so fucking wrong and I'll tell you why' , and she's already dreading what will come out of her therapist mouth.
"You say you can control everything, but that's how you lost Trinity the first time."
She inhales shakily at that.
She'll never forget the heavy feeling clawing its way out of her chest when Trinity ignored her after what happened on the 4th of July. Yolanda can admit—after two sessions in therapy, where Miriam laid everything out for her to see, to see the situation from Trinity's eyes—she was absolutely fucking wrong about how their conversation went. She should've been more supportive of Trinity, letting the girl communicate her feelings, not just on that day, but all the times she tried to talk about the Langdon situation when they had ramen in Trinity's messy but cute room. She realized she can't just have the easy parts of Trinity, and ignore the messy parts.
After that realization she went to Trinity's apartment and tried to apologise, but before any words left her mouth, the door was shut in her face. She was deeply humiliated after being chased away like a dog over and over again, but the feeling of losing Trinity forever overpowered everything else.
It took one drunk call—Yolanda having drank too much, trying to drown that feeling of losing Trinity and being disgusted at herself for treated the woman who had her heart since their first meet. She cried and begged Trinity to atleast have her as a friend if they can't be lovers and the R2 agreed, with conditions and boundaries.
After showing Trinity time and again, that she's in it for the long run, the girl gave her another chance. And till this day, they are going strong and Yolanda fucking loves Trinity.
"You don't own any plants because you can't control it, nor do you enjoy a glass of wine because you're scared—"
"Okay, I fucking get it!"
She shouts frustratingly and Miriam just nods her head with what looks like a smirk—fucking bastard.
"That's good, we're making progress then."
She rolls her eyes and clenches her jaw, pissed off because Miriam is right. She does love control, but she also needs to let go of it sometimes. That's harder than it sounds.
Her eyes flicker towards the clock above the therapist, relieved to see she only have one minute left of this session before she's free.
Of–fucking–course Miriam sees the motion.
"You might be free from me in one minute, but I'll be expecting some type of progression next session Yolanda."
She closes her notebook and sits it on the small table between them, gesturing with her hand towards the door and Yolanda almost got whiplash from how fast she stood up.
"Just know, I hated everything from this session, see you in three weeks."
Miriam let's out a chuckle and bids her farewell.
"Baby, she told me I should try to not be in control all the time. 𝘔𝘦 of all people!"
Yolanda throws her hands in exasperation, staring at her girlfriend while Trinity continues brushing her teeth.
"Mhm."
"It's not like I can just turn it off, y'know, but Miriam just gave me a look and it pissed me severely off."
"A look?", Trinity ask after wiping her mouth, and she turned towards Yolanda, giving her girlfriend all of her attention.
"Yes, that 'you know I can smell your bullshit from here' look. I swear to god a ella le gusta meterse debajo de mi piel."
𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯
Seeing Trinity's done in the bathroom, they move to the bedroom, Yolanda moving to the left side, Trinity to the right, and they get under the sheets, lamps still turned on.
"You are awfully quiet about this."
Trinity just stares at her girlfriend for a few moments before cradling her face, thumb gently rubbing her skin.
"I think Miriam is absolutely right."
Before Yolanda can say anything—by now Trinity knows her good enough to know she doesn't like when Trinity takes another person's side—Trinity begins to talk again.
"You love control, there's no denying it. And I do find it sexy, but mahal, sometimes I also just want to take care of you. I want to hold you when you feel sad, I want to be the reason you can't think straight when we fuck, and I just want you when you're not in control."
Yolanda stares lovingly at Trinity, can't believe how she hit the jackpot with her girlfriend being so fucking patient, loving, caring even after Yolanda fucked up.
She leans in and presses a soft, slow kiss to Trinity's lips, savouring it, and backs away, just enough to rest her forehead against Trinity's forehead.
With eyes still closed, she lets out a shaky exhale, knowing she's letting herself be vulnerable for Trinity. At the beginning it was hard, but now she knows Trinity will handle her vulnerability with the utmost care.
"That's all I've ever known, and I dunno how to just switch it off."
She whispers the confession, her breath sitting on Trinity's lips, and she opens her eyes to stare at her girlfriend.
Trinity looks at her as if she hung the stars in the sky, green eyes meeting brown eyes and for a few moments they just stare at each other.
"And that's okay baby, you don't have to let go of all of the control overnight. We can take baby steps, like buying a plant, or adopting an orange cat, those little fuckers don't like to be told what to do—", Yolanda lets out a chuckle at that,"—or me doing stuff you'd usually do, like rearranging that book shelf, or cleaning the garage. What I'm tryna say is, we don't have to make it a big thing, hmm?"
She thinks about it, raising a cat wouldn't be that bad of a thing, especially with her girlfriend.Or raising a plant, they only need water and sunlight. She doesn't like the thought of someone else rearranging her bookshelf, but it's Trinity, so she guess she wouldn't mind.
"Yeah, I'd like that." She whispers, and kisses Trinity again.
"We'll start tonight by you being the small spoon."
"Absolutely not."
"Any progress?"
Miriam with her glasses perched on top of her head stares expectantly at Yolanda and the latter rolls her eyes, smoothing out the wrinkles on her shirt—actually Trinity's band t-shirt she hastily took this morning after sleeping through all three alarms, since Trinity decided last night to see how many times she could make Yolanda come.
"Yes."
"I'm not going to beg you to tell me about it."
Yolanda smacks her lips against her teeth, annoyed at Miriam already knowing her well enough to not play her games.
"You're no fun."
"I get paid to help you, not to be fun." , Miriam says with a deadpan expression.
"Well I—we actually got a plant. Named it Plantfredo, almost like Alfredo but with plant, one of Trinity's doings. We water it, give it sunlight, and Trinity forces me to speak or sing to it,—", Miriam looks amused at that but Yolanda ignored it,"—and I let her take care of me after a long, difficult day."
She almost whispers the last part.
There had been an accident on the bridge, nine people injured, five people in desperate need of surgery. Her day was already fucked before the accident, with her and Trinity arguing about a stupid fucking thing, Trinity leaving her boxers on the ground next to the laundry basket instead of inside it, and that morning was the first in nine months Trinity didn't give her a good morning kiss.
She left without Trinity—she had a day off—and fumed on the way to the hospital. After about an half an hour Trinity apologized over message, but Yolanda hadn't have time to check her phone, since everyone decided to get hurt that day.
When she finally got home, she realised Trinity was nowhere to be found, and began to panic. She send several messages but none of them went through, and then she called several times but Trinity's phone was turned off.
She went to her bookshelf and begin to rearrange it from alphabetical order to colour order. Control. That's the only thing she can control right now. When the front door opened, Yolanda's heart lurched out of her chest and in three steps she was infront of Trinity.
"So sorry, my phone fell in fucking water and I wanted to get your favourite since I saw there was an accident—"
Trinity finally looks up from taking off her shoes and pauses.
"Yola, are you okay?"
Yolanda swallowed the lump in her throat and just nodded, too tired to say anything.
"Are you sure?", Trinity ask with corncern swimming in her eyes. Yolanda just nods again, and points to the bookshelve.
"I'll be there if you need me." Voice monotonous, and she gives Trinity a peck before leaving.
She must've zoned out for sometime because suddenly Trinity's arms slide around her waist, and she rest her chin on Yolanda's shoulder.
"I'm sorry about this morning.", When Yolanda says nothing, Trinity continues.
"I dunno why I argued because I'm absolutely wrong for throwing my boxers next to the laundry basket instead of in it. I'm such a fucking idiot."
Trinity gives a self deprecating chuckle and Yolanda shakes her head.
"Hey, be nicer to yourself. You were wrong but you're not an idiot."
She interlaced her hands with Trinity's that sits on her stomach, and leans back, sinking into her girlfriend and releases a relieved sigh.
"I'm an idiot for not kissing you this morning—", Trinity whispers in her shoulder and Yolanda agrees with a hum, still devastated at not getting her morning kiss,"—I felt like shit when you walked out the door and when I finally realised, you were already gone."
"Yeah, I was pretty fucking angry, but afterwards just felt sad at that."
Yolanda confesses, and she felt Trinity hugging her tightly, almost as if she's conveying the words 'I'm sorry' through her hug.
"I'm so fucking sorry, baby, that shit will never happen again."
Hearing how guilty Trinity feels, Yolanda steer the conversation to something lighter, already thankful Trinity apologized for this morning.
"Never is a strong word, cariño.", She teases and Trinity lets out a huff.
"Well even if you do that weird shit with the avocado, I'll never not give you a morning kiss."
"Even if I let the light on in the mornings while you still sleep?"
"Now you're pushing it woman."
Yolanda lets out a hearty laugh at that, and Trinity places a soft kiss under her ear, whispering the words '𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶' in tagalog. She whispers '𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘰' in spanish.
After that, Trinity ran her a bath, dished up the takeaway she got, and massaged all the stiff muscles and knots on Yolanda. Before she knew, she was out like a light.
"When you said there was progress, I didn't expect much, but this, Yolanda, this is amazing. I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm proud of you."
Heat creeps up her neck from the woman's words, but she acts nonchalant, just nodding her head while Miriam smiles at her.
"Well since we've made progress, can I ask you another question?"
"You get paid to ask questions." Trinity's sarcastic comments are rubbing off on her.
Miriam just rolls her eyes, and sits her notebook on the table, giving Yolanda her full attention.
"We've already established you love control, but how are you navigating your sex life when it comes to slowly letting go of control?"
Yolanda knew her sex life would eventually pop up in one of these sessions. Before meeting Trinity, she used sex as a tool of control. She controlled who she fucked, when she fucked and how she fucked. But after Trinity, those urges faded, but did not disappear. Not the urge to fuck other people, rather the urge to control how she makes love to Trinity and how Trinity makes love to her.
"It's been good—great even.", Yolanda lies through her teeth and she knows she's caught when Miriam looks up at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Hmm."
"No, it's actually true, we've been managing."
"You're lying."
Yolanda lets out a frustrated sigh, "Yes, I am."
"Trin, do you think I'm to controlling in bed?"
Trinity sits on the couch, medical journal in one hand while holding a steaming cup of coffee Yolanda made, in the other hand, and looks up at her girlfriend.
"Not really, I guess."
That's not the answer Yolanda expected. Yes, she knows she likes to be in control, but she thought Trinity also liked it. Her expression swims through various emotions before landing on carefully confused. She walks towards the couch, and sits at the other end to stare at Trinity.
"What do you mean 'not really'? You should tell me if I've ever made you feel like your not in control—"
She rambles, mind a million miles away, thinking about all the possible encounters she could've made Trinity feel out of control, but before she can think too deep, Trinity crawls over to her, and interlaced their fingers.
"Baby, Yolanda, if I ever felt uncomfortable, don't you think I'll let you know when somethings bothering me?"
Yolanda just gives her a look and Trinity sighs.
"Okay, yeah, I don't always communicate my feelings, but seriously, I don't mind you in control. Just sometimes I wish to make you feel the way I feel, when I lose myself to you."
She rubs her thumbs over Trinity's ring on her middle finger, relaxing at how familiar it feels to feel the rough texture under her thumb.
"Why didn't you just tell me though?" She ends up saying after staying quiet for a few seconds.
Trinity just shrugs her shoulders, and Yolanda doesn't understand why there's a heavy feeling lodged inside of her chest at the motion.
"Is it—cause you don't trust me?", Her voice breaks at the question, and Trinity furiously shakes her head, squeezing Yolanda's hands in hers.
"What, no! Yolanda, I absolutely trust you with my whole life, I just honestly don't know why I didn't tell you."
She nods at that, not fully believing her, but trusting Trinity's speaking the truth. Trinity must have seen something on her face because the woman cradles it, forehead to forehead and whispers.
"Yola, I love you and trust you, and I love our sex life, okay?"
Instead of answering she press a kiss to Trinity's mouth, loving how the girl is always ready to accept it.
"Yeah, and I love you too, bebé."
For a moment they just sit there, soaking up each other's presence, listening to the birds chirping outside, and far along in the neighborhood, someone mowing their grass. Yolanda thinks of what Trinity would do if she gives up her control. She knows realistically Trinity would never play with her vulnerability like that, but past situations—like first girlfriend having sex with her, and immediately telling her to go after she orgasmed. That fucked Yolanda up, since the girl broke up with her the next day, and it felt like she made herself vulnerable just for someone to disregard her like that. Trinity knows of the story, knows the real reason she likes to be control in bed. And she never forced Yolanda to give up that control, but maybe that's what she needs right now.
"What's something you'd like to do to me?"
"We really don't have to do this if you don't want to.", Trinity reassures her but Yolanda doesn't want that, she wants Trinity to be honest with her right now.
"Baby, I want to know, so please just tell me.", She pleads softly, and she can see Trinity giving up whatever restraint she had.
"Well if we do this, you won't really be in control, y'know—"
"Trinity."
"And we're still doing babysteps, like looking after Plantfredo—"
"Trinity."
"Okay. It's cockwarming, or rather—", Trinity has gone red in the face, cheeks sporting a rose tinted blush till down her neck, and she fiddles with Yolanda's fingers, "—strapwarming."
𝘏𝘶𝘩
Yolanda has never thought of that. Maybe Trinity outfreaks her. She huffs at that thought and Trinity looks up at her through her lashes, making Yolanda want to grab her face and smash their lips togther.
"Okay.", She ends up saying.
Trinity almost broke her neck when she whipped her head towards Yolanda. She stares at her incredulously and swallows.
"Wait, just like that?! I thought I'd need to convince you more."
"No baby, I'm willing to try it."
Trinity stares at her lovingly before smashing their lips together, tongues swirling against each other, and Yolanda feels the heat bloom at her stomach. Trinity pulls back and whispers a 'coming now' , and before Yolanda can blink, her girlfriend is already in their room.
When she said she's willing to try, she didn't mean that instant. She hears Trinity rummaging in their drawer, and her mind dwells to her slowly giving up control. The process is hell, Yolanda won't lie, but Trinity has made it bearable. She takes control of small things like driving them to work, or buying them coffee at that café across the hospital, and Yolanda will only realise it when the coffee's already in her hand, or when she walks to the passenger seat instead of the driver's seat. Miriam said she's happy with her progress, and she didn't even give the woman a snarky remark, because she's also happy for herself. Happy because she's slowly but surely breaking through her destructive ways, and happy that it made her a better daughter, friend and girlfriend.
Her thoughts are interrupted by Trinity coming out with the strap on her hips, tshirt still on and strap above her boxers, and she gave Yolanda a cheeky smirk. Trinity flops the dildo side to side, dancing like a male bird trying to seduce the female bird, and Yolanda internally snorts, because yeah, she's really dating a dork. And she loves her so much.
Wanting to tease her girlfriend, she stands up and tells her to 'come here' with her finger, and Yolanda pushes Trinity on the couch.
She stares down at her girlfriend, noticing the red flush on her cheeks and how dark her eyes turned when she looks Yolanda up and down. Her eyes traces Trinity's body, from her toned arms gripping the couch in anticipation, to her milky white thighs begging to be marked.
Trinity grabs Yolanda's hips, and starts to place soft kisses on her stomach, all while making eye contact.
"Who said I wanted to do it right now?"
The kisses stop on her stomach, and Yolanda sees the colour draining from Trinity's face. Trinity abruptly sits back against the couch and tries to apologise—hands making all kinds of gestures—and Yolanda spares her girlfriend an aneurysm.
"I'm just fucking with you cariño."
She lets out a little chuckle at seeing Trinity, and the latter slaps her ass—Yolanda didn't expect it, but it's not unwelcome—and pulls Yolanda near her.
"Fuck you, dude. I thought—you—", Trinity makes a tsk sound and before she can speak, Yolanda leans down and kisses her.
The first kiss is the softest, just lips brushing before Trinity lightly sucks on her bottom lip and warmth spreaded through her veins, making her feel a little lightheaded. Yolanda tilts Trinity's head, the latters lips parting, and she lighty brushes her tongue in Trinity's mouth. Her girlfriend responds by kneading her ass.
Still uncomfortably leaning down to kiss Trinity, Yolanda climbs in her lap, and throws her arms around Trinity's neck to bring her near, wanting their bodies to be as close as possible.
The living room is filled with wet, squelching kissing noises, a moan or a whimper slipping out of a mouth and inhaled into another, warm tongues tasting each other, sucking one another and wondering hands gripping, squeezing, claiming each other.
After a while, they both part—forehead against each other while inhaling and exhaling each other's breath—and Yolanda places one more kiss on Trinity's lips before sitting up straight in the girl's lap.
"Before we do this, we need to have rules or boundaries."
Trinity just nods and stares at Yolanda's lips, still dazed from their makeout.
"Trinity, I'm serious, so listen."
Finally snapping out of the daze, Trinity lifts her hand to tuck a loose hair strand—fell down her face when Trinity threaded her hands in Yolanda's hair to tuck and pull it while they were making out—behind Yolanda's ear.
"I'm always, giliw."
"Sweet talker." Yolanda rolls her eyes and feels a blush coating her cheeks.
Trinity just leans up to place a peck on her lips, and she rubs her nose on Yolanda's, whispering a love confession in tagalog—she knows it's a love confession, because the word 'mahal' and 'pag-irog' leaves her lips.
They kiss one more time, whereas before it was full of lust, this one is gentle, conveying the words 'i love you' through the softness of their lips.
"Okay—okay let's go back to the rules."
Trinity pulls away, licks the remnant of their kiss from her lips, and nods her head.
"First things first, if I feel uncomfortable, we'll stop."
"Of course, mahal."
"Secondly, this has to happen in thirty–forty minutes tops. Y'know how sensitive I get from the strap."
"Okay."
Trinity rubs comforting circles on her waist and Yolanda plays with the baby hair on her nape.
"Anything you wanna add?"
Trinity thinks for a minute before answering.
"We need to have a safe word, like banana or some shit."
"What the fuck is it with you and food. First it was alfredo, now banana, do you like, have a —", Yolanda leans forward,"—food kink."
"Yes, Yolanda. I wish for you to fuck me with a fucking cabbage."
Trinity deadpans and three seconds go by before they burst out laughing.
"Cabbage could work, it sounds very unflattering."
"You sure you still wanna do it?"
Trinity checks up on her and Yolanda's heart melts at it.
"Yes, so let's start."
Trinity answers by roughly kissing her, licking into her mouth, hands squeezing her hips and Yolanda feels a low burning sensation in her stomach, making it hard to breathe. Her hips begins to grind, and Trinity controls the movement with her hand on Yolanda's ass.
Her mouth descends to Yolanda's neck and roughly sucks it, making her buck her hips. She lets out a breathy whine, rocking her hips on the length of the dildo and Trinity squeezes her tit, with the hand that's not on her ass, and rolls her nipple.
Yolanda loves how Trinity knows all her ticks, how she knows a certain spot on her neck will make her panties flood, or how the roughness makes Yolanda's clit throb.
They take off Yolanda's shirt, and Trinity's mouth is already on her tits, greedily sucking and squeezing it, making Yolanda let out a high pitched whine.
"Trin—fuck, keep going."
She whispers through a ragged breath, and Trinity moans on her tit, the vibrations hitting her fair and square in the clit.
"Baby, take off your shorts, but keep on your panties."
Yolanda does as she's asked, finding it hard to concentrate when Trinity squeezes the lube on her hand, and begins to slowly jerk off while watching Yolanda with dark, wanton eyes.
When she sits back on Trinity's lap, the dildo sits between her cunt and Trinity's stomach. She tries to move, get friction against her clit, just do anything to help with the desire, but Trinity just stops her hips and whispers 'don't' in her ear.
She unconsciously begins to roll her hips, attention on Trinity leaving bite marks on her neck, when she felt a slap land on her ass. She let's out a whimper, gripping Trinity's shoulder's hard at the action.
"Don't do it again, Yolanda."
Trinity warns her, and lands another slap, just because she can.
"Fuck you, Trinity."
She says through clenched teeth, trying very hard not to move her hips.
Trinity replies by pinching her clit, making Yolanda let out a loud moan, her eyes rolling backwards, hips bucking and Trinity gives her another slap on the ass.
"You and your filthy fucking mouth."
Yolanda moans at that. Never would she have thought she'd like it if someone talks to her like that, but the way Trinity says it, words harsh out of her mouth, but her eyes full of love, adoration, makes Yolanda want to tell her 'i love you' again and again.
Trinity taps her thigh twice, signaling her to sit up and when she does, she sees how her wetness is spread on the dildo and Trinity's stomach. The sight makes her clench around nothing, and she grips the couch behind Trinity to stabilize herself.
Trinity rubs the dildo above her panty, slapping her clit a few times—Yolanda's jerking forward, chasing the feeling while moaning and looking at Trinity through hooded eyes—and she pushes the tip to Yolanda's entrance, the panty being the barrier between her cunt being stretched out.
Having mercy on her girlfriend, Trinity slides her panty out of the way and rubs the dildo on her lips and exposed clit, making Yolanda's knees weak. She dips the tip in her entrance and Yolanda tries to sit down on it. By the third time, she's almost successful at taking more than the tip when she felt a slap on her clit. This time, her legs gave in and she fell forward onto Trinity.
"If you really want it, ask for it, baby."
Trinity whispers softly into her ear, and Yolanda sucks in a much needed breath, dignity already out the door when Trinity came to her with the strap on.
"Please, Trinity, haré cualquier cosa, solo ponlo."
𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯.
Trinity lines the tip with the clenching cunt, and Yolanda sinks down, eyes rolling backwards and mouth in an o shape, the only thing coming out is a choked whimper.
"Fuck, baby, I wish you could see yourself. Beautiful, just fucking beautiful, the way you take me."
Trinity sounds in awe and Yolanda grabs her hand, interlacing their fingers and sinks fully on the dildo. When she reaches the base, she let's out a breath she didn't know she held. They just sit there, forehead to forehead, Trinity rubbing her hands across Yolanda's back, while the latter gets use to the stretch.
Trinity wanted to tease her girlfriend by reading her medical journal while the woman, whimpered, rocked her hips, and begged Trinity for relieve, but instead she places gentle kisses all over her face, praising her, telling her how good she's taking her, how much she loves her, how breathtakingly beautiful she is. Trinity rocks her hips in a slow movement, and kisses Yolanda deeply, the other woman's toes curling at the hot, vibrating feeling beginning in her stomach, and all it takes is a few slowly rubbing on her clit, soft kisses and even softer praises, and a slow but deep rocking, before she comes undone above Trinity.
The hot coil snapped in her stomach and flowed through her whole body, making Yolanda slump into Trinity's arms, legs shaking, and the other woman happily catching her.
Yolanda tucks her face in Trinity's neck while the latter holds her tightly, loving how her body immediately relaxes at the familiar scent, and before she knows it, tears flow down her cheeks.
She pulls back, looking at Trinity, before kissing her.
They kiss like it's their last night on earth, not rough, but also not gentle. Mouths stealing each other's oxygen, tongues exploring each other's mouths, and Yolanda and Trinity still felt as if they're not close enough.
When they ran low on oxygen, they parted reluctantly, and Trinity, she grabbed Yolanda's chin and licked her tears from her cheeks. The action made her clench around the dildo, and Trinity smirked at that.
"You okay, baby?"
Yolanda lets out a tired smirk.
"Best fucking sex, ever."
"I can see that."
Trinity's eyes glanced between their bodies and Yolanda sees that everything is wet. The dildo, Trinity's stomach, their legs, and a little bit on the couch.
"Did I just...?
"Hell fucking yeah, you did.", Trinity says cockily.
"So besides that, we've tried more stuff and I actually enjoy it."
Miriam writes something down and Yolanda taps her foot lighty on the ground, shy at talking about her sex life with Trinity. She never felt shy telling her friends about her sexual experiences, but with Trinity it's different. She wants the experiences for herself, all the intimate moments they share, only for her eyes and ears.
"How did that moment make you feel?"
"It made me feel really fucking good. I was at her mercy, and she took really good care of me, didn't make me feel cornered or anything. And it made me realize that not always being in control isn't all that bad."
Miriam looks at her with a soft smile, and Yolanda scoffs loudly, not in the mood for her therapist to be sentimental.
"Ha ah, stop that shit."
"I literally did nothing, Yolanda."
"You were on the verge of saying something sappy like 'I'm proud of you'."
Miriam just rolls her eyes and takes a sip from her water bottle, before directing a question towards Yolanda.
"Except for you enjoying giving up control in the bed, did something else happened?"
Yolanda acts as if she's confused, but deep down she's been on the verge of exploding from keeping it from Miriam.
At the beginning she didn't like the woman, she judged her before she could even utter a word and Miriam clocked that. Instead of bowing down to her, like everyone else normally does, Miriam matched her energy. If she said fuck you, Miriam said it back, but professionally. If she tries to withhold information, Miriam doesn't beg her, she waits it out or tells her, she's wasting both of their times and money with Yolanda acting like a child.
Yolanda hated it at first , still hates its, but Trinity found it amusing. She almost broke up with her when she agreed with Miriam on something she knows now she was absolutely in the wrong.
In a way, Miriam saw all the versions of her, as she should since she's a therapist. She'd seen Yolanda happy, she'd seen her cry, she'd seen her angry, she'd seen her broken. She was there when Trinity gave up on her, saw her at her lowest, and now she's seeing her at her highest, at her happiest. They're come a long way, and Yolanda appreciate it, she'll just never verbalise it.
"What do you think?"
She asks playfully and Miriam gives her a deadpan look.
"Oh, look at you taking over my job, asking questions instead of answering them."
"Do you always act like a bitch?"
"Yes, now answer the question, Yolanda."
They tested another boundary of Yolanda. Getting shitfaced in a shitty bar.
Trinity didn't drink, promising Yolanda she wants to take care of her, and Yolanda trusted her. When she began to feel tipsy, the world a step slower than usual, her ears coating a blush from the alcohol, she almost gave up.
Scared at not having control.
Trinity gave her a pep talk, telling her if she didn't want to do it, they could just enjoy their evening, and if she wanted, she'll make sure Yolanda is taken care of, and not embarrassing herself.
After that she took three shots back to back, it working like lighting, and she and Trinity danced—more like grinded on the dance floor—mouths on each other, hands eagerly exploring each other, and they moved to the bathroom, Trinity staring up at her, mouth wet from her slick, and Yolanda moaned.
After that, she downed a couple of beers before Trinity decided she had enough.
Yolanda was so fucking drunk she couldn't walk, so Trinity gave her a piggyback. They walked the streets, Yolanda mumbling and Trinity understanding every word being said.
"I love you sooooo much, like I might atually...? Atually..?"
"Actually, baby."
"Yes that word, uhm, what was I trying to say?"
Her voice slurred, words muffled against Trinity's neck, but the latter could hear clearly.
"You said you love me so much, you might actually..."
"I might actually cry."
Trinity gives a chuckle, the laugh rumbling against Yolanda's chest and her heart beats erratically at that. She loves Trinity so much. Can't—refuse to see a future without her. She loves the way Trinity looks when she wakes up—hair everywhere, lips swollen and eyes as green as grass. She always refuses to kiss Yolanda in the mornings because of morning breath, but Yolanda still steals a kiss every morning.
She loves how Trinity gets excited whenever Yolanda buys her a dumb fucking tshirt like 'Human by day, alpha by night'. She loves how the girl forces them both to have a difficult conversation, when they both would rather run away. She loves the way Trinity would say she buys stale snacks, but still munches on them. She loves the way Trinity tells everyone who would listen, about her. She loves the way Trinity touches her. She loves the way Trinity makes her feel. She loves the way she's very vocal about loving her.
She just loves her with all her heart.
"I'm gonna marry you one day, cariño."
The confession lands in the middle of a quiet street and Yolanda doesn't realise Trinity's steps falters.
"And we're gonna make alot of lady babies on our honeymoon."
Regaining her thought process, Trinity begins to walk again, this time with a larger than life smile sitting on her face.
"Yeah, and who will have whose surname?"
She asks Yolanda, and the latter, begins to explain with excitement brimming out of her.
"I've been thinking, Trinity Garcia sounds sexy, but Yolanda Santos sounds even sexier. Since I'll have a part of you with me. But we can hyphen it, Garcia-Santos, or Santos-Garcia. I think Santos-Garcia has a ring to it."
Giving a dopey smile, she places a kiss on Trinity's neck while the other woman still piggyback's her down the street.
"You've been thinking about this?"
Trinity rather ask, and since the alcohol has lowered her inhibitions, she spills out her heart to Trinity.
"Hmm. That morning you danced and sang in the kitchen, making us eggs and avo, I realised I want this forever. I want to marry you, one day."
Trinity let's out a shaky exhale at the confession.
"Not today tho."
Trinity laughs at that, and Yolanda smiles in her neck, liking the feeling of Trinity's laugh lodging itself in her ribs.
For a few moments they enjoyed the quietness, Trinity stopping at a light pole to catch her breath, and Yolanda giving her a kiss for motivation.
When they passed by the dark alley near their apartment, they hear a desperate animalistic whine.
Trinity paused, and for the first time in a while, Yolanda lifted her head. They stood there for a few moments till the sound repeated.
"Let's check it out."
Yolanda says and climbing down Trinity's back, feeling okay to use her own legs, and she almost got whiplash from Trinity turning to look at her.
"You're definitely dying first in a horror movie."
Yolanda didn't mind her words, legs already moving towards the sound, for some reason she just has the urge to look at what's making that noise.
"Yolanda what the fuck?!"
Before Trinity can grab her wrist, Yolanda let's out an 'aww' sound.
A wet puppy stares back at them with wide beautiful eyes, black and white fur, with unusually big paws and Yolanda has the urge to keep him.
"Trinity."
"No"
"But Trinity."
"Yolanda, no."
"Mi amor.."
"Now, Peanut and Trinity are inseparable, always cuddling without me, I'm not evens gonna lie, I'm jealous."
Yolanda shakes her head at the memory, remembering how easily Trinity folded and grew to love their dog.
"Let me guess, Trinity named him."
Miriam asked with a knowing smile on her face and Yolanda threw her hands up in exasperation.
"I told her she had a fetish for naming everything after food!"
They share a small laugh, before it slowly fades. The atmosphere is comfortable, making Yolanda wanting to spill all her feelings and for some reason, she doesn't mind.
"So, you guys are talking about weddings?"
Before Yolanda can reply, the alarm on her phone goes off, and she shows it to Miriam, the therapist making a midly offended face.
"Guess you'll have to wait for our next session."