Work Text:
Attack on Titan - Wild Horse
—————— 01 ——————
Whenever Levi fixed his gaze on the distant horizon, his hand would unconsciously drift to the warhorse beside him, fingers combing through its mane or resting against the top of its head.
The old companion who had stayed with him for so many years was still imposing in stature. Its body blocked the sinking sunlight, casting a dark gray shadow over the earth. Its coat was black as ink, glossy and clean, the long mane falling heavily along its shoulders. In its eyes shimmered a strange intelligence, something almost mournful, as it stared into the unknown beyond the horizon.
Slowly, Levi loosened the reins wrapped around the horse’s neck.
Its gaze remained calm and steady, and that still surprised him sometimes. After all, this was once the horse infamous for its impossible speed and untamable temper.
Levi gave the reins a gentle tug, urging it forward experimentally, but the horse did not move. Its mane stirred lightly in the wind, its breathing slow and even.
The warhorse stood there quietly for a long while, still watching him with patient eyes, waiting for his command.
Levi let out a quiet sigh and tied the reins back in place.
This was the thousandth attempt.
—————— 02 ——————
The creatures that roamed the vast borderlands of Paradis Island had always been wild by nature.
Their coats were dark as midnight, their posture proud, their bodies built for endless strength and speed.
During one hunter’s raid, many wild horses were captured and sold into the stables of a nobleman near the border. Though the stables housed countless horses, some of the wild ones remained arrogant and feral, refusing to be broken.
In the year 843, the Survey Corps began gathering both soldiers and horses.
And so those creatures born for freedom became reserve warhorses for the Corps, still untamed, tied year-round inside cramped stables.
“…Shit! Damn scammer. What the hell are we supposed to do with a horse this vicious?”
“Seriously. Bad luck. Forget getting eaten by Titans, we’ll get thrown off and die first.”
Before long, strange punishments began circulating around the barracks. Whoever lost at rock-paper-scissors had to sneak out and try riding the beast while the instructors weren’t looking. The cruelest punishment of all was being tossed into the wild horse’s stable overnight. By morning, the unlucky victim would always come out bruised purple and blue.
And in the end, the one assigned to care for the difficult black horse was that thug from the Underground.
After all, the short bastard with crossed arms, a permanent scowl, and two lackeys following behind him like he owned the place annoyed everyone already.
The first time Levi met the horse, the massive black beast reared onto its hind legs with a shrill scream, showering him in dirt.
“…You filthy animal. Dirty my clothes again and I’ll kick your ass.”
When it raised its front legs, it stood twice his height.
—————— 03 ——————
Back then, Levi sometimes wondered whether people with nothing were truly worthless.
Tch.
Maybe not.
Not everything untamed was a bad thing, not in that filthy, rotten world they’d crawled out of.
At least, that was what Levi thought now.
But for the thug he used to be, survival came first. Taming the vicious beast beneath him mattered more than anything else.
He no longer remembered how many times he had fought that damned black horse, but strangely enough, he enjoyed every second of it. Back then, Levi had been reckless and arrogant. He would tilt his head slightly, yank the reins tighter, and while the horse bucked violently beneath him, he’d kick it hard and bring the whip down again.
Even now, Levi still remembered the horse’s hoarse scream toward the sky.
It was the sound of freedom. Of raw instinct and desire.
After it was finally broken, Levi never heard that sound from it again, not even on the cruelest battlefields.
What remained etched most deeply in his memory was the sight of the horse rearing upward, front legs suspended against the sky. Its mane rose like a black waterfall in motion, murderous fury burning inside its eyes.
Back then, it had looked as though it were declaring its pride and savagery to the entire world.
But now, those same eyes held only weariness. And something close to sorrow.
Sometimes Levi missed the horse it used to be.
Sometimes he wondered whether the horse missed the Levi he used to be.
—————— 04 ——————
Whenever Levi thought about Farlan, he always thought about horses.
And about the fist bump they never managed to complete.
Farlan’s horse had been a dark chestnut wild horse. It too had come from the endless borderlands, but unlike Levi’s mount, it lacked that violent aggression. It was simply stubborn. Stubborn enough to hate reins and stable walls with equal intensity.
The moment Farlan loosened his grip, the horse would bolt toward the endless horizon.
That animal seemed obsessed with freedom. Even when it earned nothing but lashes for trying, it never stopped trying.
Farlan treated the horse with an odd sort of respect. Unless absolutely necessary, he avoided force. Instead, he relied on patience and gentleness.
Every day he spent time beside it, brushing its coat, training it slowly, letting it grow familiar with human hands and the demands of battle. Somehow, within only a few days, understanding began to form between them.
…
“Farlan, your pathetic little horse is obedient as hell.”
“It’s got talent. I’ve been training him.”
“Then let’s test it.”
Levi gestured outside with the same look he used before a street fight.
“No way. That’s dangerous.”
“Tch. How the hell would you know if it’s really a wild horse if you never try? C’mon.”
…
By then they were no longer boys.
So why had Levi suddenly become so spirited again? Wanting to race horses like some Underground delinquent…
And yet, when even Farlan, the calm and careful one, finally agreed to the ridiculous idea, he found himself startled too.
Because after spending their whole lives underground, they both knew the world would never become fair.
And yet somehow, on that day, sitting beneath an open sky with wild horses beneath them, freedom suddenly felt real enough to touch.
For one brief moment, the wild horses inside both of them slipped free of their reins.
Within the sea of fog came the sharp arcs of flying hooves and the cries of horses rising and falling through the mist.
It was not truly a fight.
It was a contest of speed and precision, a storm of impossible movements performed in rapid succession.
And for the first time in years, a trace of arrogance surfaced in Farlan’s calm expression. The way he looked at Levi resembled those old days in the Underground, when he used to lean against narrow alley walls and watch Levi throw punches at men twice his size.
Levi’s gray-blue eyes gleamed brightly beneath the fog. The fierce pride that still lingered within him was something perhaps only Farlan and Isabel had ever seen. He cracked the dark whip sharply through the air, and for a single second, every burden weighing upon him seemed to lose its gravity.
Farlan thought then that not even the thick fog could erase the light inside Levi’s eyes.
Part gang leader.
Part older brother.
Part reckless boy.
It was something uniquely his. Something that would never disappear.
That wildness from the Underground, half righteous, half dangerous, proud and sharp with effortless confidence, felt as though it could shatter every chain the world tried to force upon him.
If Levi could stay like this forever—
reckless, proud, untamed—
then maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.
—————— 05 ——————
“Tch. Told you not to pick that dead-eyed piece of garbage. See? Your horse isn’t a wild horse at all.”
Levi lifted his chin arrogantly, cold eyes gleaming as the last traces of youth spilled recklessly from his grin.
“It started faster than yours, didn’t it?” Farlan laughed, slowing his horse back near the starting point. “Heh. Next time you might not win.”
“Tch…!”
Levi yanked the reins tight and charged toward him through the thick white fog.
In the next instant, the black horse leapt high into the air, soaring past the place where Farlan and the chestnut horse stood waiting.
Only then did Levi notice Farlan extending his left fist toward him.
A fist bump.
Levi lifted his own right hand instinctively, trying to meet it—but the black horse moved too quickly. Before he could react, he had already flown far beyond him.
For the first time in a long while, Levi looked almost flustered.
Yet his expression never changed. He jerked hard on the reins, forcing the horse to stop, though he still landed several lengths away.
When he looked back, Farlan was still standing there watching him.
“Nice one!”
The fist Farlan had held out had already turned into a raised thumbs-up.
…
“Levi,” Farlan said suddenly as he fastened the reins and tied the chestnut horse back inside the stable, leaning lazily against the wooden wall while pale sunlight filtered through the fog, “why do you think your horse’s temper is so vicious?”
“Maybe because it used to have nothing,” Levi answered.
“When you’ve got nothing tying you down, being restrained feels like eating shit.”
“It’s starting to get used to you,” Farlan said quietly.
“Hah. Before we finish retrieving those documents, I’m definitely gonna tame this bastard. Pain’s the best discipline there is.”
...
What Levi did not know then—
was that he would have all the time in the world.
And that Farlan had learned to tame horses so quickly only because God, in His cruelty, had chosen to show him a final act of mercy.
—————— 06 ——————
Children from the Underground were always fascinated by certain things.
Like the sky.
Farlan and Isabel loved leaning against windows or resting on crumbling walls, staring blankly at the drifting clouds above.
Levi showed it less openly.
He preferred enjoying those moments alone.
But beneath all that stubborn pride, he too feared losing his way in a world this vast.
...
“Tomorrow’s gonna be good weather,” Farlan murmured one evening while watching the heavy fog slowly dissolve beyond the horizon.
But children from the Underground did not know that when fog lingered after too many clear days—
rain always followed.
And after that rain, Farlan and Isabel never came back.
Levi no longer needed to retrieve any documents after that.
Nor did he ever return to the lightless depths underground.
Instead, he made his choice without regret.
He put on the blue-and-white Wings of Freedom and lived on in their place, seeing the sky for them.
...
But even now, Levi still regretted that failed fist bump.
Because afterward, there was never another chance to finish it.
And so in Levi’s dreams, he and Farlan ride wild horses together over and over again, their fists finally colliding at last.
Again and again.
Thousands upon thousands of times.
Only much later did Levi finally understand: missing something by a single instant could resemble an entire lifetime.
Some sights are unbearably beautiful for only a moment. And by the time people realize it, they are already gone forever.
Once a wild horse breaks free of its reins, if there is no road behind it, then there is no turning back.
Perhaps “a choice without regret” simply means
a choice one can no longer regret.
—————— 07 ——————
The titles people used for Levi changed throughout the years.
From “Big Brother,”
to “Captain Levi,”
to “Mr. Ackerman.”
And the wild horse,
became a warhorse,
then eventually,
an old horse.
Sometimes, while brushing its coat, Levi would suddenly realize that it was aging just as quickly as he was.
Once, it had been a fierce untamed creature, arrogant enough to look down upon the world itself.
Once, it had run like a storm across battlefields as the mount of humanity’s strongest soldier.
Now its mane had turned sparse and gray.
Its eyes were dim and clouded with age, gazing toward distant places as though remembering the glory of another lifetime.
And Levi—
the thug from the Underground who became humanity’s strongest—
eventually reached a point where it felt as though nobody called him simply “Levi” anymore.
—————— 08 ——————
Was possessing something truly capable of making a person happy?
“Tch... stupid question. Waste of time.”
Levi hated questions like that.
Questions that sounded pretentious. Foolish.
After all, children born in the Underground learned their first lesson early:
be satisfied with what little you have.
And yet—
the truth was that Levi himself did not know the answer either.
Every time he tried to step outside the faded joys of his old life, he became like a wild horse with its reins removed—
standing motionless in place.
“Tch. So what.”
He sighed softly and took another sip of tea.
This was the thousandth attempt.
————————— 【 End 】 —————————