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“Would it kill you to go into the field and not almost die?!” Penelope’s arms fly up into the air as she takes in Luke’s post explosion state.
Luke raises a brow and grins at her as he waits for her to really take in what she just said.
Garcia narrows her eyes at him. “You know what I mean. God, do you have any idea what you dying would do to…” she falters before quickly recovering, “the team?”
“The team?” Luke’s fingers twitch as he holds back from reaching for her.
Penelope swallows roughly but pushes through. God, that smirk on his face; she just wants to wipe it off by any means necessary. “Yes! Emily would blame herself and spiral out. And JJ just lost Will, she can’t handle losing anyone else. You and Tyler are becoming pals. And don’t even get me started on Rossi and Tara, who would try to act like they can handle it but you and I both know it would ruin them.”
“But not you? You wouldn’t care?” Luke does let himself gently graze his fingers across Penelope’s elbow.
Penelope bats his hand away to hide the shudder that runs through her at his touch. “Of course, I’d care!” She snaps before letting her wall slide back into place. “You know, the way you care when your loved ones’ loved one dies. It doesn’t matter.” Penelope turns away from him. “What matters is that if you die in the field, I will kill you myself. So for the love of all things good, stay alive.”
Luke stands up and steps up behind her. He is not close enough that they are touching, but Penelope can feel the heat of him on her back all the same. He slowly lifts a hand to her shoulder and rubs it with his thumb. “As you wish.” He squeezes her shoulder three times before turning and leaving her office.
Penelope waits until she hears the door click shut before she releases the breath she is holding. Her shoulder burns from where he touched her, the heat traveling through her. He’s alive; that’s what she has to keep reminding herself. No matter how close it was, he made it out and is still alive. Still alive with that fucking smirk.
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“And that means Garcia wins this round with ‘all that jizz’, bringing her to 29 points,” JJ reads off from the score pad.
Luke scowls at both blondes. “I swear she’s cheating. Rossi is in second place with twelve less points. There’s no way.”
“You’re just mad because she got you out on the first round every time.” Tara laughs, taking a sip of her drink.
“There should be a rule against targeting people.” Luke pouts, but his eyes give him away as they sparkle.
JJ rolls her eyes. “She targeted me too. Maybe if you weren’t so bad at guessing, you’d have more than 7 points,” she teases her friend.
“Half of us wrote essentially the same thing every time. I don’t get how she knew who wrote ‘the’ versus ‘a.’”
“Excuse you, I’m the queen of all knowledge. And as I told you, you should worship at my throne, Luke Alvez.” Penelope quips back.
Emily puts her hands up before Luke can retort. “Okay, well, we all know that when it reaches this point it’s time to call it a night.” The rest of the team laughs as they start gathering their things.
JJ and Rossi are the first to leave, followed closely by Tara, Emily, and Rebecca. Penelope disappears into the bathroom for a moment as Tyler and Luke gather some of the trash.
“Are you ready to head out?” Tyler asks Luke as he pulls his coat on.
Luke continues to pick up discarded plates and cups. “No, you go ahead. I’m going to help clean this up a little more.”
Tyler looks at Luke, tilting his head slightly. “Oh, well, I can stay too. Two more hands can’t hurt.”
“Really, you can go. Garcia might not even let me stay, and we both know how she likes to make me do things for her. Plus, if you stay, she might make you help switch over the litter in her litter boxes and I’m sure you don’t want to do that.” Luke tries to be as nonchalant as possible, but he feels his whole body thrumming. He likes Tyler, well, now he does; but he really just needs him to leave.
Tyler nods slowly and decides to let it go. He doesn’t want to start anything. “Okay, tell her goodnight for me.” He takes one last calculating look at Luke before heading out the door.
Luke shakes his head and continues his task, doing one last lap around the living room and kitchen until he is satisfied that he has gotten everything.
“Did Tyler leave?” Penelope asks as she rounds the corner back into the kitchen, The Black Queen at her heels. The cat darts forward and headbutts Luke’s calf, rubbing against his leg. “I don’t get it, she doesn’t do that with anyone else.”
Luke shrugs and bends down to offer some scritches to the cat. “He did. Told me to tell you bye for him.” He stands back up, ignoring the indignant meow from the black queen.
“So, what are you still doing here?” Penelope pushes down the fluttering she always feels when alone with Luke and looks for something to clean, but the entire kitchen is picked up minus a few dishes to hand wash.
Luke smirks as he watches her register what he’s already managed to accomplish. “Didn’t seem right that you have to host and clean up all by yourself. So I stayed to help out.”
“Oh, that’s nice…I mean, I did choose to host over say Rossi, but I suppose some help at the end is always appreciated.” Penelope continues looking anywhere but at him; it’s been so long since she’s felt this uncomfortable around him and she hates it. Okay, she knows that they are just better as friends so really, it’s just annoying that she hasn’t gotten over her feelings for him yet. “But you didn’t have to stay. In fact, having you here any longer than strictly necessary is honestly more of a burden than anything else.” There, she just needs to make fun of him like normal. That’s good. That’s how you keep distance.
Luke sticks his tongue into his cheek and nods. “As you wish.” He moves to go toward the door.
“And why do you keep saying that?” Penelope is very close to stomping her foot because this is the second time that he hasn’t engaged with her ribbing and instead just leaves. It is frustrating her beyond belief. Why can’t they just act like they used to?
Luke stops and rubs the back of his neck. “It’s from the Princess Bride,” he admits quietly.
“I know it’s from the Princess Bride, which is why I’m wondering why you are saying it to me.” Penelope snaps, her heart pounding in her throat. Because she knows what it means when Westley says it, and it is absolutely absurd to even begin to think that there is even the slightest chance that Luke means it in the same way.
“You have to know.” Luke almost laughs at the idea that somehow she doesn’t. Didn’t he tell Teresa that she knows over a year ago? “You can’t not know.” Luke turns around to face her.
His words wash over Penelope and it takes everything in her to not laugh in his face. The idea that someone like Luke would ever actually view her as…as…God she doesn’t even know what. She is not someone who gets desired or approached by random men in bars. The hot guy only wants her so far as he can use her. That’s what she’s been told time and time again. Even Derek who means the world to her and loves her so much is only capable of seeing her as a friend. She is not the romantic lead. And it’s not like she doesn’t know that she is hot, she does! Really, she does; she’s worked through so much with her therapist. But her knowing that and the men around her seeing that are completely different things. So what the hell is Luke getting at saying shit like that?
Luke sees the fear flash in Penelope’s eyes and curses to himself; God, he miscalculated. “Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve said anything. I’m sorry.”
“You can’t say things like that without meaning them.” Penelope feels her face heating up and she clenches her fists by her side. “Acting like you can just say anything and it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course, it matters!” Luke snaps back. For some reason she always brings out the fire in him. “I wasn’t just saying anything. God, I know that you have to know.”
“What? What do I have to know?” Penelope throws her hands up. She can’t bring herself to stare down Luke. She can’t bring herself to really look at him. Because the implications of what he is saying don’t make sense. “You can’t possibly mean what I think you mean.”
Luke steps closer to Penelope, but not so close as to crowd her. “Why? Why can’t I possibly mean it?”
“We already tried, didn’t we? It didn’t work. We’re better as friends, or, you know, whatever we are.” Penelope fidgets under his heavy gaze. “We work better when we tease each other.”
“Bullshit.” Luke feels his anger spiking again. “That date was weird and awkward but it doesn’t reflect us. You know us Penelope, you know how we work. We were just trying to be some version of ourselves that we’re not. Who says you can’t still make fun of me?” Luke lifts Penelope’s chin to finally get her to meet his eyes. She notices a dark and sincere fire within them. “Let me worship at your throne. Please.”
The plea in his voice almost takes Penelope out at the knees. There are so many reasons that this is a bad idea, aren’t there? Even though she was just thinking of all of them, none come to mind the deeper she looks into his eyes. She’s scared; scared that letting herself let him in can hurt her worse than being shot did. She’s more scared than maybe she’s ever been which makes her feel absolutely insane. And that fear is compounding and building up in her chest, slight shooting pain around her heart. And then she pushes forward and up, catching his lips with hers. They’re soft, and his stubble scratches against her chin.
Luke pulls Penelope into his chest with one arm, his other hand moving from her chin to cradle the back of her head. She’s soft, and warm; her fruity and floral perfume fills the space between them. He breaks apart from the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers, their lips just barely touching. “I need to hear you say yes. And I need to know that this isn’t just a one time thing for you. Because I might already be addicted to the feel of you in my arms,” Luke rasps out, panting ever so slightly to keep his desire at bay.
“God, you’re so cheesy. Does that usually work for you? I mean I know you look like some kind of chiseled statue but really, how have you ever gotten laid?” Penelope deflects, her body thrumming with want. She just wants to run her hands down his bare chest and…
Luke chuckles at her. “Penelope, will you let me show you just how much I…” He pauses as he considers what he wants to say. Fuck it, cards are all on the table now, right? “love you?”
Penelope gasps and smiles despite herself. “Yes.” She breathes out, the s dying on her lips as Luke kisses her again. His hand curls around the hair at the nape of her neck; his other one holding her hip. Penelope runs her hands up his sides. He’s muscular and solid, but not hard, and she loves the way she can press her fingers into his skin. She slips her hands under his shirt, dragging the cotton up as she continues to map out his chest beneath her palms. She can’t fully process what is happening, and there is a part of her that doesn't feel like this is even real. Luke kisses her neck just behind her left ear and her entire body erupts with goosebumps. Penelope just barely catches her moan before it can fully escape her lips. She can't bring herself to fully let go. It could be so easy to fall into the feelings of ecstasy that Luke's lips on her neck create; but what happens tomorrow? Penelope freezes in Luke's arms and he pulls back immediately, looking into the anxious swirl in her eyes.
"Come with me." Luke practically whispers as he leads them to the couch, gently guiding Penelope to sit before heading back to the kitchen to find a glass of water for her. He hands her the cup and sits on the coffee table across from her. "Just take a few sips and then we can talk."
Penelope looks at him skeptically and then brings the cup to her lips, letting the cold water ground her as it travels down her throat, cooling the fire of want in the pit of her stomach. She's never been with someone so in tune with her body; someone who's noticed her freeze like that before; normally, the men she's been with are so focused on their own release at that point that she just becomes a means to that end.
"You stopped?" She means for it to be a statement but she can't stop her disbelief from filtering through.
Luke raises his eyebrows. "You froze." He says like it explains everything, because it does.
Penelope averts her eyes and takes another sip of water.
"Did I do something that you didn't like? Or did I cross a boundary?"
"I don't know if I can do this." Penelope mumbles as she stares at the cup in her hands, Luke sitting at the very edge of her vision.
Luke's back stiffens and he sits up straighter. "Why?" His voice betrays how desperate he is to understand her. They've flirted with and supported each other for years; they have such a strong foundation to build a relationship off of. What could possibly be the problem? "Talk to me."
Penelope bites her cheek. She can just push him away again, kick him out of her house and avoid him extra at work until enough time has passed and things won't be so terribly awkward. It is her go to move isn't it? And even if she's alone, at least she's safe.
"Don't push me away again, please." Luke pulls one of her hands from the cup and into his. "I love you, that isn't going to change. Just tell me what you need from me and I'll do it."
"I can't lose you." Penelope continues looking down, her focus moving from her water to her hand in Luke's. "When this inevitably falls apart, I can't lose you."
Luke takes the water out of her hands and sets it on the table so that he can hold both of her hands in his. "Why do you think it is inevitable that this will fall apart? After all we have been through together, do you really think we don't know each other's best and worst? And while I can't speak for you, I have only ever been completely enamoured by what I've experienced. You are what my heart wants, and that won't change, it can't. I've tried to see other people but no one compared to you. You frustrate me and amaze me like nobody else in this world. You've taken my breath away since I first met you and you did everything in your power to not like me. But even if the impossible happens and we don't work, I can promise that you won't lose me. I will still be whatever you need me to be."
Penelope shudders under the weight of his words; it would be so nice to accept that as truth and go for it. "Everyone always leaves. I'm the one who stays, watching them go."
"Forget everyone else. Focus on us." Luke ducks his head down until he catches Penelope's eye. "Have I ever left you? I'm here, Penelope. I'm here until you tell me to leave. I'm here for whatever you are willing to give me. Do you need this to be slow? Let me take you out again as long as you promise not to shut me out again. There are no rules, there is only us."
"You really love me?" Penelope hates how small she sounds. This isn't her, at least not the her that she ever lets anyone else see, but Luke isn't anyone. She leans on him in ways she's never leaned on anyone before.
"I do, I do, you know, I do." Luke squeezes her hands. "Exactly as you are, exactly as we are. Just say you'll let me show you. And I promise, you don't have to be someone you're not. Make fun of me as much as you like, so long as you let me be by your side."
Penelope finally lifts her head to look into his eyes, and the sincerity in them takes her breath away. She's not brave enough to lay out her feelings like he is, but maybe she can at least be brave enough to trust that he is not lying to her. "Okay, so long as it is slow and on my terms." She expects some kind of retort but he just smiles back at her. "Which means you aren't staying here tonight, but you can kiss me goodbye."
"As you wish." Luke smirks at her and she wants to wipe it off his face, so she does, her lips on his once again. She feels him soften against her and realizes that she might not ever get sick of that. But for the first time, that invigorates her instead of frightening her.