Chapter Text
You know, I'm a pretty unlucky dude.
I once scraped the side of my car on a fence because I wasn't paying attention. I ran into a lamppost because I looked at a GPS for a little too long. I almost got a girl pregnant because my ancient reptilian brain thought that condoms were a suggestion, not a requirement. It was a… difficult month, to say the least. And one I'd prefer to forget.
But out of everything in the universe possible — everything in existence, I never would have thought myself ending up… here.
In space.
As a fucking alien. Not only that, as a pink alien with a goddamn diamond for a heart from a show I absolutely adore. Isn't that just great? Having to replace the life of a childish tyrant with a feeble human mind that is most definitely not made to last one-hundred years? No. No it is not.
Everything feels so wrong. I have no lungs, no heart, no stomach or kidneys. I'm nothing more than a hollow space built from stardust. Hair and skin and feet that don't belong to me. A voice that's far too light. Unfamiliar instincts I can't put names to. It's all so much at once, yet I don't feel much more than a twinge of panic. Lack of cortisol does that, I guess, as well as a missing nervous system. No brain to produce the endorphins necessary for it.
Or is it just my new body suppressing those feelings for my own safety?
I don't know. Gem biology isn't exactly something I know all that well. Being made of starlight doesn't exactly leave much to the imagination. It also doesn't help that I'm locked in one of those fucking rooms that Blue would put Pink in sometimes when she was being… disobedient. Or disruptive.
Or just herself.
Huge black walls, with a small window blocked by a thick set of bars. It's claustrophobic as all hell.
And dark.
And lonely.
I clench my hands. There's power deep inside. But even with that, I'm not really anything in comparison to other Diamonds, only a child. I don't even know if I have a proper court. I don't have the memories to advise me. I don't have the experience to handle my new powers, and I sure as shit don't have the nerve to keep my composure when it counts. All I have right now is instinct and human intuition. No plan. No idea how to fix things. Just… fragments and shards.
… The most important thing is making sure no one finds out what I am. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly sure where I've landed in the timeline, so foresight isn't exactly an advantage here. Is this before Pink adopted Rose as a Persona? During the rebellion? Or is this during the early days of Pink Diamonds before she received earth as a colony.
Ugh. Why the fuck do I have to worry about this now? I was going to college for the medical program I had busted my ass for; I was in a healthy relationship — I was happy. Happy. As a fleshy meat bag that was going to save lives. Now… now I'm stuck with no idea how to get back home in a mostly feminine body. It's easy to ignore now — what with the compartmentalization and muted emotional response — but christ, that's gonna fuck with my head later for sure.
I'm Pink Diamond, now.
Best I just accept it.
Ten cycles later…
Okay, accepting this might be a little harder than I thought.
I plod around the empty chamber in an endless loop, and the little pink balls attached to the end of my… ballerina shoes jingle loudly, shaking around like baby bells. It's driving me up a wall, this infantilization.
This… emasculation, for lack of a better word. I can't understate how horrible it feels to be in a body that's not mine. Even when I begin to scratch at my fingers and my palms and my arms, hard enough to draw blood, nothing comes out. The skin doesn't pull back and crease and crinkle like it should. It stays firm and static, lacking the presence of veins and arteries and bones and everything that should make me… me. No hair. Utterly smooth. Inhuman. A foreign feeling rises in the pit of my gem- chest. My… chest. I'm… I'll never be me again.
I'll never be human again.
Then the doors open, and a towering presence meets my sunken gaze. Blue Diamond, in all her hooded glory. A veil of melancholy planted over her sagging expression, alongside awareness, sympathy, and love. But there's also a well of cruelty, apathy, and judgment hidden behind.
"Have you learned your lesson, Pink?" She asks gently, hoping for the obvious answer.
I deliver, because I'm not stupid enough to win myself another day in this hellhole.
"… Yes."
"I'd hope so after the fuss you made. I usually let your childishness slide, unlike Yellow, but White was present that cycle. I know you know better than to throw a tantrum under her watchful eye."
I have no idea what the fuck she's talking about, so I just smile and nod and clasp my hands like the good little Diamond that I am.
"You're right, Blue. I'm sorry." I say, telling her exactly what she wants to hear. The last thing I need is scrutiny. If she probes me even a little, I'll fold, because I can't remember a damn thing about Pink's life before now. "I'll be better next time. I promise."
Blue blinks in surprise, before her lips rise into a radiant smile. She bends down and smushes me against her cheek.
"That's fantastic to hear, Pink!" She lets go of me and gently grabs my hand. Her skin is soft, like water. No wrinkles or creases to be seen, "Now come come, let me walk you back to your room. Your Pearl has been waiting very patiently for your return."
She doesn't wait for a response. She drags me across the palace with huge, speedy strides, passing the dozens of Topaz guards present at every gate, quietly watching. Observing.
Aside from me, Blue, and the Topaz guards though, the palace is barren. Do I not have other gems living in my castle? In my court? Advisors. Enforcers. Architects. Intellectuals. Unless they're all off-world somehow?
At least the palace is pretty. Shaved granite carvings built in my likeness and coated in a beautiful shade of pink. Fountains overflowing with glittering water and sparkling crystals. Mesmerizing murals showcasing a long and varied history of an Authoritarian empire too far up its own ass to admit the infinite number of flaws it's cultivated. A corrupted society controlled by aristocracy. Rampant cruelty. Mistreatment of the low class. An absolute monarchy with zero accountability that, for all intents and purposes, I'm technically a part of that now.
… It might be too early to decide this, since I don't know what to do with this sort of power or how much leeway I have, but I… want to try and make things better. I have the means to do so. The probable influence. The resources.
I just have to figure out how, first, without getting caught and mind washed by White. The very thought of her inside my head makes me shiver.
Blue tugs on my hand. "We're here, Pink. I know we often spend a few cycles after your punishments, but I have a few duties to attend to before we can. You understand, right?"
Her face drops. There's genuine sorrow in her expression.
I find that I don't care all that much. But I still have a part to play.
I squeeze her hand and pull away, feigning disappointment, "It's okay. We can play when you have time. I know you're all super busy managing all your colonies, so… don't worry about me. I have to start acting like the Diamond that I am."
Blues expression changes to one of bewilderment for a moment, before shifting back to sadness.
"I'm happy you aren't taking this as hard as you usually do, Pink. It always hurts to see you sad." She kneels down to my level and slides a colossal thumb down my cheek. I hold back the urge to frown. Nice as it is to be doted on, I'm not a child.
"Of all the things in the universe, your smile is the most beautiful."
Her touch feels so pleasant. I wish she could hold me forever.
"… T-thank you, Blue."
She smiles.
"I have to go. Try not to make trouble. Without me here to keep her in check, Yellow might be prone to harsher punishments if you throw another tantrum."
"I won't. Bye, Blue."
"Goodbye, Pink. I will see you again soon."
Then she leaves, and her footsteps make nary a sound. Makes me wonder how someone so big could be that quiet…
You know what — that doesn't matter. I walk into my room, located all the way at the top of my palace, the very tippy top, edge of the sky, reaching to the stars. And alongside that view, Pink Pearl, Volleyball, without her cracked eye, standing by the double doors leading to the balcony. Beyond that, a sprawling view of my new home in all its… gilded glory.
Pearl strides toward me with a level of elegance I've never seen from a human. She bows and smiles. I can't tell if it's fake. I'd like to believe it is, but programming and conditioning is a hell of a thing. It's hard to break out of it when you have no concept of freedom.
"My Diamond! I'm so happy to see you again! i know how awful it is for you to be locked in that room, so if you wish, It would be my pleasure to sing and dance for you. If not that, then to talk. Anything at all, It would be my pleasure to do for you."
My face scrunches up. I know I don't have a tongue, but her submissiveness leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
While I'm Pink Diamond, I won't tolerate that shit.
Pearl notices my expression and falters.
"My Diamond? A-are you okay? I apologize if I did something wro-"
"No! You did nothing wrong. Just…" I try to scratch the back of my head — a nervous tic — but instead meet the mound of pink floof that is my hair now. I settle for rapping my fingers along the rim of my skirt. Skirt. Blegh, "When we're in private, don't refer to me as 'My Diamond'. I don't like it."
"You… don't like it?"
"I don't. Not anymore. Would you feel comfortable calling me Pink?"
Pearl blinks a few times. She purses her lips, clasps her hands, and holds them close to her chest.
"Of course I would feel comfortable, My Di- Pink… Pink." She says my name a few more times. Testing how it feels. She gauges my reaction to her using my name, to make sure she isn't doing anything wrong, "Is… a-am I saying it correctly? A-are you sure you want me to call you Pink?"
"Yep. In fact, I think I like you calling me Pink more than My Diamond. So keep doin' it."
Wait, won't she take everything I say literally as an order?
"Yes, My Pink!"
"No no, just Pink is fine."
"Yes… My Pink… Diamond? No… wait…"
"… We'll work on that. Listen, can we make a bed in the room? And a desk? Plus a few chairs? This place is unbelievably barren."
"Of course!"
Pearl does a 180 and claps three times. Hundreds of tiny little pebbles, complete with rags and hammers and tools for hands peek their heads out of the walls and gaps between the crystalline floor.
"Pink Diamond wishes to have her room fitted with a royal bed located somewhere in the…"
"Center of the room. Preferably facing the balcony."
"Center of the room at a ninety degree angle and facing the balcony! Alongside a large desk, a clean set of data sheets, and a mirror!"
"Plus a rolling chair. Super important."
"And a chair with the ability to roll across the floor! That part is very important! Don't forget that!"
They all raise their little hands in excited agreement. They look so happy to work. For me. I can't help but feel grateful, so I stop them right as they're about to get started and pull a speech right out of my butt.
Public speaking — don't fail me now.
"I cannot begin to thank you all enough for your help. I know life here in Homeworld can be… difficult for pebbles as you're all seen as nothing more than disposable laborers. But to me, you're all more than that! You're a part of my court. My people. If you ever have any complaints — or want anything — let me know, okay? I'll do my absolute best to help."
"Yes, Our gracious Diamond! Anything for you!" They say in unison.
"Please. All of you. Call me Pink."
They get to work and the room shifts before my eyes, slowly turning from a barren landscape into something lived in.
I'll have to work on their mentality, but for now, I have a more pressing matter. If I'm going to steep myself into Homeworld politics as a Diamond — I have to know exactly who's on my side and willing to hear out change, and who's resistant to the very notion of challenging the status quo.
Only one way to do that.
"Pearl. Question."
"Yes, My- Pink. I'm sorry." She apologizes.
"It's okay. You're just used to calling me something different. These things take time, so don't feel like you're in a rush to conform to what I want. You'll get there eventually." I say, waving away her concerns, "I need to know if you can set up a sort… event between me and the highest members of my court. Only us, no one else. Is that possible?"
She pulls out her data pad and quickly jots down a few notes in that fancy handwriting of hers.
"Do you mean a gala, Pink? Or do you mean a ball party? You're often differential to the latter, but I know after the last time…"
Good info to know. But I need the gala. Quieter that way. Smaller. Still gonna look like it's run by a bunch of cocky shmucks, which I technically am, but that's the price I'll pay for getting an inkling of exactly what my courts priorities are and exactly how sensitive they are to change — big or small.
"The gala please. I also need it to be away from the palace. A two story building with a stage of some kind should be good enough."
Pearl nods, scrawling that tidbit into her pad.
"Of course, Pink. And what sort of entertainment would you like to provide?"
"What can we provide?"
"Only the best for the highest castes. They often don't expect anything less than the most premium services."
I can only imagine what those might be.
"These services include…?
"Music. Provisional Pearls. Competition. Intellectualism."
"Hmm. Premium indeed."
A dark thought comes to the forefront of my mind.
"Are there any unmentioned privileges?"
"What do you mean?"
I rub my forehead to speed up the dusty gears in my head.
"I mean if they can commit any… unsavory acts without fear of consequence."
She frowns. Her eyes flicker to the right and she grips her bundled palms a little tighter. She looks vaguely uncomfortable.
Her words come out slow and thoughtful, with a hint of hesitance.
"I'm… not one to gossip about matters I do not know very much about, but among us Pearls, many have mentioned being… inappropriately touched by other gems during such events."
I close my eyes and take a deep breath — one that I don't need but do regardless — and hold back the snarl itching to leave my mouth. I don't know how it works, but that doesn't matter. The thought of any gem being harassed fills me with rage. The insatiable kind that continues to grow and grow and grow until it can do nothing but raze everything around it to ash. Pearl notices my smoldering glare and scrambles to apologize for something that never could have been her fault.
"I'm sorry for bringing this up, My Diamond. I-I mean My Pink. No no I me-"
"Pearl." I lay a palm flat on her head and give her a soft smile. It doesn't obscure the anger in my gaze, but I want to make it clear to her that she's not the one I'm aiming it toward, "I'm not mad at you."
"Y-you're not?"
"No, quite the opposite actually. I'm glad you told me. Now… shall we go and plan ourselves a gala?"