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Derek was increasingly aware that his body was undergoing a transformation. Initially, the changes were so minor that they went unnoticed in his everyday life. He was much too absorbed in savoring every moment spent with Avery, whose laughter and warmth filled his days with joy.
However, as time passed, he began to notice unsettling signs. The skin on his arms and legs appeared to be thinning, as if it were fading away with every passing day. Patches under his clothes, skin would simply turn into this, void like whole. He tried to brush off the concern, focusing instead on the sound of Avery's voice and the way his smile lit up the room.
Yet, there were still the pinpricks of discomfort, little sensations that began to emerge from his hips, tiny, almost delicate protrusions that felt alien and strange. It was as if his body was trying to tell him something important, but he couldn't bear to confront that reality. For now, he chose to linger in the bliss of their time together, willing himself to ignore the alarming changes taking place within.
Derek felt the unsettling transformation within himself, aware that he was slipping further into an unsettling change. The once debilitating headaches had dulled to a bearable throb, a strange side effect of the inky, tendril like frills that now cascaded from the crown of his skull, glistening darkly in the light. He would grimace whenever Avery joked about 'having eyes at the back of his head...knowing in fact he had. With each passing moment, he could sense a peculiar newness at the nape of his neck, a disconcerting awareness of a mouth forming there, as if something within him was awakening, eager to speak.
It had been terrifying. All of this was terrifying to Derek, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. As much as he tried to rid himself of his changes.. They grew back thicker. Longer and stronger.
The first thing Derek lost was his hands.
Not literally. They were still there, somewhere beneath the twisting architecture of his body, but they no longer obeyed him. Fingers that had once held swords and carefully buttoned Avery's coats now bent at impossible angles beneath layers of dark feathers and glossy black flesh. Every movement sent strange sensations racing through him. He could feel too much.
The walls. The floor. The then and the now.
The tiny insects hidden inside the wood of the manor.
Everything existed at once. Everything was hurting and was changing so fast he could simply blink, and he would miss it changing before his eyes.
The noise that emerged was not human. Derek was terrified to even speak but the noise that escaped was merely of pain. It was a deep, resonant cry that rattled the window of his solitary room. Derek froze. He was changing rapidly. More than anything, He wanted Avery.
His chest tightened as panic flooded through him. He tried to stand from the side of his bed and immediately regretted it. One of his limbs, he wasn't sure which anymore, struck the bedframe and shattered the carved wood like kindling. The sound echoed through the room. Derek stared, He was growing too big now
Every breath dragged strange air through lungs that were no longer lungs. Feathers erupted from his shoulders in uneven patches, black and iridescent. Beneath them, dark skin stretched and split before sealing itself again. Bone shifted beneath flesh with wet cracking sounds. Something moved beneath his ribcage. Several eyes blinked open across one side of his neck.
Derek nearly screamed. They turned to stare at him, Yellow and taunting him. Laughing at him, and once again Derek felt pathetic all over again.
The room spun. He lowered his enormous head towards the floor only to realize..gods...his head, God It had grown too long. Elongated and before him, a beak like structure pushed foreward from what had once been his face. Jagged rows of teeth gleamed within his mouth. He hated it.
Most of all he hated being alone.
"Avery..." The name called but it was no longer his voice. Too old and ancient. Too small and to loud at the same time. Many souls now called this voice their own. Many called and none were him.
"A...very..." He wanted Avery. Not because Avery could fix it. But Avery would hold him. Would tell him it would all be okay and that...That maybe was enough for him at this moment. He didn't want to be alone when this happened. He wanted to at least look at Avery one final time before his eyes were no longer his own. He simply wanted him here.
Instead, there was only silence. The door remained closed, and Derek could only stare at it. He was too big to fit through it, he wouldn't reach it, he couldn't even turn the handle anymore. A wing sprouted from his back was tangled against the ceiling, The room had become to small and claustrophobic.
The realization broke something inside him. He had changed. So fast and dramatically, he hadn't even the time to mourn what he once was. Lowering himself to the floor, folding his impossible body into itself. Wanting to vanish, wanting to stop existing as long as Avery didn't see what he was now. Crying felt appropriate at the time. Despite being changed at the least, he could still mourn, at least he could cry about what he had lost in such quick succession.
Like a man trapped inside his own nightmare.
Derek remained where he was. Terrified and praying to whatever god that was merciful to listen to him.
The noises eventually came. Perhaps his crying had gotten his attention.
A familiar voice beyond the door. "Derek? Are you okay?" The handle rattled and Derek simply couldn't speak. Mortified to think Avery could see him this way. 'Please go away. Please don't see me when i am this'
"Derek? Derek!" The pounding at the door started. Derek shut every eye he could.
The door shuddered beneath repeated impacts."Derek, answer me!"
Another crash. Wood splintered away at the impact before another hit. Then another before the lock gave way and the door went flying open.
For a moment neither of them moved. Derek is mortified to move. To be percieved as this thing.
Avery stood in the ruined doorway and simply stared. Derek knew the many outcomes and all averaged out about the same. Avery leaving him, Screaming in terror and running as far away as he could. Looking at him as if he was a monster. Which he figured was appropriate given his ... appearance.
A mass of feathers and eyes and twisting limbs occupied the room before him. Wings scraped the ceiling. Bones protruded beneath shifting flesh. Darkness seemed to bend around parts of his body. He wasn't human anymore. He barely looked like anything at all. He watched as Avery's beautiful, honeyed skin turned pale. Eyes widen as his hands came to his face and sank into plump cheeks. Breath caught in his throat as he portrayed nothing but fear.
There it was, a moment heavy with dread. Derek lowered his head, feeling a weight of sadness settle in his chest. He was preparing himself to say goodbye to Avery forever, to drown out the anticipated scream of terror that would echo in his mind, forever replacing the image of love that had once filled his heart. The thought was unbearable. He couldn't bring himself to look up or listen.
Avery moved with caution, each step deliberate and measured, as if approaching a wild animal in Derek’s room. The air was thick with tension, and the sound of Avery’s footsteps seemed to reverberate like thunder, amplifying the silence that surrounded them. Derek remained frozen, refusing to lift his gaze and confront the emotional storm brewing between them.
Until warm hands touched the side of his monstrous face. It stunned him, his head jerked upward. Every eye focused in on Avery, and Avery stared back. Fear remained in his eyes, of course, anyone would be afraid to look at anything this way. Not to mention how uncomfortable it must be to be looked at by this many eyes all at once.
But that wasn’t the only thing occupying Derek’s mind. He couldn’t help but notice how the expression on Avery’s face shifted dramatically. Concern creased his brow as his eyes widened with fear, followed by waves of relief that washed over him, illuminating his features with warmth and affection. It was a complex tapestry of emotions that played out within him, revealing the deep connection they shared.
Avery’s thoughts drifted to the moment when he had seen the sheer terror reflected in Derek’s eyes. A haunting image that would forever be etched in his memory. No matter how much time passed or how much they tried to move forward, that moment of raw vulnerability remained an indelible part of their story. That Terror reflected back in the eyes of something truly terrifying.
Avery studied him for several seconds. Then he formed a small smile. Shaky but genuine as he looked over all the part that no longer were Derek. But this beast that lay in pain.
"Well." His voice trembled. "You certainly look awful."
Derek made a miserable sound.
Tears gathered in his eyes. Stepping closer, close enough to feel the feathers tickle his sensitive skin. Close enough that no sane person should have stood beside someone like him. Avery lifted one hand and rested it against the feathers near Derek's jaw. The touch was so warm and gentle it left Derek Shaking.
"Avery..." The broken word escaped him.
Avery's smile widened."There you are...Yes, you're my Derek, alright," Avery said so softly he may as well not have said anything.
Derek stared. Baffled at how Avery just held him. Tenderly and so softly, like Derek wasn't a beast but a beautiful god before him.
"You thought I wouldn't know you?"
His throat tightened. Avery looked directly into the countless eyes staring back at him. Because Avery was simply amazing, he managed to look past the many teeth, the wings. The very nightmare that Derek had become and stared directly into what was left of his humanity.
Then he said the words Derek would remember for the rest of eternity. "Yes." Avery brushed tears from his own face. "That's my Derek alright."
Something inside Derek shattered. Not from pain or grief, relieved that at least this possibility was true, that Avery stayed. A sob escaped his throat. so broken and old it wasn't even his own. However, Avery didn't flinch, he just stood there and carefully caressed Derek's face as much as he possibly could.
The gesture was ridiculous.
A human trying to hug a being large enough to blot out half the room. But Avery held on anyway. Derek, with his many trembling limbs and wings and things that no longer had names, carefully folded himself around Avery. Held him so close it almost felt like he wanted to get under his skin.
But then again, none of it mattered. Because Avery was here with him. Avery was safety to him in this moment. Avery made his pain go away. Derek no longer felt like a monster alone in the dark.
Perhaps that was enough for him for this moment.