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ky hates this stupid baka life of his. instead of getting anything done at their very serious meeting about very serious matters the author is too lazy to search up, vernon, leo, chipp, and daryl got buttass drunk and started screaming the lyrics to caramelladansen. on loop. for three hours. then, when he got home, dizzy greeted him and rubbed his back. that was the good part (singular) of his day. immediately after, sin started screaming tb some "grandpa soooooool!!!! unika tooked my ipad but i was watching 67 vs clavicular vs tung tung tung sahur jelq off!!!! grandpa soooooool!!!!" his voice was so annoyingly piercingly mind numbingly brain meltingly shrill, the fruit flies buzzing in kys ear sounded like a baritone choir singing hoist the colors.
"oh my god you stupid fuck, sols not even here! stop slobbering over 61 jelly cladonkular mogmaxxing ai slop and start watching mlg compilations and markiplier like I did as a kid you disappointment" unika put the ipad on top of the fridge and sin literally broke down into tears. ky would have punished unika for cursing at a literal 5 year old, but held off because shes right damn it. that kid is a stupid little fuck, and its all because sol decided to shove that ipad in his face instead of teaching him how to emotionally regulate.
"dizzy honey, im terribly sorry you have to deal with this all day, i would have killed myself by now if i were you. by the way, which wall would you say is most painful to repeatedly bash your head into?" he turned to ask his wife.
"oh, believe me, i wish i had it in me to kill myself, but ive got children to care for and a husband to love and a life to live, unlike the husband i love. but thats irrelevant, i just bashed my head onto that wall near the door earlier. it hurts very badly. i have a very bad headache and the world is still spinning. 10/10 :)"
"thank you my love." ky then proceeded to bash his head into the wall repeatedly. "FUCK FUCK FUCK GOD FUCKING SHIT I HATE MY LIFE FUCK DAMN IT FUCK" he screamed, pulling his hair and kicking the wall as his head head went 'thunk, thunk, thunk'. unika and sin watched their dad absolutely crash out in horror. dizzy smiled. ky hit himself so many times that somehow, a second head grew from his neck.
"HELLOOOOO BIG K!!!!!!" the second head said in a nightcore donald trump voice.
"AHHHHHHH GOD NO THE TUMOR TWIN THING GROWING OUT OF MY NECK IS REALLY DONALD TRUMPS GG SELF INSERT IN DISGUISE!!!!!!" ky screamed
"NO IM BASICALLY YOU I JUST SOUND LIKE DONALD TRUMP"
"oh"
"yeah i know its not even really that funny"
"true, this author is quite the nonce, no?"
then happy chaos emerges from the cabinet near dizzy. unika and ky give dizzy a questioning look, but dizzy throws up her hands and violently shakes her head no.
"hello... you are so beautiful... tumor slash symbiotic organism that sounds like donald trump but looks like if dobby from harry potter and ky kiske had a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome." he said, biting his lip.
"damnnnnn ahahahahaha thank you thank you... come over here cutie dont be shy" the tumor beckoned, wiggling its eyebrows. happy chaos comes over, grabs ky by the waist and the growth by its pruny cheek and makes out with it sloppy style.
"oh great heavens, dear me! im disgisusted! horrified! my repulsion knows no bounds!" ky shrieks as his second head and happy chaos begin to arm wrestle with their tongues. has ky died and gone to hell? thats gotta be it, right? ky's very own personal hell! but, after everything he's been through, everything hes lost and sacrified and learned in life, this is what awaited him in the afterlife? in that case, ky really really hopes reincarnation is real.