Chapter Text
The badge within her hand felt heavier today.
Heavier than it had been.
Before, it barely held any weight. In both the physical sense, and the physiological.
Now, though? It carried something behind it. Athena just wasn’t sure what.
The promotion had been a surprise, at least for everyone but Elaine Maynard.
Athena hadn’t found herself actively chasing the promotion, and yet it fell into her lap anyway. The case she picked up had ultimately led her to working with a dirty detective who completely underestimated Athena Grant-Nash, which, didn’t end well for him. Or the guys he worked for.
A bullet wound to Athena’s chest was ironically her saving grace.
The transition from Sergeant to Detective didn’t take as long as Athena thought. In fact, once physically recovered from her injury, Athena was already picking up a case. She’d already hung up her Sergeant’s uniform, and picked out her shiniest leather jacket. Walking onto the scene as if it was one she’d done a million times before.
Because in someways, it was.
The badge Athena had secured to her hip was one that felt familiar, even when it wasn’t.
Apart from today.
“I know that look.”
Athena didn’t need to look up to see who was standing in the doorway. The smell of coffee had given it away before Rick even rounded the corner, his signature blend infiltrating Athena’s nose in a way that caused some offence.
“Tough morning?”
Shaking her head, Athena still held onto her badge. “Steady.”
“Ain’t that a good thing?”
“I suppose.”
Rick didn’t answer for the moment, instead he watched. Just as he knew better to do by now.
“May called.”
That was his queue to step inside Athena’s office. “Oh yeah? How’s she doing?”
Athena’s eyes were still glued to the badge. “She’s done her first week. Or, well, she survived her first week.”
“Tired?”
“She’s exhausted.” A smile almost broke free, but not before Athena took a deep breath. Wiping it away. “So I know she’s been doing okay.”
Rick took a sip of his coffee, still keeping quiet.
“There’s a nursing seminar in Utah-“ Athena sighed, the words escaping from her lips as if they carried some weight. “It’s covering some training she’ll need further down the line. All the students are advised to go as it’ll be essential for one of their final exams.”
“Hey, that’s good.” He encouraged, leaning forward. “Sounds like she’s taking this seriously, right?”
Athena nodded weakly. “She’s taking Ravi.”
Oh.
There it is.
A slight smirk appeared on Rick’s face. “I see.”
“Five days.” She clicked her tongue, still focusing on the badge. “Just them two.”
“And you’re, what? Not on board with that?”
Athena huffed. “I trust my daughter, Rick. And I trust Ravi-“
“Then, what?”
She shook her head. “May was going to ask me but she didn’t want to take me out of rotation so new into the promotion.”
Rick took a breath. “Okay.”
“And now that damn girl has got me inside my head.”
“About what?”
“About jumping back in too soon.”
Rick rubbed a hand on his knee, the fabric creating some friction. “It’s been four months, ‘Thena.”
“Exactly.” She snapped, shaking her head. “That’s- - that’s nothing, Rick.”
“You’ve come back to work sooner than that before.” He furrowed his brow. “In fact- - we’ve had to send you away! Remember that time I had to get Bobby to-“ Rick stopped talking so abruptly Athena felt as if she’d been slapped.
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “I know.”
“You’ve passed all of your required tests.” Rick spoke after a second, just this time with his voice lower. “You’re more than in your rights to be here, holding that badge.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“I do.” Athena curled her lips, already feeling the burn in the back of her throat. “I just don’t think I should be.”
“And why not?”
Athena shrugged. “It’s complicated.”
“And why is it so complicated?” Rick pressed, arching an eyebrow.
“My kids have been through a lot-“
He held out his hand. “So have you.”
“They’ve seen too much.” Athena shook her head, still refusing to look up from the badge. “They have experienced too much pain for me to have this badge, Rick. And now that I do? It’s taking even more from them.”
A confused sigh left his mouth. “Like what?”
“Like this!” Athena snapped, her voice cracking like a whip. “Like this trip I’m missing out on. Like not being able to go with Harry to view apartments- - like- - everything. All of it, Rick. I’m still missing things, I’m still not there. Not in the way they deserve.”
The silence fell over them.
The room filling with the kind of quiet that comes with years of understanding, wrapped into trauma. It was the kind of quiet both Rick and Athena knew well, even if they wished they didn’t.
“Athena-“
“I don’t want pity.”
Rick couldn’t help but smirk. “I’m offended that you’d think I’d give you any.”
“I don’t want advice either.”
“Now that-“ Rick cleared his throat, holding up a hand. “You’re going to get, regardless.”
Offering no response, Athena rolled her eyes.
“May and Harry are doing wonderfully, Athena.” Rick dove straight in, just as Athena expected him to. “They are brilliant, capable people. And they’re proving that every day.”
“I wasn’t there for Harry.” Athena spoke through gritted teeth. “When he was probationary- - I wasn’t there. Not really.”
“You were grieving-“
Athena argued. “That boy is my son.”
“You can’t put that on yourself, ‘Thena.” Rick shook his head, leaning forward once more. “You can’t separate the two. Not when it’s fresh. Not when you’re wrapped up in that fog.”
“My children have suffered because of my choices.”
This time, Rick tutted. And for a minute, he offered no response. In fact, he let the silence rise up around them all before he split it once more.
“Emmett.”
Athena’s head snapped up.
“Tanya Kingston.”
She huffed. “You better stop-“
“Both cases you solved.” Rick continued, his eyes locking onto Athena’s. And he could see the pain within them. “You solved their cases, ‘Thena. You. All on your own.”
“What- - what the hell does that have to do with this?!”
“You’ve been helping people before your kids were old enough to understand the way of the world, Athena.” Rick told her, the truth cracking open between them. “And you taught them how to survive the mess- - how to cope with it all.”
Athena’s mouth opened and closed. Her jaw trembling slightly. “I should've been protecting them from the mess.”
“You can’t.”
“I should've tried harder.”
“You taught them how to thrive in the mess, Athena.” Rick shook his head, finally reaching out for her hand. Clasping the badge within his own. “And that has made them the brilliant, driven and dedicated people they are today.”
With the tears shining through, Athena let out a sigh. “But was it still worth all the pain?
- - - - -
“How many bags are you taking?”
May paused for a moment. “I have two.”
Harry couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re going for like, three days.”
“It’s five days-“ She held up a finger, defending herself. “And some of us actually like to pack more than just two pairs of boxers and a toothbrush.”
“I’d pack more than that-“
“As you damn well should.” Athena chimed in, taking the pizza out of the oven. “I raised you better than that, Harry Grant.”
Smirking, Harry risked stealing a piece of pepperoni off the hot cheese. “Five boxers, two changes of clothes and my toothbrush.”
“Five?” May sounded as offended as she looked. “Are you insane?”
“What? It’s one for each day!”
“And what about showering?”
“I’d just shower in the morning!”
May huffed, holding up her hands. “Boys really are yucky.”
“And yet- - you invited one to go with you.” Harry challenged, arching an eyebrow.
“My boy isn’t yucky.” May smiled sweetly, crossing her arms. “And my boy also knows how to pack for a five day trip.”
Scoffing, Harry pulled out his phone.
“Please do not tell me you’re asking Ravi how many pairs of underpants he’s taking.” Athena’s face grew flat, hands on her hips.
Harry looked over at Athena before shrugging. “I need confirmation.”
Rolling her eyes, Athena went back to dishing up. Cutting through the pizzas, before tossing the salad. All while the gentle bickering between May and Harry continued.
All the way up until-
“Seven pairs of boxers?!”
Looking smug behind her glass of wine, May smiled. “I told you.”
“But- - why?”
“It’s called having good hygiene.” She rolled her eyes, accepting the plate from Athena a moment later.
“Yeah, but- - I mean- - seven?” Harry still sounded flabbergasted. “That’s- - is that not- - that must be too much. Right?”
Holding up her hands, Athena sighed. “I don’t think I need to be included in this conversation.”
“Well, I don’t think we need to be continuing this conversation.” May sat up, reaching for Athena’s hand. Ready to say Grace. “Now- - can we please just forget about it and eat?”
Nodding, Harry sheepishly put his phone away before joining both his mother and sister at the dinner table. Holding onto Athena’s other hand before they said their thanks. And even now, a little over a year on, Harry still couldn’t help but watch the empty seat beside him, as if Bobby would miraculously appear.
There had been many times throughout the first year of Bobby’s death where Harry wished Bobby would turn up out of the blue. That he’d wake up one day to Bobby cooking breakfast, waiting for him with that gentle smile plastered across his face.
The hope flared whenever Harry was on shift, too. Somewhere deep down, whenever the bell would ring, Harry hoped it was for Bobby. That he was still out there, still holding on.
It was stupid and Harry understood that.
But that hope continued to live within him, always lingering beneath the surface.
“What time is your flight?”
Harry’s head turned back toward Athena, her voice breaking through the barrier and snapping him back to reality.
“Noon.” May finished her bite. “Are you sure you don’t mind driving us?”
“Not at all.” Athena spoke almost instantly, holding out a hand. “We’ll leave after breakfast.”
Pausing, May tilted her head. “And what time is that?”
“Uh- - eight?”
Harry laughed then. “Ravi’s going to suggest taking an Uber.”
“What?” Athena looked toward her son. “Why?”
“He’s kind of a time-freak, mom.” May shook her head affectionately. “He’ll be paranoid about missing our flights.”
Athena huffed out a quiet laugh in the next moment. “If it’ll make Ravi feel better, we’ll leave earlier.”
“You sure?”
“Positive.” She confirmed, smiling at May. “Tell him to be ready by seven.”
Nodding, May took out her phone. “You know, if we leave at six thirty we could get one of those fancy coffee’s you like..”
Athena clicked her tongue. “Fine.”
It grew quiet again, all before Harry chuckled to himself. “Do you remember when you and Bobby dropped me off at the airport? Back when I lived with dad in Miami?”
May couldn’t help but laugh before the words even formed. “You mean the time Bobby made us get to the airport four hours early and it wasn’t until we actually got to checking did he realise we were at a different airport?”
“He was so embarrassed.” Harry laughed, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t think I’d ever seen him go that shade of red before.”
Athena took a sip of wine to smother her laugh, allowing both her children to have the moment.
“He went full on Fire Captain after that.” May shook her head. “I mean- - he was barking out orders as if we were heading out onto a scene.”
Harry let out a long sigh, trying to regain some composure before, “He got us there, though.”
“With eleven minutes to spare.” Athena finally chimed in, remembering that morning as if it was yesterday. The smile upon her face not quite reaching her eyes. “May and I waited in the car while he took you through boarding.”
“We ran for like six straight minutes.” Harry chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “He wouldn’t let us stop until I got through.”
May giggled once more. “That sounds about right.”
“He did it, though.” Athena said, just quieter this time. The tone within her voice catching the attention of May and Harry. “He would’ve done anything for you. For the both of you.”
“I think he proved that many times.” May reached for Athena’s hand again, the memories of when dispatch caught on fire flooded May’s mind. “Don’t you?”
Athena sniffled, and it caught her by surprise. “Yeah.”
Harry spoke next, and it wasn’t something both Athena and May expected. “I miss him.”
“Me, too.” The younger woman whispered, though a faint smile remained upon her face. “But- - I miss talking about him like this. The happy memories. Not the sad.”
It felt like something had cracked a little inside Athena. Like the boards she’d put up, the ones that were protecting those memories had been pried open.
And it hurt.
It stung.
“I know it’s hard-“
The scraping of Athena’s chair cut May off, eyes snapping upward.
“Mom?”
Athena shook her head. “I just need a minute.”
“Wait- - I didn’t mean to upset you!” She tried reaching out for her, but Athena avoided May’s touch as if it would burn. “Mom-“
“You didn’t, baby.” Athena whispered, not trusting her voice. “I’ll be back. I just- - give me a minute. Okay?”
It grew silent, then.
With Athena hiding away within her bedroom, May and Harry remained at the table. The both of them sitting in the quiet as the guilt bloomed within them.
A sigh left Harry’s lips, his head hung low. “I didn’t think she’d still be like this.”
“Some days are better than others.” May offered a small shrug. “Maybe she’s just having a bad day?”
“Yeah.” Harry agreed, picking at a piece of tomato. “Maybe.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Harry looked up at his sister. “Neither did you.”
“I know.” May told him, even if she didn’t quite believe him. “Mom just needed a minute.”
Again, Harry nodded. “She’ll be okay.”
“Yeah.” May breathed out, forcing a slight smile before looking away once more. “She will.”
- - - - -
Athena leaned back against the car, watching as Ravi assisted May with the bags.
The young man refusing to let May push the cart, which only earned him a pout and an eye roll Athena knew too well. The independence shining through, even in the smallest of moments. And yet, May had seemed to find someone who knew exactly how to work around that.
The entire scene was bitterly familiar.
“Is that everything?” Athena asked after another moment, pushing herself off of the car. “Nothing left on the seats?”
Ravi patted the cart, offering a smile. “Nope. We got everything.”
“Even your phone?”
Suddenly, Ravi’s face seemed burn as he reached out, and took his cellphone Athena. “You’re good.”
“She’s experienced with living with Harry.” May huffed a laugh, sidestepping around him. “It comes with years of triple checking everything.”
Ravi chuckled gently. “That I believe. It’s like having two Buck’s.”
“They do seem to have fallen from the same tree.” Athena agreed with a smile, reaching for May’s arm. “Chimney sure has his work cut out for him.”
Another laugh escaped Ravi before the young man took a step back. Allowing for May to have a moment with her mom before they’d have to go.
“Are you all set?”
“I think so.” May nodded, though a hesitant smile crept upon her face.
Athena picked up on it in an instant. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Athena blinked, a slight puff of air escaping her lips. “What?”
“Are you okay?” May asked again, looking into Athena’s eyes. “Last night- - I didn’t want to pressure you into talking if you weren’t up to it. Especially in front of Harry, I just-“
Tutting, Athena reached out for May’s hand. Clasping it inside her own. “I’m fine, baby. I promise. It was just- - I was having a little moment, that’s all.”
Still, May looked guilty. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Shaking her head, Athena looked into May’s eyes. “Neither of you upset me, May. Not a single bit.”
For the moment, May didn’t say anything. The silence doing all of the talking as it settled around them. Filling in the cracks.
“Some days-“ Taking a deep breath, Athena closed her eyes for a brief second. “Some days speaking about him is harder than others.”
May swallowed the lump forming within her throat. “Even the good memories.”
“Especially the good memories.”
“I’m sorry-“
“No.” Athena shook her head, a palm coming up to cradle May’s face. “Don’t do that, baby. Don’t apologise for that. He was part of your life, too. And you deserve- - you’re allowed to talk about him. I want you to talk about him.”
May’s eyes glossed over as she answered. “Okay.”
“I promise you, alright?” She pulled May in for hug, holding her daughter close. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you, mom.” May whispered, burying herself a little further into Athena’s embrace. And for a quick moment, May felt as if she was a little girl again. Needing to be wrapped up in the arms of her mother, where she could be protected from all those big, ugly feelings that threatened to break in.
“Uh- - not to be that guy-“
Athena let out a watery chuckle against May’s shoulder. Her eyes opening to see Ravi standing sheepishly by the luggage cart.
“We’ve got time, Ravi.” May sniffled, wiping her cheeks. “In fact- - we have over three hours until boarding.”
Ravi held his hands up. “You asked me to come, remember?”
“He’s got you there, baby.” Athena patted May’s arm, all before she finally let her go. “Now, you be safe. Okay? Both of you. No heroics.”
May rolled her eyes affectionately, while Ravi laughed. Slipping his arms around his girlfriends shoulders in the next moment. “I’ll keep her safe.”
“I know you will.” Athena nodded, taking a step back. “Text me when you land, okay?”
That, May scoffed at. “Oh, please- - like you’re not going to be checking my location, anyway.”
“Now, who says I can’t have both?”
With another chuckle, May blew her a kiss. “Love you, mom.”
“Love you.” Athena smiled, leaning against her car as she finally watched the both of them walk off toward the entrance of the airport. And even now, with the day having barely started, it didn’t take long before May and Ravi were blending in the ever-growing crowd of people. Disappearing from view completely.
And so, with a sigh leaving her mouth, Athena opened up the car door and slid in. Reaching for her aviators, and turning on the engine. Preparing herself for the journey back to downtown LA.
Ready for a new day to begin.
- - - - -
Katie had just finished her shift when she saw him.
Frail. Scruffy. Scraggily.
He looked like the kind of man her mother would tell her to stay away from. The kind that, as a woman, you’re raised to be weary of. To avoid. No matter the cost. It didn’t matter if he smiled or if he opened the door for you.
If he looked like a threat, he probably was.
And even as a thirty four year old woman, those thoughts still lingered. They still flashed up whenever Katie laid eyes on someone who fit the image her mother had taught her. Not to say they were particularly wrong, though, Katie had also met more than a few creeps who wore suits and paid the bill on first dates.
Because, at the end of the day, a man is still a man. No matter what clothing lay upon his body or how wide his smile.
The door to the store closed behind her. The ringing of the bell echoing inside as Katie locked up, looking inside to double check no lights were left on. A habit the young woman had picked up early on in life, anxious that her brain had been playing tricks on itself.
Today though, everything seemed to be as Katie thought it was. Tidy, quiet and ready for Lauren to open up first thing. Just as she’d asked it to be. Meaning, that Katie could go home, open up a bottle of wine and take a nice bubble bath. Something that had been on her mind since she’d opened up her eyes that morning, already wanting the day to be over with.
However, it soon dawned on Katie that her evening would be turning out a little differently once she saw him. Slouched beside her car, the only one that seemed to be left in the parking lot.
A huff had left her hips before she cursed. Not being able to believe the irony.
With eyes still on the man, Katie reached for the pepper spray which dangled off her keys. The one disguised as purell, ready to use if and when she needed to. In a hurry. In discreet.
“Uh- - excuse me?”
Katie had called out to him, her voice strong but the uncertainty of it crept through.
“Can I help you?”
She watched as the man barely registered her. Hardly making a move.
Upon getting closer, she could see his face clearer. His pale skin reflecting from the street light, highlighting the scrawniness of his cheeks. The bags underneath his bloodshot eyes. The man, whoever he was, looked like he’d crawled out of hell and barely survived the journey.
“Sir?” Katie called again, though this time, it was more out of worry than fear. “Are you okay?”
The man’s head shook enough for Katie to register it. Even if no words followed.
“Do you need me to call someone?”
Again, the man barely moved. Continuing to lean on the hood of Katie’s car as if it was the only thing keeping him up right. Bruised and scabbed hands turning white as the clawed onto the vehicle, trying to stop himself from slipping back down.
When Katie got close enough, the smell hit her.
The rich, oaky smell of bourbon.
It was strong. Fresh. As if the man had been doused in it.
It caused Katie to step back, her free hand coming up to cover her nose. “Have you been hurt?”
“Cold.”
The first word he muttered was one Katie hadn’t of expected.
And the second was just as surprising.
“Wet.”
She looked closer, trying to see where the man was wet. “I-I don’t see water.”
“No.” The man mumbled, as if he was just getting his strength back. “Blood.”
Immediately, Katie’s eyes grew wide. “What?”
“Blood.” His speech sounded slurred now. Even from one word. “Police.”
Frantically, Katie dropped her keys back inside her purse and swapped them for her phone. Dialling up 911 as fast as her trembling fingers would allow, all while trying not to drop the phone. Within minutes, words tumbled out of her mouth.
The scenario, the location, her name.
The dispatcher calm, just as you’d expect them to be. Even when Katie wasn’t.
She wasn’t used to this and it showed, especially when it came to forming words all while eyes never left the man in front of her.
It didn’t take long for the sirens to be heard, just as the dispatcher had said. Eyes landing on the flash of blue and red, swarming the empty parking lot before the paramedics jumped out. Med kits in hand, boots stomping across the concrete.
It wasn’t until the police arrived did Katie snap back into the reality she’d walked into. A man, late thirties, early forties appearing in front of her. Kind eyes, warm smile. The kind that had been practised over the years. The kind that got people to open up, to share the details.
Which is exactly what Katie found herself doing.
She’s told them everything. All that she knew about the man and the situation she’d found herself in. Trying to recall everything as best she could, all while the police officer listened. All with the commotion happening around her. The paramedics moving around frantically, shouting out medical terms Katie didn’t understand before the ambulance was fired up and the stretcher was brought out. The man Katie had come across being taken away, all within a few minutes.
As if he wasn’t there at all.
The scene was wrapped up fairly quickly after that. Police cars began to dissipate, leaving the parking lot dark and empty just as it was before. All with Katie in the midst of it, confused and almost traumatised with what she’d just experienced.
The officer in front of her was still speaking, updating Katie on what would happen next. When she’ll be contacted, but she wasn’t listening. Not really. Instead, Katie was thinking about the man she’d just helped, wondering who he was, where he’d come from. As someone who lives the same life every day, Katie had never seen him before.
It was odd.
Maybe a little too odd.
And yet, unbeknownst to Katie, it was only going get worse.