Archive of Our Own

Noah:   Is it just me, or do the clouds look weird tonight?
Jonas:  No idea. I’ll let you know when I’m in position.
Noah:   Move faster or you’ll miss them.
Jonas:  Trying. I haven’t been inside this place in over a decade, maybe longer. I forgot how much of a maze it is.
Noah:   I enjoy the library. It’s not difficult to navigate if you know how to read.
Jonas:  Maybe it’s easier when you’re navigating it in the middle of the day. I’m almost there now, did you say you left the bag under the window?
Noah:   There’s a desk with some textbooks on it. The bag is underneath it.
Jonas:  I think I see the desk. By the window?
Noah:   That's the one. I left you a surprise on top. Please confirm if you see it.

Jonas:  Wow. Awesome. Good artwork.
Noah:   Do you like it?
Jonas:  Is this hand-drawn? You must be one of the best artists in the apocalypse.
Noah:   You’re welcome. Hey, look up? Look out the window? Check it out.
Jonas:  Oh, yeah, I see what you mean about the clouds.
Noah:   Weird, right? They’re so low tonight. I think that if I could get onto the roof, I could probably touch them. That would be cool.
Jonas:  I thought your guy said the path to the roof was completely blocked off?
Noah:   Yeah, there are half a dozen desks piled up on the stairs on my level. All of the offices I passed by were empty.
Jonas:  What about the elevator?
Noah:   All of the chairs are in there.
Jonas:  Ah.
Noah:   Why do you think someone would want to block roof access in a medical centre downtown? It’s not as if the roof is dangerous.
Jonas:  Same reason someone would block the elevator and then trash a public library, I guess. Can’t help themselves. Just looking to send the world a message.
Noah:   At least they left most of the books alone. I pulled a couple of good ones for you.
Jonas:  I noticed.

Noah:   Is something wrong?
Jonas:  No, why?
Noah:   It worries me when you go silent.
Jonas:  What are you worried about?
Noah:   Your current position, firstly. You’re the one who stressed the importance of staying low and out of sight, right? If I can see you clearly in the window with only the light from a half-moon, so can an entire paramilitary convoy.
Jonas:  One, it’s the middle of the night. Two, I’m on the second floor. Believe me, nobody’s going to notice me here.
Noah:   I can see you.
Jonas:  That's the point.

Noah:   You know, if I wanted it, you’d be dead already.
Jonas:  Good luck with that.
Noah:   You understand what I mean. If I thought you were a threat to me, I could take you out here and now.
Jonas:  Guess I’m lucky you don’t want to take me out.
Noah:   You don’t know that.

Noah:   If you look up from there, can you see m—
Jonas:  —Ep. Yes, I can see you very clearly.
Noah:   Can you see me, too, or just my rifle?
Jonas:  You understand that if one of us is going to give away his position and get shot, it’s probably going to be the one aiming his gun at everything around him, right? Not the guy who’s only visible from a vantage point three storeys up across the street.
Noah:   Better for them to shoot at my gun than my head. Nobody’s going to see me, though. You’re closest to the ground, so I think they’ll shoot you first.
Jonas:  That’s the idea.
Noah:   Uff.

Noah:   Do you think it was a good idea for us to split up?
Jonas:  You know I can hear you clearly from across the street even without the radios, yeah? You’d be too loud in my position. The minute the convoy starts rolling through, they’ll need to—
Noah:   You think I’m loud enough to be a liability? Even though I offered to take the most dangerous spot in the library?
Jonas:  I appreciate the offer, but I need you where you are.

Noah:   I know you need me. I have my eye on you. Don’t ever forget.
Jonas:  Couldn’t if I wanted to.

Jonas:  It’s pretty quiet down here. I can’t see anything happening in the direction of the camp and I’m not picking anything up on the receiver. Either we’ve got the wrong channel, or they’re waiting to radio at first light like we thought.
Noah:   I trust the intel.
Jonas:  My bet’s on that, too. You have eyes on anything?
Noah:   Just you.
Jonas:  Great. I’m going to try to get some sleep while I can. I’ll keep the receiver on. Should know the minute things start to kick up.
Noah:   [SIGH] Sleeping in an abandoned library sounds peaceful.
Jonas:  It is peaceful.
Noah:   Do you want me to join you? In case something happens over the next few hours?
Jonas:  I think that you should try to close your eyes and find your own peaceful place exactly where you are now.
Noah:   Message received.

Noah:   It’s a little lonely up here, though. This place makes me feel strange.
Jonas:  It’s lonely everywhere, man. [SIGH] Just wake me up if you see any movement.
Noah:   Understood. Goodnight, Jonas.
Jonas:  Night.

Noah:   Do you actually think that’s true? That everywhere is lonely? It seems like a sad way to think about the world.

Noah:   Hypothetical: if you were locked into an existence of complete isolation and suffering, why would you volunteer for a two-man stake-out that requires each man to be as far apart as possible?

Jonas:  Speaking hypothetically: you make being requested for your skills sound like a grave insult.
Noah:   Speaking factually, I am insulted.
Jonas:  Sorry. Next time I’ll make sure it’s a solo mission.
Noah:   As if you’d do anything like this without me. You want to steal a supply truck by yourself? Dangle your rifle in empty space like an exhibitionist? As if. Next time you try this maneuver, you’ll be begging me to join you while you pretend to sleep and read… what is that, is that the picture book I left you?
Jonas:  I’ll be begging you to stop staring at me from across the street like a total creep.
Noah:   Heh.

Noah:   Maybe I should cross the street. Come to the library for a little while. I can stare at you in person if—
Jonas:  Maybe you shouldn’t.
Noah:   You’re right. I can just think about you falling asleep in a pile of disintegrating books instead. Can’t see you anymore, so I need to imagine it. I bet the picture book is inspiring.

Jonas:  Did you know that you can think about anything in the world that you want?
Noah:   Really?
Jonas:  You don’t have to think about me.
Noah:   Mmm… I think you’re mostly right. There are some things I can’t allow myself to think about. Some things the world doesn’t seem to want to let me consider.
Jonas:  Is joining a parish one?
Noah:   Damn. I don’t know if I love the idea of that.
Jonas:  So don't do it.
Noah:   [SIGH] Supposedly it’s true that thinking something into existence is possible, so I think about… a different future. Try to think less about other realities and truths.
Jonas:  I know the feeling. Guess some things are just better left alone sometimes.
Noah:   Like you in a library.
Jonas:  I didn’t say... maybe ‘better’ isn’t the right word. Do you want to talk about them?
Noah:   Talk about what?
Jonas:  Nothing. Forget it.

Noah:   Hypothetical: if you’re not better when you’re alone, does that mean you’re better with someone else?

Jonas:  I don’t believe anyone is better when they’re alone.

Jonas:  That’s why I brought you.

Noah:   Hypothetically?

Noah:   Maybe I should come down to the library. Just to—
Jonas:  Goodnight, Noah.

Noah:   Did you believe what you said? Did you actually mean it?
Jonas:  [SIGH] Mean what?
Noah:   What you said to me just now.
Jonas:  Which part?
Noah:   That you want me here because it’s better than being alone. Is that the truth you’re manifesting?

Jonas:  You can’t ignore my questions and expect to get answers of your own.
Noah:   I didn’t ignore anything.
Jonas:  You just did. I asked you earlier if—
Noah:   Ask me any question. I’ll answer truthfully for you. I always do.
Jonas:  What if I don’t want to know anything about you now?
Noah:   I don’t believe that.
Jonas:  I don’t care what you believe. Maybe that’s what I’ve manifested.
Noah:   —T's not.
Jonas:  You sound pretty confident.
Noah:   I believe you want to know more about me. You want to keep me close for a reason. I’m not the only person you know who can use a rifle and a radio.

Jonas:  You’re good company. It’s not that complicated.
Noah:   Would it complicate things if I requested an official location transfer?
Jonas:  Where would you even transfer to?
Noah:   Someplace closer to you.
Jonas:  You don’t need to be closer to me.
Noah:   Does it complicate things if I am?
Jonas:  If you [UNINTELLIGIBLE] Noah, I need you to cover me from above. You’re exactly where I want you to be to do that.
Noah:   I’m neither too close, nor too far.
Jonas:  Precisely. You’re not too far away, and you’re close enough, understood? I know the medical centre’s creepy and haunted, or whatever, but you’re perfect where you are.

Noah:   Does my current position make you feel more secure in yours?
Jonas:  It does.
Noah:   Do you mind that I can see you any time I want?
Jonas:  No.

Noah:   Good to know.

Jonas:  I really thought you’d like having the high ground.
Noah:   I do.
Jonas:  You’re better with a rifle than anyone I know. The distance is what makes you so effective. I trust you to do what needs to be done when I get on the ground. You’ll see things that I won’t. I don’t worry when you’re covering me.
Noah:   Naturally. Understood.

Noah:   Does that mean that if I had a different skill set, you would want me closer to your position?
Jonas:  I dunno. Probably.
Noah:   Probably?
Jonas:  I’d probably want you closer, yeah.
Noah:   Why are you saying it like you don’t want me closer?
Jonas:  The longer you keep me from sleeping, the further away I want you to be.
Noah:   Got it. To clarify, how close do you want me right now?
Jonas:  You really wanna come over that badly?
Noah:   Hm… I’d come if you asked me to.

Jonas:  So abandon your post. What’s stopping you?

Noah:   [SIGH] I put in a transfer request and it was denied.
Jonas:  How cruel. Now you’re stuck up there until someone approves your request to come down.
Noah:   Completely alone. Vulnerable. Suffering.
Jonas:  That sounds so sad.
Noah:   Mmmhm.

Jonas:  Hypothetical: what would it take for you to disobey an order?
Noah:   Oh. I couldn’t. That would be…

Jonas:  Be…?

Noah:   Mm, maybe I should.
Jonas:  You could try, at least.
Noah:   Would I get in trouble?
Jonas:  With whom?
Noah:   I don’t know. I’ve never disobeyed an order before.
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] Really?
Noah:   This is serious, Jonas.
Jonas:  I can tell.
Noah:   I don’t want to abandon my post. Someone might need my help. From a distance. A highly specific distance.
Jonas:  What if… uh… what if someone needs your help from a distance already?
Noah:   Oh, I didn’t think of that. Maybe I should leave after all.
Jonas:  Where would you go?
Noah:   There’s a place across the street. I heard it’s peaceful. Nice place to sleep.
Jonas:  Is it occupied?
Noah:   I think it is. I’ll find out soon. I’m already on my way to it.
Jonas:  Really?
Noah:   Maybe. Maybe not. Are you going to tell anyone if I desert?

Jonas:  No. Just be extremely careful when you come. There might be someone waiting for you here.
Noah:   Do you think someone might be waiting to kill me?
Jonas:  Hard to say for sure. I can try to find out. What else do you want to know?
Noah:   Are you—
Jonas:  Uh... repeat that?
Noah:   Are you safe?
Jonas:  I think so. I hope so.
Noah:   Is anyone in the room with you?
Jonas:  No. Not yet. But now I don’t know if I can sleep.
Noah:   Are you afraid?
Jonas:  I was. I called in some reinforcements, though, so I feel a little better.
Noah:   Good. Someone should be there to keep you safe.
Jonas:  Keep the peace.
Noah:   Yeah. To protect you.

Jonas:  I guess I could use the company. In theory.
Noah:   I thought so.

Noah:   Is the library cold? Warm?
Jonas:  Musty. There’s a lot of mold. Dust everywhere. Temperature’s moderate.
Noah:   Hm. Environmental contamination risk?
Jonas:  I am sleeping on the floor, so…
Noah:   Oh. I’ve seen that situation before. Could be dangerous if you’re not careful.
Jonas:  What do you recommend?
Noah:   It depends. What are you wearing right now?
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] Uh…
Noah:   —S important, Jonas.
Jonas:  Yeah, okay.
Noah:   Are you wearing… gloves?
Jonas:  If I am, would you recommend I remove them?
Noah:   Yeah, just to be safe.
Jonas:  Understood. Gloves coming off.
Noah:   You’re not wearing gloves, are you?
Jonas:  Not now.

Jonas:  Any other recommendations?
Noah:   I still don’t know what you’re wearing.
Jonas:  Can’t you see what I’m wearing?
Noah:   It’s dark up here. A cloud moved into a bad position over the moon. Just describe it for me.
Jonas:  I don’t know. A jacket.
Noah:   Are you wearing anything underneath it?
Jonas:  Yeah.
Noah:   You should probably take it off. Can’t risk mold growth between the layers.
Jonas:  There’s a lot of dust on the floor.
Noah:   It’s the same up here. You want to know what I did about it?
Jonas:  I thought you were on your way over to the library.

Jonas:  Noah?
Noah:   It’s kind of warm for June, don’t you think?
Jonas:  Yeah, it is.
Noah:   I didn’t think it was going to be so hot tonight.
Jonas:  Maybe you should… take off your jacket, too.
Noah:   Already did. You?
Jonas:  Yeah. No mold. No dust.
Noah:   Still warm?
Jonas:  Yeah, a little.
Noah:   You may need to take something else off.
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] Request acknowledged. Please advise.
Noah:   If I could see you, I’d be able to make a… more adequate recommendation.
Jonas:  If you’re on your way, you’ll know soon enough. You are coming, right?
Noah:   Definitely.
Jonas:  So I’m not looking directly at your scope right now?
Noah:   No. Keep your head down.
Jonas:  I heard you the first time. Can't you see what I'm wear—
Noah:   I had to take some things off.

Jonas:  What things?
Noah:   —Of them. Heat rises this time of year, you know.
Jonas:  I’ve heard. So… what are you wearing now?
Noah:   I bet you’d love to know.

Jonas:  You’re supposed to keep me updated on any changes to your condition.
Noah:   Understood. I may be overheating.
Jonas:  Still?
Noah:   Better now. Lots of bare s—
Jonas:  Hopefully it's protected from dust.
Noah:   Just sweaty. It's getting quite humid over here.
Jonas:  That sounds… unsanitary.
Noah:   It’s all a little bit of a biohazard, but my hands are clean. Or at least they were. One of them is a little dirty.
Jonas:  What about the other one?
Noah:   It’s… [SIGH] staying busy.
Jonas:  Busy… cleaning dirt off your clothes?
Noah:   Yeah. Sure.
Jonas:  How's that going?
Noah:   Good. It could clean yours if you need help.
Jonas:  I might need help. I’ve never…
Noah:   —Someone’s clothes before? It’s easy. I could show you how.
Jonas:  I’d enjoy that.
Noah:   Yeah?
Jonas:  Yeah.
Noah:   I could use an extra hand along with mine.
Jonas:  Are both of your hands busy now?
Noah:   Yeah. Got a lot of special equipment to hold.
Jonas:  Is the equipment… uh…

Jonas:  Too heavy for you to hold?
Noah:   I can deal with it for now. The extra support would be appreciated.
Jonas:  Maybe when you get here, I can help you.
Noah:   That’d be good. Yeah.
Jonas:  Mmhm.
Noah:   You could hold some of my equipment for me.
Jonas:  [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Noah:   Didn’t catch that, please repeat.
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] I could hold your equipment.
Noah:   Mmm. I don’t know if I trust your soft hands.
Jonas:  You can trust them. They’re clean. And... strong enough.
Noah:   I’m certain.
Jonas:  You can see for yours—
Noah:   I’ll need to make sure they’re clean. Would you mind if I put them in my mouth?
Jonas:  [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Noah:   [LAUGHTER]
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] Okay, are you really coming over? Should I wait up for you?
Noah:   Are you waiting for me now?
Jonas:  Yeah. I am. I think you should come.
Noah:   Instructions unclear. Please repeat.
Jonas:  I think you should come.
Noah:   Please repeat.
Jonas:  I think you—oh, fuck off.
Noah:   [LAUGHTER]

Jonas:  You should come, Noah.

Noah:   Mmm. Yeah. Okay. I’ll come if you want.
Jonas:  Don’t take too long.
Noah:   —Pretty close already. Won’t be long.
Jonas:  How long should I wait?
Noah:   —Minutes, maybe.
Jonas:  A—a few minutes?
Noah:   Could be closer than that.
Jonas:  How close are you?
Noah:   [SIGH] Jonas.

Jonas:  [UNINTELLIGIBLE] You sound [UNINTELLIGIBLE] Shit, sorry, fucking radio. Are you—
Noah:   Still here. Ready to receive instructions.
Jonas:  God. You want me to—
Noah:   Oh, yeah.
Jonas:  Anything?
Noah:   —So fucking good. You think anyone else can hear this right now?
Jonas:  Fuck, I hope not.
Noah:   You don’t want someone else to hear you like a dog in heat?
Jonas:  No, this is…
Noah:   Risky?
Jonas:  Yeah.
Noah:   We can switch channels in case—
Jonas:  We don’t need to.
Noah:   Good. I want you to talk to me. Just me. Just a little longer.
Jonas:  What would you have done if I went to sleep earlier?
Noah:   Same thing. Just without your participation.
Jonas:  [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Noah:   Yeah, thought you’d like that. Would it bother you if I kept talking while you were asleep? Would it excite you to wake up and hear me?
Jonas:  I’d want to hear it.
Noah:   You wanna hear—
Jonas:  Yeah.
Noah:   Wanna hear my voice?
Jonas:  Yeah. Fuck.
Noah:   I won’t make you ask. You can listen. Close your eyes.
Jonas:  They’re already—
Noah:   I know. Slow down, Jonas.
Jonas:  Are you—fuck, are you watching me? I can’t—
Noah:   Settle down. You’re not done. I’m not done.
Jonas:  [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
Noah:   Listen to me, Jonas.

Jonas:  I hear you.
Noah:   Good. Listen closely. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Jonas:  [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Noah:   [UNINTELLIGIBLE] You listening?
Jonas:  God, yeah.
Noah:   —Still hot, Jonas?
Jonas:  Uh huh.
Noah:   Me too. Me too. It’s so hot up here.
Jonas:  Can you see me through your scope?
Noah:   [LAUGHTER] I can hear you across the street. Speak up.
Jonas:  Noah.
Noah:   Good boy. Let me hear you.
Jonas:  [UNINTELLIGIBLE] Fuck, I… can you…
Noah:   —Want something? Want me to do something for you?
Jonas:  Please.
Noah:   Is that an order, sir?
Jonas:  It’s a fucking… oh, God, I—
Noah:   Tell me to come right now and I’ll fucking do it.
Jonas:  Oh, shit. Oh, fuck, Noah. [UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Noah:   [LAUGHTER] [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

Noah:   Still with me?
Jonas:  Yeah. You?
Noah:   Obviously. Why are you so out of breath?
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER]
Noah:   [LAUGHTER]
Jonas:  I guess we can’t all have as much stamina and endurance as you.
Noah:   What exactly are you enduring at this time of night?
Jonas:  You.
Noah:   I’m sorry for the suffering I’ve caused you. I’ll do us both a favour and turn down your invitation next time.
Jonas:  No, you won’t.
Noah:   Nah.
Jonas:  I, uh. I do like having you around.
Noah:   I know that.
Jonas:  You know a lot of interesting things, don’t you?
Noah:   I know a few interesting things.

Jonas:  Well. I should probably clean up and get some sleep.
Noah:   Clean what, the library books?
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] What kind of pervert do you think I am?
Noah:   I know what material you’ve got on the desk. I’m not accusing you of doing anything I wouldn’t personally do with it.
Jonas:  I don’t think the books are necessary.

Jonas:  Hey. Can you still see me?
Noah:   Hold on, let me get my rifle.

Noah:   What am I looking at? What do you have on your hand?
Jonas:  Biohazard.
Noah:   Wha—oh, wo—

Noah:   Jonas Kahnwald.

Jonas:  I’d like to remind you that you suggested it first.
Noah:   Holy shit.
Jonas:  I’m just cleaning up my mess. Don’t you need to do the same?
Noah:   I didn’t make a mess like that.
Jonas:  Yeah, okay. I believe you.
Noah:   Fuck, that’s hot. Were you actually…?
Jonas:  What?
Noah:   Did you really… did you jack off down there while I was talking to you?
Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] Did you have your eyes closed, too? I’ve been staring at your scope lens in the moonlight for the last five minutes.
Noah:   My rifle’s been in the window alone this whole time. I thought we were just having a nice conversation.
Jonas:  You’re a shit liar.
Noah:   I was jogging in place. Wasn’t even in the room. Can you—wait, do that again?

Noah:   Shit. Fuck, that’s hot.
Jonas:  Yeah, I thought so. So you weren’t jacking off?
Noah:   No, but I am now.
Jonas:  Obviously. And what am I supposed to believe you were doing up there before now?

Jonas:  Noah, don’t fuck with me. What were you doing that entire time?
Noah:   [YAWN] Sorry, I was thinking about your strong, clean hands just now. What was the question?

Jonas:  Unbelievable. At least put your rifle away before you fall asleep.
Noah:   Can’t. I need to clean it first.
Jonas:  Tell me that’s a euphemism. Or—ugh, never mind. I’m turning this thing off. Sleep well, I’ll see you in the morning.

Noah:   —That an order, sir? Or do you want me to—
Jonas:  I want you to have a terrible, shitty night. Go clean your rifle.

Noah:   Understood, sir. I’ll be ready to discharge it again first thing in the morning. Would you like a detailed report?

Jonas:  [LAUGHTER] This is so stupid.
Noah:   What? I take my duty seriously. I intend to spend the next two hours performing routine maintenance on all of my equipment. Deep, thorough cl—
Jonas:  —Kay. You do that.
Noah:   I’m cleaning it right now. Should I describe it for you?
Jonas:  Goodnight, Noah.
Noah:   I wish you could see what I’m—
Jonas:  Sleep well.
Noah:   I plan to.

Jonas:  Actually, uh… are you staying up there?
Noah:   Say again?
Jonas:  Are you staying where you are for the whole night? In the medical centre?
Noah:   Yeah, I thought that was the plan.
Jonas:  Definitely. Still is. Just checking.
Noah:   You think we should reconsider our strategy before tomorrow?
Jonas:  No.
Noah:   Are you asking me to come over for real?
Jonas:  No, I—
Noah:   You should. I will. You just have to ask.
Jonas:  Uh… [SIGH] No. No, stay where you are. Just for tonight.
Noah:   Understood. Let me know if you need anything.
Jonas:  I will. 

Jonas:  Goodnight, Noah.
Noah:   Goodnight, Jonas.

Noah:   I can still see you from my position.

Jonas:  I can see the moon from mine.