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it feels like forever, over your shoulder

Summary:

Baelor Targaryen survives the Tourney at Ashford. His survival brings to a boil the grief that had long been sequestered between the two brothers.

 

Or, letters are exchanged.

Notes:

GODS ABOVE i hope this works, okay so i had this in my drafts For a while™. EVER since i saw that fic from the HR fandom, i was like man, i wanna do that AND BITCH I DID.

it's not perfect and clean cut as that one but it's mine, and shout out to my irl comp sci friends, whatever would i do without your help

let me know if something is wonky or not showing. Best results would be using chrome prolly on desktop but mobile should be working. Also your own site skin might be messing with the formatting so yeah .

You're supposed to tap on the letter if on phone, and hover on it if on laptop, you can scroll through the letters lmk if anything comes up. Including grammatical errors.

If you want to close the letter, click or tap on any other part of the screen outside of it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I

Baelor Targaryen
Heir to the Iron Throne
Hand of the King

 

 

 

Maekar Targaryen
Prince of Summerhall

Dear brother,

King's Landing has been quiet in these past few days, I have been told. Those yellow and blue flowers are late to bloom. The gardener says it's a bad omen; you can imagine how father might have gently countered that. Mortality is unconquerable even by the Blood of the Dragon, but I say that is the beauty of life, carried in the vessel of death. Father heeds news from my own royal correspondence.

There has been news of a strange illness upon seafarers in Driftmark; 'tis said, no malady may meet a fiercer match to the illness borne by those suffering in the island.

Since I write from Dragonstone, the little port town here has already been closed off, and I am left to ruminate, my dear brother, over our most disagreeable fashion of parting at Ashford, in the last few turns of the moon.

You think my actions are a betrayal of the family, very well. Do you also contend withal that had Aerion won, our family would be better for it? For my rule? For our rule? I loathe my hand when it picked up a sword against your shield in earnest. I may jest and say it was a little different from our days in the courtyard, away from Ser Quentyn Bell's instructions, but I am not fond of being against you.

Brother, you know of this. It's been... long since we were faced with adversities that kept us apart. Your ire tends to gather heat with time than cool, like a summer that blazes endlessly. I hope you may find it in your heart to write to me, a brother who has always looked over you as affectionately as your memories would testify to.

I would counsel you to guard Summerhall's gates from travellers who may visit. We should be wary of unseen disasters and prepare accordingly. As you look after the well-being of your estates, might I ask you to look further North and write an answer to your Lord brother?

Be well,
Your Brother,

Baelor Targaryen

 

II

Maekar Targaryen
Prince of Summerhall

 

 

 

Baelor Targaryen
Heir to the Iron Throne

Lord Hand,

I have taken your counsel in looking after my estates. Would that be all, Your Grace?

Regards,
Prince of Summerhall,

Maekar Targaryen

 

III

Baelor Targaryen
Heir to the Iron Throne

Hand of the King

 

 

 

Maekar Targaryen
Prince of Summerhall

Brother,

The illness spreads in a manner most odd. I have heard that men who may catch it at dusk, in their dancing at taverns, are dead by first light, but those who survive past a day recover swiftly. Lannisport has begun to see reports of numbers beyond what was anticipated, and no maester has found cause for it yet.

Aemon has been writing to me; his accounts are astute and cautious, and he tells me to stay in Dragonstone until the sickness passes.

I dare say his open compassion touches my heart, difficult as it is to stand as a receiver from his sire.

Maekar, you left without speaking to me.

You left the retinue with assistants of your own, charging Egg to the service of Ser Duncan as squire on the road. All these decisions I have accepted in their silent wisdom, but it is unlike you to have done so without seeking my opinion. Perish the thought before it enters; I know you do not need me opining over your shoulder, you must know what I mean.

You are my brother, my blood, we have shared our childhood, our first instances in most everything, and you will hold onto this? If your ire has known no harbour, I present my letters to sue for peace between us.

I do not rest well, hearing of how you brood your time away in Summerhall.

Write to me, little brother.

Yours,

Baelor Targaryen

 

IV

Baelor Targaryen
Heir to the Iron Throne
Hand of the King

 

 

 

Maekar Targaryen
Prince of Summerhall

Maekar,

Our Uncle writes to me of Aegor's designs; he has been communicating with Essosi sellswords. It may take him some more time to provide evidence of the case, but there are whispers.

A few hostages who had been assigned to the Keep have, Gods be Good to their souls, passed since the plague began. Thankfully, our family remains untouched, and I am forever grateful to the Gods watching over us, now and in the hour of our passing should it come to it.

Father's letters give the estimates among the small folk, and it pains me to sit as helplessly as we do. King's Landing has not been structured, shall we say? For the prevention of disease. We have been neglectful in its provision, and those before us.

It is the nature of loss, I believe, our sentiments, our possessions, our persons, we stare as time steals them away.

Thus, I can't help but wonder, perhaps this is punishment that you award for what happened that summer day. So long past, and I remember it as if it were this morning. I will speak of it no more, as you wanted, but I must ask you to unburden me with my doubts, Maekar.

Is this what you wish for me? If so, I know what I have done, and I know I have obeyed my nature.

This is exacting.

Even for you, little brother. I know the stone that you pride yourself in comparison to, but not its silence.

How long will you make me hear it?

Awaiting earnestly,

Baelor Targaryen

 

V

Maekar Targaryen
Prince of Summerhall

 

 

 

Baelor Targaryen
Heir to the Iron Throne

Lord brother,

Have you taken leave of your senses? Of course, you have. You have always, always sought to make light of things that should be neither touched nor spoken about. 

How dare you speak of it? I had asked one thing from you in return for what you did. Only one. Merely one. Even that, God forbid, was too much for you. You keep doing what you wish with no concern. And no. Do not deign to send me an answer with your apologies. I had no need for it then, I shall have no use for it now or so God help me if you dare utter a word in its way, I will regret over my mace that I didn't strike you dead as you stood in that godforsaken trial.

Banish me from your thoughts,

Prince Maekar Targaryen

 

VI

Baelor Targaryen
Heir to the Iron Throne
Hand of the King

 

 

 

Maekar Targaryen
Prince of Summerhall

Brother of mine,

A few palace maids and men from the City Watch have caught the plague and survived; it is a miracle to the poor, but the smallfolk are also left easily left open to its peril. I can not say whether this is a curse or a blessing.

As I answer your letter now, I recall that little Egg and Ser Duncan are in Dorne. The plague worsens in its wake across the Seven Kingdoms, but Dorne fares much better than King's Landing.

Our good sister Alys writes, beset by dark imaginings, for her newborns. These young children do not fare so well in these trying times. I have asked her to take heart, this is a shadow and not true darkness, we must be hopeful in the face of it, it is our only strength in the face of calamity.

You should know, you were there with me at Redgrass. 

The Realm named us for our valour, but truly, I fear none of it does true justice to what the moment had brought us. It was your unflinching line, like your arms had always caught me when we'd go hunting. I remember the forest often here, the gardens are lovely, and I have been welcomed, but they dampen in dullness against my days with you in Kingswood. It was cool upon my nape when you and I slipped away, Ser Donnel was loath to how often we'd spirit away to the woods. God bless him, his patience everlasting, but I can not bring myself to regret it. I still see sunlight through the webs of trees, her golden shadows upon the moss, the grass crisp beneath us with dew and skylarks on the branch over our heads.

Petals in circles, I remember.  

I miss them, Maekar. 

As I live and breathe,

Baelor 

VII

 

News from King's Landing

My right and worshipful Lord,

Take heart, I entreat upon thee, my Prince. The almighty and gracious Seven, for whom our earthly flesh doth bow, have found it fit to take away your nephew, the young and hearty Prince Matarys Targaryen. Our prince met the illness in the cold of nightfall, succumbing to its touch at last, upon the cusp of daybreak at the bosom of his gentle mother, the weeping Lady Jena. He rose with the sun to the skies, leaving the royal Targaryen family less of another.....

VIII

Maekar Targaryen
Prince of Summerhall

 

 

 

Baelor Targaryen
Heir to the Iron Throne

Dear brother,

Baelor, it was upon the morn I received word of it. I imagine my letter is below many others who have offered you their condolences, in ways more gifted without a doubt. He was kind, your son. He had much of you in him from our younger days. I do so wish the Gods had spared your boy, brother.

He was beloved in life, he was beloved in death, sweet Matarys. 

Yours,

Maekar

Notes:

Some of the english is straight from reading the Paston letters, idk if it fits here as well, considering they were written to judges and genteel folk and family, not exactly royalty soo ye. the part was added because i felt we jumped too quickly into matary's death. But that News from KL parchment is also personal, i like to think it's written by one of the maesters who was familiar with the four princes who lived to teach their children as well.

But also, anyone who is following 'Cause either way, we both lying more than half of the time,' I don't think im gonna update this week. I remember what i said bout weeekly updates that was before I figured out the css glitch for the mfing scrollbar and I'm publishing the rest of this fic this week. Quickly and hopefully we'll catch up on the weekend or the next week.