Archive of Our Own

it’s a beautiful day in the middle of april. the sun is shining, filtering through the leaves of the trees and casting shadows on the bright green grass beneath their feet. the breeze smells sweet and earthy, signalling the start of spring. it’s just warm enough to forego the need for outerwear, although felix still feels a slight chill through his suit jacket. all in all, it’s the perfect day for a wedding.

minho and chan are dressed to the nines as they walk down the aisle separating their two sides of the family. minho is wearing a fully black suit with a white lily corsage pinned to the lapel, while chan is wearing a matching white suit with a black lily corsage. chan’s smile is unrestrained, lighting up his entire face as he entwines his fingers with minho’s. in typical minho fashion, his smile is more subdued, but no less in love. the contrast between them is lovely, emphasizing their black cat and golden retriever energy. they look beautiful, felix thinks wistfully.

the soon-to-be newlyweds had opted for a non-traditional ceremony; chan hadn’t cared either way, but minho had insisted he had no interest in the “heteronormative religious bullshit” that came with getting married in a church. they had instead chosen to get married at a remote venue a few hours outside the big city they lived in, surrounded by forty of their closest family and friends. the chapel was nestled in the middle of a small forest. a short walk away, there was a large wooden lodge, built to house the post-wedding festivities.

it had come as no surprise when they had chosen to enlist their friend group as the wedding party. they didn’t really need six groomsmen, not for such a small wedding, but minho and chan had insisted. they had announced their engagement at a dinner party with all their friends, then asked them to be groomsmen. although the engagement hadn’t been unexpected (minho and chan had been together for almost five years, after all), felix had been delighted; he was beyond excited to help support his friends on their special day. felix remembers how his eyes were immediately drawn to hyunjin when chan had broken the news, like an irresistible magnetic pull. hyunjin had been looking back at him with a soft smile on his face.

now, felix stands on the raised wooden platform at the front of the crowd, flanked by seungmin (minho’s best man) and hyunjin. across from them, jisung (chan’s best man), jeongin, and changbin stand together. the groomsmen are all dressed in navy blue suits, matching with the accent color for the wedding. the officiant stands in the center and faces out towards the advancing couple.

the melancholic notes of clair de lune echo through the speakers, mingling with the whispering breeze. the soft piano evokes a sense of nostalgic longing that felix can’t explain, a feeling that has tears welling up in his eyes. as minho and chan step underneath the vine-covered arch that stands upon the wooden platform, felix feels a single tear slip down his cheek. the smile on his face is unwavering.

felix nudges hyunjin lightly with his elbow. “they look so happy,” he sighs, lowering the volume of his voice so as to not interrupt the proceedings. “i want a love like that one day.” he watches hyunjin through the corner of his eye, nearly swooning at his appearance. hyunjin always looks handsome, but something about his well-tailored suit and wavy hair has him looking even more like a prince than usual.

“me too,” hyunjin whispers. his eyes crinkle up into crescent moons as he angles his head slightly to smile down at felix. “if anyone deserves that, it’s you, lix. my romantic friend.”

felix’s heart skips a beat at hyunjin’s teasing words, meant for only his ears. when hyunjin and felix had first met years ago, they had immediately clicked on their shared interests in photography, art, and all things romantic. their friends had relentlessly teased hyunjin when he had accidentally referred to felix as his romantic friend, and it had become something of an inside joke between the two of them. to this day, felix still doesn’t know what hyunjin had meant when he called him that. he’s too afraid to ask.

felix has to avert his eyes before he accidentally does something stupid. hyunjin’s earnest smile has him feeling all fuzzy inside, tummy full of nervous butterflies. if felix is being honest, he’s been feeling that a lot lately. his rational mind is screaming that’s your best friend and you can’t mess things up, but his traitorous heart keeps pushing back in an increasingly loud voice.

felix’s musings are interrupted by the sound of the officiant clearing his throat as he stands in front of the newlyweds. he looks around, surveying the attendees, then starts to read from his script. “dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of minho lee and christopher chahn bahng.” his voice is gravelly and loud, projecting through the entirety of the small crowd.

minho and chan are holding hands as they stand opposite each other. minho has a small smile on his face as he stares into chan’s eyes, expression so loving that felix almost feels like he’s intruding on a private moment. from his side of the stage, felix can’t see chan’s face, but he’s sure his expression is equally tender. felix sniffles quietly, hand coming up to rub at his eyes. he’s so happy that minho and chan found each other.

the officiant’s voice grows increasingly muffled as he continues reading his lines. distantly, felix wonders if someone will ever look at him the way minho and chan look at each other - like felix is the only person on the planet who matters, like they would do anything just to keep him safe and happy. unbidden, a familiar pair of panther-like brown eyes flash in his mind. they stare at him with an intense devotion, the strength of which both scares and excites him.

felix snaps out of his haze, blinking twice to clear the vision. the officiant’s voice is suddenly clear again, booming through the spring air.

“the newlyweds have chosen to exchange their vows privately.” a chorus of awws echoes through the crowd, carried by the light breeze. minho’s smile softens as he squeezes chan’s hands. from behind, it looks like chan’s shoulders are trembling. he must be crying, felix realizes. the thought has him tearing up even harder.

felix suddenly feels a warm hand slipping around his own, interlacing with his fingers. he looks up and to the right, making eye contact with hyunjin. there’s a reassuring smile on hyunjin’s face as he squeezes felix’s fingers in a silent, comforting gesture. felix’s lower lip wobbles when he looks back towards minho and chan. something about the beautiful display of love in front of them has him imagining a future with hyunjin, one that might lead to an entire lifetime together. one where hyunjin holding his hand isn’t a momentous occasion, but an everyday occurrence that gives him strength.

“minho, do you promise to love, honor, and cherish chan for as long as you live?"

“i do.”

minho speaks in a clear voice that projects through the crowd. when chan squeezes his hands, he bites his lip to keep his smile from widening even further. his eyes twinkle in the warm light.

“chan, do you promise to love, honor, and cherish minho for as long as you live?"

“i do.”

chan’s voice is slightly watery as he affirms his vows. despite the tears, he sounds proud, excited.

“minho and chan, please place these rings on each other’s fingers.”

the afternoon sun shifts in the sky, casting rays of light through the foliage. it illuminates minho and chan’s hands as they slide their wedding bands onto each other’s ring fingers. chan’s hands are trembling, stabilized by minho’s steady hands. minho has given up on trying to bite back his wide smile as he stares into chan’s eyes. he whispers something quick, but felix can’t make out what it is; he’s never been particularly good at reading lips. he can only imagine the words were horribly sappy and romantic.

“by the power vested in me, i now pronounce you married! you may seal your vows with a kiss.”

cheers erupt throughout the crowd as minho’s hand comes up to cup chan’s cheek. felix cheers loudest of all, clapping excitedly for his friends with a wide smile on his face. minho’s eyes fall shut while he leans in to meet chan in the middle, marking their first kiss as a married couple. it’s sweet, chaste, but it lingers for a few long seconds longer than it strictly needs to. the groomsmen all cheer harder as they reach into their suit pockets to scatter dried flower petals. the blue-and-white petals flutter through the spring air, settling on minho and chan’s suits.

after they pull away from the kiss, the newlyweds wrap their arms around each other’s waists in a tender gesture. they stare at each other with matching unrestrained smiles. felix can finally see chan’s face from this angle, and the pure happiness in his eyes makes felix’s heart ache. it’s beautiful, but also slightly bittersweet - only because felix wishes a certain someone would look at him like that.

“i’m genuinely so happy for them,” hyunjin sighs from beside him. they’re still holding hands, both having used their unoccupied hand to scatter the biodegradable confetti. “they really deserve this, you know?”

felix nods, but he can’t stop the thoughts from whirling in his mind: maybe he and hyunjin deserve this too.  

─────⊰ ♡ ⊱─────

after taking far too many photographs, the guests had all filtered into the lodge for the post-wedding reception. fairy lights were hung along the ceiling, illuminating the interior with a warm glow. each table was set with a beautiful floral centerpiece. the vibe was magical, like a cozy little haven away from the realities of modern life.

the bar was open and dinner was served buffet-style. the spread was extensive, featuring a wide assortment of traditional korean foods. as first-generation immigrants to the USA, it was important for both chan and minho to have their culture represented on their big day.

the speeches had been short but sweet. chan’s dad spoke of minho’s steady presence in his son’s life; from the moment chan had introduced minho to his parents two years ago, they had known he was a positive influence on chan’s life. minho’s mom teared up as she spoke of the way her son’s eyes lit up whenever he spoke of chan, the way chan brought out minho’s softer side. seungmin’s speech was devoid of his usual savage edge, although he did bring up a funny moment from years ago that had minho swatting at him with an embarrassed smile on his lips. jisung, already several drinks in at that point, had impressed the crowd by delivering his speech in the form of a rap verse he had composed for the newlywed couple. chan had ruffled his hair fondly as he sat back down.

now, pleasantly full from dinner and dessert, felix dances with his friends. he’s nicely buzzed on a few glasses of champagne, hips swaying along to a bass-heavy pop track he recognizes but can’t name. jisung dances next to felix, matching his energy perfectly. changbin and hyunjin are currently engaged in a dance battle to prove who’s better at doing the shuffle. (hyunjin is winning by a mile, but felix would never say that to changbin’s face.)

hyunjin has removed his suit jacket, exposing his trim waist and strong arms in the white dress shirt all the groomsmen are wearing. felix is currently trying very hard not to stare at him for too long, but his brain keeps reminding him how sexy hyunjin looks with sweat running down his face.

“isn’t this just awesome?” jisung laughs, beaming at felix as he shifts his arms in a silly movement. felix has to lean in to hear him; his voice is almost drowned out by the pounding bass.

“i’m having sooo much fun!” felix yells directly into jisung’s ear. he just giggles and pats jisung’s arm when he complains about felix rupturing his eardrum.

the makeshift dancefloor is in one corner of the lodge, just big enough to fit about thirty people at once. a projector lights up the wooden wall, displaying a spotify overlay on the left and a surprisingly professional-looking kiss cam (currently trained on an older couple that felix doesn’t recognize) on the right. seungmin had been so excited to set it up, pressing his phone into jeongin’s hands and instructing him to go film random couples on the dancefloor. all the featured couples have happily obliged thus far, giving each other a quick smooch on the cheek or lips. felix loves watching the looks on their faces when they realize they’re up on the big screen, expressions ranging from embarrassed laughter to tender smiles.  

in the corner of his eye, felix can see seungmin furiously whispering to chan and minho, then looking over at him with narrowed eyes. the unusual behavior has felix on edge. had he done something offensive? had he accidentally broken some kind of unspoken wedding rule? felix is just about to go over and ask what they’re gossiping about when hyunjin approaches him with a smile on his face. hyunjin holds out one hand, bowing slightly, and asks felix if he’d like to dance together.  

it isn’t even a question, not really - not when the answer would always be a resounding yes. beaming at hyunjin, felix takes his hand. hyunjin leads him out to the edge of the dancefloor, close to the wall. felix is secretly grateful for the distance; although he loves his friends, he’s excited to be alone with hyunjin for the first time all day. he wants to pretend, for just a few precious minutes, that hyunjin is his plus one and they’re here as a romantic couple. away from the crowd, it’s surprisingly easy to do.

as soon as hyunjin lets go of felix’s hand, the first few notes of a slow song play through the speakers. the soft piano lends the atmosphere an almost dreamy quality as the lights dim. felix glances around at the others on the dancefloor, only to see that everyone has found a partner to dance with. even jisung and changbin have chosen to dance together, laughing all the while.   

“just our luck, huh?” hyunjin jokes, dragging felix’s attention back to him. “okay if i lead?” his voice sounds a bit strained as he places his hands on either side of felix’s waist. hyunjin’s hands are very warm where they rest against felix’s suit jacket, sending shivers up his spine. they’re almost big enough to wrap entirely around felix’s waist, he notes uselessly.

felix nods quickly, bringing his arms up to loop around hyunjin’s neck. this is the closest they’ve ever been, and it has him feeling a bit dizzy. “so how are you liking the wedding?” felix asks awkwardly, throat suddenly dry. he hopes hyunjin doesn’t call him out on his obvious nervousness.

hyunjin starts to move, pulling felix along with him by the waist. they sway together slowly, matching the tempo of the song. “you already know i think the ceremony was beautiful,” hyunjin smiles, “but i’ve really been enjoying the afterparty too.”

“huh, yeah, i guess this is pretty much an afterparty,” felix giggles, smiling back up at hyunjin. “my favorite part was seeing chan’s ears get all red when his literal husband kissed him at dinner. they’re so silly!”

“they’re sickening,” hyunjin agrees, trying to keep his face serious as he bites back a smile. the mirth in his eyes is unmistakeable. “that kind of love should be illegal.”

felix’s eyes close as he barks out a surprised laugh. his head falls forward, forehead pressing against the damp cotton covering hyunjin’s shoulder. hyunjin smells good, a heady mixture of his natural scent and his woody cologne.

felix has always liked the smell of hyunjin’s sweat. he had told him as much on a drunken night out last year, when they had separated from their friends at a dingy club. hyunjin had just smiled fondly. “you’re drunk, lix,” he had said, shaking his head. “you won’t remember this in the morning.” (felix had remembered, of course, but he hadn’t known how to bring it up again.) now, with his nose pressed up against hyunjin’s sweaty shirt, felix can feel the embers of arousal stirring deep in his belly.

one of hyunjin’s hands comes up to rest against the back of felix’s head. his other hand, still on felix’s waist, caresses him lightly. they’ve always been touchy with each other, but these touches feel different, too intimate to be brushed off as purely platonic. “lix…” hyunjin begins quietly, but he’s cut off by a loud whoop from behind them.

“what the…?” felix mumbles, eyes blinking open blearily. he and hyunjin had been in the middle of a romantic moment, he thinks, and the interruption is far from welcome. it had felt like hyunjin was about to say something significant. the loss stings.

“oh, you guys are so cute!” jisung’s boisterous voice sounds from behind. “look at them, bin.”

felix raises his head from hyunjin’s shoulder and turns around slowly, spotting two familiar figures walking towards them. his eyebrows furrow, lips turning up into an annoyed pout. jisung knows felix has feelings for hyunjin, has teased him about his supposed “heart-eyes” more than once. what could possibly be important enough to disturb them?

“adorable,” changbin confirms, nodding animatedly. his hands rub together like a scheming little fly. “yes, they’ll make a fine offering.”

“offering?” hyunjin sputters. “what the fuck, guys?” he squeezes felix’s waist lightly, a comforting gesture that seems to say i’m sorry. it sounds like hyunjin is just as annoyed as felix is at the interruption.

instead of answering, jisung just lifts one finger to point to the right. there’s a conspiratorial smirk on his face, a look that makes felix nervous whenever he sees it. changbin looks just as gleeful.

felix’s eyes slowly follow the direction jisung is pointing in, heart pounding in his ears as he spots jeongin pointing a phone camera at him and hyunjin. seungmin stands next to jeongin, hiding his smile with his hands. felix has a sinking feeling he knows exactly what is going on.

the moment felix spots the live video feed up on the projector, his eyes immediately jerk away in shock. on autopilot, he moves a few steps away from hyunjin, ignoring his outstretched arms. “what?” felix asks dumbly, eyes wide. this must be some kind of bad dream, he thinks desperately. surely, that’s not his face next to the man he’s had an unrequited crush on for years. his hands hang uselessly at his sides, clenching and unclenching. the soft piano still flowing through the speakers sounds muffled in his ears.

“shit,” hyunjin says, voice a bit shaky. felix fights the ever-present impulse to look at him. he can’t bear to see hyunjin’s expression right now, can’t stand the thought of seeing confusion, or worse, apathy, on his face. the latter would kill him, he thinks.

“what?” felix repeats quietly. he blinks a few times, but it doesn’t clear the sight of their faces up on the projector screen. his friends, to their credit, look a bit sheepish. they clearly hadn’t expected felix to react like this, had probably expected him to leap at the opportunity to kiss hyunjin.

“we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, lix,” hyunjin says, low enough that only felix can hear him. felix’s eyes jerk over to him when they register the reluctance in his voice, taking in his furrowed brows. hyunjin raises his voice as he adds, “kiss cams are stupid, anyways.” the corners of his mouth are turned down as he stares pointedly at seungmin, who just shrugs at him, non-committal. hyunjin shuts his eyes and sticks out his tongue in response, a childish gesture that would make felix laugh in any other context. as it stands, he’s still too shocked to even crack a smile.

having been friends with him for many years, felix knows that hyunjin is a very expressive person in the way he speaks and behaves; he always wears his heart on his sleeve. that’s how felix can tell that, despite his reassuring words, hyunjin is disappointed. he’s giving felix an out, evidently having sensed his hesitation, but he’s almost reluctant in his delivery.

the implications of hyunjin’s disappointment in this context are not lost on felix. given his own feelings, he should be ecstatic - but he’s confused, more than anything. felix and hyunjin have both been single for months now. if hyunjin is into him, why hasn’t he made a move yet?

jisung slings an arm around hyunjin’s shoulders, laughing easily. his face is flushed, eyes sparkling in the dim lighting.  “yeah, lix, i can always step in for you,” jisung says, shooting felix a wink. he grabs hold of hyunjin’s chin and pouts exaggeratedly as he brings his lips closer to hyunjin’s mouth. hyunjin grimaces, trying to pull away, but he’s laughing.

felix can feel his face contort into a frown; even though he knows there’s nothing between them, the thought of hyunjin kissing jisung just feels wrong. felix would rather gouge his own eyes out than see that, he thinks. the feeling pushes aside all his hesitation, leaving behind only the burning desire to kiss hyunjin.

before he can stop himself, felix is interrupting the spectacle in front of him. “that won’t be necessary, sungie,” he says firmly, raising his chin. “no, i can do it.” he realizes his tone came out much more forcefully than he had intended when he sees his friends all staring at him with wide eyes. felix rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, cheeks warm.

hyunjin’s eyes are the widest of all as he takes in felix’s displeased expression. “yeah?” he asks hopefully, eyes flicking down to felix’s lips for a split second. “you sure you’re okay with that, lix?” he looks like an eager puppy dog, felix thinks, wagging his tail as he waits for a treat. hyunjin is adorable, until-

he bites his lip, gaze turning darker. felix’s eyes are drawn to the way his perfect teeth look against his rosy lower lip, indenting it slightly. he can’t help but wonder what those plush lips will feel like against his own. felix has dreamt about them, more than once; they’re one of his favorite features on hyunjin, second only to the mole under his eye.

suddenly much more shy than he was a few seconds ago, felix averts his eyes and fixes his gaze squarely on hyunjin’s shiny black dress shoes. “don’t make me say it again, jinnie,” felix pouts. he reaches out towards hyunjin with grabby hands, gesturing for him to come closer.

“okay, lix,” hyunjin says quietly. felix can’t see the expression he’s making, but he can only imagine it would be enough to make him fold instantly.

there are only a couple of feet between them, but time slows to a crawl as hyunjin approaches him. the noises of the party are muffled, muted. distantly, felix hears someone say “aaand that’s our cue to leave,” but he pays them no mind as he stares at hyunjin’s approaching dress shoes. they stop right in front of felix’s own shoes (much smaller than hyunjin’s, he notes absently), leaving almost no space between them.

“look at me, lix.” hyunjin’s voice is low, rough. it lends the statement an air of authority, turning it from a request to a command. a shiver runs up felix’s spine as he slowly looks up, eyes wide.

with how small the distance is between them, felix has to tilt his head backwards slightly to make eye contact with hyunjin. his eyes are always alluring, but his gaze right now is downright predatory, sending a spike of heat through felix’s stomach. he feels like a sailor at sea, compelled to throw himself into the waves by the siren that is hwang hyunjin. how could felix ever be expected to withstand his gravitational pull?

“hey,” hyunjin says quietly, cocking his head to the side with a crooked smile on his lips. he looks even more breathtaking than usual from up close. his skin is smooth and radiant, tanned like honey. his thick eyebrows frame his face beautifully. felix doesn’t think he’s ever seen a more handsome man in his life.

“h-hey,” felix replies, voice cracking embarrassingly. despite the intensity of hyunjin’s stare, felix does his best to look directly at him. it feels a little bit like staring directly at the sun, like throwing himself into a pit of molten lava and hoping for the best. felix is far from inexperienced, but the way hyunjin’s gaze pierces through his armor has him feeling wholly exposed. they haven’t even kissed yet, he thinks desperately. it’s unfair, the effect hyunjin has on him without even trying.

hyunjin tilts felix’s chin up further with his thumb, index finger brushing along his cheek. “it’s just me,” he whispers. “focus on me.”

felix is most comfortable when he’s told what to do, especially when it’s coming from hyunjin. it takes away the pressure of making decisions, allows him to focus on just doing without worrying about every little thing that could go wrong. he feels his nervousness float away as he focuses all of his attention on hyunjin.

when felix doesn’t push him away, hyunjin starts to lean in slowly, eyes fixed squarely on felix until he shuts them at the last possible moment. felix’s eyes stay wide open as hyunjin kisses him. his lips are warm and slightly chapped, just as pillowy as felix had imagined they would be. the kiss is brief, nothing more than a soft press of their lips together, but it has felix’s heart racing. loud cheers erupt from across the dancefloor. felix ignores them all.

hyunjin pulls away slightly, just far enough for felix to see his eyes. his gaze is burning with something that looks a lot like desire. “felix,” hyunjin says, voice rough. felix leans into the touch as hyunjin’s finger brushes over his cheek in a tender caress.

felix’s hands come up to rest on hyunjin’s chest, anchoring himself. “please,” he whines quietly. he doesn’t know what he’s asking for, not exactly - he just knows that he needs more, and he trusts hyunjin to give it to him. they’ve crossed a line, felix knows, and the thought of going back to being just friends is distressing.

hyunjin’s eyes darken, telling felix that he has every intention of toeing that line even further. he leans in slowly, eyes questioning, as if to say tell me to stop - but felix can’t imagine stopping, not when hyunjin has that look in his eyes. hyunjin looks like he wants to eat him whole, and felix is more than happy to oblige. it’s not about the kiss cam anymore, and they both know it. felix’s eyes flutter shut, breath stuttering in anticipation. he leans in to meet hyunjin in the middle.

the music swells as their lips come together for the second time. this time, it’s not chaste, not gentle. hyunjin kisses like he’s starving, and felix reciprocates, pouring in every ounce of longing he’s been harboring for so long. it’s slow, sensual, perfectly intense. all felix can think is, finally.

hyunjin grips felix’s chin more firmly as he deepens the kiss, tongue pressing against the seam of felix’s lips. felix parts his lips, eagerly opening up for hyunjin. the kiss tastes like champagne and vanilla cake. “i thought you’d never feel the same,” hyunjin murmurs into felix’s mouth, seemingly loathe to be parted from his lips for more than a few seconds at a time.

it takes felix a few seconds to process the confession, but when he does, he gasps. he pulls away to stare into hyunjin’s eyes. he looks stunning with his pupils blown, sweat dripping down his neck. “i never even knew you liked me,” felix admits breathlessly. “since when, jinnie?”

“since- are you kidding, lix?” hyunjin laughs, shaking his head fondly. his hand slides along felix’s neck until it rests on his nape.  “since literally forever. i knew you were an angel when we first met, all those years ago, and i’ve fallen even deeper in love with you every day since then. i really thought it was obvious.”

love.

it’s a big word, one felix had never expected to hear from hyunjin in a romantic context. they’ve always been verbally affectionate, but hyunjin has never meant it like this before. despite his surprise, felix finds the thought of loving hyunjin isn’t weird; it feels right, a natural extension of the friendship they’ve built up to this point.

“love, huh?” felix teases, cocking his head to the side. he wants to hear more, needs hyunjin to elaborate.

“i fully intend on making you my husband someday, lix,” hyunjin says earnestly, hand over his heart. “of course i’m in love with you.”

startled, felix laughs. his mind is suddenly filled with vivid images of hyunjin in a tuxedo, standing underneath the vine-covered wedding arch and flashing that soft smile down at him. the setting sun filters through the foliage, lending the forest an orange glow that makes it look like something out of a fairytale. chan has happy tears streaming down his cheeks while minho holds his hand, eyes suspiciously misty. a rare, unguarded smile graces seungmin’s face; felix knows he’s been secretly rooting for them to get together for years. jisung is practically bouncing on his feet, blowing his nose with one hand as he taps along to the soft piano music on his thigh. changbin and jeongin stand side by side, matching in their wide smiles.  

felix can see the vision shockingly clearly, despite the fact that they’ve only just confessed to each other. it’s way too fast, absolutely insane - but his traitorous heart is nearly beating out of its chest at the thought.

“before we skip ten steps and ask the officiant to marry us right here,” felix says, pouting slightly as he stares up at hyunjin with wide eyes, “maybe we can be boyfriends first?”

hyunjin immediately nods, expression serious. “i can do boyfriends,” he says. his gaze is open and honest as he adds, “as long as you love me too? i don’t know if i can be casual about this.”

“oh, you silly man,” felix giggles. hyunjin is one of the most intelligent people he knows, but he can be so obtuse sometimes. “would i be kissing you like this if i didn’t love you?”

“i guess not,” hyunjin mumbles, cheeks pink. felix bites his lip, fighting back the urge to smile. he loves the way hyunjin can be sexy and confident one moment, then adorable and awkward the next.

felix leans in slightly, shivering at the feeling of hyunjin’s fingers caressing his nape. “then there’s your answer,” he whispers. “it’s never been casual for me, not with you.”

like a flipped switch, hyunjin’s gaze darkens. his eyes flick down to felix’s lips, then back up to his eyes. “good,” hyunjin says quietly. he pulls felix in closer by the waist, erasing the last few inches of space between them.

their mouths part right away, tongues sliding together messily. the kiss quickly turns heated as hyunjin’s hand curls around the back of felix’s neck. the possessive touch has heat building low in felix’s gut, heart racing. his hands squeeze hyunjin’s pecs, appreciating the hard muscle. hyunjin has been working out a lot lately, and felix has definitely noticed. knowing what he knows now, felix can’t help but wonder if hyunjin had specifically done it for him. it’s a funny thought, because felix had been head over heels for hyunjin long before he was buff, but it’s also endearing - it implies that hyunjin had liked felix enough to try and impress him.

felix moans when hyunjin lightly sucks on his tongue. he retaliates by nibbling lightly on hyunjin’s lower lip, causing him to groan into the kiss. it’s hot, wet, addictive. felix doesn’t think he could ever grow tired of kissing hyunjin like this.

“wanna take this somewhere more private?” hyunjin breathes against felix’s lips. his hand grasps felix’s waist in a firm hold that, along with his brazen words, has his head spinning.

“we haven’t even been on a date yet, you scoundrel. i don’t put out until at least the third date,” felix laughs, pulling away from the kiss to smile at hyunjin. he hadn’t been thinking ahead to sex, not really, but he likes that hyunjin is bold enough to ask for what he wants.

hyunjin pouts adorably, and the expression looks so out-of-place on his handsome face that felix dissolves into a fit of giggles. in truth, he has no intention of turning hyunjin down; three glasses of champagne have him feeling a little bit loose, and the sight of hyunjin in that suit has him weak in the knees. still, felix can’t give in so easily. he needs to see how badly hyunjin wants him.

“romantic friend privileges?” hyunjin tries, voice hopeful. he looks like he’s holding back a laugh that’s trying to come out through his pout. the fact that all star by smash mouth (one of jisung’s cursed song requests) is currently blasting through the speakers only makes the moment funnier.

felix giggles even harder, hand coming up to cover his mouth. hyunjin is funny; he has to give him that. “mm, i don’t think so,” he teases. “try again?”

hyunjin’s pout melts into a pretty smile with just a hint of danger. he moves his hand from felix’s nape, sliding it along his neck until it reaches his left cheek. “i’ve known you for so long,” hyunjin says, dropping his voice to a sultry murmur. felix’s giggles die on his tongue as hyunjin stares at him intensely. “i’ve paid enough attention over the years to know exactly what you like, baby. you know i’ll show you a good time.”

felix bites his lip as he stares back into hyunjin’s dark eyes; he’s always been weak for that particular pet name, and hearing it from hyunjin’s lips is thrilling. it has felix wanting to find out if hyunjin is just talking big, or if he’s serious about knowing what he likes. felix has certainly talked about his preferences before, having dated several men in the time they’ve been friends, so hyunjin should know that felix likes to be told what to do. besides, hyunjin has that self-assured confidence that makes felix think hyunjin will treat him in the exact way he likes to be treated. he has a good feeling about this.

felix cocks his head to the side as he pretends to consider, furrowing his brows for good measure. he takes a few seconds to let the suspense build before he finally gives in. “okay, jinnie,” felix chirps. a sweet, innocent smile graces his lips - one that he now knows makes hyunjin stare at him with a dark look in his eyes. “let’s go!”

hyunjin’s eyes are wide, mouth falling open slightly. he blinks exaggeratedly several times. “really?” he asks incredulously. “just like that?”

felix is entirely unconcerned with the thought of appearing easy; he knows hyunjin would never judge him for that, not with how colorful his own past is. besides, it’s not like this is a new thing - they’ve known each other for over three years. three years is a long time to not jump each other’s bones when they’ve apparently both been into each other the whole time.

“just like that,” felix confirms, biting his lip as his smile widens. “we’ve been dumb for so long, i don’t want to waste any more time.”

“you don’t have to convince me,” hyunjin smirks, shaking his head amusedly. “let me lead the way.” his large hand wraps around felix’s narrow wrist, tugging him along lightly. felix notes that both his wrists could comfortably fit in the grip of just one of hyunjin’s hands, files the information away for a later time. the thought has him clenching his thighs.

hyunjin leads him past their hollering friends and towards the dark staircase that goes up to the second level of the lodge. felix throws a few cheeky waves over his shoulder, making eye contact with seungmin and jisung. jisung is wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, while seungmin has a small smile gracing his lips.

“thank you,” felix mouths. thank you for finally getting us to acknowledge each others’ feelings, he wants to say, but it will have to wait until after the wedding.

seungmin nods once, then turns back towards the dancefloor.

hyunjin tugs felix’s wrist more insistently. the staircase is dimly lit, casting heavy shadows as they climb upstairs. felix’s anticipation builds with every step.

“c’mon, angel,” hyunjin says, just loud enough for felix to hear over the pounding music.

the corners of felix’s mouth turn up as their footsteps echo in the stairwell. “coming,” he says quietly.

─────⊰ note: the following scene is 18+ ⊱─────

felix’s back is pressed against the door as soon as it shuts. hyunjin’s hand fumbles behind him, lock clicking shut with a noise that is startlingly loud in the quiet of the room. (the soundproofing in the walls is impressive, felix notes. the music had still been relatively loud in the hallway, but it had faded to a muffled whisper once the door was closed.)

they had settled on using the room where all the groomsmen had gotten ready together before the ceremony. “people do this all the time at weddings,” hyunjin had said. “no one will mind.” felix is secretly glad; he would have hated for his first time with hyunjin to be in a cramped bathroom stall or utility closet. hyunjin means so much more to him than that.

the air smells like fresh pine mixed with the white sage incense that minho had lit earlier in the day. when felix had asked about the significance of the scent, minho had smiled and told him that white sage helps with clearing negative energy. superstitious as he is, felix sees it as a good omen.

the room is relatively large, filled with clothes and hair products scattered on every available surface. felix can see their reflection in the vanity mirror against the far wall. hyunjin dwarfs him almost entirely, blocking most of his body from view. felix’s blonde hair and wide eyes are the only things that peek over hyunjin’s broad shoulders. they look good together, felix thinks. he loves how small hyunjin makes him feel.

hyunjin is insistent, lips and tongue leaving open-mouthed kisses all over felix’s neck. he’s careful not to press hard enough to leave any marks, but the occasional nip of his teeth has felix sighing in pleasure. hyunjin’s thigh is pressed between felix’s legs, hands settled on his shoulders. felix’s hips jerk forward, seeking more of that addictive friction.

large hands slide down felix’s chest, stopping when they reach his belt. hyunjin clumsily unbuckles it, then wastes no time in pulling down the zipper of his dress pants. felix is unbelievably hard, erection pressing against the black fabric of his boxers. he wants hyunjin’s hands on him, but this still feels too rushed, too much like a drunken hookup in a bathroom stall. he still has enough presence of mind to slow things down a bit.

“wait, jinnie,” felix gasps, breaking the silence that was punctuated only by their panting. “not here.” he presses his hands against hyunjin’s pecs, pushing him away lightly. the firm muscles feel good under his palms.

“what’s wrong, lix?” hyunjin mumbles, hot breath tickling felix’s neck. although he sounds confused, hyunjin’s hands come up to rest on felix’s hips, leaving behind his unzipped pants.

hyunjin’s willingness to pause despite the obvious hardness in his pants is surprisingly sexy. felix bites his lip, raising one shaky hand to point behind hyunjin. “couch,” he says simply. “please.”

hyunjin detaches from his neck and smirks, dimples popping out in a way that has felix’s heart racing. he looks devastatingly handsome. “yeah, okay, baby. let me take care of you.”

without warning, hyunjin grips the back of felix’s thighs and lifts him. felix squeals at the sudden weightlessness, arms coming up to loop around hyunjin’s neck. his legs instinctively wrap around hyunjin’s waist to help support his weight. “i can walk!” felix exclaims, cheeks hot. hyunjin pays him no mind, carrying him towards the couch. despite his protests, the effortless display of strength and dominance sends a spike of arousal through felix’s tummy. he clings tighter to hyunjin’s neck.

hyunjin lays felix down gently when they reach the couch. his back hits the soft leather, head pillowed against the armrest. hyunjin stands above him for a few moments, staring down at him with a hungry look in his eyes. his gaze is so hot that felix feels much more exposed than he actually is. he squirms uncomfortably, but he says nothing, letting hyunjin take the lead.

“you’re so sexy, lix,” hyunjin finally says, voice rough. his eyes roam over felix’s body, leaving no inch of him unperceived. “i’ve wanted this for so long, you have no idea.”

felix shivers at hyunjin’s tone. his voice has lost its usual breathy quality, instead dipping into a lower register that has felix’s head spinning. felix needs him to know that the feeling is mutual, that he wants hyunjin just as badly. “i-i think i have an idea, jinnie,” felix says. it comes out strangely high-pitched, breathless. “or did you forget that i love you too?”

hyunjin bites his lip. his hands are clenched where they rest at his sides, like he’s holding himself back from reaching out. “trust me,” he says lowly, eyes dark. “the things i want to do to you right now… i don’t know if i can say it out loud.”

the words have felix’s cheeks heating up, breath stuttering. he wants so badly for hyunjin to take the reigns completely. “so show me,” he whispers, fingers fidgeting against the leather of the couch. “i can take it, jinnie. i promise.”

slowly, never breaking eye contact, hyunjin lowers himself over the couch. he settles on top of felix, propping himself up with his elbows against the armrest. when felix stares up at him in anticipation, hyunjin leans in and presses their lips together.

felix sighs into his mouth, enjoying the warmth of their lips moving together. hyunjin’s lips are slightly swollen from all their kisses earlier, making them even more plump than they usually are. the kiss starts out slow, soft, but quickly turns more heated as felix parts his lips to allow hyunjin’s tongue into his mouth. hyunjin’s hard length grinds down against felix, causing both of them to moan.

hyunjin pulls away to catch his breath. he rests his sweaty forehead against felix’s, eyes closed. “fuck, baby,” he pants. “i just want to take my time with you, break you down until you’re a whimpering mess. but i don’t think this is the right time and place for that.”

felix whines at the filthy words, suddenly feeling very shy. he presses against hyunjin’s chest until he lifts his head. hyunjin looks down at him confusedly, but felix feels vulnerable, needs to make eye contact with him. “how do you want me, then?” he asks, staring up at hyunjin with wide eyes. “i didn’t bring any lube, so we probably can’t…” felix trails off and bites his lip.

hyunjin smiles down at him. his gaze is fond, but far too hungry to be innocent. felix can see the sweat beading at his temples. absently, he wonders if hyunjin would let him lick it off. “don’t worry about that, baby,” hyunjin says softly. “we don’t need lube for this.”

before felix can ask what this is, hyunjin is sitting up, hovering over felix’s midsection. he grabs felix’s hips and flips him over, pressing him face-first into the couch. the impact pushes a surprised grunt out of felix’s lips, winding him for a moment. hyunjin’s rough treatment has him a bit dazed in the best possible way. felix’s lips press against the worn leather of the couch, tongue tasting the bitterness of the material. his hips jerk forward, seeking more friction against the cushion.

hyunjin settles his weight on the back of felix’s thighs, pressing him down more firmly against the couch. something about the immobilizing pressure of his weight makes warmth flood felix’s body. hyunjin’s palms come up to rest on felix’s ass cheeks, cupping them gently through his dress pants. “still okay, lix?” he asks lowly.

felix nods jerkily, chin brushing against the worn leather. if hyunjin stops right now, before anything actually happens, felix thinks he’ll cry. “i’ll tell you if it’s ever not okay, just- keep going,” he whines softly. “please, jinnie.” hyunjin squeezes his ass more firmly in lieu of a response.

with felix’s belt and zipper undone, it’s easy for hyunjin to slide his pants and boxers down over the swell of his ass. hyunjin exhales behind him before reaching down to grab his bare ass cheeks. felix bites his lip as those big hands squeeze him, gently kneading the flesh. each hand spans the entirety of one of cheek, filling felix’s head with lewd images of hyunjin leaving red handprints all over his ass.

hyunjin suddenly spreads felix’s ass cheeks, exposing his hole. felix whimpers as the cool air hits his overheated flesh. he can feel himself clenching, driven by his shyness at hyunjin perceiving his most intimate area. he mentally thanks god for the fact that he had recently waxed.

“fuck, baby,” hyunjin breathes. “how are you real?” he sounds like he’s in awe, a flattering reaction that has felix blushing. hyunjin spreads felix’s cheeks wider as he kneads them, causing felix to squirm into the cushion. the friction of the leather feels nice against his clothed erection. hyunjin’s calloused hands continue to squeeze his cheeks, applying just a hint of pressure to felix’s clenching hole. along with the pressure against his cock, the pleasure builds surprisingly fast.

abruptly, hyunjin removes his hands, leaving felix’s ass cold. he whines needily; he had been so close, had probably only needed a few more thrusts against the couch to send him over the edge. “shh, baby,” hyunjin coos. “just a sec.”

felix hears a belt unbuckle, followed by shuffling fabric. as the seconds pass, his impatience grows. felix is overthinking now, uncertain of hyunjin’s intentions. he had said they wouldn’t need lube for this, but surely, he doesn’t intend to fuck felix without the proper preparation?

suddenly, felix feels the press of something smooth and wet against his right cheek. “is that…?” he asks, face burning.

hyunjin’s hard cock slaps felix’s ass, answering his question. “mmm, angel, your ass is so soft,” hyunjin moans. one of his hands comes up to squeeze felix’s left ass cheek. the knuckles of his other hand brush against the swell of felix’s ass as he starts to jerk himself off.

felix chases his own pleasure, hips rutting mindlessly against the cushion underneath him. drool leaks out of the side of his mouth, pooling against the leather. the sound of hyunjin’s hand slapping against his pelvis is loud in the room.

the feeling of his cock grinding against the couch while hyunjin kneads his ass has felix quickly approaching his peak again. “fuck, jinnie, ‘m gonna come,” he whines needily.

“yeah?” hyunjin asks, breathless. “good boy, lix. wanna see you come for me.” he smacks felix’s left cheek, palm immediately soothing over the sting. the unexpectedness of that final rough smack has felix hurtling over the edge, moaning loudly as he comes in his pants. he rides out the pleasure, hips jerking forward weakly against the couch. it’s probably the most intense orgasm he’s ever had.

as soon as felix slumps forward, boneless, the movement of hyunjin’s fist becomes erratic, knuckles brushing more quickly against felix’s ass. the sound of his panting mingles with the wet slap of his fist as he chases his own peak. his hand squeezes felix’s ass harder, probably hard enough to bruise, and felix whines lightly at the pleasure-pain. he reaches back to hold hyunjin’s hand over where it’s curved around his ass cheek, seeking the comfort of physical contact.

hyunjin grunts as he comes, hot release spurting against felix’s ass cheeks. his fist jerks a few more times, prolonging his pleasure. still breathing heavily, he uses the softening tip of his cock to smear his come into felix’s skin. it’s filthy, more than a little bit depraved, but felix can already feel his arousal stirring again at the possessiveness of the gesture.

“beautiful,” hyunjin murmurs, voice reverent. “covered in white, just like you’ll be on our wedding day.”

it’s horribly cheesy, and sober hyunjin will probably hate himself if he remembers saying it in the morning, but felix kind of loves it. he can’t help the high-pitched giggle he lets out, muffling the sound into his hand. it earns him a light slap on the ass.

hyunjin manages to locate a box of tissues, which he uses to wipe the come off felix’s cheeks. the soft touch is a stark contrast to the rough way he had handled felix’s ass just a few minutes prior. it makes felix feel safe and a little bit floaty. next, hyunjin gently flips over felix’s pliant body and helps him clean up the mess in his pants. although the feeling of his wet boxers is unpleasant, felix is grateful that the leather had remained clean. finally, hyunjin squeezes onto the couch, looping one arm around felix’s waist and pulling him on top of his chest. his other hand strokes the back of felix’s head lightly, fingers threading through his blonde strands. felix keens softly at the soothing gesture.

the peaceful silence is broken by a heavy sigh. “we should probably go back down,” hyunjin says, sounding regretful. “they’ll be wondering where we are.”

felix pouts, wrapping his arms tighter around hyunjin’s shoulders. he’s not ready to face the world just yet, still feels a bit vulnerable after everything they just did. “five more minutes?” he asks, staring up at hyunjin with wide eyes.

hyunjin covers his eyes and groans, but there’s a smile on his lips. his voice is soft as he says, “okay, baby. five more minutes.” hyunjin’s arms pull felix closer, encaging him in his warmth.

exhaling contentedly, felix nuzzles against hyunjin’s firm chest. the fabric of his dress shirt is practically drenched in sweat, and felix loves it. he can hear hyunjin’s heartbeat hammering loudly against his ear. it matches the rapid pace of felix’s own heart.

as they both calm down and their heartbeats start to sync up, felix’s eyes fall shut. hyunjin’s embrace feels safe, familiar. it’s so similar to all the times they’ve cuddled drunkenly in the past, but everything has changed. as he listens to the steady beat of hyunjin’s heart, felix thinks that he could really get used to this shift in their relationship.

“i love you,” felix whispers, pressing a kiss right above hyunjin’s heart.

“i love you, lix,” hyunjin whispers back. he tightens his arms around felix’s waist, gently rocking him back and forth a few times.

five minutes turn into ten and hyunjin’s breathing evens out. when felix pokes his arm, hyunjin shows no signs of stirring, breaths puffing softly against felix’s forehead. felix laughs quietly, shaking his head in amusement. he decides against waking hyunjin, reasoning that they probably both need the rest after the events of the day. he snuggles deeper into hyunjin’s embrace and lets himself drift off slowly.

they’ll have some explaining to do in the morning, felix knows, but nothing else matters right now.