Actions

Work Header

The hot Dad in R2

Summary:

When Kate tries to figure out who the hot dad in R2 is she accidentally opens a can of worms that she can't close again.

Chat fic featuring the Bridgerton men being idiots and some spouses who regret everything.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Bridgerton's the complete boxset: 

 

Kate: Everyone in the school yard is going on about the hot dad in R2. 

Kate: Apparently he is especially gorgeous 

Kate: Has amazing abs 

Kate: Is a nice human 

Kate: And a great Dad. 

 

Sophie: Benedict was seen as the hot Dad at our school. 

Sophie: One Mum asked him out

Sophie: In front of me. 

Sophie: If they're in a relationship I feel for their partner. 

 

Benedict: What can I say? The ladies love me. 

 

Violet: Very cocky from the man who wet himself in front of dinner guests while high. 

 

Benedict: The thing I love about this family is that we never brush anything under the rug. It's just so lovely to be reminded of all my worst moments. 

 

Daphne: Is that sarcasm there dear brother? 

 

Kate: Anyway so this Dad... 

Kate: He's fitter then Anthony apparently. 

Kate: I'm so curious. Everyone is thirsting over him. 

Kate: I want to know who it is that has dethroned my husband. 

 

Cressida: Poor man. 

 

Francesca: I love playground gossip. 

 

Anthony: Do we know who he is? 

 

Kate: Nope! But his child's in Thomas' class. 

 

Penelope: I do. 

Penelope: I know who he is. 

 

Anthony: And is he better looking than me? 

 

Penelope: Well I'd say so. 

 

Francesca: Oh... I see ;) 

 

Simon: Oh can we please do this face to face? I'd like to see Kate and Anthony react... 

 

Daphne: OH. OH. OH. 

 

Kate: ? 

 

Penelope: it's Colin. Colin is the hot Dad in R2 and it's awful. They keep drooling all over him at pick up. 

Penelope: Three married ones slipped him their number. 

Penelope: One person asked if we had plans to divorce! 

 

Colin: What can I say I'm too pretty for my own good. 

 

Simon: He's really smug about this isn't he? 

 

Penelope: Yes. I caught him dancing too I'm too sexy yesterday. 

 

Colin: The hot Dad of R2 is a badge of honor. 

Colin: And you weren't complaining about my dancing yesterday Pen. ;)

 

Eloise: Urg. 

Eloise: Stop sharing your sex lives!

 

Francesca: And yet you are not the hot Dad of R1 or R3. 

 

Colin: You're mean. 

 

Hyacinth: What is wrong with people? 

Hyacinth: Colin isn't hot. 

Hyacinth: He's Colin. 

 

Gregory: Maybe it's time for Uncle Greg to do a school run? 

 

Eloise: Nope. I see where this is going and I'm stopping it right now! 

 

Anthony: Maybe we should get them to vote? 

Anthony: They need another stall at the fundraiser. 

Anthony: £1 to vote for the hottest B brother.

 

Gregory: Don't call us that it sounds weirdly dirty. 

 

Francesca: So you want people to pay actual and literal money to boost one of your egos? 

 

Violet: She has a point, three of you will sulk. 

 

Daphne: And what about the sisters? Are we not hot too? 

 

Colin: You want me to answer that? 

Colin: Because that's gross. 

 

Benedict: I for one think it's a great idea. 

 

Anthony: Daphne you can't ask your brother if you're hot. 

 

Daphne: I wasn't... I was making a point. 

Daphne: Do any of you have a brain cell in those big heads of yours? 

 

Sophie: Ben will win. For sure. Waste of time. 

 

Penelope: Colin is the one they like, so Ben won't beat him. How could he? 

 

Kate: Anthony is the obvious winner here. 

 

Gregory: I need someone to defend me here. 

 

Violet: I will darling. 

 

Gregory: No. Nope. Not a chance. Just no Mum. 

 

Simon: This family is close. Too close. 

 

Francesca: I'm worried you're actually doing this. 

 

Anthony: Of course we are. We need answers. 

 

Eloise: You're partners will just pay obscene amounts to vote. 

Eloise: You'll lose money. 

Eloise: Gregory will feel like shit cause he's single and no one will vote for him. 

Eloise: The rest of you idiots will draw. 

Eloise: And then you'll argue about it for the rest of your miserable lives. 

 

Francesca: Sell cakes. 

Francesca: Do a car wash. 

Francesca: Do sweets in the jar. 

Francesca: Anything. 

Francesca: Just please be fucking normal. 

 

Kate: Calendar. They should do a Bridgerton calendar. Shirtless obviously. 

 

Francesca: Normal. I said normal. 

 

Simon: Here we go. 

 

Kate: They could pose and people would buy it. 

 

Daphne: Mum would buy it. 

 

Violet: Of course I would. 

 

Eloise: Just me and my radical ideas here but why not do a kids calendar or something? 

 

Benedict: You're lack of parental knowledge is showing. 

 

Cressida: I wouldn't call that an insult. 

 

Daphne: Just write a cheque. 

 

Colin: Not very hands on Daff. 

 

Daphne: Okay then. Do something that isn't allowing people to ogle you just for a nice ego boost cause you're all on the edge of a midlife crisis. 

 

Benedict: Midlife crisis????? 

Benedict: I'm far too young for that. 

Benedict: You insult me. 

 

Penelope: You're 39 Ben. Anthony is over 40, Colin is 32, Greg is the only one who can say he isn't having a midlife crisis, because he is actually young. 

 

Benedict: Wow. 

Benedict: That was uncalled for. 

Benedict: I might be 39 on paper but in my heart I am 23. 

 

Sophie: Oddly specific. 

 

Anthony: Over forty??? The insult!!!

 

Kate: You're 42. 

 

Anthony: Like Benedict I am young at heart. 

Anthony: I got ID'd a month ago. 

 

Kate: You were dressed as a strawberry for that fruit party with the kids. 

Kate: They couldn't tell your age cause your face was painted. 

Kate: Anyway, you're an old man. You have driving shoes. 

 

Anthony: THEY'RE PRACTICAL! 

 

Violet: I have driving shoes. Nothing to be ashamed of. 

 

Benedict: And suddenly I feel young again. 

 

Sophie: You drink Horlkicks every night. 

 

Colin: Well that's old persony. 

 

Penelope: Colin you do not want me jumping in here. 

 

Colin: I'm the hot dad. Nothing old about me. 

 

Penelope: Do not test me. 

 

Daphne: You're all old. Deal with it. 

 

Eloiss: Yeah. You're old. And absolutely not DILFs. 

 

Violet: What is a DILF? 

 

Colin: See what you've done El. 

 

Kate: Anthony is one. 

Kate: And Violet if I may so you're a MiLF. 

 

Anthony: UNACCEPTABLE. 

 

Violet: I just googled it and thank you Kate. 

 

Francesca: So the school fair? 

Francesca: I won't stop messaging until I'm certain it won't be an ego boost. 

 

Anthony: So I already messaged Melinda. The head of the PTA. 

Anthony: She loved it. 

Anthony: So we're doing the hot vote thing. 

 

Eloise: Oh God. 

 

Penelope: Her son is in R2. 

 

Colin: Time to cement that six pack. 

 

Hyacinth: What six pack. 

 

Gregory: Rugby bod coming in hot. 

 

Benedict: Just renewed my gym membership. 

 

Sophie: You've never had a gym membership. 

 

Francesca: Some day my birth family are going to come for me and I will escape this hell. 

 

 

 

 

 

Several weeks later: 

 

Daphne: Well who won your macho stupidity contest? 

 

Penelope: They were mobbed. 

 

Sophie: Someone offered Ben thousands for his number. 

 

Kate: Someone tried to steal Ant's hoodie when he wasn't looking. 

 

Gregory: I won! 

 

Colin: CAUSE YOU RIGGED THE VOTE. 

Colin: CHEATING BASTARD. 

 

Violet: COLIN! 

 

Anthony: HE DID CHEAT THOUGH. 

 

Benedict: HE SLIPPED VOTES IN WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING. 

 

Hyacinth: The all caps is making me feel ill. 

 

Daphne: It's almost like we said this would be a bad idea. 

 

Colin: We need a rematch. 

 

Kate: I might need a divorce. That was hell. 

 

Anthony: Rematch. Yes. Divorce isn't even a threat anymore Kate. 

Anthony: We both know you love me too much. 

 

Kate: Sadly. 

 

Francesca: I have no words. 

 

Eloise: I do. 

 

Gregory: And I still win. 

 

Colin: CHEAT!

 

Anthony: LYING CHEATER! 

 

Benedict: I DEMAND A REMATCH!!!!!

Notes:

Let me know all your thoughts, I had so much fun with this triplet instalment! More soon x

Series this work belongs to: