Chapter Text
December, 2008
Regina Saskatchewan
International Prospects Cup
The spark only lit up when he came into view. But there was no trace of a scent.
“Ilya Rozanov?” His voice was boyish and gentle. “Shane Hollander. I-I wanted to introduce myself.”
And he knew that name, how could he not. One of the best hockey prospects out there.
Shane extended his hand, expecting Ilya to shake it. Which he did, as he examined his face—more like admired. Soft eyes, little freckles spread across his face accentuated his features, an almost natural smile on his lips. Still no scent.
“Oh. I’m-I’m not sure you’re supposed to smoke here” His tone was shy but he was already endorsing the rule follower persona so many people spread about him. His hands mimicked that of holding a cigarette.
“Okey”
“You’re an awesome player to watch”
“Yes”
At Ilya’s lack of words, Shane settled right beside him, leaning against the wall.
It was a freezing day, the whole floor covered in white. Ilya inhaled the air as he took a hit of the cigarette in his hand. He had heard it before, Shane Hollander, an extraordinary player making his way up the big leagues. Never a public mention of his second gender.
It was a first. Most hockey players were Alphas, there were only a few Betas around but none remarkable enough to become as known as the man standing next to him, despite his young age.
Ilya stole a glance to his side, Shane Hollander had piqued his interest ever since he saw the boy sliding across the ice, light as a feather and with a conviction in his eyes never seen before. A boring Beta, he’d catalogued from the start.
After a moment of silence Shane spoke: “Anyway I-I should go, they’re waiting for me but, um, good luck in the tournament” And once again he brought his hand forward.
Ilya shook it once more, but this time he was looking for something with the boy so close to him, anything, a small crack, a glimpse into his mind, an indication of his smell. But Shane Hollander offered nothing. No scent patches across his neck, no signs of submission nor dominance, not a click nor a spark.
But Ilya was interested nonetheless.
“You will not be so nice when we beat you” He said right after Shane had turned his back and started walking away.
The boy turned around as fast as he heard those words and with a smile so big, Ilya could practically read his mind. He wanted Ilya to acknowledge him. “That’s not happening”
“See you in final”
“A heart breaking loss for a young Canadian team still searching for an identity despite an incredible showing from the teenage phenom Shane Hollander. He just couldn’t get past that elite Russian defense. And more importantly the imposing Alpha, Ilya Rozanov, kept getting past theirs”
“See you at the draft” Ilya whispered close to Shane, half a smile at his lips.
Six months later
Los angeles
Mayor hockey league draft
Ilya Rozanov had won first place, first round pick. As much as it angered Shane, he had to admit Ilya Rozanov was an exceptional player on the ice. He had to get better, he had to improve, he had to be the best.
But as soon as he found Ilya's eyes burning into him, an almost hungry expression on his face, his conviction faded away momentarily.
The man looking down at him was one of the most aggressive Alpha hockey player he thinks he’s ever seen. Incredibly fast on the ice, swift and sure of himself. He had no problem checking another player with the force of a madman. Shane sometimes cringed at the mere sound of the impact while studying his games.
He had a commanding presence to himself, being rewarded with respect without asking for it. Whatever room he walked into, eyes followed him, careful and cautious. He had no problem showing his fangs and even sometimes snarled at his opponents. However, Ilya had never once directed it at Shane whenever they played against each other.
His scent was always on display, not that Shane could sense it, even if he tried to. Other teammates would complain about his egregious showing of dominance whenever the Alpha was around.
Late at night, with millions of thoughts rushing through his mind, Shane couldn’t fall asleep. He tossed and turned in his bed unable to make peace with himself, so with a loud groan he got up and dressed to head to the gym. Not before rearranging his bed, neat and tidy.
The hotel gym was small but well equipped, he settled into a stationary bike right in front of the wall mirror and let his thoughts be washed away by his exhaustion.
It was going well, his mind too tired to form any kind of sense of his surroundings, his body moved in accordance to his wishes, sweat was forming at his temple and running down his face to hit his chest, the music in his ears set an imaginary scenario far away for him to drift away.
That was until he felt the presence of another human right next to him.
Ilya Rozanov.
All quiet and determined, he had sneaked up on Shane, careful not to startle him as he took the bike right next to him and worked out at his same pace. Once he noticed the Alpha, Shane fixed his posture and sat upright, watching the way Ilya's eyes were fixed on Shane’s reflection in the mirror in front of them.
Shane went faster, Ilya saw and did so too.
Faster…
Faster…
Faster…
It was like a never ending race, an announcement of dominance. The Alpha was challenging him, Shane thought. And he wasn’t about to lose to his rival. Their breaths were ragged, sweat flying all around, and for a split second Shane wished he could smell Ilya’s scent. Drown in it.
Shane upped his speed once more and so did Ilya, not willing to lose to the man next to him. He turned his head to look at the Alpha, all worked up and looking back at him, his eyes were hiding a hint of excitement, like challenging his hockey opponent in the middle of the night in their hotel gym was all the way amusing.
When he started breathing heavily and barely holding himself together, Shane decided to surrender, to his surprise Ilya did so too at the same time. A tie. He practically stumbled into the floor, leaning against some equipment, the Alpha followed and sat right in front of him.
“What a fucking day, huh?” Ilya breathed, his accent thick.
“Yeah, totally” Shane replied, his own voice worn out by exhaustion.
“Is everything you dreamed of?”
“Almost”
“I’m sorry” Ilya said, his voice nothing but sarcastic.
Shane smiled involuntarily. “No, you're not”
“Montreal is…is nice, yes?”
“Yeah, it’s awesome”
“Boston is nice too?”
Shane stopped to think for a second, unsure why Ilya was asking him this of all people. “Think so. People like it there”
“We will…we will be seeing each other a lot” Ilya said, his tone neutral but Shane could hear a hint of expectancy in his voice.
Then it clicked. “Yeah…Montreal and Boston play against each other often”
In the silence of the night, the only noises crowding the space around them were their own breaths of fatigue. Ilya drank from his bottle once more, his eyes never leaving Shane’s. And after a moment, he offered some water to the man before him. Shane simply made a denying gesture with his hand, but Ilya was reluctant, he shook the bottle his way. And then, unexpectedly, he bared his fangs, sharp and devilish.
Shane couldn’t help the shivers that moved through his whole body as he imagined what it would feel like if those same teeth grazed his skin, picked at his neck, and marked him. Claimed him.
He instantly shook the thought away as he grabbed the bottle, and he registered the way Ilya’s hands purposely hovered above his. He took a single sip before he was handing the bottle back to the Alpha, who didn’t move an inch.
“More” Ilya mouthed. It wasn’t a command, it wasn’t laced with an ounce of real dominance. There was no bite to it.
And, still, Shane felt compelled to obey.
Then he handed the bottle back, this time Ilya did take it, satisfied enough with the display of pure submission, but not before sneaking another touch of hands.
“You are Beta, yes?” Ilya asked into the silence of the gym after a few seconds of tense staring.
Shane stilled from where he was sitting. Right. That always mattered.
“Why do you wanna know?” He asked, and couldn't help the uncertainty in his voice.
“Just…curious.”
Shane didn’t respond, didn’t really know how to answer. He had rehearsed the response over and over, maybe hundreds of times, the same simple answer.
I’m a Beta, I presented at an early age and ever since made no contact with Alphas nor Omegas. I’ve lived all my life away from them. He’d perfected it over the years, a polished version of the truth. A white little lie, very little. His mother had encouraged him to, really. He never thought it really mattered, he was certain of his designation, or rather lack thereof. There had never been complications, and he was more than happy to be regular, normal.
But, now, he wasn’t really sure what the truth was himself.
“I’m Alpha” Ilya spoke after a few beats of silence had passed, noticing the way Shane had shrunk into himself a little.
That earned him a sheepish laugh. “Yeah, no shit”
Ilya smiled, his fangs peeking out a little. “So…”
Shane’s laugh slowly died down.
Just get it out. Just say it.
But he couldn’t, not really. To this day he can’t explain why he couldn’t lie to Ilya’s face. Was it a lie?
The Alpha tilted his head to the side and finally let out a small sigh in defeat.
“Ok”
“Huh?” Shane asked, confused by the Alpha’s reaction, he thought he'd tried to pry more, be nosy.
“Is ok, Shane Hollander. I like mystery.” He said, with a barely noticeable growl at the end.
Shane smiled, sweet and earnest. Ilya noticed the slight shade of pink covering his ears and grinned.
2010
Toronto
“You look pretty” Ilya said, the lights reflecting off of him paired with darkness of the rink surrounding them made his eyes look bright and…honest.
But it made Shane’s skin prickly. “You’re wearing makeup too” He spat out, not even trying to hide his irritation. He didn’t think for a second that Ilya was complementing him.
“Yeah but I don’t look pretty” Said the Alpha, voice neutral and sure of his opinion.
After the photo shoot was over, Ilya sat on the benches while Shane hovered around the sidelines of the rink, leaning his head on the fence. The air was cold and filled with unsaid words.
“When they tell you, you do commercial with me and not just alone?” Ilya asked, filling the silence around them.
“I dunno, like, two days ago?” Shane answered, thinking nothing of it.
The Alpha nodded but didn’t follow up his question. That piqued Shane’s interest.
“Why? What did they tell you?”
“No, they tell me nothing. It was my idea” Ilya confessed, his expression showing as little as his tone of voice did.
But Shane saw it then too.
The start.
The locker showers were…unnerving more than anything. Shane let the warm water hit his face as he scrubbed his body, a rush of thoughts clouding his mind. His mother’s expectations, the weight of a whole team on his shoulders, the media’s attention on him, Ilya—
Like a manifestation of himself, the Alpha appeared in the corner of Shane’s eyes. Even though Shane couldn’t smell his scent, he could most definitely sense his presence, it was unavoidable. Especially while he was all alone, and naked, and very vulnerable.
He was by no means small. Shane was a grown man, around six foot, broad shoulders, muscles accentuated. Nothing about him screamed little, but that was exactly how he felt under the microscope of Ilya’s gaze, the undeniable Alpha. He used to feel a slight jealousy towards the man, way before he realized the nature of Ilya’s intentions. Ilya was everything Shane knew people wanted from him, imposing, a true leader, aggressive but in control, ready to bite back, and a very charismatic man.
If only he’d been born an Alpha, a document that assured his biology, something tangible, not this half life he lived.
While Shane’s thoughts spiraled, Ilya had settled on the showerhead at an arm’s length from Shane. His gaze fixated on the freckled man. Ilya’s gaze was terrifyingly definitive, like he knew exactly what he wanted and he knew that Shane wanted the same. It angered Shane as much as it made the hair at the back of his damp neck stand. Still, he, too, couldn’t take his eyes off of the Alpha.
That is until he noticed Ilya’s hands traveling around his body, moving down, down, and down. Until—
Shane couldn’t stop himself from looking below, and fuck, Ilya was big.
Big. Was he a dominant Alpha? Shane wondered, with that kind of presence to himself, it would be no surprise. It was moments like these that he wondered, despite himself, what it would feel like if he could feel some kind of slickness run down his thighs, if he could get aroused by a simple display of pheromones, if he could bend to a command.
I mean, he was human, for god’s sake, he’d wondered many things in his life. Things that always seemed out of reach for him. Like a line he could never cross. Not just what it would be like to be an Omega. He also wondered what it would feel like to claim someone, to pop a knot, to watch the way someone followed his commands.
Having no glimpse into his designation made room for many fantasies, some too embarrassing to admit. In the end, he was truly happy that he had no access to that world, really, it meant no unnecessary distractions, no feelings he couldn’t control, no life defined by his own desires. No destined tragedy. He could act to his own accord, he wasn’t swayed by meaningless displays of power, or dominance, or love. Being a Beta meant that he got to live a pretty distant life, most of his teammates and friends being Alphas meant that he was always walking a step behind. Unable to catch up. But that was okay, for the most part.
It was better than having presented as…
Male omegas were rare anyway, almost a myth in modern society. Only about two percent of the world population presented as male Omega.
And most male Alphas presented in early stages of their lives.
Shane was a late bloomer more than anything. An abnormality.
Something else.
Nothing else.
Just a boring Beta.
And that was fine.
“Not here” Shane muttered, voice stern as he stared at Ilya’s sex charged expression.
And Ilya complied.
Back in the locker rooms, Shane changed into his clothes as fast as he could, hoping Ilya hadn’t noticed all the filthy thoughts rushing through his mind as he basically burned a hole through the Alpha’s body back in the showers. He hoped Ilya didn’t expect anything from him, because he truly had nothing to offer.
It was frowned upon for an Alpha to take a liking, or worse, try and mate with a Beta.
As soon the Alpha came into his plain of sight, Shane straightened himself and let out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding.
“So, look, we can forget that happened in there, okay?” He started, his voice cracking.
“Is what you want?”
No
God, no.
“Yeah, for sure” Shane replied instead, masking nonchalance.
The Alpha seemed to look right through him as he laughed, a low purr that gave Shane unwanted goosebumps.
Ilya sighed “Oh, wow, you are a really bad liar”
Seconds of silence passed as the Alpha eyed Shane with predatory eyes. Moments later, he slowly approached the restless man, his stride showcasing a confidence that agitated Shane.
“What is your room number?” He simply asked, like he knew for sure Shane would give him the answer.
Don’t.
Don’t you dare—
“1410” Shane answered with an urgency he didn’t even know he had in him, he looked up at Ilya through dark eyelashes and found a hungry look in his eyes. The sight made him shudder.
Ilya adjusted the towel wrapped around his lower body, letting Shane devour him with his eyes. He wished so badly that Ilya would just tear the towel off his body and take him right then and there—
“Well, if I come to 1410 tonight at nine o’clock…”
“I might open” Shane said, more to himself than anything.
“I might knock” Ilya mocked.
Shane Hollander, second draft pick overall, star center for the Montreal Metros, a diamond in the rough. The best hockey prospect out there.
Wearing a suit to his first hookup with the captain of his rival team.
“What are you doing, dude?” He whispered looking back at his reflection in the hotel room mirror.
No suit, definitely not.
He was regretting the whole ordeal now more than ever, he had barely any experience with these sorts of things. Had only been with girls before, and even that hadn’t ended well. And now he was inviting an Alpha to his room, to, what? Fuck? No, no way. Maybe just a little touching, that’s all.
Fuck
He could run away, he could hide, he could pretend he was already asleep. He could simply not open the door. But now it was all set and done, and Shane Hollander was not the type to back down from his word.
His nerves were eating him alive as he waited for the clock to strike nine. What should he say?
Hello, you wanna talk about this? I’m not an Omega, nor an Alpha, and barely a Beta. Are you fine with that?
I’m…different.
Hey, I don’t have any scent nor can I smell yours, so it will probably be very boring.
So…I have never been with anyone before, let alone an Alpha and—
Two solid knocks came through.
Shane practically jumped from his seat before launching himself off of the chair he’d been waiting on and sprinting to the door.
“Thought you might chicken out”
“I’m not a chicken”
Rozanov circled around Shane like a hawk in the sky, eying its prey with precision. And a sole purpose.
But Shane reached out first, unable to keep his hands to himself when he had such an Alpha in front of him. And Ilya took that as an invitation.
His lips were soft, too soft, and Shane found himself drowning on his tongue. Ilya was desperate, he could tell, but he was gentle. Gentle in the same way someone is gentle when they’re trying not to break something out of pure excitement. His hands traveled up and down Shane’s body, they stilled around some places and then continued to roam around. And Shane wanted oh so bad to feel him too. He brought his hands down and almost fell down to his knees when he heard the low groan that came out of Ilya’s lips the moment he grazed the Alpha’s growing length straining against his jeans. He was making him that way, that noise that Ilya made was purely because of Shane.
He felt confident.
And he took that confidence and dropped to his knees properly. He heard the Alpha gasp quietly at the sight as Shane worked to free his dick.
He’d seen it before, back in the showers. But not this close. Not this hard. Shane swallowed instinctively, already imagining the stretch that the size of Ilya would make around his mouth. And in no time, he was feeling it. He took his time first, kissing the tip as erotically as he could and then leaving tiny licks from the head to the base before finally taking him in his mouth.
The sounds that came out from above him, raw and unfiltered, paired with Shane’s own moans around Ilya’s dick, made him feel the wetness forming in his own pants.
He didn’t even take him all the way, for a first time, Ilya was way too big. But Shane tried his best, wanting to take as much as he could. Until the Alpha dragged him back up, without letting Shane make him come.
“Was it that bad?” He tried to joke, tried to hide his insecurities.
“No, no. Too much, too good” Ilya reassured as if he knew that was all Shane wanted.
Shane laughed despite himself, and he found the way Ilya rubbed his arms up and down soothing.
After a moment of silence Ilya spoke. “Have you ever been with Alpha?” He asked.
“No” Shane confessed rather quietly. “I’m—” He tried to explain. Explain what? He wasn’t sure as the words died in his mouth.
But Ilya waited, he didn’t push, he didn’t ask, he simply looked at Shane as if he hung the moon. Shane almost thought it meant something.
It allowed Shane to take a breath and keep going. “I’m not a Beta”
Ilya nodded, taking in the information. He stayed silent, offering Shane more time to talk.
“Well—I mean, I’m—I’m not, um” Fuck. He was fucking this whole thing up, wasn’t he?
“Hollander” Ilya cut through the spiraling in his mind, his voice was definitive. It made Shane look up at him. “Breathe”
“Yeah, yeah” Shane murmured, following the Alpha’s orders. Shane was aware of his biology, he didn’t have an ounce of Omega in him, but he felt it was so easy to listen and do whatever Ilya told him.
After organizing his thoughts and breathing normally once again, Shane continued: “I’m not a Beta. But I’m not an Alpha…or an Omega either. My second gender results were inconclusive on the first exam I had” What the fuck. Shane didn’t need to tell him his whole life story, at all. It was probably turning Ilya off, all the talking, but Shane quite literally couldn’t shut his mouth. “And then I took it again before entering the league, and all…, and they were marked as inconclusive as well. So, uh, well, I’m not… you know—”
“You’re special” Ilya finished his sentence. His voice was soft, as if what he said was nothing but the truth.
Shane looked up at him and found not a hint of mockery in Ilya’s eyes. Which made him all the more confused. Special? Sure, he guessed. Well, he’d never thought it like that. He thought the opposite actually, he thought he was nothing but ordinary. Invisible.
But Ilya saw him then and there.
“Shut up” He pushed at the Alpha’s shoulder playfully, trying to make his stupid beating heart slow down.
Ilya’s hands found Shane’s waist once more to recover the space they’d lost from the push.
“Is true” Ilya continued. “I think I knew it from start”
Shane shot him a curious look, his hands coming up to rest on top of the Alpha’s shoulders. “Knew what?”
“That you’re special” Ilya whispered the words into Shane’s mouth, so close to him. He grazed his lips against the other man’s, not quite a kiss but just as sexy.
“And you’re fine with it?” Shane said breathless as Ilya started sucking gently on his earlobe. He couldn’t help the soft moan that left his lips soon after.
He heard Ilya chuckle lightly against his ear, the feeling sending shivers down his spine. “More than fine” He purred.
And at that moment, Shane knew he was threading on some dangerous territory.
And at that moment, he didn’t care.
With the hands he had around the Alpha’s shoulders, he pushed them both inside the room, making Ilya stumble first backwards into the bed in the middle. The room was almost completely dark except for the lamp Shane had left on, but that was enough to see the look of pure devotion spread across Ilya’s face, looking up at him, mouth slightly parted and pupils blown as if Shane was a monument. And that made him smile, they stared at each other for a long second before Ilya started taking off his clothes with the speed of a desperate man.
Shane couldn’t help but laugh. To have the most feared yet respected man—Alpha—in the league so eager to get in bed with him, to have him all to himself. It made Shane wish, just for a millisecond, that he could be able to claim Ilya as his Alpha and make him his.
Mine. My Alpha.
The thought vanished as soon as it materialized. And he heard Ilya’s voice distantly.
“Not fair, take them off too” He protested as he took his socks off.
“Hm?” Shane snapped out of his trance.
“I want to see you too. Please”
Please. That word made Shane feel powerful, like he could do anything right now and Ilya would just say Please. He wondered how beautiful he’d look, all destroyed and begging for Shane. He wanted to make a mess out of this big strong Alpha.
He followed Ilya’s request. Taking his clothes off in such a slow manner that Ilya knew for sure he was purposely making him wait. It’s fine, he’d wait. He’d wait the whole night if needed.
And then Shane Hollander started folding his clothes, folding them. Neatly and carefully, before setting them down on top of a table near the bed. Ilya could not feel more enamored, if he even knew that word, but he knew his heart was almost beating out of his chest. He let out a breathless laugh, leaning down on the bed, propped up on his elbows. Shane rolled his eyes and began approaching the bed with only his boxers on while Ilya was fully naked.
Ilya almost immediately scooted to the side of the bed to let Shane rest next to him.
“You want to try again?” Ilya asked, almost in mock.
As if he didn’t know that Shane was dying to.
Shane only nodded and after getting Rozanov’s permission, he moved closer to the Alpha and lowered his head until he was at eye level with Ilya’s achingly hard dick. Without even a warning, he sank deep. Too deep. Ilya let out a loud moan as his shaking hands found Shane’s soft hair. Shane had no mercy for the man above him as he worked his mouth around Ilya’s length, sucking harshly as if he wanted to milk him, and then stopping abruptly to twirl his tongue around.
Ilya couldn’t help but wonder how he was so good at this. How much practice had he had, and with whom. The Alpha’s scent spiked, not with arousal but with something bitter. Shane couldn’t notice at all, and Ilya was grateful. But he did feel the grip Ilya had on his hair tighten. He swallowed up the scent he could actually smell, his nose touching the hair at the base of Ilya’s dick and making him dizzy.
And just like before, Ilya yanked him up, towards him and finished by himself. Shane’s breath hitched with the way he watched the Alpha bring himself to climax and come, the sight was so intense that Shane thought he could come just from that. Before Ilya brought their lips together, tasting himself on Shane’s lips.
“Okay, was good” Ilya breathed, moments after his high had died down, acting like he was done. It was obviously a joke, but it must have been a very bad one as he noticed the way Shane’s eyes darkened.
“Are you serious?”
Ilya laughed, nervously. Then he moved swiftly to hover above Shane, resting his lower body right in between Shane’s very inviting and open legs. “Just kidding. I would never do that”
Shane looked up at him, his eyes were so shiny and so beautiful. Ilya thought he could drown in them. “You’re an asshole”
“Mm, no” The Alpha began leaving tiny kisses across Shane’s body, first his pretty face, then at his jaw, those were more like bites than anything, then he traveled lower, close to his neck, onto the place where his scent glands would lie, if he had any. But seeing as he didn’t do more than just giggle at the sensation of Ilya’s tongue on his skin, it was more than proof.
And then he reached Shane’s pecs, they were perfectly plump, soft and squishy as he put his hands around them, testing the feel. He heard Shane laugh somewhere above him, so he tilted his head upwards and caught the beautiful sight.
This was just a hookup, a way to spend the night. It didn’t mean anything, it shouldn’t have meant anything. But Ilya couldn’t help the way his breath almost stopped.
Shane dragged him out of his own head by placing his big hands on both sides of Ilya’s face, and squeezed. Fucking squeezed, like Ilya was a baby. Like Ilya was his baby.
“You like my tits, huh?” He teased, his voice was sweet like honey.
Tits. That’s the only word Ilya registered. He hadn’t even called them that, Shane called his own chest a pair of tits.
Shane must have noticed how hard Ilya was with the way he shifted his weight beneath him, rubbing his own clothed dick against the Alpha’s. And the way his smile faltered, changing to something more raw, more primal.
He moved Ilya’s head lower once more, leaving him right in front of his pe—tits.
“Suck” He ordered.
Now how was that for a first hookup? Shane internally cringed at himself the moment the word left his mouth, wondering if Ilya thought it was too much.
Ilya didn’t even need the order, he was going to do it regardless. But it definitely made his body grow with need. Without questions, he immediately latched onto Shane’s right nipple, sucking intently before taking a small bite as if he wanted to see whether he could eat it or not. Shane groaned when his body registered the pain that traveled from his chest to his dick.
He squirmed beneath Ilya’s weight, unintentionally or maybe intentionally rubbing himself against the Alpha.
Ilya switched from one nipple to the other like a man on a mission. The sounds that he dragged out of Shane made his body tingle, a feeling he’d never felt before, because from the order he’d followed he had achieved to make the man beneath him moan and whimper in delicious pleasure. And he found himself wishing Shane would tell him what else to do, what else he liked, what else he wanted from Ilya.
His hands traveled lower with intent, they landed right above the waistband of Shane’s boxers.
“Wait—wait” The man panted helplessly, quick hands reached Ilya’s to stop him.
Ilya retreated instantly as if he’d burn his hands.
“Just…uh” Shane let out a helpless small laugh. He could barely hold eye contact. “It’s been a while, I guess. I don’t—I’m…”
Ilya watched from above, the way Shane’s eyebrows furrowed, his eyes growing even more shiny by the second, a war in his mind.
“We won’t if you don’t want” The Alpha reassured, leaning away to sit on his knees right between Shane’s now slightly closed legs.
“No” Shane said almost immediately, embarrassingly fast. He wanted this, he wanted it so fucking bad. “I—I do want. It’s just…” He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “Jesus, this is pathetic”
“No, no. Is okay” Ilya leaned forward once more and cupped Shane’s cheek.
Maybe casual had been out the window the moment he first saw this man.
“Is normal”
“No, it’s not. I’m…” Shane searched for the words in his head.
And Ilya waited.
“Let me just—I’ll do it” He pushed lightly at Ilya’s shoulder gesturing for him to move. And he did.
He took a deep breath, this was fine. Ilya wasn’t an asshole, he was…kind. Jesus. He was. Anyone hearing this from him would laugh in his face, but it was true. Ilya was way too fucking good.
Shane wanted to be good for him too.
Slowly but surely, he brought his hands down and began taking his underwear off.
And the moment it was off, he felt bare.
And a little intimidated.
Ilya and him were very different. In many ways. And size was not an exception.
God, stupidly big Russian.
Well, this wasn’t entirely coincidental. Shane never presented, he never fully developed. He felt like a mutt sometimes. Not quite a man nor a woman.
Ilya’s eyes were sort of stuck? Shane thought. He was staring at his whole body as if he was a sculpture in a museum. It made Shane want to cover himself up completely.
“Can I?” Ilya asked for permission. As if Shane wouldn’t give himself up in a heartbeat.
He nodded at lightning speed. His whole face was heating up.
Ilya moved positions so he could be facing inches away from Shane’s dick, he placed both hands behind Shane’s knees to allow him more space. And he sniffed. A sniff.
Shane couldn’t stop the whine that left his mouth, twisting beneath Ilya’s hold.
The Alpha smelled, and smelled, and then some more. As if he couldn’t get enough of it, at some point it started tickling.
“Okay, stop, what are you, a dog?” Shane joked, bringing his hand to hold the side of Ilya’s face.
When Ilya lifted his head to look up at Shane, he thought his breathing stopped. He looked so fucking good, and so right. Hair a mess and eyes completely dark. All because of Shane.
“C’mon” Shane purred, urging Ilya to taste him.
He didn’t fail to spot the dangerous smile that formed at the Alpha’s lips. “What?”
Shane felt himself growl, or at least attempted to. “Alpha”
Ilya’s smile faded in an instant, his mouth curling up into something darker, something serious. He lowered his head and took Shane into his mouth.
The abruptness made Shane outright cry into the silence of the hotel room, thank god there was no one else in the rooms next to him. Otherwise they would have heard how pathetic he sounded.
Ilya worked fast and without hesitation. He could basically wrap his whole tongue around Shane’s length. It was perfect, as if he was made for him. He relished in his taste, wanted to drink it all up, along with Shane’s whines from above. He licked him up and down and then sucked the same way, taking Shane came almost naturally for him, it was the first time he’d felt genuine pleasure in eating someone out. Given Shane’s length that’s exactly how it felt.
And Shane…he was completely lost. He thought he had reached heaven and above by now. He could barely keep his eyes open as he gripped Ilya’s hair for dear life as if he was the only connection he had with the mortal plane. He could barely make out his own voice from all the pleasure that was running through his body and clouding his mind. His neck tingled in a way that made the hairs at the back of his hair stand up relentlessly. He was utterly blissed out.
By the end of it, he didn’t even notice Ilya getting his fill of Shane’s come. He simply tried to breathe normally as the high went away.
And when he felt more cognizant, Ilya was laying down right beside him and breathing in the same way.
The minutes passed, they lay in silence except for the cars that passed by the window from time to time.
The night was fading away.
Shane was the one who broke the silence. “You can’t tell anybody. About this”
“I’m telling everyone, Hollander”
“I’m serious” He turned his head to the side to look at Ilya, and he returned the look. “No one can know”
“Okay” The Alpha whispered.