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How to be Sayeon

Summary:

Jugyeong Baek lives in a small town in the middle of nowhere. She’s got her ex-boyfriend/best friend, Jaeil, and her girlfriend Ryujin. Things are going great. Except for the fact that Jaeil’s pissed because she ‘forgot’ to tell him she was dating Ryujin. And the three of them had to go to the bank together, and of course it's attacked by aberrants the second they step inside. Oh, and her name isn’t actually Jugyeong Baek. It’s Sayeon Lee, and she’s been in hiding ever since she sent her mother and stepfather to prison.

Notes:

I recently reread The Girls I've Been, and I realized both Sayeon and Nora are liars and it only spiraled from there. Idk how much this will make sense if you haven't read the book, sorry. Chapter titles will come from lyrics from my handjumper playlist on spotify.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: nothing good is meant to stay

Chapter Text

Jugyeong Baek watched Ryujin and Jaeil from afar, trying not to fidget with her hair. Observing was one of her worse habits, according to Jaeil, but she needed to know what she was walking into. They stood in the parking lot of the bank together. The two weren’t talking to each other, or even looking at each other. In fact, they seemed perfectly determined to pretend the other didn’t exist. Ryujin looked guilty, which made sense. She hadn’t wanted to lie about their relationship, but Jugyeong had insisted on it, claiming she wasn’t sure if her sister would accept her. In reality, Samin had been into girls since before Jugyeong was even born. But at first she just wanted this thing between her and Ryujin to be just theirs for a while, like letting people know too fast would ruin it. And after that she was too terrified to admit the lie, knowing how hurt Jaeil would be.

Jaeil was trying to look like he wasn’t angry, which meant he was really, deeply pissed. He hated when she lied to him. It was the only thing they ever really argued about, the lying. Though, he’d only ever gotten this angry once. That had led to the end of them as a couple, and nearly to the end of them as anything at all. Jugyeong couldn’t lose him. She’d have to smooth this over, before that happened. She plastered a smile on her face and walked over. She’d brought coffee for Ryujin and water for Jaeil. Coffee, because Ryujin was not a morning person and would screw this up by yelling at either Jugyeong or Jaeil. Water, because she knew Jaeil probably went to Jungwoo’s and got blackout drunk after what happened the afternoon before, and even after all these years, she still couldn’t deal with pissed-off, hungover Jaeil, who refused to drink tap water.

They both looked up as she walked over. Ryujin looked relieved, grabbing the coffee out of Jugyeong’s hand and taking a sip, then giving her a look that said what in the hell took you so long? Jaeil ignored the bottle of water until she tossed it to him, then tucked it into his pocket.


“Did you bring the deposit?” He said, his voice dull. Jugyeong stayed calm. She’d fix this. She had to.
“Yeah. Here it is.” She nodded, fishing out the envelope from her pocket. They’d spent the last weeks together, gathering money for charity. He snatched the envelope from her hand quickly, as if afraid to touch her. She tried not to let it get to her.


“Jaeil,” Jugyeong began the apology she had rehearsed all night, but he had already begun to walk into the bank, leaving her and Ryujin standing there. Her girlfriend grabbed Jugyeong’s hand and squeezed it, maybe to try and comfort Jugyeong. Or was she trying to get Jugyeong to comfort her? Even after all these months, it was difficult to get a read on what Ryujin wanted. With Jaeil, everything had come easy, until it all fell apart. But dating Ryujin, it felt like she was battling her own nature.


Without thinking, she walked after Jaeil, pulling Ryujin after her. The inside of the bank was deserted. Besides a security guard, a child sitting in the corner and the four people in line in front of Jaeil, it was just the three of them and the bank teller. Jaeil was already halfway to the teller when Jugyeong and Ryujin caught up.


“Jaeil, please, just let us explain!” Jugyeong said, a touch of desperation creeping in despite her best efforts to stay calm. Pathetic, a voice whispered in the very back of her mind. “We didn’t mean to-”


“Save it, Jugyeong!” Jaeil looked her in the eyes for the first time. “You lied, again. I really don’t know what I expected.” Ryujin stepped forward, her guilty expression twisting into anger. Jugyeong tried to stop her, Jaeil would never forgive her if Ryujin blew up at him, but it was too late.


“Don’t talk to her like that! What’s the big deal with us dating, anyways? You told me you were over her! If you weren’t, I never would’ve- aren’t you about to ask out Soon-ja?” Ryujin snapped, getting in Jaeil’s space. Jugyeong could see he was pissed, but he just shook his head in response to Ryujin’s question, stepping backwards. Usually, if someone yelled at him like this, he’d lash out. He and Ryujin were similar in that way. Instead, he took a deep breath, as though putting his thoughts in order before talking.


“I am over her, trust me. And I’ve got no problems with you two dating. I’m just pissed neither of you thought to tell me about it. And,” He whirled on Jugyeong. “I’m worried that it’s us all over again. That you’re hiding everything from her, like you hid everything from me.” Jugyeong stepped back, her heartrate speeding up.


“It’s not like that!” Jugyeong insisted. “I was planning on telling her-”


“Hiding what? Telling me what?” Ryujin cut in, her eyes narrowing. Jugyeong’'s heart froze at the look in her girlfriend's eyes. It was angry, yes, but even worse, it was afraid. Of what, Jaeil? Jugyeong? “If you’re talking about her mom, I know about that. She was a conwoman right? And now she’s in prison.”


“Really? That’s all you said to her?” Jaeil scoffed, giving Jugyeong a look that made her wither internally. How had this all gone so wrong? She’d fucked up, again. Jaeil kept talking, in a voice that was unfamiliar not in its anger, but in the fact that the anger was directed at her. “She barely told you anything, for god's sake. Jugyeong-”


He never got the chance to finish that sentence, because at that moment, one of the four people whirls around and suddenly he’s got bright blue eyes, he’s an aberrant, and another one is screaming orders, but Jugyeong can barely hear him, staring at the aberrant in front of her. Jaeil grabbed her and dragged her to the ground next to him and Ryujin and still she couldn’t move because her mind was in a spiral of I’ve been found, shitshitshit, Samin’s gonna kill me if I get hurt here.


When she shoved the thoughts down and looked back up, two of the four men were yelling at the bank teller, who’s already started crying. The other two had their essence activated. One had a blue saber, and already seems slightly distracted. The other had green essence of some sorts, and his attention seemed razor-sharp at first, but he kept looking back at the crying teller.


Jugyeong waited until both of them seemed to be distracted, then pulled out her phone. Jaeil and Ryujin both gave her incredulous looks, but she ignored them and sneakily put in the passcode and texted Samin one word: Crimson. Then she tucked her phone away again, just in time to escape the notice of Green Essence. Jugyeong had only had to use their code word once before. Samin would be on her way as soon as she got the message. Now it was just a matter of surviving until she arrived.

Notes:

Next I'll probably do a flashback, because I like the way the book is formatted and so I'm putting that into this fanfic.