Chapter Text
Shit, did I miss it? Fuck… um, hey… whatever. Not like you listen to these. I don't even know why I still call you. I know you don't want to talk to me anymore, and I get why you won't come home — I don't know if I would either, if I'm being honest. I just… I keep hoping you'll change your mind. I miss you. I still think about you every day. I keep replaying these… random moments over and over in my head, trying to figure out if there was a moment when I could have said something, done anything… to protect you, to keep you safe, to fix it, to… stop everything from going so wrong… I know I let you down. All I ever wanted was to take care of you, I never wanted any of this other shit. I never asked for… whatever… everything is just so fucked. I… I'm just so fucking sorry…
It's so lonely here. People just keep leaving. Are you ever lonely where you are? Do you ever think about when we were kids, and it was so… easy? For a while, at least… I mean, we were both already pretty messed up, but we had each other, y'know? I didn't think anything would ever come between us back then. No one was ever going to leave. And I… I wonder sometimes… do you remember the time we kissed…? The time that wasn't an accident, I mean. I know I took it too far, and we were both drunk, or whatever… I just… I wonder, was that the moment? Is it a good or bad memory? Is it all just bad now? Even with all the fighting between us… how much we hurt each other. Is that when I lost you…? I fucked everything up just right then and there, no going back…
But then… the way you looked at me when I came to see you… I think about it a lot, what I should have said or done instead… maybe you would have come with me… and… you know I forgive you, right? If there was anything to forgive, that is — I never cared about it, we both hurt each other way before that night, and I could see the way you were looking at me, at my arm… you didn't mean it, and you didn't mean what you said… I know you better than that. You know that, right? You know that I… that I still care about you. And that you can always come home, even if it feels like you have nowhere to go, I promise. You can come here, and I'll be right here waiting when you do… always. If you have no one, you'll still have me. I promise. I'd never leave you…
I… I know you won't call me back, but… call me back… please…
/ / /
[ 1999 ]
Sharp pain bursts through Sasuke's hand as his knuckles connect with Mizuki's cheekbone, sending him crashing into the dirt. Purple chakra flickers across Sasuke's closed fist as it tightens. Mizuki looks up at Sasuke, tears filling his eyes as they lock with Sasuke's — shining red, daring him to get up again. "Next time, I'll break it," Sasuke's lip curls, tensing under the scrutiny of so many eyes — everyone on the playground is staring at him standing protectively over the demon of Konoha. No one looks more shocked than Naruto, round blue eyes blinking up at his unexpected champion.
Mizuki scrambles back, running before Sasuke decides he hasn't learned his lesson. Sasuke subtly shakes his hand out, turning to look down at Naruto. Dirt smeared across his cheek and arm, lip bloodied. Sasuke tilts his head slightly, as if deciding what to do next. Naruto can feel his pulse hammering, hands shaking as he digs his nails into the dirt in an attempt to hold back his tears, exhaling shakily as he stares up at Sasuke's cold glare.
Sasuke shifts on his feet after a few moments, hand extending towards Naruto; an offering. Naruto's heart leaps, eyes darting between Sasuke's expression and hand. A trick? A joke? Sasuke isn't like that, at least, he's never been like that before. Though, this is the last thing Naruto would have expected from someone like Sasuke. Someone important. Dark hair falling into dark eyes, cheeks slightly flush — exertion or embarrassment? Naruto reaches up cautiously, fingertips brushing Sasuke's as his heart continues to pound violently, pulse drumming in his ears. Before either can move further, Sasuke's arm is seized by their teacher.
"Uchiha!" Iruka frowns, already dragging him back towards the school. "You are in big trouble. You could have really hurt that boy!" Iruka chides.
"He swung first…!" Sasuke argues.
"You know what you did wrong, Sasuke. You can't hit someone with a chakra infusion like that, you should know better," Iruka lectures. Sasuke glares up at him before he glances back — Naruto is getting to his feet on his own, staring at him with the same wide eyes. His clothes are dirty and torn, generally unkempt and plain — no family symbol to provide any sort of protection. Alone. The other children on the playground give Naruto a wide berth as they slowly return to playing, not wanting to be noticed. Sasuke's glare narrows on Naruto as Iruka drags him inside. Troublesome.
Naruto clutches his scraped hands to his chest, paying no attention to the people moving around him, avoiding him as if he may attack them. Naruto knows better than to do something like that. He never swings first, and never swings back. It's better to take it than to further cement himself as a monster amidst his peers. Naruto waits a few moments before following Sasuke and Iruka back into the school, wanting to hear what happens next. Nothing should happen to Sasuke, he decides, Naruto wants to take the blame if there is any. More importantly, he wants to know why. Why would Sasuke do that? Naruto hurries through the dim halls, first checking their classroom to see if Iruka simply put Sasuke in time-out. No such luck. Naruto continues down the quiet hall, glancing into each emptied classroom as he makes his way to the front of the school. Did Iruka really take Sasuke to the principal?
The main office is silent as Naruto approaches, ducking under the windows to avoid detection. He leans to peek through one of the large glass panes, intent on assessing the situation. Iruka stands before the principal, gesturing to Sasuke — Naruto can't hear what he's saying. Sasuke is seated on a bench, staring sullenly at the floor. Iruka bows to the principal and heads for the door. Naruto ducks again, hiding behind the corner until he hears Iruka's footsteps fade away. When Naruto peeks back through the window his eyes instantly meet with Sasuke's, an intense glare that bores directly into his soul.
Naruto's heart begins to pound again. He doesn't understand. Naruto tucks himself back behind the corner, straining to listen through the glass as he vaguely hears the principal speaking on the phone. When things go quiet once more, Naruto ventures another peek through the window — Sasuke has redirected his glare to the floor, but now his cheeks are pink, like before when he offered his hand. Naruto feels his face begin to heat, he isn't sure why. What did they say to Sasuke? Naruto crouches back down and decides to wait, peering around the corner towards the school's front entrance. Did they call his mom?
Only a few minutes go by before the school's front doors open. Sasuke's older brother, Itachi, hurries through the hall and straight into the office. Naruto quickly moves back up to spy on the situation. They don't speak much. Itachi simply bows after listening to the principal, then offers his hand to Sasuke. He takes it, following Itachi out of the office. Naruto's heart continues to thump, his opportunity to ask is about to pass before his eyes. Sasuke's never really spoken to him before, barely acknowledged him — in many ways, he's been the nicest person simply by ignoring Naruto. Why would he defend him like this now?
The office door clicks shut, followed by hurried footsteps towards the front doors as Itachi begins to chide Sasuke. Naruto scrambles to his feet, jumping from behind the corner. "Hey, wait!" The Uchiha boys both pause, turning back to look at Naruto. Sasuke immediately glares at him, blush darkening. Naruto doesn't understand why he's looking at him like that. What is he thinking? Naruto puffs his chest out, hoping they can't tell that his heart is racing. "I… tell me why… why did you do that…!?"
Itachi looks down at Sasuke, as if the answer intrigues him as well. Sasuke inhales, looking away from Naruto before he answers. "Mizuki is a loud jerk."
Naruto clenches his fists, "Thank you…" He closes his eyes, cheeks burning hot. "Do you, um… can we be friends, then!?"
"You're loud, too," Sasuke replies, frowning at him.
Naruto's expression falters, recognizing that he didn't quite say no. "I don't wanna owe you, if we're, um…! If you need someone hit, just tell me and I…!"
"Loser, you don't know how to fight," Sasuke huffs.
"Sasuke," Itachi gently tugs him towards Naruto, closing the distance between them. "You should be friends — at least friendly. Our mother was friends with his, and you know better." Sasuke softens at this reminder, only able to meet Naruto's bewildered gaze for a few moments before looking away again. Itachi smiles at Naruto, "If you ever need something, you can always ask us, okay?"
"Did you really know my mom?" Naruto asks, looking up at Itachi.
Itachi nods, "I was pretty little, but I knew her. She was nice."
Naruto smiles, nodding back. "Thanks… I don't need anything, though."
"Well, if you ever do," Itachi smiles warmly. "Sasuke, you should be keeping an eye on him like mother asked." He turns his attention back to Sasuke, who's face turns bright red from the accusation, once again unable to look at Naruto.
"I already do!" he hisses, gritting his teeth.
Naruto stares at Sasuke, feeling himself tremble again. He's a little bit taller, a little bit older, a little bit stronger. He's always been too cool to talk to Naruto, but Sasuke has never been unkind to him — not like everyone else. And if he thinks about it, people seem to mostly ignore him whenever Sasuke is nearby. Did he say something to them? Do something? Has he been protecting Naruto all this time somehow?
"I…" Naruto tries to stand straighter, "I'm gonna be strong and super tall soon, so you don't need to worry about me…! I'll protect you next time!" Sasuke scoffs in response, pointedly looking away. Naruto puts his fists up, imitating the way Sasuke stood after he punched Mizuki. "I will be! I don't need protection, I'll show you! I bet I could even take you soon!"
Sasuke glares, "Tch, you are so loud and annoying, I—"
"Enough," Itachi grabs the back of Sasuke's shirt, yanking him backwards. "No more fighting today. We'll see you, Naruto, be safe." Itachi gives him a short bow before scooping Sasuke off the ground, removing him entirely. Sasuke looks back at Naruto over Itachi's shoulder, dark eyes boring into bright blue. Naruto bristles, blood rushing through his ears as a small smile tugs at his cheeks, in spite of everything.
Someone protected him, has been looking out for him. He didn't even notice somehow. In spite of how abrasive Sasuke is — he seems to be like that with everyone, all the time, Naruto has noticed — and he didn't say they weren't friends. Are they? Naruto isn't quite sure, he's never been able to make a friend before. But Sasuke is watching out for him, that seems like something a friend would do. Maybe they are, or could be.
"Naruto, there you are," Iruka appears, making Naruto jump. "Are you alright? I didn't see Mizuki hit you, I'm sorry." Iruka kneels in front of Naruto, inspecting his bruised lip. Naruto nods, still looking at the front doors — the Uchiha are gone now, but Naruto can't stop thinking about them. About Sasuke. Naruto wipes at his swollen lip as Iruka stands, taking his hand to lead him back to the classroom.
"I made a friend…!" Naruto tells Iruka, smiling up at him in spite of the way it pulls his swollen lip.
Iruka smiles back at him. "You mean Sasuke? That might be good, actually, he's pretty shy. Make sure you play nice, and no more fighting, okay?"
Naruto nods, agreeing that this is a good match. Sasuke is just shy, but they must have been friends this whole time — Naruto just didn't realize it. He decides that he will be strong and tall, as soon as possible. He'll protect Sasuke, too, no matter what. That's what friends do, even if they get in trouble for it.
/ / /
[ 2014 — Present — January ]
A burly man slams into the table, sending drinks crashing to the floor before he lands among the broken glass and beer, blood already beginning to fill his mouth as his face sears with pain. Naruto flexes his hand, standing by the bar — his knuckles are aching, eyes flashing red as the gaze of every patron in the bar lands on him. "Anyone else wanna say something about Sasuke Uchiha in front of me?!" Naruto bares his teeth, daring someone to try and hit him first.
Two men attempt to grab him from behind, yanking him backwards. Naruto swings his arm back, grabbing one of them by the hair before he slams his weight backwards, throwing both of them off balance. As Naruto brings the first to the ground, still holding his hair, he shifts his weight forward to kick the second directly in the stomach, sending him flying back into the bar before he returns his attention to the first, punching him directly across the face as his knuckles burn red with chakra.
Someone grabs the back of his jacket, yanking him off the man before he can hit him a second time. Naruto swings out once more, punching the new assailant directly in the side of his thigh. It isn't until the man's knee hits the ground that Naruto registers his mistake. Kiba glares at him, redoubling his grip on the back of Naruto's jacket to yank him off the man as he stands again, unsteady. "You stupid, drunk, asshole," Kiba growls, slamming Naruto forward into the bar.
"Oh, come on, are you arrestin' me!?" Naruto complains.
"You just assaulted a police officer, idiot," Kiba jams Naruto's arms behind his back, handcuffing him — knowing better than to allow Naruto to make the walk to his car uncuffed. A hard learned lesson.
"I did not, I hit you, and you're jus'… Kiba…" Naruto rolls his eyes.
"Other charges include assault, property damage, drunken disorderly conduct, public intoxication…" Kiba lists, dragging Naruto out of the bar as others move to help the patrons to their feet. "Ambulance is on its way," Kiba calls, shoving Naruto out the door. "You dipshit."
"Bein' so mean tonight," Naruto frowns as Kiba escorts him to his car, shoving Naruto into the back seat.
"You're fucking lucky it was me. Just shut your stupid trap, alright? I'm just gonna throw you in the tank," Kiba sighs, slamming the door before he makes his way to the driver's seat while Akamaru barks at Naruto through the metal cage separating the back from the front seats. Naruto leans forward to press his face to the mesh, allowing Akamaru to lick his face happily.
Besides the uncontrollable giggling as Akamaru yaps and continues to lick him, Naruto upholds his end of the bargain, remaining silent the entire ride back to the station. Kiba helps him out of the car and escorts him to the empty drunk tank, uncuffing him before gently shoving him through the gate. Naruto groans and sits down on the cold floor.
"You need to pull it together, Naruto, I'm not always gonna be the cop arresting your sorry ass," Kiba locks the door. "And I can't keep doing you favours, either."
"I didn't even start that fight," Naruto scowls, anger rising in his chest again. "Did you hear what they said 'bout Sasuke?"
"Probably nothing that isn't in his fucking police file," Kiba glares, "Just tell me who I'm calling so I can get on with my night."
Naruto inhales slowly, pretending that he's thinking about it. "One, six, six, three—"
"What if I call someone else this time, huh? Someone who might actually pick up?" Kiba cuts him off. "What about Sakura? Iruka? Fuck, even Kakashi's more likely to pick up. Come on, man, literally anyone else."
"Five, three, nine…" Naruto continues.
"Whatever," Kiba scoffs, leaving Naruto to sober up.
Naruto lays down on the floor as Kiba leaves the room, curling up as the chill of the cement sinks into his warm cheek. Naruto shudders as his head spins, closing his eyes for a moment of reprieve from the bright overhead lights in the drunk tank. His knuckles are burning, everything feels distant and blurred. He tries to remember the last time he saw Sasuke, the last time he even heard his voice. Is it ridiculous to still defend him? Naruto feels tears sting the corners of his eyes. He definitely drank too much again. It doesn't matter. Even if Sasuke meant everything he said, Naruto would still die for him. Defend him, protect him, anything. He promised he always would. He can at least not fuck that up. How did things get this bad? How did he end up this alone, in spite of trying so hard? His worst fear was always being left behind, no one left. Every year it becomes a little more true. Naruto feels his lip begin to quiver, lump in his throat threatening to become something more uncontrollable. What is he even doing? Idiot.
/ / /
The raw January frost is penetrating and nearly unbearable, stinging Sasuke's face as he stands at the bottom of the stairs to his old home, staring up at the front door — wisps of faded yellow police tape still stuck to the wood in some places. Soft, fluffy snow drifts across his field of vision, nearly twinkling in the yellow street lights. Every house nearby is dark, similarly devoid of any human life. No warmth, no noise, only cold silence. Sasuke raises his cigarette to his lips once more, inhaling deeply before stabbing it out on the old bannister. He's sure his mom would be furious with him if she was here. If she could be here. Sasuke exhales, beginning his ascent up the familiar stairs. As he reaches into his pocket for his keys, he feels a shift beneath his shirt and raises his hand to his chest. Aoda is restless, and Sasuke can't blame him — it's far too cold for a snake to be out, but he has little else right now beyond his body heat. Sasuke focuses his energy into his hand, trying to provide warmth once again, channelling what he can through his torso. Aoda settles after a few moments, allowing Sasuke to return his attention to the door.
Sasuke slides his key into the lock, surprised for a moment when it turns with ease. No one ever bothered to change the locks. The door sticks as he steps inside, finding that it somehow feels colder. Nothing warm has been here for a very long time. Sasuke raises his hand again to ensure Aoda stays soothed, beginning his tour of the dark, dusty house — lit exclusively by soft streetlights and cold moonlight filtering through the tattered curtains. He pauses when he comes to his father's study, staring at the floorboards. Someone had tried to clean it, but the dark red staining the wood grain is still evident — spilled in great amounts. Sasuke steels himself, ascending the stairs to his left to reach the second floor.
It's eerily quiet, only the soft sound of his footsteps creaking against the unused hardwood. As he reaches the top of the stairs, he casts his gaze down the hall. He heard a rumour a few years ago that on very late nights, you can occasionally hear a woman screaming from the bedroom window for mercy. Sasuke knows it's not true; couldn't be true. His mother never screamed that night. No one did. He remembers standing right where is is now and seeing only her hand, stained with dark red and outstretched past the doorframe, as if she tried to crawl away. Sasuke always wondered if she was trying to crawl to him before she died, if he occupied any of her final thoughts. He'll never know.
Sasuke enters Itachi's room, standing still for a few moments as a chill rushes down his spine. It feels untouched somehow, even more-so than the rest of the house. Frozen in time. The curtains cast a cool blue light across every surface not drowned by the penetrating darkness. Sasuke had been asleep in Itachi's bed, waiting for his brother to return home from work. He woke Sasuke abruptly, told him to get under the bed — to not move until he saw daylight, no matter what. Sasuke had done as he was asked. He remembers falling asleep, in spite of the cold. He didn't know. Sasuke lowers himself to the floor, peeking underneath the bed. He wouldn't fit now, not quite, but it somehow feels like only yesterday.
Sasuke tilts his head, straining for a moment as he tries not to disturb Aoda. His task made much more difficult by the heavy cast on his left arm. His sharingan flickers in the darkness and he spots his prize, reaching underneath until his fingers find something soft. He sits back as he pulls it out from under the bed, brushing the dust from it. A small, green dinosaur plushie that he'd left behind that morning when he emerged — he had slept with his face buried against it almost every night, that night was no exception. He had been too afraid to come back for it, and he had no one to ask to retrieve it.
It's a little worse for wear, it will need to be washed carefully. He had half-expected it to be gone, taken by some thief. Most people seem too afraid to come near this house, and he doesn't blame them. It isn't often a family home plays host to such horrors. Not like this. Not in a town like this. Sasuke sighs as he stares at the dinosaur. It had seemed bigger when he was little. He holds it in his lap, looking around the room as Aoda slithers restlessly against his chest. Sasuke raises his hand again, warming Aoda as best he can. What is he even doing? Why is he here? Sasuke closes his eyes for a moment, letting the chill of the house sink into his bones.
"Do you feel that you are a danger to yourself or to others?"
Sasuke hasn't decided yet. The room remains unchanged as he opens his eyes, still and silent. He had secretly hoped for some kind of sign, a reason — as ridiculous as that might be to hope for. The dinosaur was still here, even after all this time. Still here. Not for any reason, just waiting. Sasuke had hoped for more than that, but maybe that's too much to ask. There's nothing left. Nowhere for him to go now. He's so tired. Maybe all that's left to do is wait and hope to be found, but who would find him here?
With a soft sigh, Sasuke reaches into his pocket again, locating his cigarettes. Before he removes his hand, his phone begins to buzz against his fingers. Sasuke hesitates, staring at the floor for a moment before he shifts his hand, grabbing his phone instead. The screen lights up the dark room, illuminating countless dust particles. Sasuke scans the number, staring down at the Caller ID for a few moments. Konoha Police.
It buzzes softly in his hand a few more times. They should know better than to call him by now. But he did ask for a sign. Something more. Could it possibly be something this annoying? With a frustrated sigh, Sasuke picks up just before it stops ringing, nothing to lose, holding the cold phone to his ear. "What is it?" he asks, shifting to hold the phone between his shoulder and cheek, hand returning to warming Aoda.
"Sasuke?" the voice asks.
"Who's asking?" Sasuke returns.
"Oh, sorry, I- I didn't expect you to answer. It's Kiba. Um, Officer Kiba Inuzuka, remember?"
Sasuke makes a face. Definitely not a sign, then. "Why are you calling me?"
"I… okay, look, it's just Naruto. He got blasted again and hit someone and me, so I need to discharge him to someone that can take responsibility for getting him home. I know you're not in town, he just won't ever give me anyone else's number and I'm supposed to… you don't care. Um. Look, just tell me to call Iruka or something so I can say you deferred your emergency contact." Kiba sighs, feeling slightly flustered.
Sasuke blinks, brow furrowing for a moment. Again? Moron. Sasuke sighs, thinking it through for a moment. He had considered it, but wasn't sure what the reception might be if he were to show up unannounced. They didn't part on entirely good terms, and Sasuke has been entirely avoidant for reasons that seem small now, or at least irrelevant. A desperate need to try and move on, knowing that he can't be here and Naruto can't leave. It was never about the demand for him to stay away, the implicit request to not be near Naruto — he didn't want to be here anyway, and here is the only place Naruto can be. Even so, if nothing else, he owes Naruto — at least a ride home. "I'm in town," Sasuke replies.
"Huh? You are? But you're not supposed to—"
"I'll be there in about half an hour," Sasuke hangs up, deciding he doesn't care what he's supposed to be doing or not doing according to Officer Inuzuka. Sasuke stuffs his phone back in his pocket, slowly rising to his feet. The floor creaks beneath his weight. Sasuke hesitates for a moment before he makes his way back to his car, dinosaur plush clutched between his cast and chest.
The air outside stings as it hits Sasuke's cheeks — cold in a different way, he realizes, than the dark house. Cold in the sort of way that makes you feel more alive rather than rotting. He climbs into the driver's seat, turning his car on to begin the process of thawing out. After sleeping in his car for a few days, he's thankful it still works in spite of how decrepit his car is otherwise. Sasuke soothes Aoda, placing his dinosaur plush in the back seat among all his other worldly possessions.
He sits for a few minutes, gripping his steering wheel as heat blasts across his fingers. Stupid. This is a mistake. He shouldn't have picked up. He shouldn't have said that. He could still just leave. But where would he go? Where is he going? Sasuke inhales sharply, letting his forehead fall against the wheel — the horn bleeps, sending a small wave of embarrassment through Sasuke's stomach as his face begins to burn.
He shouldn't be here. It's not just stupid, it's dangerous. If anyone recognizes him it could mean trouble. Trouble for Naruto, as well. He isn't supposed to be here again — but he isn't really supposed to be anywhere now; there's nowhere left where he might be welcome. Sasuke flexes his fingers against the steering wheel again, sighing. What is he supposed to do?
/ / /
"Up and at 'em, Uzumaki," Kiba bangs the metal bars of the cell, moving to unlock the door. Naruto lets out a guttural groan, slowly rising from the floor to sit, leaning back on his hands. His entire body feels cold and sore, though his knuckles have stopped burning now. The world is still vague and bleary, and the lights above are far too bright.
"S'morning…?" Naruto cocks an eyebrow, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He feels like shit.
"No, you're being released," Kiba sighs, deciding not to get into the details. "Hurry it up, man."
Naruto groans again as he hauls himself to his feet, head beginning to pound. Who would he be released to? Kakashi must finally be back in town, no one else would come. Iruka made that pretty clear the last time — though Naruto is fairly sure he might still come anyway. Naruto sighs heavily as he scribbles NU across the forms Kiba shoves in his face before escorting him to the front door.
"Go straight home," Kiba's voice is stern, pulling the door shut behind Naruto. Naruto turns to argue, but Kiba is already disappearing around a corner.
A heavy sigh escapes Naruto's lungs as the frigid air begins to creep along his skin, his breath fogging the glass of the police station's door. The breeze burns his cheeks as soft flakes drift down around him. Kind of a nice night, he thinks, spinning on his heel again as he begins to descend the stairs. Must have been Kakashi, didn't even wait for him to get out. Naruto stretches his arms above his head, groaning loudly when he hears a car door open. He pauses, half recognizing the black car parked out front — old, scratched in a few familiar spots. Naruto tilts his head as the driver's face appears over the top of the car, a recognizable shape, Naruto would know that shitty haircut anywhere.
"Hurry up. It's cold," Sasuke calls, scowling at him.
"Sasuke…!?" Naruto furrows his brow. "What- what are y- shit," Naruto slips on the ice, nearly crashing to the ground as he rushes towards the car.
Sasuke is quiet for a moment, assessing Naruto. Not angry to see him, but surprised. Face flush, ears bright red — idiot is still drunk. Sasuke huffs, "You better not puke in my car." He ducks back in, slamming the driver's side shut before the bitter air makes him begin to tremble. Naruto leans against the side of the car for a moment as he gathers himself, heart pounding. Sasuke?
Naruto climbs into the passenger's seat, unsure if his hands are shaking from the cold or something else. Sasuke tilts his head at him, one hand on the steering wheel as their eyes meet. Sasuke's hair is a bit longer — cut in choppy, clearly self-created layers that make him look a bit fluffier than before; his brown eyes a bit more tired in spite of the very familiar dark reddish-brown eyeliner, though smudged — it's really him. "Hey…" Naruto smiles at him, unsure what else to say. He would recognize him anywhere.
"Hey," Sasuke returns, glancing over Naruto.
Naruto's smile widens, "Can't believe you're still driving this thing. It was a beater even when it was Itachi's."
Sasuke's expression shifts to a scowl as he decidedly ignores the comment, pulling out of the parking lot. Naruto shifts in his seat, trying to get a better look at Sasuke as he drives. Part of him thought Sasuke might actually be dead, or at least, that Naruto really would never see him again. It feels like a ghost is driving him home. Is it possible this isn't real? Naruto notices Sasuke's left arm is in a blue cast, tucked against his chest with a sling supporting it. Naruto's brow furrows. Someone landed a hit on Sasuke? Naruto begins to form the question in his mind when he notices something shift underneath Sasuke's hoodie, making Naruto jump.
"Fuck, what is that?" Naruto asks.
Sasuke glances, registering why Naruto asked. "Aoda, my snake."
"Snake!?" Naruto shoves himself back towards the car door.
"Don't be a baby, he won't hurt you. Unless I tell him to," Sasuke lies, trying not to smirk and give it away. Naruto is drunk enough that he might believe it and behave for once.
"Why's he out?!" Naruto asks, checking the back seat to see if there's some sort of container or if Sasuke just wears loose snakes around town now. Naruto softens as he spots the tank, along with several bags. What does any of this mean?
"It's cold," Sasuke replies, shrugging. "He can't be alone."
Naruto looks back to Sasuke, feeling his heart pounding again for some reason. "Aren't… you s'pose to be in school…?" Naruto asks. "Sakura's classes started like, two weeks ago."
Sasuke tenses, keeping his eyes on the road. Silence settles in the car for a few moments before he clears his throat to reply, "Weren't you supposed to stop giving my number as your emergency contact?"
Naruto takes a deep breath, deciding to let it go with a small laugh. Whatever is going on can wait until the world stops spinning. Naruto leans against the passenger side window, chilled glass against his warm face. Maybe he's still asleep in the drunk tank. This feels like a dream he might have. It's too strange to be true. Naruto closes his eyes for a moment, head throbbing, deciding he'll enjoy the dream while it lasts.
Sasuke drives quietly, glancing at Naruto out of the corner of his eye as he navigates the empty, familiar roads. Sasuke's grip on the wheel tightens, feeling himself shaking again. He should just drop him off and leave, there's no reason to stay. Not really. But is there a reason to go? At least he knows now, for sure, that Naruto doesn't remember — or maybe he doesn't care, didn't mean anything by it. Either way, it doesn't feel less terrifying to be here again.
The snow crunches under Sasuke's tires as he pulls into Naruto's apartment block, pausing for a moment. Naruto doesn't move, half asleep. Sasuke sighs as he climbs out, looking at the visible apartments — no lights on, not at this hour. He opens the door carefully, placing his hand on Naruto's shoulder to keep him from crashing into the snowy asphalt. "Come on, loser," Sasuke sighs, helping Naruto up very carefully — made much more difficult by his cast and Aoda's grip around his chest. Naruto groans as he leans on Sasuke, shivering in the cold.
Sasuke kicks his car door closed, making his way up the stairs to Naruto's familiar shoebox of an apartment. "Where are your keys?" Sasuke asks, shifting Naruto's weight.
"Pocket," Naruto helpfully informs him.
Sasuke glares, shoving him against the door to quickly check his jacket pockets. Nothing. Asshole. Sasuke grumbles as he checks the front pockets of Naruto's jeans.
"Oh, wow," Naruto smirks back at him.
"Don't make me hurt you," Sasuke growls, fishing out the keys as quickly as possible. He unlocks the door, letting Naruto nearly crash to the floor as it opens. Sasuke shoves him inside, needing to be out of the cold as quickly as possible. The apartment hasn't changed much since the last time he was here. Same obnoxiously small bachelor's room with a futon in the middle of the room and a small couch shoved against the wall opposite his ancient television. Reluctantly, Sasuke helps Naruto over to the futon and sits him down.
Naruto looks up at him, eyes tired and soft. Sasuke feels a familiar pang in his chest as he observes him for a moment, squatting next to the futon to make sure he doesn't do anything too hastily. "Are… you real…?" Naruto asks, voice soft as he reaches up towards Sasuke's face.
Sasuke stands before he touches him, feeling his ears begin to burn. "Don't worry about it," Sasuke decides, shifting to step away.
Naruto seizes his wrist, pulling him back. Sasuke freezes, panic gripping his heart for a moment as he turns back. He feels sick, hand trembling violently just out of Naruto's grip. Naruto's hand is so hot against Sasuke's wrist, burning his frozen skin. Naruto's brow knits as he looks up at Sasuke. "Will you be here when I wake up…?"
Sasuke has to think for a moment, heart pounding loudly enough that he worries Naruto might hear it. He hates how scared he feels, weak and vulnerable. He recognizes the same anxiety in Naruto's eyes, asking him to stay — he thinks, at least. It resembles the way Naruto used to look at him when he wanted Sasuke to sleep over. That was a long time ago, though. "I…" Sasuke swallows back the emotion, whatever it is, "If I'm real… then yes." He decides.
"Okay…" Naruto's hand slips from his wrist.
Sasuke quickly retreats to the obnoxiously small kitchen, busying himself by getting a glass of water for Naruto, who is kicking off his large black combat boots unceremoniously. Sasuke frowns, wondering how dirty his floors must be as he moves back over and squats again, handing him the glass once he's managed to wiggle down to his boxers and t-shirt. Naruto takes the glass, looking between it and Sasuke a few times before he takes a sip.
"Good, finish that then go to sleep," Sasuke replies, remaining squatted next to Naruto to ensure he does as he's told.
"Why're you takin' care of me…?" Naruto asks with a soft smile, searching Sasuke, still discerning how much of this could be a dream. It definitely feels more like a dream now. Sasuke looks so pretty crouched next to him, so small.
Sasuke looks away, "I don't know… just get some sleep." He stands again, moving back towards the front door. He hears Naruto shuffle, getting more comfortable. He'll be asleep in a matter of moments. Sasuke exits, closing the door quietly before he moves to the railing, leaning over it as his stomach churns. He reaches for his cigarettes, pulling one from his pocket and lighting it with a small flourish of his fingers. Stupid. Stupid.
Sasuke takes a long drag, leaning heavily against the railing. He has to decide if he's real or not, if he wants to be real. Maybe he doesn't have a choice. There's nowhere else. Nothing left to hold onto. Just try for one more day, he keeps telling himself. Sasuke makes his way down to the car, first taking Aoda's tank back up the stairs — he'll need to fix it tomorrow, but for now just warmth and a container is enough. Sasuke sets it down on the floor near the TV, glancing at Naruto a few times as he does. No movement, out cold. Sasuke removes Aoda from his hoodie and carefully places him in the tank, locking the lid once again — it feels oddly lonely to not have him against Sasuke's skin anymore.
It only takes two more trips to retrieve his bags from the car, piling them in the corner near where Naruto keeps his own clothing. Hopefully he won't mind. He didn't seem upset. Sasuke can leave if he is, it wouldn't be a big deal. Not really. Nothing would change, Sasuke would still have nowhere to go. He would still be alone.
Sasuke sets his dinosaur plushie down on top of the TV, for lack of a better place to put it. At least it's better than being trapped there, hiding and waiting for the sun to finally creep in.
/ / /
Bright, early morning light penetrates the room through the balcony window, pulling Naruto from his otherwise sound slumber. The world is spinning, everything aches, and his body feels so cold. Naruto rubs his face against his pillow in an attempt to wake up, groaning inwardly as his skull throbs painfully. He must have been hit pretty hard in the head last night. What happened last night anyway? The fight, Kiba, cold floor… then…? Naruto's eyes snap open as he remembers. Sasuke. He had a dream about Sasuke. Naruto throws himself off the side of the futon, finding his jacket on the floor to check his phone. Did Sasuke call? Is that why he had that dream?
No missed calls. No texts. Nothing. Naruto frowns at his phone, dropping it back onto his jacket. Whatever. Naruto drags himself upright, slinking around the corner to the tiny kitchen to make coffee. Maybe that will make him feel semi-human. As Naruto pulls his mug out, he sees something move out of the corner of his eye — someone is sleeping in his futon. Naruto freezes. Did he bring someone home? A girl? Naruto's heart begins to race, drumming loudly in his ears. What did he do? Did they have sex? No, his clothes are still on. Who is she?
Naruto drops down to the floor, crawling back around the corner to peek at her. Raven hair tossed across the pillow, eyes softly closed, not much else visible as her face is hidden by the blanket. Naruto crawls forward to investigate further, not wanting to wake her as he tilts his head. Long eyelashes, silver ear piercings, smudged eyeliner — Sasuke? Naruto's entire body feels hot suddenly. Sasuke is home? He's in Konoha, in Naruto's apartment, in his futon. Sasuke slept next to him. Holy shit. Naruto goes completely still, staring now with new recognition. Not a dream.
Still a pretty boy, clearly — Naruto was so sure it was a girl. He hasn't changed very much. He still looks so soft, much cuter when he isn't awake and scowling at everything. Last night really happened then — was real. Sasuke helped him home, got him into bed. Softie. Even after everything. Naruto smiles to himself, heart starting to pound harder as butterflies fill his stomach. Real, here, in his bed. A hot, sick feeling rises in his chest. Naruto really believed he would never see him again, that he would never come back here again.
It's not just a feeling, Naruto realizes. He pushes himself away abruptly, scrambling to the washroom. His knees slam against the cold, hard tile as he leans over the toilet. Definitely drank too much last night. Or something. Naruto doesn't move for a few minutes, head pounding and throat burning. Coffee. Coffee will help. Maybe some really greasy food. Naruto stumbles back out, leaning on the door frame as he looks at the futon and finds two dark eyes staring back at him.
Sasuke tenses as Naruto's eyes meet his own, now much more sober; the faded edge of alcohol is definitely gone. Sasuke finds it hard to make eye contact, heart beating rapidly against his ribs. Is Naruto upset? Angry? Annoyed? Sasuke hates how scared he feels, how small and useless. Vulnerable. Naruto moves first, heading to the kitchen without a single word. He continues making a cup of coffee.
Sasuke sits up slowly, remaining as still as possible on the futon — scared to move as the heaviness of his decision to try being real sinks into his chest. What is he doing here? This was a mistake. All of this. Sasuke grips the blanket in his free fist tightly, trying to come up with the right thing to say. Maybe he should say nothing. He should just leave. That would be best for everyone. Sasuke feels so cold, in spite of the blanket still wrapped across one shoulder. Ice inside his veins, making him shudder and freeze up. He should go. Quickly. But to where? Tears begin to well in his eyes. It was unreasonable of him to hope this would be acceptable. There's nowhere left.
"Hey," Naruto appears next to him, making Sasuke jump a bit as he's jolted from his spiralling thoughts. Naruto holds out a mug of coffee to him, waiting. Sasuke glances between Naruto and the coffee, slowly taking it from him — the hot ceramic of the mug burns his palm as he holds it tightly. Naruto stands again, moving back to the kitchen.
Something about Sasuke seems so small to Naruto; he isn't sure what could have brought him back to Konoha, especially back to him. He's so soft still, quiet and caught up in his own thoughts. Maybe shy is the right word. He's always been shy, unsure of himself. Naruto was the loud one, always embarrassing Sasuke. They needed each other then, too. Naruto wishes he could read his mind now, maybe he would know the right thing to tell him. For once. The entire situation feels unreal.
"Y'know," Naruto begins, deciding one of them needs to and it won't be Sasuke. "I thought you picking me up was a dream. Couldn't really remember how I even got home."
"You shouldn't be getting that wasted." Sasuke retorts, flushing as he realizes how sharp that sounded. It just came out.
Naruto scoffs, "Right, duly noted. Thanks, guardian angel, for finally picking up the fuckin' phone." That was too bitter, defensive, Naruto realizes, tightening his lips.
Sasuke frowns, closing his eyes for a moment. Stupid. Sasuke takes a sip of the coffee, hoping to calm his nerves. Acidic poison hits his tongue, he immediately spits it back into the mug. "Ugh, what the fuck," Sasuke grimaces, holding the coffee away from himself as if it might attempt a second attack.
"What? You don't like it black with sugar anymore?" Naruto asks.
"I like coffee," Sasuke's lip curls as he puts the mug aside, away from himself. "Not whatever that battery acid is."
Naruto laughs softly, surprising Sasuke. "Sorry, not a barista, man. Forgot how bougie you are." Sasuke pulls himself up, moving to sit at the small island counter that separates the tiny kitchen from the rest of the apartment. Sasuke watches in horror as Naruto pours a spoonful of instant coffee into a mug and then fills it with semi-hot tap water, giving it a quick swirl before he adds a splash of milk and begins drinking. Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if the milk was expired, too. What the fuck is he doing here?
"I forgot how disgusting you are," Sasuke replies, frowning as he leans on the counter.
Naruto shrugs the insult off, taking another sip. "So, why the fuck are you here, then?" he asks, returning Sasuke's energy with a slight softness. Sasuke meets his eyes for a moment, looking away quickly — Naruto catches it, the slight falter. Sasuke doesn't reply right away, staring down at the counter. Naruto leans back against the sink, studying Sasuke in the morning light. He really hasn't changed much. His hair is a bit fluffier with this haircut, layered and framing his dark eyes so well. All black clothing, a bit loose on his pale frame. He somehow seems smaller than Naruto remembered. Dark circles still under his eyes, disguised slightly by the smear of eyeliner — Naruto remembers Itachi having a similar proclivity to developing such deep lines. Sasuke's are softer, less etched into his smooth skin. Naruto clears his throat, averting his gaze before Sasuke notices him staring. "I mean… did you suddenly miss me, or something?"
Sasuke's jaw tightens for a moment. "I guess… something like that…"
Naruto blinks, stomach turning again. Naruto continues to pointedly avoid looking at Sasuke, suddenly conscious of how uncomfortable he seems to be. It must be something serious, if he's here. Especially like this, in such a state. Naruto changes his approach, taking a slow breath. His head is still pounding, but that isn't Sasuke's fault — even if he is historically bitchy and hostile, especially in the morning. He seems scared. Naruto purses his lips as he ventures another look at Sasuke. He hasn't moved. There are bags stacked in the corner — Sasuke's belongings, he suspects. Someone needs to protect him, Naruto realizes. Sasuke is asking without asking.
"Sasuke…?" Naruto steps back to the island counter, wanting his attention. Sasuke looks back and Naruto notices how tense he is, fist curled tightly against the counter, knuckles white. "You can stay here if you want, as long as you need. Like always." Naruto's tone is soft, kinder than Sasuke expects.
Sasuke shifts, uncomfortable. "Thanks…"
Naruto nods, smiling. "'Course, and I promise no more questions, or… you don't need to tell me, but like… don't they get pretty mad at you if you miss enough classes in university? I haven't seen Sakura in ages because she says she can't miss anything, y'know. Your school's kinda fancy like that too, isn't it?"
Sasuke stares at the counter, deciding that he owes Naruto a modicum of honesty if he's allowing him to stay. "No," he shakes his head, "They don't tend to care after you drop out."
Naruto's brow furrows. He resists his urge to make any sort of surprised exclamation. "Yeah, I guess not…" he nods, "Well, like I said… you can stay here… as long as you need, okay?"
Sasuke nods, shifting in the chair to pull his knee to his chest, looking away from Naruto still as his heart continues to race, a lump quickly forming in his throat. He remembers now, why he came here. A promise to keep. This is the only place he can be. Naruto is the only person that would take Sasuke as he is now.