Work Text:
Ever since they started dating, Evan was not exempt from the weird coping mechanisms that Connor had. Whenever Connor felt too many thoughts crowd his head, he started a new hyper fixation. Evan was fine with it, as long as it didn’t harm Connor in any way. Plus, it was fun to see whatever Connor newly discovered.
“Connor, if you’re sleepy, just sleep.” Evan stares blankly at his phone in the dark. Connor had called, under the guise that there was something he desperately needed to show Evan, and he couldn’t sleep because of it.
“Butttt i’m busy.” Connor whines back, seemingly moving in the background.
“With what? At 3am? Also, are you high again?” Evan sighs, already imagining the loopy answer that Connor would give.
“Nooooo…okay maybe a bit. I’m making something.” Connor replies, slightly giggling.
“Show me? But afterwards, please go to sleep. It’s late and we have school later.” Evan gives a fond sigh this time.
The audio call turns to video, and Evan’s greeted with a tired but pleased Connor. The camera then turns to a…plush?
Evan could clearly see it was a stuffed toy. But what exactly it was, he wasn’t sure.
Sensing his long silence, Connor pans the camera back to him, bearing a frown.
“…Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute. But what exactly is it?”
“…It’s a cat.”
“Oh.”
Connor purses his lips.
“I knew it. Agh, I’m sweating.” Connor mumbles under his breath.
“What do you know? And isn’t it -2 degrees outside now? Connor, is there something you’re not telling me?” , Evan questions.
“Nothing at all, nothing at all to worry about, dear.”
Okay, that was weird, Connor never used pet names.
“You know what, I give up. It’s too hard reaching you over a phone call. I’m coming over. It’s not like you’ll be asleep anyway.”
“Yay! Evan’s coming!” Connor cheers quietly to no one in particular.
“Alright, now just stay put. Don’t take anymore pot.”
“Okay…” And the line clicks shut.
Evan drags himself out of his cozy bed, changing clothes and pulling on the thickest jacket he can find in the dark (coincidentally Connor’s), and stepping out into the cold. He curses the wind that blows straight towards him, slowly making his way to Connor’s house with the help of flickering streetlights.
He doesn’t bother to knock, stepping inside the already unlocked door, courtesy of Connor. He would not have liked to wake the whole Murphy household up. And even if he did, he would have had spent 2 hours fretting outside in the cold about it.
Connor lay lifeless on the couch, eyes closed, the ‘cat’ plush in his hands. Seemingly unaware of Evan’s arrival, Evan crept quietly around him, hugging him from behind, pressing a kiss in his hair.
Pale hands held onto his lanky arms. Connor tilted his head back, bringing his lips to press against Evan’s. Tugging Evan lightly to join him, Evan softly broke the kiss, hanging his jacket on a nearby chair, before joining him on the couch.
“Soo…what’s up? Why’d you come?” “What’s wrong?”
“Huh?” They both answered unanimously.
“Nothing’s wrong, what’s different is you coming here in the middle of the night.” Connor quirked.
“Don’t try to fool me, something’s wrong.” Evan replies, moving to press a hand against Connor’s forehead.
It’s warm, not like burning hot, but warm enough to warrant worry.
“Okay…let me get a thermometer.”
“No!” Connor looks strangely panicked, grabbing Evan by his wrist.
“Connor, I’m just going to grab the thermometer to check your temperature. I’ll be back, I promise.”
“Was the cat plush ugly? You hate me, don’t you?” Connor pouts, his eyes glossing over.
“What-no! Of course not! The cat plush really is adorable and it has its own charm and personality! And I could never hate you, where did that come from?” Evan sits back down next to Connor, intertwining their fingers.
“I don’t believe you…” Connor sulks, slouching into the couch.
Evan grimaces slightly, but quickly shifts his facial expression to a softer one. It wasn’t easy to bring Connor out of his depressive moods, but no matter how many times it happened, it still hurt his heart all the same.
“Tell you what,” Evan starts, cradling Connor’s face with one hand, “how about we just stay here and cuddle? You don’t have a particularly high fever, just a tad warm, so we can just stay here. How does that sound?”
“Mhm.” Connor replies in agreement, nuzzling into Evan’s hand.
They sit on the couch, basking in each other’s company in comfortable silence.
Until a sniff.
Then a small whimper.
“Connor? What’s wrong?” Evan pulls Connor onto his lap, feeling a sense of panic and alarm rise in him.
Refusing to look up, Connor merely stared down at Evan’s sweater, gripping it tightly.
“I don’t know…it’s just…” Connor trails off, frantically rubbing at his eyes, while Evan waits patiently.
“It’s just…moments like these make me think whether I truly deserve you, ‘cause you’re so kind, understanding and gentle…” Connor sighs in defeat.
“Connor.”
“Like how could you, a perfectly kind soul, love me, a morally grey druggie?”
“Connor.”
“I don’t deserve you-“
“Connor!” Evan shouts, which is rare, causing Connor to look up at him with a mixture of shock and self-deprecation.
“Now, listen to me. I’m seriously freaking out right now, but hear me out. You deserve me and more. Some times, I wonder why you would choose me, this brave, kind gentleman who’s just a bit misunderstood and has interesting coping mechanisms, but nothing, and I say nothing, has made me consider that you are undeserving of my love. Hell, I thought it was obvious how much I loved you, but apparently not.”
Evan pauses to take a breath while Connor feels a lump in his throat, despite words and thoughts rushing to his mouth.
“We’re both not saints, and yet, why do I feel so attracted to you? The long answer is that despite all your morals and what not, I am still irrecoverably attracted to you from your looks, the way you have your own style, your mannerisms in the way you’re always confident in your decisions and choices, your quirks and interests, even your flaws like how you don’t take quite good care of yourself, which is where I come in. The short answer, is that I love you and you deserve the world, if I may add.”
“So, don’t you dare to badmouth my boyfriend.”
At this point, Connor was already silently crying, staring down at his lap. Evan pulls him into his embrace, whispering sweet nothings and rubbing soothing circles on his back.
“It’s alright, just cry, I got you.” Evan laughed softly, brushing away Connor’s bangs, kissing his tear tracks.
“…this is so embarrassing…” Connor mumbled, regardless still pushing his face into the crook of Evan’s neck.
“Nah, I’m glad you got the release you needed. If at any point in time, you feel like this again, feel free to, I’m your boyfriend after all…” Evan blushed, verbalising his thoughts, pressing a kiss to Connor’s forehead.
“You’re so gosh damn cheesy, you know that?” Connor laughed in return, tilting his head up slightly and returning the kiss on the lips.
“I have the best teacher, after all!” Evan smiled through the kiss, pulling Connor towards him impossibly closer, “So tell me what inspired you to start crocheting? And why a cat?”
But all didn’t matter in the scheme of things, no matter how weird Connor’s coping mechanism was, Evan would still be his best support system.