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The crew of the Starblaster had been around each other for an incredibly long time now, to the point where any changes in behavior were noticed quickly. It was unfortunate for anyone who wanted to hide anything.
That was, as far as Lup could tell, the case for Merle right now. And she was pretty good at reading people. This struck her as rather unusual. Merle was generally open about everything. The man seemed to radiate honesty, sometimes to their great dismay.
He had been a little more reserved since he had started having his meetings with The Hunger (or John, whatever it was called). That made sense, Lup supposed. But it was still concerning. Their journey had been unimaginably difficult, and she didn't want one of her dear friends to start finally snapping.
It was evening currently, late in the year on a fairly boring world. Merle was on the deck of the Starblaster, staring at the sky. Lup approached him cautiously. He didn't even seem to notice her until she was a couple of feet away from him. He looked up at her, his contemplative expression transforming into a grin.
"Lup! What are ya doing, sneaking up on me like that."
She placed a hand on her hip, "Uh, you're the one all zoinked out, old man."
He snorted a little, "You wish, sister."
He half started staring up at the sky again, his grin fading a bit. Lup leaned against the railing beside him.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
His eyes drifted further upwards, "Just thinking," He shrugged, "Wondering what it feels like to be part of a big plane-eating abomination, I guess."
Lup's expression softened. This is what she'd been worried about.
"I know Barry's pushy about it, but you don't have to keep doing this parlay thing if you don't want to."
To her surprise, Merle jumped up.
"Huh, you think I-," His hands waved in front of his face, "No, I like doing the parlay. I like talking to John."
Merle's face was going pink in a way it normally only did around flora. Lup stared at him, her mouth slightly open as she came to a perplexing, horrifiying realization.
"You have a crush," She said, "on The Hunger."
"Ok, first of all, I'm an adult. I don't get crushes," Lup scoffed, Merle continued on, "And secondly, John isn't The Hunger! He's just one guy. I don't have the hots for weird shadow creatures!"
Lup leaned down to him, "I wouldn't put it past you."
Merle gave her an offended look and scoffed. Lup pressed him, "What do you even see in the guy?"
It was a bit of a unnecessary question. Merle was a hopeless (and horny) romantic. But she felt she ought to ask it anyway. The older man sighed and rested his head on his hands. It put Lup in mind of a schoolgirl with a crush.
"He's just so refined. And he's got nice shoes."
Lup rolled her eyes so far back you could only see her whites. Then she flicked Merle's nose.
"That's it?"
"That's all I need," Merle glared at her, "And anyways, if I asked why you liked Barry, you would probably just say, 'oh his jeans, they're so nice', so don't get all judgy on me."
Lup's face went red, and it was impossible to stop her voice from going a bit high, "I-I don't like-"
Merle gave her a look. Hell, what was she thinking. She couldn't lie to Merle of all people.
"Fine, whatever."
They returned to where the others were still working out the rules of some over-complicated board game a minute later. Lup chose not to tell them what she had learned, mostly because it would be way funnier for them to realize it on their own. Mostly, she thought to herself, when she was watching Barry, and saw Merle giving her a sly look.
A couple of days later, and Merle was ready to parlay. This whole affair of him dying so often had become a regular occurrence, but that didn't make it any less distressing for the rest of the crew. They had convinced him to wait till the end of the year most times, at least.
This time, however, there was something much different causing them distress. Lup was desperately trying not to laugh as Barry and Davenport argued with the dwarf, their eyes fixed on anything but him.
"Merle, as your captain, I demand you put pants on when you speak to our mortal enemy," Davenport snapped, staring at the ceiling, "Or, hell, even just underwear!"
"C'mon, captain," Merle's voice was a bit more sultry than usual. Lup had to bite one of her fingers, "It's just a new strategy I'm trying out. Next time I'll wear whatever you want."
Lup had to leave after that, heading to the deck of the ship as quickly as possible so no one could hear her lose it. Several minutes later, she returned to see that Merle had gone. The captain and Barry were sitting by, looking defeated. The rest of the crew had joined them, too. They all had various looks of shock and horror on their face.
"Couldn't talk him down, huh." She tried to keep the amusement out of her voice. Lup was pretty sure she was the only one who knew this was well beyond Merle's usual weirdness. More like an insane flirting technique.
But, well, it wasn't her problem.
John, The Hunger, was in one second, a beautiful being, massive beyond comprehension, unable to think his own thoughts. In the next, he was a plain looking middle-aged man sitting in a conference room. In front of him was Merle, smiling. He smiled back.
The chess board appeared in front of them. Black on his side, white on Merle's. Letting him go first seemed like a small gesture to try and make up for the fact that he had killed the other man a good few times now.
"Go ahead, Merle."
The other man gave him a smile. It was much more…something than Merle's smile usually was. Sleazy. That was the right word.
John tried to smile back. It probably looked cold, but that was how he preferred it.
He was also getting the strange sense that he was missing something, but he could not place what. Merle had made his first move, and he followed. The dwarf was giving him an odd look. In a rather strange display, he bit his lip coquettishly.
"Is something on your mind, Merle."
"Me?" Merle gave a gruff laugh, "Nah, I'm just having a good time, playing chess."
John gave him another cold smile. His eyes traced over the figure of his enemy and acquaintance, trying to read him. His head, his bare chest (did he never wear shirts? Maybe he had a medical condition?), and the waistband of his-
"Merle?"
"Yes, John?"
"Why aren't you wearing anything?"
Slowly, his eyes began to drift from Merle to the chessboard, where they remained fixed. It may be some sort of bizarre religious thing. John didn't know too much about that sort of thing. His natural pessimism made him rather averse to religion.
"Oh, I was just," John felt Merle's eyes fix directly on him. He kept his on the chessboard, "Trying out a new style."
They continued the game. John was trying to not look flustered. The fact that the only person he had talked to in centuries had decided to show up nude was not helping. It was several minutes later when Merle yawned, stretching back in his seat.
"You don't mind if I do some light yoga, do you?"
John's cold exterior finally began to crack, "Oh-Merle, please-"
The dwarf got up out of his seat before he could finish. John covered his eyes, and could feel blush creeping up his face. It briefly occurred to him that he had the ultimate off button in this scenario, but he didn't want to resort to that quite yet. On the ground, Merle was moving into a downward dog.
"So, like what you see?" He sounded so sure of himself.
"I'm not looking."
"I think we should move to questions, I'll go first."
"Alright." John hated sounding so unsure.
"How do you feel about plants?"
He said it so sensually. John decided that was enough. He summoned black fire to his hand, and killed Merle.
They were all back in the Starblaster, including Merle. Thankfully, he was clothed. Lup felt like she might lose it again.
After Merle had gone, the rest of the crew had approached her. Apparently running away hadn't kept them from hearing her laughing. She had spilled as soon as Davenport asked. Honestly, the whole thing was just too funny not to.
All of them turned to the cleric. Davenport was the first to speak.
"Merle?"
"Yes, captain?" He was feigning innocence.
"Please do not try to seduce The Hunger again."
"Don't know what you mean by that, captain."
Lup shoved her fist into her mouth. Her stomach was starting to hurt.
Merle left to talk to John again at the end of that year. To everyone's relief, he decided to give up his previous strategy.