Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Bizarre Love Triangle"
New Order

“It’s just so nice to see George and Marina together again,” Portia Featherington coos from her position standing next to Colin. 

Colin can’t help but cringe, watching the beautiful couple share soft smiles and blushing cheeks on the dance floor. 

It’s Eloise and Phillip’s wedding yet the entire venue seems to have their eyes glued to the charming pair, the secondary school sweethearts who captured the hearts of everyone around them like they’re some sort of pre-destined love story. Marina’s dark eyes are glittering up at George, the fairy lights that line the venue’s ceiling shining in her eyes. George has the same soft smile he always wears around Marina. They just look perfect together. 

There’s just one problem. 

Marina is engaged to Colin. 

“It’s certainly nice they were able to get their friendship back now that Marina and Phillip will be in-laws,” Colin comments airily, fixing his eyes on Marina’s left hand. 

She’s still wearing his ring. They’re still getting married.  The light seems to catch in the five carat oval solitaire. It was the ring Marina had proclaimed she always wanted and Colin was only too happy to give it to her. Colin would always give Marina everything George wouldn't.

Yes, it’s clear to Colin and everyone around them that George still has feelings for Marina but it’s unrequited. Marina promised Colin it is unrequited, murmuring that she just feels bad that George is unable to move past his first love. 

It’s pathetic. Colin moved on from Tessa easily. Anthony moved on from Siena. Daphne moved on from Frederick. 

“Penelope!” Portia called out, waving her daughter over. 

Colin throws back the last of his drink. 

And Penelope moved on from him. 

Colin catches Penelope’s eye and ignores the way she blanches when she sees him. He doesn’t blame her necessarily but it’s nice to see her anyway.  The grey-blue colour of her bridesmaid dress matches George’s tie perfectly, skimming along her curves. The hazy blue brings out the colour of her eyes and makes the copper in her hair almost seem to glitter. Her wavy red tresses are tied neatly over her shoulder with blue flowers laced through. 

She looks stunning, as she always does. Still after all these years, Colin longs to tug on her soft curls to make her smile. Unfortunately for him, he lost those privileges a long time ago. 

“Hello, mama, Colin,” Penelope says, offering Colin a tight smile.  Colin tries to force a smile back, ignoring the coldness that still hurts. 

Colin’s eyes drift back to the dance floor, watching as Marina throws her head back and laughs at something George is whispering in her ear. 

There’s a lot of things that hurt Colin. 

It’s a constant battle for Colin, the balance between his sometimes overwhelming sensitivity and what he should find hurtful. Everyone would find the end of a friendship painful, but should it still hurt after four years? 

He’s certain most people would be jealous of a partner’s ex, but is it normal to carry the crushing insecurity for years? To stand by as another man whispers in his fiancée's ear, tells everyone that he still loves her, makes no secret that he would take her back in a heartbeat?

Colin thinks Anthony would have punched George at the first whiff of a threat. Benedict would have laughed it off. Gregory would smirk before prancing about with Lucy on his arm.

Colin just seethes, his self-confidence waning with each muttered comment from a stranger at how beautiful George and Marina are together. 

“Marina and I were talking about your wedding recently, Colin,” Portia begins, swirling the dregs of her wine in her wine glass. “I was wondering if you had a date for Penelope? You had quite a large group of friends, as I recall.”

“Mama!” Penelope gasps, clearly mortified by the question. “I don’t need a date!”

“You can’t go stag to two weddings in a row, darling, what would people say?” Portia says, patting Penelope on the arm condescendingly. “You haven’t had a boyfriend since Lord Debling,” Portia points out, emphasizing his title. “I’m not sure how you couldn’t figure out a way to lock that man down.”

“He moved to Antarctica for work, mama,” Penelope replies with a bored tone. Colin can tell this topic has been hashed between the pair many times before. “It’s not like there’s much publishing down there.”

“Are you telling me that’s not where Penguin is based out of?” Colin jokes, earning a guffaw from Penelope, who immediately slams a hand over her mouth. 

She looks quite put out that Colin made her laugh but nevertheless, Colin can’t help but preen. 

He’s missed her laugh so much over the last few years. He loves making her laugh. 

“How an Earl is able to spend years researching birds in Antarctica is beyond me,” Portia grumbles. “No doubt using our tax dollars. Ah, no offense to your brother, Colin, dear.”

Colin merely shrugs. Truth be told, he wouldn’t be too put out even if Portia told Colin she was planning to overthrow the monarchy in order to get his brother stripped of his title. Maybe it would move Anthony down a peg. 

Colin’s attention snaps back to the dance floor as he hears Marina laugh again. The song has changed, now a much faster beat yet Marina is still hanging off George’s neck as if they were slow dancing. George’s hand is gripping Marina’s waist tightly. He had shed his suit jacket at some point after the cake cutting and rolled up the sleeves of his button down, showing off his ridiculously large forearms. George’s fingers skirted a little too close for comfort around the edges of Marina’s low backed pink dress, almost touching the exposed skin there. 

He swallows, the jealousy he constantly feels around George clawing at his chest. 

“What about George?” He blurts out, turning to Penelope.  “Your dance together was so cute.”

And it was objectively cute. Even with Colin’s complex feelings towards George, he could admit that it was adorable. George was taller than Colin, broad and imposing. Penelope, even in her four inch heels, didn't come close to his shoulders.  When Penelope and George joined the married couple on the dance floor, George hoisted Penelope up against him, her feet dangling as he carried her around the dance floor in something that could almost be seen as a dance. 

The pair had laughed loudly, beaming at each other, giving Colin temporary hope that maybe George was finally moving on with his life. 

Hope that has since been dashed. 

“George?” Penelope questions with a cocked eyebrow. Her eyes flit to Marina and George briefly before meeting her mother’s. They seem to communicate in silence for a beat before Penelope looks back at Colin. “I think we’re better as just friends,” she says, her fingers twitching against the stem of her wine glass. 

“Yes, I don’t think Penelope and George would be a good match,” Portia agrees before taking a quick sip of her wine. 

Colin can feel himself deflate, embarrassment washing over him. 

Everyone can see it, Colin knows that. He’s not stupid. Even Portia, desperate for all her girls to marry, doesn’t want to shackle Penelope to the handsome baronet, who is so clearly in love with someone else. 

George and Marina had dated for nine long years, starting at eighteen until they were both twenty-seven. They had a tremulous relationship, George often shutting down and Marina so desperate to draw him out. He disappointed her at every turn, forgetting anniversaries, birthdays and slacking on chores, all leading to the disappointment that ended them. 

That’s when Colin came in, ready to be the steady and reliable partner Marina said she wanted. 

Yet still, everyone around them was still obsessed with the idea that Marina and George are somehow meant to be, even with Colin’s ring on her finger. 

“Excuse me,” he mutters before leaving the two Featherington women to walk up to the bar. 

Maybe he is a little stupid. 

Colin wonders if this is what getting cucked feels like. He makes a mental note to ask Benedict later. 

If it is, he doesn’t think he likes it very much. 

Colin feels his heart squeeze with each passing minute that Marina doesn’t join him. 

Five years.  They’ve been together five years and with every year that passes, Colin convinces himself that this insecurity will fade.  That they just need more time to entwine their lives and he’ll be certain that she chose to be with him, that she will forsake all others just like he did for her. 

Yet as the years tick on, his insecurity only grows. 

That can’t be normal, can it?

Colin orders a whiskey neat, some of the tension in his neck loosening as he sees George lead Marina off the dance floor. The moments tick by but Marina still doesn’t join Colin, seemingly content chatting with her ex-boyfriend. 

Colin drums his fingers on the bar top, his eyes fixed to the former couple. 

Why isn’t anyone interrupting them? What’s the point of having seven siblings and seven in-laws if they’re just going to faff around while Colin’s fiancée is trapped in a conversation with her ex?! Surely Marina is desperate to get away but is too polite to dismiss the love sick idiot drooling over her. 

Colin knocks back his drink. It’s time to step in and give Marina the help she clearly needs. 

“Colin,” Anthony says curtly, stepping in front of Colin. 

Colin can’t help but sigh in irritation, causing Anthony to cock an eyebrow. 

“We need to talk about the Davidson account,” Anthony continues, ignoring the irritation bleeding off Colin. 

As if the night couldn’t get any worse for Colin. 

“It’s not a good time, I was just about to rescue Marina. Her ex clearly isn’t getting the memo she doesn’t want him around anymore,” Colin explains as he tries to sidestep Anthony. 

Anthony glances over at Marina and George and winces slightly before turning back to Colin. “Ah… she looks fine,” Anthony says awkwardly before quickly ordering two whiskeys from the bartender. 

Colin looks over at Marina and feels his heart break a bit as she grabs George’s obnoxiously big arm. 

It doesn’t matter, Colin tells himself. Marina chose Colin. Colin asked Marina multiple times if she was sure she wanted to be with him and not George and she reassured him every time. 

Maybe George just had a fly on his arm and she was squishing it for him. 

“So the Davidson account,” Anthony says, pushing the rocks glass into Colin’s hand. “Not your best work.”

Anthony’s tone has the same air of a disappointed father and it causes Colin’s hackles to rise. 

Anthony isn’t Colin’s father and never would be. He’s only seven years older than Colin yet he insists upon acting like Colin is still a child. For a long time, Colin let it slide, understanding that Anthony was struggling with the weight of being the eldest. Then, as Colin spent his twenties travelling the world, Colin understood Anthony thought he was wasting his life and didn’t take the condescending attitude personally. 

But Colin is thirty-five now, six years into his career as a project manager for the Bridgerton Group. He has a flat and a fiancée. He has friends, he has hobbies. He settled down just like Anthony wanted, yet it’s still not good enough. 

“Can we talk about this on Monday?” Colin asks, trying not to grit his teeth. His dentist was already concerned about how often Colin is clenching his teeth, he doesn’t need another lecture on top of being told he needs to floss more. “It’s Eloise’s wedding.”

Anthony tuts and Colin can’t help but ball his fist. 

Colin might not be able to take George in a fight but he’s sure he can take Anthony, who is looking softer with every passing year and every additional child. 

“Be in my office first thing on Monday,” Anthony replies before leaving Colin, walking straight to his wife, Kate, and putting his arm around her waist. 

Colin uses the opportunity to look back at Marina, a stone settling in his stomach as he sees that she still has her arm on George’s forearm. 

Fuck this. 

Colin finishes his whiskey in one gulp before stomping up to the exes, their voices getting clearer as he approaches. 

“Remember when you dove in the river to get my keys?” Marina asks George with a laugh. 

“I didn’t want you to get in trouble for losing them again! Do you still lose everything you touch?” George asks teasingly. 

“No!” Marina replies, swatting his arm.

“Do you remember when we went to the drive in that one time?” George asks, taking half a step closer to Marina. “With your dad’s car?”

“Hey!” Colin quickly interjects, unable to bear the trip down memory lane any longer. A wave of satisfaction washes over him as Marina drops her hand from George’s arm. George frowns, his eyes darting to where her hand was. 

Colin quickly scoops up Marina’s hand, kissing her engagement ring with a flourish. She offers him a tight smile and the weight in his stomach gets worse. 

Does she not want him to kiss her hand? Or does she just not want him?

“A beautiful wedding isn’t it?” Colin asks George, tugging Marina to his side. She puts her hand against his chest stiffly, giving herself some more space. 

Colin swallows the lump forming in his throat. 

He isn’t sure what this means but he knows it isn’t good. 

“Uh, yeah,” George replies, not taking his eyes off of Marina. “If you’ll excuse me, Penelope and I have to get a surprise ready for El and Phil.”

George pauses before reaching out to touch Marina’s elbow. They look at each other for a moment before George turns away, walking over to Penelope who greets him with a smile. 

This really isn’t fucking good. 

Colin can hear Penelope’s melodic laughter as she walks away with George from across the hall and it causes the irritation in his chest to spike. 

What right does George have to make Penelope laugh so freely? It bothers Colin that Penelope is at such ease with the man that is desperate to ruin what’s left of Colin’s life (because of course Penelope took a big chunk with her once she decided to stop being friends with him). 

Colin tugs Marina closer to him, his body almost rippling with anxiety. 

“I told Penelope she should bring George as her plus one to our wedding,” Colin says with a false brightness. 

He watches as Marina’s face shifts to anger, leaving him feeling more dejected. 

“Why would you do that?” She snaps, finally pulling away from him. It should leave him feeling bereft but instead, Colin feels like it’s a small mercy. 

“Why do you care so much?” Colin retorts. “Actually, don’t answer that, I think I know.” 

This is usually the part where Marina rolls her eyes before reassuring Colin. Where she soothes his doubts, telling him that she only loves him, that George is in the past, that no one will come between him. 

This is usually the part where she hangs off his neck, beaming up at him with a winning smile, laying small kisses on his neck until he laughs, his previous jealousy forgotten. 

This is usually the part where he buries the creeping doubts he has about their relationship, about her feelings, about their future. Where he tells himself all is well and they just need to meet that next milestone and people will finally see that Marina chose him. That George is just a story from the past, a childhood sweetheart, a first love. 

First loves don’t mean best loves and Colin knows he can love her better than George ever did. 

“We can’t do this here,” Marina croaks out, folding her arms over her waist as if she is hugging herself. 

“Then let’s go home because I can’t take this shit anymore,” Colin hisses out. Marina flinches at his tone but doesn’t argue. Colin sees her eyes well with tears but it only causes his anger to get worse.

Five years. For five years he’s put up with this bullshit and he just can’t do it anymore.

Marina slinks over to their table to grab her bag before joining Colin again.

“Should we say goodbye to your family?” She asks softly.

Colin merely shakes his head. The last thing he wants to do is kiss the cheeks of all the happy couples in his family, all the fated couples who don’t live in the shadows of first loves.

Colin sweeps out of the venue, walking through the flowered arches that lead to the main room as he clicks away on his phone, quickly ordering an Uber. He’s grateful his mother was able to convince Eloise and Phillip to have their wedding in the city, his ride only minutes away.

“Colin,” Marina starts softly from behind him.

Colin feels his heart hammer in his chest, the cool late March air doing nothing to alleviate the heat spreading over him or the sweat beginning to drip down his neck. 

“Let’s just wait until we get home,” Colin says quietly as he mindlessly swipes through his apps, desperate to take his mind off the argument they’re about to have. 

The Uber arrives quickly, Marina and Colin riding silently. Out of the corner of his eye, Colin watches as Marina twists her engagement ring around and around her finger as she stares out the car window. The right line of her mouth and the far away look in her eyes as she stares at the London streets makes Colin feel even more anxious. Colin picks at his fingernails, a habit from childhood he tried so hard to break. 

Colin spends the entire ride trying to analyze the evening. Was he overreacting? Was it just a friendly dance between two people who have known each other for fifteen years? Surely, in a world where Colin didn’t muck up his friendship with Penelope, he would be dancing with her too and it wouldn’t be untoward. 

But of course, Colin never dated Penelope. Marina spent nine long years with George. 

Shouldn’t Marina be reassuring him by now if nothing was going on? Putting a hand on his thigh, telling him that George means nothing to her? Why is she making Colin feel like the bad guy in all of this, like the jealous fool who is reading too much into everything?

Thankfully, they’re at their Marylebone flat within ten minutes. Colin almost leaps out of the car with a muttered, “Thanks, mate,” before darting to the front door. Marina is dragging her feet behind him, chewing on her bottom lip.

They both know the argument that they’re going to have. It’s an argument they’ve had more than a dozen times in their five years together yet the way Marina is moving is making Colin feel more nervous than usual.

She hasn’t initiated touching him all day. Not a handhold, not a kiss, not a brush of fingers during the wedding vows. 

Colin tries to push the thought out of his mind as he steadies his hand to unlock the front door, opening it for Marina. She doesn’t thank him, instead hugging her purse to her chest as she dips her head as she walks past him.

Colin takes a steadying breath before following her up the stairs to their second-floor flat. 

This isn’t just not good, this is fucking bad.

As they walk into their flat, Marina throws her clutch onto the kitchen counter before turning to Colin, her eyes already welling with tears.

“Do you know how fucking humiliating it is that you were hanging off your ex-boyfriend at my sister’s wedding? Even Portia was fawning over you two!” Colin explodes, the last few hours of frustration finally spilling out. “My entire family was there, Marina!”

Colin can’t help but feel mortified at the idea of his siblings and their spouses, his aunts and uncles, his mother watching as George and Marina stared at each other so lovingly on the dance floor, mere hours after she was on his arm for family photos. 

Everyone knows. Everyone knows. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Marina says mournfully. “We just got… caught up.”

“You always get caught up with him!” Colin shouts. “You’ve been broken up for six years, when is it going to stop?”

“I don’t know!” Marina cries, tears spilling onto her cheeks. “I don’t know if it will stop. I don’t know if I can, I can’t just stop loving him!”

Colin blinks at her, his shoulders slumping. 

“You told me you love me,” Colin whispers, his voice catching in his throat.

“I do love you but I love him too!” Marina insists, yet she doesn’t approach Colin, instead twisting her ring around her finger again. “He’s my first love.”

Colin throws his arms in the air.  “I don't still love Tessa! I moved on with my life! And I didn’t start dating until I was over her,” Colin sneers.

“George is an important part of my life and I’ll always love him. Maybe you just didn’t love Tessa as much as I love George,” Marina shrugs.

Colin scoffs at that. It’s typical Marina, speaking as if the love she and George once shared is some sort of mythical force and everyone else’s love story pales in comparison. 

The fact is, his former relationship was not that much different than the one Marina had with George. He met Tessa during Freshers Week, lost his virginity to her and dated her for five years. They were together through university and into the beginnings of his former job in travel journalism but the constant work trips drove them apart. He loved her in that special way someone does with their first love but the constant changes of their mid-twenties drove them apart.

He moved on. He fucked around. It took more than a year, but Colin was able to move past his love for his ex-girlfriend. They parted amicably, blocking each other on every platform and never speaking again.

The way Colin thought everyone should end a relationship. 

“Don’t,” Colin hisses. “You don’t know shit about my former relationships because I left them in the past, where they belong. I loved Tessa madly but I got over her, the way you’re supposed to when you end a relationship!”

“You just want to own all of me, you can’t stand that George will always have a piece of my heart,” Marina sneers. 

“Now I’m the bad guy? For not wanting my fiancée to be emotionally attached to someone we’ll see multiple times a year? Who can’t stop flirting with her ex-boyfriend?” Colin asks, exasperation lacing his tone. 

“Maybe I can’t stop flirting with him!”

“Then how is he supposed to get over you?”

“Maybe I don’t want him to!”

Colin’s mouth slams shut as he stares at Marina in shock.

Part of him knew it was true. He never wanted to believe it but he saw Marina glare daggers at every woman who approached George, racing over to him whenever she could. He heard how angry she was when he suggested Penelope give George a chance. 

“I guess the truth has finally come out,” he says, rubbing a hand over his face. 

Marina stares at her shoes for a few long moments, her chest rising and falling before she looks back up at Colin, her cheeks glistening from her tears. She nods to herself and with a gulp, pulls her engagement ring off of her hand.

“What are you doing?” Colin asks, rushing over to her. He grabs her hand, pushing her ring into her palm. “What are you doing?” He repeats desperately. 

Marina just shakes her head, looking down at their clasped hands before looking back at him, sorrow evident in her eyes. She rubs her hands against the sides of her face, shaking her head.

“I think I want to choose George.”