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English
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Part 2 of SVSSS Writing Server 2025 Bingo
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SVSSS Writing Server 2025 Bingo
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Published:
2025-09-20
Completed:
2025-12-10
Words:
1,575
Chapters:
4/4
Comments:
18
Kudos:
67
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732

The Protagonist Does Not Get the Sniffles! and Other Short Fics

Summary:

My collection of fills for the SVSSS Writing Server Bingo prompts

1. Luo Binghe loses the Protagonist Halo and has to deal with mundane issues. Unfortunately, Shen Qingqiu is away. Mu Qingfang is Not Paid Enough to deal with this.
2. Shang Qinghua makes a horrible mistake. Shen Yuan makes him pay for it.
3. Shen Qingqiu gets resurrected WWX-style.
4. Yue Qi gets caught by Qiu Jianluo instead of Shen Jiu.

Notes:

For the SVSSS Writing Server Bingo! I saw this prompt on the list of prompts available and unfortunately did not get it on my bingo card. I did, however, get Mu Qingfang is not paid enough for this, so I decided to do it anyway and make it Mu Qingfang's problem >:) This is short, stupid and crack-y, but I hope it makes you laugh!

Chapter 1: The Protagonist Does Not Get the Sniffles! (Crack)

Chapter Text

Mu Qingfang quite likes Shen Qingqiu. He does not begrudge his martial sibling any of his well-earned happiness with the Emperor of the Demon Realm. He does, however, resent the fact that said Emperor is making a pest of himself on Qian Cao Peak rather than on Qing Jing Peak. He is a well-respected physician, not a wet nurse.

“Something is clearly wrong. Just this morning, This Lord was sweeping in front of the bamboo house and tripped! Over nothing! Someone must have cursed This Lord in the hopes of disposing of him before Shizun’s return!”

He is a well-respected physician and he will not curse out a patient, no matter how irritating.

He gives Luo Binghe another cursory once-over, the third since he arrived. He takes a deep breath before speaking.

“Lord Luo, this one has found no evidence of a curse. It is quite common to simply trip, there is… nothing to be ashamed of?”

He is a well-respected physician and, unfortunately, not much of a fighter and thus no match for Luo Binghe. He cannot throw him off his Peak, no matter how much he wants to.

The Emperor of the Demon Realm sniffs valiantly. His eyes, red and watery, shine pitifully. Snot drips from his nose.

“And this! This Lord has never felt so miserable, not even in the depths of the Abyss! There must be something wrong! This Lord cannot let Shizun see him in this state when he returns, Shizun will never want to look at him again!” Tears overflow and Luo Binghe's face scrunches up in a vain attempt to hold them back.

“Lord Luo…”

He is a well-respected physician and he will not bury his face in his hands and scream.

“This Lord does not get the sniffles.”

Perhaps just this once.

Chapter 2: A Horrifying Massacre (Crack)

Summary:

Shang Qinghua makes a horrible mistake. Shen Yuan makes him pay for it.

Notes:

For the Bingo prompt Face slapping (getting back at others/revenge). This... doesn't quite fit the definition of face slapping, but it's in the general spirit of revenge, so I'm counting it as good enough!

Chapter Text

“Cucumber-bro,” Shang Qinghua calls out, tears streaming down his face, “Have mercy bro, I really didn’t know.”

Shen Yuan stares at him from across the table like a god passing judgment.

“Didn’t you? He was with me for months. You saw him in my room every day for the past 6 months. And you say you didn’t know?”

“I swear, bro,” Shang Qinghua clasps his hands together in prayer and prostrates himself before him. “I would never have touched him if I knew, I didn’t mean to, please bro, you have to believe me.”

“Fine. Say I believe you, that doesn’t explain what you did to him.” Shen Yuan points imperiously at the absolute carnage that lies between them, the sad remains of Luo Binghe. He feels his eyes prickling with tears. “How could you, traitor? How could you do this do my Binghe? Look at him!”

Shen Yuan covers his eyes, he can’t even look at Binghe, whatever is left of him. He gathers himself. This sacrifice will not be in vain.

“You owe me for this Airplane. From now on, I own your life and your livelihood. I own all of it and you will pay me back.”

“Bro, come on…”

“You broke my Limited Edition Blackened Lotus Luo Binghe figurine!” Shen Yuan sobs into his hands. “You better make it up to me with exclusive content, you hack!”

Chapter 3: Ritual (Hurt no Comfort)

Summary:

Shen Qingqiu wakes in the middle of a strange ritual.

Notes:

WARNING: this fill is Hurt No Comfort, please skip if that isn't for you!

For the Bingo prompt: SJ gets brought back from the dead WWX style, with YQY as LWJ, maybe? I took this to its natural conclusion and I regret nothing.

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu comes to consciousness slowly, lying uncomfortably on the floor of his room. He groans and slowly pushes himself to a sitting position. He must have had another qi deviation, he thinks, he feels odd, disconnected from his body. His limbs feel like they’re moving with a delay, slow and unresponsive. He feels like his body does not quite fit right.

He looks around, registering the room for the first time. This- this is not his room. There are… strange markings all over the floor: demonic sigils, some sort of bastardized summoning ritual.

He stumbles to his feet to get a better look at the markings and feel a wave of vertigo; the floor feels farther than usual, as if he were floating above his body.

A summoning ritual… for a vengeful spirit? To call on a spirit to get revenge? A summoning to- to trade one’s body and soul in exchange for revenge.

And he was lying in the middle of it.

His head spins and he clutches it, trying to steady himself. The strong scent of blood fills his senses.

He looks at his arm.

There is a deep, bloody cut on his wrist.

A blood sacrifice for the ritual, perhaps? But then, did the ritual fail? Are the people who brought him here coming back for another attempt?

He needs- he needs to get out of here, find his way back to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect from wherever he is right now. He needs to figure out just what happened and how he got here, wherever here is.

He spins around, getting a better look at the room. It is… surprisingly well furnished, as if someone was planning to stay here for an extended period of time. He also spots, near the door, a qiankun pouch. Given the state of the room, it is hopefully well-stocked and he can simply grab it and be on his way.

There is little time to lose. He marches over and grabs the pouch to inspect its contents and stop short.

Under it is a letter, addressed to him.

Addressed to ‘Xiao Jiu’.

His hand moves on its own, reaching for the letter against his will. He stares at it and shakily unfolds it.

As he reads, his vision blurs with tears and soft keening sound rises from somewhere around him. Choked sobs claw their way out of his throat, his heart pounds. He barely registers falling to his knees, a sudden impact, letter clutched to his chest. He doubles over, breathing harsh and ragged.

“aa…Aa…aaaaAAaAaaAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”

Qi-ge- Qi-ge!

How dare that idiot! Fuck him, how dare he!! Who asked him for this, who- who?! Who does this serve?! That selfish, moronic, imbecile of a man! This isn’t- He didn’t want this! He never wanted this! He wanted his Qi-ge back, that was all he wanted, why did he…?

Why-

Why?

WHY??

“WHY?? QI-GE!!” Agonized cries echo into the empty space around him. Anger, rage, resentment, pain, grief. “WHY?”

He collapses.

A small, sardonic corner of his brain remarks that, it is only Qi-ge’s body that saves him from a devasting qi deviation.

For all the good that does him now.

He is dead. Qi-ge is dead.

And yet-

Qi-ge left him behind again.

Chapter 4: Recklessness (Angst)

Summary:

Yue Qi gets himself caught by Qiu Jianluo instead of Shen Jiu

Notes:

WARNING: this fill is Angst, possible No Comfort, depending on how you read it, please skip if that isn't for you! The comfort is definitely not in this ficlet, it all depends what you think happens after :3

For the Bingo prompt: Role Reversal

Chapter Text

“Qi-ge!” Shen Jiu whispers urgently. “Qi-ge! Are you there?”

“Xiao Jiu?” An answering whisper comes through the door. “What are you doing here? What if Young Master Qiu catches you!”

“Shut up! You’re already calling that bastard Young Master?” Fury fills his chest and, with nowhere to go, Shen Jiu can only focus his anger in Yue Qi’s direction. “Dammit! I told you not to be so reckless! I told you to just leave Shiwu to die. Why did you have to go after him, huh? Stupid Qi-ge!”

“Aha… Sorry Xiao Jiu,” Yue Qi sounds strained, “Qi-ge was stupid.”

“Qi-ge…” Unfamiliar worry surges within him. In all these years, he’s never been separated from Yue Qi for so long. He’s never been unable to check on Yue Qi for so long. Yue Qi gets himself hurt all the time, always for others… He needs his Xiao Jiu to keep an eye on him and now, here they are, separated by this door.

“Qi-ge, I’ll get you out, I’ll go find the keys. And then we’ll leave. I heard people talking, apparently this cultivation sect takes in anyone. We’ll go and—”

“Sorry Xiao Jiu,” Yue Qi interrupts, low and tired, “I think Young— Qiu Jianluo broke my leg. Qi-ge can’t go with you. Qi-ge would only slow you down.”

“You! What did that fucker do?” Shen Jiu presses his forehead against the door, hands clenched into tight fists. “I’ll… I’ll carry you, Qi-ge! I can… I can carry you!”

“Haha…” Yue Qi’s voice seems to be getting weaker and weaker. “Xiao Jiu is too small. Qi-ge is too big for you to carry.”

For a moment, there is nothing but low rasping sounds from the other side of the door.

“Xiao Jiu should go,” a soft breath of a whisper, “before anyone finds him here.”

“Qi-ge!” Shen Jiu grits his teeth and resists the urge to bang his fist against the door. “Let me… let me see your face, Qi-ge. Please…”

He peers desperately through the keyhole, eyes burning with tears that won’t come.

Light shuffling sounds accompanied by soft pained grunts. Before Yue Qi appears in his view. What little Shen Jiu can see is swollen, black and blue bruises all over. His breathing sounds pained and harsh. Yue Qi looks as if he can barely open his eyes.

“…I’ll kill him. I’ll kill that fucker.” Red fills his vision and he wants nothing more than to hunt down that Qiu bastard and beat him black and blue until he’s unrecognizable.

Yue Qi smiles his usual gentle smile. It looks horribly painful, pulling at his cut lip and at his bruised cheeks.

“Xiao Jiu shouldn’t be reckless. Qi-ge is the reckless one, no?” He teases, in between rasping breaths.

“…I’ll come back. I’ll become the most powerful cultivator ever and then I’ll come back for Qi-ge and I’ll kill that Qiu fucker.

“In this lifetime, all of my loyalty, I give to you, Qi-ge. I’ll come back. I promise.”

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