Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Belly Conklin's (POV)

I always knew from a young age I didn't like to be alone. I remember being so scared to sleep alone at cousins' for the first time. Susannah suggested I sleep separately from the boys to my mother. So before the summer started, she designed an entire bedroom specifically for me. This meant I had to sleep separately from Conrad, Steven, and Jeremiah. I was starting to get older, and Susannah thought I should have my own space since I was her 'special girl.' The memory felt like it was yesterday, like I could still smell it.

"Say thank you to Susannah." My mom said to me.

"Thank you."A younger me said, holding a teddy bear and lying on my new bed.

I remember the fresh wallpaper and its smell, the same wallpaper to this day. She told me it was imported from Paris. I was so excited to have something of my own, my own space at cousins', but I also felt so worried. It was as if there was a pit in my stomach telling me I was growing up, that I didn't need my brother, Conrad, or Jere anymore. I was so scared they wouldn't want to play with me anymore since I had my own room.

After my mom gave me a kiss goodnight, shut off the lights, and closed the door, I could hear Conrad messing with me on the other side of the wall. He was making scary sounds, imitating a ghost. The boys' room was right next to mine. When I felt too scared, I quickly walked back downstairs, where I told my mom, "I don't want to sleep alone." I needed her. She came back to my bed with me, wrapped me up in her arms, and I fell asleep peacefully.

I knew after that I always needed somebody. I could do things by myself, of course; I wasn't completely codependent. It just makes me more comfortable knowing there is a shoulder to lean on for support.

I snap out of my daydreaming when I get a notification on my phone; it was a text from Jere. My Jeremiah, my first kiss, my first friend. I loved Jeremiah, but I didn't love him honestly. I thought maybe after 4 years of being together the memories of Conrad might disintegrate from my mind. But instead they only got stronger, like they were boiling inside of me, like I could explode if someone mentioned his name.

The last time I saw Conrad was 2 years ago; I drove up to cousins' a few days after Christmas. Since it was Christmas break from college, this meant Jere was on a ski trip with his dad and Conrad. My brother was with Taylor's family, and my mom and dad were both busy working. I was alone in my house, and I didn't like to be alone. Cousins was the only place I didn't feel like that, even if it was an empty house.

So I packed a small bag and grabbed Steven's car keys and left without telling anyone; Steven wouldn't even notice. I was in my red PJs that Susannah bought me a few Christmases before she passed away; I cherished them. Once I got to the summer house, I pulled out the bag of chocolate Taylor had given me and sat down on the couch comfortably.

Eating chocolate and watching Home Alone at cousins'. I was home alone just like Kevin, but I didn't feel like it. This is what I needed. While I was in the middle of stuffing my face with the tiny milk chocolate bites and watching the scene where Kevin is setting up his traps inside his house, I heard a loud knock on the door. I felt a wave of fear rush over me, and I didn't move. It took me another loud set of knocks to get me out of this paralyzed state.

'What would Kevin do?' I thought to myself. I slowly stood up and grabbed a poker next to the fireplace. Kevin would fight; he wouldn't just sit here, he would protect his home. As I got right in front of the door, fire poker in my hands, ready to strike, I heard a voice. "Steven let me in." It sounded quite familiar, and that's when it registered.

I unlocked the door hastily, the fire poker now lower to the ground in a less defensive stance. It was him; it was really him. Seeing Conrad's face took the breath out of my lungs and made my face turn pale. At the same time the cold air gave me goosebumps. I couldn't believe he was standing right in front of me. His cheeks were a rose color, and he had a candy cane hanging from his lips that stained them a tint of red.

"Belly," he said, surprised, the candy cane falling from his lips, and a look of surprise fell on his face.

This memory was ripped from my mind as my phone was buzzing again; Jere was calling. I answered with my cheeks flushed.

"Hey, Bells."

"Hey," I respond back, trying not to sound as caught off guard.

"I sent you a text about the end-of-the-year party at my frat tonight, but I just wanted to call and check in instead. Do you still want me to pick you up around 6?"

I looked around my dorm; it was finals week, and most people were already done and packed up and left. For my roommate Jillian, this is the case. I look at the empty bed across the room, and it was the same way on my side. I already finished my finals and had packed everything up the past two days. I only had some bedding and some pillows and my backpack with some clean clothes and basic essentials. Most frats and sororities were having their last big parties and saying their last goodbyes. I was leaving Monday morning.

"Yes, yes, I'm going to start getting ready now. I just have to throw some clothes on quickly and brush out my hair."

"Okay, great, Bells, I love you. I'll see you soon."

"Love you too, bye." I smile, hanging up with Jere.

I look in my bag; there it is, I thought to myself. I decided since it was the last party of the year, I would wear my white kitten heels and my white mini dress that had blue flowers on it. It was also extremely therapeutic getting ready by myself. I was used to Jillian talking on FaceTime in the background or the sound of her clicking on her computer, but complete silence made the task of putting on makeup and straightening my hair peaceful.

I reach into my bag looking for my gold bracelet when I hear a knock on my dorm room door. I walk over to the door, the sound of my heels clicking on the floor and open it up.

"Hey." Jeremiah walks in, giving me a big hug that makes me giggle as my feet lift off the ground. "I missed you." He kisses me on my face and then my lips.

"I missed you too, and before you ask, I'm ready." I grab my small makeup bag, wallet, and keys.

"I thought I was driving." Jeremiah said with a pouty face and looked down at me.

"Hey, I will be DD. You're a senior, and it's your last frat party ever, and you should have fun. I will do all the driving." I started looking back up at him with a stern set of eyes; suddenly Jere's pouty face turned into a wide smile.

"Your best girlfriend ever." He hugs me again and gives me a long kiss.

I pull away and open my eyes softly. "Alright, Mr. Last frat party ever, let's get out of here." I laugh as I pull him out of my dorm and down to the parking lot.

————————————————————————————

We arrive at Jere's frat, and the music is so loud I could hear it once I was out of my car and I parked halfway down the street. There were people walking by as we got to the front door. I always hated the idea of Frats; I thought they were very clique-oriented, but I loved a good party. Once inside the house, I scan the room for Taylor; she has to be here somewhere.

Jere, being the social butterfly he is, grabbed my hand and pulled me straight through the crowd of people. He proceeded to say hello to those he knew that we passed by, and I occasionally recognized some of the girls from my former volleyball team.

Eventually I find Taylor next to the drinks and immediately embrace her in a hug. "I have been looking everywhere for you." I smile brightly at her.

"I somehow cannot leave right here," she laughs drunkenly.

I glance at the bottles of Malibu and a variety of mixers behind her and give her a wide-eyed look and laugh, "You are stuck right next to all the alcohol."

"Yes, oh, hi, Jeremiah." Drunk Taylor finally realizing Jere was standing right beside me.

"Hey Taylor." He gives a polite hug and grins. "You just now noticed me."

"I honestly had no clue who you were at first." She laughs knowingly. "If you can't tell, I have been here for a while and was pregaming at 12; I had to end this year the right way." Taylor glances to her left, where two other girls are standing, and they look at us and then back to Taylor.

"Belly, Jeremiah, this is Vanessa and Lacy; they are a part of my sorority." They both wave at me with big smiles, and the same to Jeremiah. "Hey Jeremiah." The lacy girl speaks up: "How did they know each other?" I questioned myself but shook the pang of jealousy I felt away.

"Hey Lacy," Jeremiah smiles back politely. She looks and turns to me. "And Belly," she says, turning to me, "Taylor has said such good things about you. I heard your major is sports psychology. My best friend, Marissa, says she loves working with Professor Hunt."

My jealousy started to fade about her; she was being very nice. "Oh, Professor Hunt, he's great. He's been helping me so much this year, actually. And I believe I know Marissa. Is she a..." Jeremiah cuts me off.

"Hey, it was good to see you guys, but me and Belly have to go dance. Right bells." I looked confused at him and then back at Taylor, Lacy, and Vanessa with a wave goodbye, and then they waved back.

The music was so loud I could practically feel it in my chest. I and Jeremiah danced for awhile, and he had a couple of drinks; I could tell he could feel them when he started to mess up some words occasionally. I had to use the bathroom suddenly, and I let Jeremiah know that I was headed up to the bathroom. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I headed for the stairs and into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I looked into the bathroom mirror; my mascara was starting to crumble, and it needed a touch-up. I focused on my eyes, reapplying some mascara. When talking behind the door caught my attention.

"Jeremiah looked so hot tonight." I hear behind the door, and I smile to myself knowingly; of course he did, he always did. It didn't bother me; it just made me happier knowing that he was mine.

"I know, right?" I hear another girl reply. "I'm so jealous you got to hook up with him." My heart practically stops; my breathing halts.

I hear the first girl talk again. "What happens in the frat house stays in the frat house." I looked into the mirror; I felt numb, physically numb. "This can't be true" is the only thing I can rationally think; he couldn't have done this to me. I felt so angry, like if I opened the door I would rip it off the hinges. I open the door and see Lacy and Vanessa. She looks at me, and she has a look filled with surprise. I storm past her and hear Vanessa say, "shit."

My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest; I see Jeremiah, and I feel like I could scream. He was talking with one of his friends from his frat. I pull his shoulder to face me. And I didn't even care. I said it right there and then: "Did you hook up with Lacy?" His facial expression quickly changed, and I could see the fear and guilt spread across his face. "Belly, I..." I cut him off. "I never want to see you again," and I storm off towards the door of the house.

Jeremiah follows me outside trying to speak, "Belly, please, please let me explain." I try to ignore him as I get to the sidewalk.

"Please, Belly. "Please," he begs, and I turn around.

"How could you do this to me?" I practically spit at him. "I love you," the tears start streaming down my face as I yell at him, and I see tears stream down his too.

"Belly It was in February, right after our big fight we had in your dorm about midterms. We didn't speak for days, and I got really drunk. I thought I had lost you. I wasn't in my right mind."

I felt sick; I felt like throwing up right on the ground. And that's exactly what I did. Right onto the sidewalk, Jeremiah walks over to me to help me, but I push him away forcefully.

"Don't touch me," I sob out. "How could you do this?"

"Belly, please, it was a mistake. I'm so sorry..."

"Don't." I look at him; there are tears streaming down his face, and I feel disgusted to even look into his eyes. I turn away. I run to the car as fast as I can; Jeremiah doesn't even try to follow me. The sobs were only getting louder as I got inside my car, and I quickly turned it on and drove away.

I was trying to think rationally, but I couldn't; I couldn't think. Once I got off the street and headed towards my dorm, I felt sick again. The thought of sleeping in my bed tonight, a place where I and Jeremiah have been intimate, made me feel feelings I didn't realize I could feel.

I thought I should just head home, but the idea of my mom's or Steven's reaction to any of this. Made me feel like having a panic attack, and I didn't want to deal with that right now. The tears were still pouring out of my face; my eyes started to burn slightly from the mascara as I drove. I knew the only place I would feel even remotely comfortable right now was an hour away. That's exactly where I headed. I didn't care. How could I? I was in too much pain to care; anger on the ride consumed me the closer I got to cousins. The music I had played only fueled my fire. I felt a rage towards Jeremiah Fisher that was red and bitter. The thought of him sleeping with me after Lacy made me hate him; I never thought I could hate him.

I pull into the driveway, and I sob again. The music was off again, and the rage had turned back into grief and pain. I was like this for the next 20 minutes, sobbing; then I would pause and look at the house, and then I would cry even harder. Eventually the need to go to the bathroom is what got me get out of the car.

I unlock the front door using the spare key under the doormat. It was dark, and there was a smell of the beach that filled the house; it immediately calmed me down and made me less manic. I made my way towards the bathroom and relieved myself; I didn't bother to turn on the light. I looked at myself in the mirror; mascara was all down my face, my eyes were bloodshot, and my face was puffy.

I step out of the bathroom and towards the stairs right as I am halfway up them. The door opened. My breath halted again.

"Belly?"

It felt like I was dreaming, hallucinating the memory from Christmas.

"Belly, what are you doing here?" Conrad stated.

It was real, and it was him. I hadn't turned around yet, embarrassed for him to see my face. "Oh, I just felt like stopping by, that's all." It was a blatant lie, and I know he could hear the hoarseness and shakiness in my voice.

"Are you okay?" The air felt thick, like you could cut it with a knife.

I wasn't okay; I was heartbroken, and the idea of seeing Conrad, whom I have seen once in 2 years, made me feel even more lightheaded. His question is what broke the tiny thread that was holding me together. I wasn't okay; I don't think I'll ever be completely okay knowing Jeremiah cheated on me. I turn around.

Conrad is visibly shocked at the state I am in. He looks at me like somebody had hit him with a baseball bat.

"No, I'm not okay," I sob out, looking at him at the bottom of the staircase. "Jeremiah..." I pause to catch my breath; it was going to be real if I said it out loud. "He cheated on me…and I just found out." I collapsed onto the staircase and held my head against the wall.

Conrad, who is still standing at the bottom of the staircase, doesn't move. I watch him, and his face becomes filled with disgust and anger. I look through blurry, teary eyes and see Conrad's hand form into a fist. I don't think I should’ve told him. Regret instantly fills my body. This makes me shake and cry harder. I see his eyes fall back to me, his face softens, and he walks towards me. He holds me on the staircase while I cry into him. I haven't been this close to him since he picked me up at Christmas when I fell down the stairs. He puts his head on top of mine, and he holds me tight in his arms.

The feeling of being held makes me cry harder. I hate how hurt I feel. Thinking of Jeremiah makes me feel like throwing up again. It still can’t process in my head that what he did is real. I'm hoping I'm going to wake up tomorrow and none of this will have happened.

Conrad doesn't say anything. I'm not even sure how long I have been sitting in this spot. It wasn't until my head was pounding and my tears dried up that I pulled out of his grasp. Conrad still sits in silence as I take my phone out of my purse and look at my phone.

145 missed calls, both from Taylor and Jeremiah.

I open my texts with Taylor, and without even reading them, I send an "I am okay" message and another one saying, "I'm at cousins; do not tell Jeremiah."

I locked my phone, and you could hear the click; it was so quiet. I stare down at the wall at the bottom of the staircase. I could hear a clock ticking and Conrad's breathing next to me.

"I'm sorry." Conrad breaks the silence.

I look over at him. When I do, I see a devastation in his face. Like Jeremiah had hurt him like he did me.

"I can't believe Jeremiah would ever do this to you; I'm so sorry, Belly. You don't deserve that." I look down at the steps and then back to Conrad. His eyes filled with a glossy haze, like he could cry. His face was slack, and his hair was now messy.

"I hate him. Conrad, I didn't think it was even possible; I hate him. We got into a pretty bad fight in February, and he took that as an opening to go off the rails and sleep with another girl. I didn't think he could be so immature, and the fact is the fight was caused by me telling him he needed to take the midterms seriously this year, and I was worried he wasn't going to graduate based on what his counselor was saying to him. I just tried to help..."

Conrad stands up; he reaches out a hand, and I hesitantly grab it, and he pulls me up to stand. I walk slowly behind him down the stairs. "Come with me." He looks back, and he goes into the kitchen. I follow him, and he points to the table. I go and sit, holding my head with my hand. He grabs ice cream, a bottle of water, and three ibuprofen and sets them in front of me.

I look at him kindly. "Thank you." I give a tiny smile.

"Please drink the water; I know you're dehydrated, and I know you love chocolate chip ice cream…" I cut him off and hug him. He tenses up and relaxes quickly into my embrace. His scent, the way it engulfs me, and I never want to leave. I missed him; I hate being away from him. After a moment I pull away.

Conrad fidgets and then watches as I take the ibuprofen and chug the bottle of water. He ends up grabbing me a second bottle. I open the ice cream gallon and take a bite—a large bite. It almost tastes better after crying.

"So I know you're worried about me." He goes to speak, but I put my finger up. "But why are you at cousins? Aren't you supposed to be saving lives in California?" I stare with a curious look, taking another bite of ice cream.

"Oh well, yeah. I, umm, actually decided to take a break." He hesitated and continued. He looks at me and then fidgets with his hands placed on the table. "I've been going to therapy, and my therapist suggested I take a break this summer, and it would be good for me to be." He looks around. "Here." He gestured to the inside of the summer house.

I look at him surprised, and the first genuine smile comes off of my face since before the party. "Therapy? Wow... that's so great, Conrad. It seems like you've got everything figured out."

Conrad's face contorts slightly, and he looks at me. "Okay, enough about me; we can talk about me some other time." This makes me smile again. He is so mature and grown up; his posture and the way he presents himself—he was even wearing a watch.

Conrad looks into my eyes, in a way he hadn't looked at me in a very long time. "I just have to tell you something, Belly." Those words make my breath hitch and my face hot. He doesn't break eye contact.

"I'm telling you now, when I see Jeremiah. I'm not going to defend him. I'm going to do the exact opposite of that actually. Belly, after seeing you hurt like this, I don't think I'll ever let him let this down. You're supposed to be." Conrad stops; he looks to my lips very quickly and then back to my face. "You are supposed to be happy."

"What does that mean?" The clock in the background goes quiet. As if it was holding its breath, waiting to hear his response too. "It means you're somebody you should never hurt, especially cheat on."

I go silent and break our eye contact. Anger starts to rise in me; I could feel it slowly building. I try and tame it by letting the cold ice cream rest on my tongue. What made me angry was Conrad's words. Maybe he was trying to be kind, and I didn't take his words the right way. 'I'm somebody you should never hurt,' yet he hurt me. He hurt a long time ago, and he's looking at my lips, acting as if I have never cried from him. I'm so pent up with anger.

Conrad looks at the table and then reaches for my hand, I presume to comfort me. I pull away from it fast enough to make him look at me hurt. "Belly, I'm sorry I'm not trying to…" I stop his sentence, and it's like hot lava comes pouring out of me.

"No, Conrad, you are trying to. Thank you for being so nice to me, but do not tell me lies. Don't fucking lie to me." I could see pain and confusion arise in his face, and it made me angrier, as if he truly didn't know why his words upset me. I get up and go throw away my ice cream; I start rinsing the dish in the sink, frustrated.

Conrad stands up and faces me, the kitchen island between us. I continue to wash the dish hastily. "I'm sorry." He states it blatantly. "I'm sorry if I crossed a line."

That's when I could no longer contain the anger. It was the worst it's ever been, the angriest I have ever felt. It wasn't even Jeremiah cheating on me that got me this angry. It was him; Conrad did this. He is acting like he never hurt me, he never pushed me away, like he didn't push me with Jeremiah. I'm not stupid, he is acting like he doesn't remember. The hypocrisy for him and his words, It’s astonishing. I slam the dish so hard into the sink it shatters.

Here it was, and the words I could no longer control, words that I didn't know I had in me, were all clear to me. It was like a blurred lens was being removed, and I could see perfectly. "You, Conrad Fisher, have no right to say that to me." I yell.

"You have absolutely no right to tell me I shouldn't ever have to feel heartbroken. When you also broke my heart, it felt like a million bricks being poured onto my chest. I'm not a confused teenage girl anymore, Conrad. I am 21 years old, and you pushed me away. You did it, and I remember. The motel—I remember it all." I yell; the look in his eyes saddens, like I am breaking his heart, but I don't stop.

"So for you to sit here and act like you have never inflicted heartbreak onto me, it's ridiculous." My face was hot, and I was staring at him with rage; he made me angrier. He made me feel things deeper than anybody else.

"You are the reason he and I even got together, remember, Conrad." It felt so good to say that. Like all the anger was ripped out of me and put into a sentence.

I can see his face start to get red too now. He looked angrier—his eyes widened—and the sadness on his face was gone. "Isabell, you are not going to sit here and insinuate Jeremiah wouldn't have cheated on you if I hadn't pushed you two together." He emphasizes, "I refuse to let you have that idea in your head. Yes, you're right. I did hurt you, and I'll never forgive myself for it. I did push you and Jeremiah closer; I think about it all the time. I regret every decision I made at that motel that night. But I didn't make Jere do what he did; he was supposed to be better, better than I ever could be for you. But I know, Belly, I would never even imagine cheating on you."

He comes closer, walking around the corner of the kitchen island, and stands in front of me. "You don't deserve to feel pain; you never should feel any of it. I wish I could take that feeling away from you." I can feel his anger now, his intense gaze looking down at me. "I hate that I ever hurt you; I hate that I ever have to watch you cry. So no belly, I will never let Jere live this down. You were supposed to be happy with Jere. I never wanted this to happen." He stops; he looks down at me, his breathing fast. I can tell when I look at his chest. My heart is racing; I can feel it beating. It's thumping in my ears.

The breath catches in my throat again. "I think I'm still in love with you." I state I didn't think I could get the words out of my mouth. "I don't know what to do," tears well up in my already extremely swollen eyes.

Conrad's entire demeanor changes instantly; he looks at me but doesn't speak. After a minute I assumed he wasn't going to say anything, so I went to walk away from him. Before I can, he grabs my arm and pulls me around to face him. If we got any closer, my lips would be on his. His hands grab my face and wipe the tears away. Instead of kissing me, he pulls me into a hug where he leans against the kitchen island and I lean into him. His arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"I still love you, Belly. I never stopped loving you, Belly. I don't think I could ever get you out of my system." I look up at him, his smile creeping on his lips.

I deserved to be happy, I thought, looking into his eyes. Jeremiah didn't care how I felt when he was inside of Lacy, so I didn't care how he felt when I smashed my lips onto the boy I've loved my entire life. Conrad is taken aback for a moment and then sinks into the intense kiss. He eventually lifts me up and carries me to the staircase. Where he ends up pressing my back up against the wall.

I break away, and I take a tug at his shirt, which he immediately removes. God, his body—he has matured so much, not just his personality. The touches are more intense and methodical than I remember.

Conrad takes his hand out of my hair and places it on my ass; he grabs it and squeezes, making my body jolt against his touch. I giggle against his lips. Conrad pulls me into him and carries me further up the stairs. He only breaks away from the kiss to watch his steps. He clashes his lips back onto mine, and he takes me into his bedroom. The smell of his room—it was so warm, and it smelled just like him. It only makes me want him more.

Conrad sets me down onto his bed, and I feel him grunt as I bite his lips slightly. We make out for I don't know how long. Conrad was on top of me; my head was reeling. I was wrapping my legs around his waist, as he would leave me and never come back if he stopped. Conrad pulls away and looks down at me; I could see Desire in his eyes. Conrad has to practically push himself off of me. He stands against his dresser, catching his breath. I look at him confused, catching my breath simultaneously.

"I'm sorry; it's just that I don't want to rush into anything." He looks at me with a torn expression. looking down at his hands, then back to me.

I get up off the bed and walk over towards him and hug him. I look up at him and wrap my arms around his waist and place my head on his chest. "I missed you, Conrad. I missed us." His arms reciprocated, wrapping around me.

"I missed you too, Belly." He kisses my forehead.

"Let's just relax?" He questions, and I nod with a smile and look up at him.

"Do you have anything I could wear, perhaps?" I pop my mouth at the end of the sentence, and he grins down at me. He lets go and walks over to his dresser. He grabs a larger t-shirt that is dark maroon, and he gets himself some sweatpants. I throw my dress off, and I catch Conrad staring at me like he was seeing me for the first time. I throw the large maroon t-shirt over my head. Conrad pulls off his jeans and puts on sweatpants. I watch him so intensely.

"You like what you see," he flirts.

"Of course," I state plainly, flirting back. My cheeks were still flushed.

I sit on the bed, and Conrad sits next to me. I was only wearing underwear underneath his large t-shirt. And being next to him, I didn't care; it felt normal. Even if I had not been like this with him in years, it felt exactly how it should be. Conrad turns on the TV in his room.

"What about…" he trails off, scrolling the options.

"OOO." I practically jump up and down when I see Forrest Gump. "Yes, please, Forest Gump, pleaseeeee." I beg, and he laughs.

"If you insist." He states with a big grin on his face at my reaction to even seeing the movie. He proceeds to press play.

We are around ten minutes into the movie when Conrad stands up and pulls something out of his bag. God, he looked so good shirtless I couldn't look away as he walked over to his suitcase. I tried to not be noisy and look away as I opened it up. But I kept sneaking glances at what he was doing. He walks back over holding a jar. I look at it, trying to figure out what it is.

Conrad catches me looking as he lies back down onto the bed. "Oh, umm, yeah, my therapist suggested once in a while at nighttime I take a 'gummy' to help me relax."

I look at him confused. "A gummy?"

He smiles and chuckles. "Like an edible."

"Oh, okay. Sorry, for some reason I got lost there. Does it help?" I look at his hands holding the small jar.

"Yes, actually I don't do it every night, but when I do it helps me fall asleep and calms me. It also makes me laugh a lot, which is a plus. I'll be sitting in bed scrolling on my phone, and I'll be laughing so hard. It's good for me, I think."

"I remember when you used to smoke; did that help too?" I question curiously.

"Oh well, yes. But I would rather not smell like marijuana when working in a hospital and with patients. This was also prescribed to me by a doctor. So it's way more legal now, especially because I'm turning 23 now and was smoking at 18–19." He grins.

"Can I try?" His head snaps towards me.

"You want to try?"

"I mean, I'm in a safe space." I gesture to his room. "And believe it or not, I have smoked many times since I started college." I smile at his astonished face.

"Isabell Conklin, didn't you just turn 21 a few weeks ago?" He grins, and I laugh at his joke and hit his arm.

"Here," he hands me one and places the jar on the nightstand. "Cheers," he says, and I tap my edible to his, and I take mine into my mouth and swallow it. Conrad does the same.

————————————————————————

Conrad Fisher (POV)

Watching the movie next to Belly was so peaceful, a type of peace I had been yearning for. I have always wished to be next to her like this for years. We were about an hour into the movie when I noticed Belly started laughing a lot more than she had at the rest of the movie. I could tell the edible was hitting her, and it was starting to hit me too. I could tell because Tom Hanks was making me laugh a lot more than I know he should.

"I would be so mad if I were Lieutenant Dan." She laughed hard, and her laugh made me laugh. Her head falls on my chest when she laughs into it. I instantly threaded my fingers in her hair; it was almost like it was second nature for me. The thoughts of beating the absolute shit out of Jeremiah have subsided from earlier, and now I can only think of her. I only want her; I have always only wanted her.

"Earth to Conrad," she giggles, looking at me from slightly above as I was now fully lying down, staring at the ceiling; the sound of the movie was now background noise. Shit, I was high, almost higher than normal. I think it was because I was with her; Belly heightens every experience.

"Yes," I cough out. "Sorry, I'm just lost in thought." Her eyes, her beautiful eyes, look down at me again, and I suddenly feel an overwhelming need to touch her.

"I think the edibles are working because I'm hungry." He bites her nails slightly. I can't tell if it's intentional, but she licks her lip afterward. I felt myself growing inside my sweatpants. These edibles always made me extremely horny. The only difference was I usually was alone and could relieve myself. I hold onto the blanket on top of my legs a little looser to create space.

"Check my bag." I smile; I knowingly carried a bag of chocolate in my luggage. Just in case of a chocolate emergency, as Belly would say.

Belly is practically glowing when she stands there holding a bag of milk chocolate in my big shirt. She had no pants on, and it was eating me alive right now to keep my composure being this high.

Her smile was big and bright. "Yay." She shakes the bag and jumps back onto the bed; I laugh at her excitement. She takes a bite, and chocolate gets onto her lips, and she licks it off. She eats another one, and the same thing happens.

I didn't even watch the movie anymore; she was the movie. And my cock was throbbing from watching her; I was as hard as a rock.

I place my hand on her side, and she relaxes into it, still watching the movie. I was lying completely flat, and she was sitting crisscross on the bed. My hand moved underneath her shirt and grabbed her side; I was yearning for her reaction. I heard Belly let out a gasp, and it made me twitch.

I move upwards with my hand until I reach her breasts; I thread my fingers around her nipple, rolling it between my fingers.

"Conrad," Belly sighed out. I was high, and I basically couldn't help myself. I move the bag of chocolates from the center of the bed and set them onto the nightstand. I grab Belly by her waist and throw her onto my lap. Grabbing her face and smashing her lips onto mine.

She reciprocated, and she kissed me hard, like she never had kissed me before. I could feel her heat grinding into me. Making the pre-cum practically gush out of the tip of my cock, I wanted her, I needed her; it wasn't a question. I sit up straighter now, and Belly still kisses me roughly on top. I reach under the shirt and place my fingers onto her heat.

"Conrad." She moans out. I look at her with desire. Her saying my name like this was music to my ears.

I placed kisses onto her collarbone;Belly was squirming in my grasp. Having this much control over her made me dizzy; I felt like I was dreaming. I really hope I wasn't dreaming.

She placed her lips back onto mine; hunger filled the kisses. I wanted to fuck her, I wanted to remind her what she had missed, and I don't think I can stop myself now. I flip her over onto her back; she stops, and she shimmies out of her underwear.

I look at her for the okay, and she gives me a look, a look that solidifies I can no longer contain what I wanted to do. I placed my fingers onto her, and I could feel her wetness between my fingers. Her gasp and gripping on the sheet only fueled me to play with her clit.

"Please, Conrad," Belly begs; her cheeks were a crimson red, and her hair was now a mess. I put my finger inside of her and move it up and down and in and out hard and fast.

Belly's moans filled the room; it was music to my ears. It only took a minute before she was telling me that she was going to cum. I didn't break eye contact and continued my movement. "Cum for me, Belly; I want you to remember this. My fingers inside of you, making you feel like nobody else can."

I feel her wetness gush into my hand, and I see Belly's face contort; she looked to be in bliss. I slow my movements down and watch as her breathing slowly comes back to normal. She looks into my eyes with a needy, dazed look. "I want you, all of you." My heart jolts at her request.

I told myself I needed to think; I needed to be logical. I didn't have any condoms; I wasn't expecting this. I had to tell her, "Belly, I don't have…"

She sits up slightly and speaks. "I have an IUD. You don't have to worry. I got it last year." My heart starts to race again; this was happening.

Belly tugs at my sweatpants and underwear. I stand up on the side of the bed, and they fall to the floor. I see Belly's face; she sucks on her lip slightly. She herself lifts her shirt off and unclips her bra and throws it somewhere in the room. Her body—my high brain wanted to do unspeakable things. I grab the back of her hair and pull it upward and push her face to mine.

The pent-up feelings that I was now living in this moment. I kiss her lips like I'm yearning, like I was proving my love to her. I feel her grab my dick. I let out a groan and push her backwards onto the bed. She was bare in front of me, her eyes never leaving mine as she watched me align myself with her center.

I could hear the ending music of the movie playing in the background, and that's when I pushed into her. Belly's body pushes up against the bed, and a loud moan escapes her lips. I could practically cum right here. But I wanted to prove something to her, that I would never be like Jeremiah. She is all I needed; Isabell Conklin was all I dreamed of. She was the only girl I wanted to be like this with, the only girl I wanted to fuck senseless.

I start moving in and out of her at a fast pace; she pulls me down so she can bury her face into my shoulder. "I want you to remember this, every moment, every thrust. I don't want you to ever forget it." I say in her ear, still thrusting. She nodded her head and moaned into my shoulder.

"I'll never forget it." She gasps out.

"I'll make sure you don't." I state smugly. I pull out in that moment quickly, which leaves Belly's face speechless, and a slight hint of frustration fills her face. I then lift her slightly and toss her onto her stomach. Her ass up into the air. I position myself back at her core and slide myself back in with a hard thrust.

"Oh my god, Conrad. Fuck." Belly’s words practically pour out of her mouth at my hard thrust. The sounds of our skin connecting fill the room.

"You are mine, Belly," I continue thrusting. "You are the only girl who can make me feel like this, the only girl who will ever make me want to do this." I start slapping her ass, and I hear her whine.

"Please don't stop, Conrad, I'm so close." She can barely form the words as I don't slow my movements down whatsoever.

I lean down, still thrusting, and wrap my arm around her neck. "I love you so much, Belly." My thrust erratic, I could hardly hold my release in; I was waiting for her to let go first. "I love you more than anything."

That is what made her let go. Her hands grip onto my arm wrapped around her neck, and she moans into it. Shaking, her pussy was gripping onto me. I feel myself release my cum, filling her up, which only made her moan into my arm again. I slowly halt my movements and roll off of her and lie next to her. I wrap my arms around her as she and I catch our breaths; sweat drips slightly onto my forehead.

"I love you so much." I say as she finally looks at me, lifting her head. Her dazed face looks at mine, and her hand touches my cheek.

"I love you too." She smiles.

Our lips connect, and all I could feel was peace, a weight lifted off of me that I haven't felt in years. I don't know how I lived without her. I smile into the kiss; my high from the edible was still strong, and I can only imagine hers was the same.

I never wanted this to end, I think, as I stare into her eyes, rubbing her back.

Belly was like the sun, and when the sun came out, the stars faded away.