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Even though it had been years since his mentor's passing, something still clawed at Robby whenever the days proved to be more grueling than most. Tonight was one of the worst ones. It felt as if he had been falling forever and his heart was racing as he tried to make sense of it all. A deep dark pit of dread and misery felt as if it was suffocating him as the sound of his own voice echoed in the dark.
A failure. Unloved. a disappointment!
You can't save yourself, just like you couldn't save Adamson.
Robby started to come to as he felt something shaking and moving him from his wretched slumber. His eyes felt wet as they trailed down his cheeks before disappearing into the scruff of his beard. He tried to keep his heaving breaths from his chest steady as you placed your hands on his shoulders. As shook up as he was, you didn't want to startle him any further.
"Robby--, it's ok, are you--?"
You felt yourself pulled into a bone-crushing hug before anything else could register. He seemed to be doing better, but that wasn't always the case.
"It's just a bad dream, I'm here."
A choked sob and cracking voice tried to form a coherent sentence as you gently rubbed against his back.
"I could hear it again, only it keeps feeling more real....just louder!”
You only pulled back slightly to cup the sides of his face, despite the soft whimper of protest from him. Eye contact never wavered as you pressed your forehead to his.
“You need to forgive yourself, love. It was never your fault. You did what you could. 'I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.'”
His hands intertwined as you still held onto him. As pathetic as he might have felt in this moment, the protective urge from you was a comforting element he appreciated now. The gentle breathing from each other became a lull to the exhausted man as he collapsed back to sleep in your arms. Seeing him at peace, you didn't delay your sleep much longer before keeping him tucked closer to your side.