Work Text:
"What made you change mind?"
Evan lets out a sigh, turning and looking over at Tommy. His face is hot, but based on the pink coating the other man's cheeks not six inches from his own face, he's pretty sure he's not the only one spent at the moment.
They're tucked into the back of his truck, laying on one of those inflatable truck bed mattresses. If he's being honest with himself, he's surprised they didn't pop it with their vigorous activities they've just completed, but it seems to be holding up decently.
A sheepish grin crosses his face as he stares at Tommy briefly, and the pilot stares back at him, both of them smiling a bit wider when their gazes trail to the other's lips and they both realize. Evan laughs, pushing up into Tommy's side, curling against him and kissing him. It's wet and messy, his tongue sliding into Tommy's mouth like he's found home, and he's not entirely sure that that's not the case. His fingers rest against the pilot's jaw, his index finger trailing up until it rests against Tommy's bottom lip when they finally part, and the pilot stares down at him, his arm wrapped tightly around Evan to keep him close. They aren't covered by much more than a bed sheet, but out in the middle of Joshua Tree, they aren't exactly worried about someone coming upon them.
He curls his index finger inside, pressing the pad of it against Tommy's teeth, and the older man bites down, making Evan grin at him. Tommy growls softly before releasing the digit.
"Seriously, though," he comments. "What was it?"
Evan slides his hand down until it's resting on Tommy's chest, and he looks up as he leans up on his elbow, out at the expansive stretch of desert beyond Tommy's side of the truck bed.
"I had this day off. Well, today, I guess," he comments. "And I just-…"
Evan shakes his head, looking back down at Tommy.
"Maddie dances when she cleans. She's barely sleeping more than six hours a night, and it's interrupted sleep at that. But she still dances. And even though I know Chim is still grieving about Bobby-.."
"You all are," Tommy acknowledges. He clears his throat after a moment and swallows, attempting to keep his own emotions at bay. He doesn't hold his emotions in relation to the loss of Bobby anywhere near the weight of what he's known for weeks that Evan has been feeling.
"We all are," Evan corrects gently. Tommy nods, and after a moment, he glances back up at Evan—an acknowledgement that he's still listening. The younger man takes a breath and tilts his head slightly, his expression softening. He lets out a soft gust, half a laugh. "She dances."
"She dances," Tommy repeats, half a question and half a statement.
Evan nods, sliding his hand back up to Tommy's jaw and brushing his thumb over the pilot's bottom lip. His tongue brushes against his own lip unconsciously as he stares.
"And Chim dances with her, and even in the middle of…all of it…" He tries to find the right words to express it, to quantify the thousand words that go along with the picture he's trying to paint for Tommy, but the seem beyond him.
"They dance," Tommy repeats again, this time with understanding.
Evan nods, stroking his thumb over Tommy's lip again.
"There was this song playing, something on Maddie's playlist that was incredibly maudlin and country and girl, but this one line of it…" Evan huffs softly, and his mouth curls into a knowing smile as he looks up, Tommy's eyes meeting his. "And all I could think about was, 'when was the last time someone made me feel like dancing in the kitchen?'. 'When was the last time I felt like I'd go back and do it all over again even if it ended the same way?'"
Tommy's eyebrow raises slightly.
"Even the breakup?" he rasps. "Months of silence? The fighting?"
"Even then," Evan answers. His gaze trails down to Tommy's lips again, and he stares for a moment, quietly.
"It was the morning after, when I realized it," he murmurs as his gaze locks on the lines of the pilot's lips and he thinks about what that mouth has done to his life in the year-plus since they met. "I woke up, and my eyes had that sunken feeling, and I couldn't breathe, and my chest hurt." His gaze shifts back up to Tommy, and he sees the understanding in his expression. "And-.." Evan's eyes get shiny, but he blinks a few times quickly and takes a breath, and the weight in his chest soothes a little. "You got up and made coffee, and went and got those stupid donuts that I only eat when I'm hungover. Everything hurt, and we were broken, and you were still taking care of me, making a place that never belonged to me feel like it could maybe be home."
Tommy nods. He knows Evan is referring to when Bobby died. He'd taken him home and physically rocked him to sleep as Evan had sobbed over the loss. He'd leaned into his own coping mechanisms—tried to get Tommy to have sex with him—but the pilot had refused, and when Evan had tried to push him away, he'd still stayed.
"And then you left to go get more clothes from your house, and I told you I had to check in on everyone, a-and I did," he stammers. He gulps. "But… I kept thinking about what Bobby said when-…and what- what Josh said to me before you broke up with me, and what that all meant. And somewhere in there, in the middle of all the times I'd felt like losing you was where things started to go wrong, even though you would show up on no notice from one phone call asking for help after I'd said what I said to you the morning after we hooked up…'I love you, kid'. 'do you care for him?' 'do you think about him when he's not around' 'are his concerns your concerns?' 'is his happiness at least as important to you as yours?' 'and could you see a future there?'."
Tommy gives him a heartened smile. He can understand where the writing might've been on the wall, even if Evan hadn't realized it at the time.
"To be completely up front, I said yes to all of those questions," Evan states. "And I don't know where the hang-up was, or how it got lost in translation. I think on some level, I was afraid of what it meant, because people leave."
"And then that's exactly what I did," Tommy comments. Evan nods, and Tommy lets out a silent, wistful laugh. He gestures at the air, as though it's the point he's intending to make. "Because I've lost everyone I've ever…" His words choke off and he shakes his head, licks his lips, and bites down on them, looking back up at Evan with glassy eyes.
Evan leans back down and kisses him, soft and tender, and Tommy's arm is tight around him as his other hand curls under his chin, keeping Evan close as his lips finally part and he brushes into the younger man's mouth.
"I love you," Evan whispers when he rests his forehead against Tommy's a few moments later. "I have for so long, even though I was afraid to say it."
Tommy nods, his eyes still closed. Evan shifts his hand up to Tommy's cheek, feels the wetness of a tear run over it.
"I loved you even when I was lying to myself and convinced I could get out before it happened," he answers. "Still do now."
Evan lets out a small laugh against him, and Tommy grants a smile in response, squeezing him lightly.
"Imagine the time we could've saved if we'd just been honest."
They both laugh until it dissolves into light pecks that turn into a slow, long, real kiss, and Tommy is pulling Evan tightly against him again. The younger man slots one of his obnoxiously long legs between the pilot's, grinding slow circles until Tommy turns toward him fully and presses Evan back down into the mattress.
"What was the line in the song," he rasps in between kisses. Evan doesn't answer him, and after a few seconds, Tommy leans up, raises an eyebrow.
"What?" Evan asks. And then after a moment, "Oh.".
Tommy smirks at him. "What got so into you that you convinced me to bring you with me to Joshua Tree?"
"I might be butchering this, but, 'if I could have you in the end, I'd let you break my heart over and over again'," he recites. He feels the way Tommy gulps at his statement, leans up and nuzzles up against the pilot's nose. "Make love to me, Tommy."
Tommy's gaze goes absolutely feral at Evan's words, although there's a softness in his expression as he hitches a hand under Evan's thigh, pulling it up over his calf.
"For the rest of my life," he whispers into Evan's ear before attaching his lips to the younger man's pulse point. He rolls his hips forward, pulling a mewl from Evan's lips as he tilts his head back, giving the pilot full access.
"Over and over again," Evan rasps before letting out another soft moan, his voice cracking as Tommy's cock hits that spot inside him. He tilts his head back down as the pilot comes up to stare down at him, rolling his hips again as he meets Evan's gaze. "Over. And over. Again."
And then Tommy's lips are on his again.