Chapter Text
Winterfell 287 AC (Ninth Moon-September)
Jaime was tired. He didn’t know how else to put it other than he was just fucking tired. It had been nine moons since Balon Greyjoy’s rebellion started. Nine moons since the Iron Fleet stormed Lannisport and burnt most of their fleet down. Nine moons since his father had burned to death upon one of those docked ships. His father wasn’t even supposed to be there. It was just bad luck on Tywin’s part that he had decided to board one of the ships to discuss some business along one of their trade lines with Essos. No one had expected the attack. It wasn’t something that people thought of when they were in dock. No one thought that someone would come by and burn the ships down. But no one thought anyone was stupid enough to try and overthrow the Crown. Balon was an idiot, something everyone in the realm already knew, but none of them had ever expected he would be this level of stupid.
It appeared to be a good idea. To attack after a war. Your enemy’s numbers would be down and the men would be all exhausted. They wouldn’t put up much of a fight. And all of that would have been true, had Balon attacked after Robert’s Rebellion. Instead, Balon waited six years while everyone recovered, grew stronger, and more soldiers could be trained. Their numbers were still down, but it was nothing compared to the lack of numbers that Balon had. The Iron Born’s greatest accomplishment was their fleet, but they were useless on land. Most of them could barely sword fight. They relied on never touching the ground unless it was to reave and there was no skill required for that type of life.
If it hadn’t been for them burning the Lannister Fleet, then the West wouldn’t have gotten involved. They could have allowed for the North, The Reach and the Riverlands to handle it, but because Balon was an idiot he had made the call to drag the richest family in the realm into his sad rebellion. The result was nine moons later. Balon’s two oldest sons were dead, his fleet was decimated, thousands of his men were dead, and now his only living heir was being used as a hostage to ensure Balon didn’t try again. It’s also how Jaime found himself entering Winterfell instead of being on a ship to go back home. His King had released him from his Kingsguard vows so he could be Lord of Casterly Rock, something Jaime didn’t really know how he felt about just yet. But King Robert had ordered him to escort Ned Stark back to Winterfell where Theon Greyjoy would be spending the rest of his life.
Jaime wasn’t too certain how this was going to play out. From what he heard between Lord Stark and King Robert, the King wanted Stark to have the boy in Winterfell and to be his own warden to the seven name day old boy. Stark wasn’t too happy about it, seeing the boy as just that, a boy, and not a hostage. Jaime couldn’t help but think that Ned Stark was the worst man for the job. He wouldn’t treat the boy like a hostage and he would see him more as a ward. He would teach the boy, allow the boy to get close to his own children and the boy would most likely kill them all in their sleep one night. Jaime could have spoken up about it. He could have suggested that the boy go to King’s Landing and be as far away from the Iron Islands as possible. But the thing was, he just didn’t care.
He had been like this for the past six years. He hadn’t noticed it right away, but the more days that passed him the more he realised that he had lost all sense of life from his body. There was no happiness or joy in his heart or soul. It was something that was getting worse as the days passed. Jaime knew what it was, he knew exactly when it started. The moment he had to kill King Aerys, the man he swore an oath to protect. It was that moment when his soul began to die. Then it was discovering Princess Elia, Prince Aegon and Princess Rhaenys had all been killed. And not just killed, but brutally killed. Prince Aegon, just a babe, had been smashed into the walls and beaten to death. Princess Rhaenys had been beaten and stabbed repeatedly. As for Princess Elia, she had been beaten and raped to death. Jaime didn’t even know someone could rape someone to death. He didn’t even know they weren’t safe until the sweet Princess and Prince’s bodies were brought in front of King Robert and he laughed and cheered the death of the dragonspawns.
It was that moment where Jaime lost all faith in the Crown. Where he had lost his purpose. Where he had lost his honor. The other Kingsgaurds looked down upon him, because he had stabbed their King in the back. His father had told him to not tell people why he truly did it. That it would make him look weak if they knew he had done it because of how mad the man was. Because the man was about to ignite wildfire all throughout King’s Landing just to kill as many traitors that he could. Jaime had hoped when Prince Rhaegar left for the Trident to deal with Robert that he would return and things would get better. Prince Rhaegar had a plan for his father to get him to put the crown down. Prince Rhaegar would have been the first King that Jaime could have been proud and honored to protect and serve, but again it would never happen.
Jaime had no idea what he was going to do once he returned to The Rock. He didn’t want to be Lord. He didn’t want to be a Kingsgaurd, not to a disgusting King like Robert. He didn’t want to get married and have children. He didn’t feel ready for that and even if he did there was no one that he fancied. He knew he would have to go home and try and do something with The Rock, do something with his life, but he just didn’t know what. He didn’t know how to come back to life after feeling so dead inside. One thing Jaime did know, the cold of the North was not helping him any.
“Welcome to Winterfell, Lord Jaime.” Stark said, as they crossed through the open gates and into the keep.
Winterfell and the North was exactly as Jaime had pictured them to be. Cold, covered in snow and just grey. Everything seemed to be a shade of grey. There was no life in the towns and the places they did travel by, most were smaller and rundown. It was clear in the North they focused on keeping alive and not on their structures or their villages. Jaime couldn’t help but wonder how they made money in the North. In the West they had the mine, though from the reports he heard it was drying up so they wouldn’t have it for very long. They also had their trade deals with Essos and a few of the other smaller realms. It was something Jaime was going to have to work on because they needed more money coming in, especially to rebuild their fleet and to maybe expand. The North though, he didn’t know what they did to make money and survive.
“Thank-you, Lord Stark. I will only stay a day or two at most before I must start to make my own journey home.” Jaime said, not really wanting to be in the cold for any longer than he had to be.
“Stay as long as you need to recover, Lord Jaime.” Stark said, as he got off his horse.
“Father!” The sudden sound of a young male voice rang out and Jaime looked to see Stark bending down and scooping up a young lad that looked six name days old.
Jaime knew from the whispers and what King Robert had spoken that Stark had a bastard son around six name days old and a trueborn son that was the same age, but a few moons older. Jaime wasn’t certain, but he had a feeling this was the trueborn son based on the slightly lighter colored hair. Jaime vaguely remembered Stark mentioning that his bastard, Jon, had black hair and grey eyes. Jaime looked around the courtyard of the keep and he could see people starting to come out from wherever they were hiding. There weren’t many people here, but he suspected as much given how large the army was that marched for the King.
“Ned, thank the Seven they have brought you back home!” Lady Stark said, as she practically ran to her husband.
Jaime stood back trying not to get in the way of the lovely family reunion. He saw another very young girl, maybe two name days old being escorted by an older girl who had a decade more years on the youngest. The younger girl had long red hair and Jaime assumed she would be the spitting image of her mother when she was that age. Stark appeared to have more children than Jaime was aware of, but he couldn’t help but notice there was still one missing. The bastard. Jaime hated calling the boy that, it felt disrespectful to him. He knew what most people thought of bastards, especially in the North and some who followed the Seven very closely. Jaime knew that the Seven, those true followers and believers, would never hold a child accountable for the actions of their parents. That all children were loved in the eyes of the Mother. However, some took it too far. They believed that the sin created the child, therefore that child was born of sin and should be treated like a demon.
A child being a bastard never bothered Jaime. He never really thought much of it. They were treated differently in the West or at least at The Rock and Lannisport. His uncle had a new babe that was a bastard, Joy Hill. Jaime never considered his young cousin as a bastard though. To him she was a child and would be a lady one day. Him and his brother, uncles and aunt would make sure she got to grow up being treated just like everyone else and not being treated like she was less than everyone. He also had a nephew that was a bastard and he was currently sitting by the throne waiting until he could wear the iron crown upon his head. Jaime knew that if King’s Landing ever found out the truth, that if the King ever discovered that his wife liked to have sex with her uncle and cousins, that Joffrey wasn’t his son, he would kill them. He would do so very publicly to send a message. It was a fear that Jaime had. One day his twin sister was going to fuck the wrong cousin or uncle and she was going to get caught. It didn’t matter how many times he told her that the Kingsguard only guards the King and they would not keep her secrets, she never listened. And one day it was going to get her killed and there was nothing he could do about it.
“Catelyn, allow me to introduce you to Lord Jaime Lannister.” Stark’s voice brought Jaime out of his thoughts and he looked to see all of the Starks lined up not too far from him.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Stark.” Jaime said, as he took her offered hand.
“And you, Lord Jaime. Though, I never thought I would see you this far north.”
“The King wanted to ensure that Lord Stark and the hostage arrived safely. I’ll only be here for a couple of days. Just long enough to rest up before I make the long journey home.”
The last thing Jaime wanted was to be here for longer than he had to be. He didn’t really want to be back in Casterly Rock, but it was better than being up North or stuck in King’s Landing. If there was one good thing that came from this Rebellion, it was that he was now free to be away from his sister and the worst King in the history of Westeros. He could hide away there and hopefully never have to leave ever again. He didn’t even want to spend two days here. He wanted to turn around and leave right now, but he had to give his horse a break for at least twenty-four hours. After that though he would be gone.
“I’m sure you are exhausted after such a long journey. Heather can show you to your chambers where you can relax and get warm.” Lady Stark said with a kind smile.
Jaime merely gave a nod and followed whom he assumed was Heather through the Keep until he finally arrived at his temporary chambers. He walked in and felt the warmth within the place, even though there was no fire going. He would have to get one going before it got colder that night, but that was something he could handle shortly. For now he figured he would take a bath and then get something to eat. Within the next day he would be back on the long journey to Casterly Rock, with a quick stop at King's Landing to say he vows to the King.
XXX
It was a few hours later and Jaime had bathed and put on clean clothes. He was about to make his way down to the Great Hall for dinner. He hadn’t really looked around the Keep, mostly because he didn’t care to. Some people found the North beautiful in terms of the grey tones everywhere and the untouched white snow. To Jaime though, he didn’t care for it. He much preferred the beaches and greenery within the West. He had just turned down a hallway when he heard what sounded like Lady Stark’s voice.
“You dare lie to me?” She snapped.
“I’m not. I swear, Lady Stark, I did not break the vase.” A small male voice said and Jaime could hear the fear within the little boy’s voice.
“He’s lying, Lady Stark. I saw him pick up the vase and smash it on the ground. He’s a liar. He’s always been a liar.” Another boy’s voice chimed in, but this one sounded harsh and more self-assured.
The sound of skin hitting skin flooded Jaime’s ears and he knew someone had just gotten slapped.
“Of course he’s a liar. He’s a disgusting bastard. Nothing but the living embodiment of sin and lust. I should have thrown you from the tower window when my husband brought you home. I will not tolerate your lies. I will not tolerate you trying to corrupt the trueborn children within my home. Ser Kennieth, take this disgusting bastard and give him fifteen lashes to his bare back. One for each traitorous word he spoke. Perhaps he will finally learn not to speak unless given permission to.”
Jaime couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Ned Stark’s wife was truly going to have a boy whipped fifteen times all because of a broken vase that the other boy most definitely broke. It was disgusting. He also figured that the boy in question was Ned Stark’s bastard. He knew some viewed bastards as walking sin, which Lady Catelyn clearly believed. He couldn’t believe that anyone would whip a child, much less have a woman order it. That child was the brother of her own children, bastard or not.
“When you have finished your punishment, you will clean out all of the stalls in the stable and the kennels. You cannot spread your lies if you are too tired to speak. And you shall go three days without food. Let that be a lesson to you for trying to take for granted the good life you have here. One you do not deserve.” Lady Stark’s words were harsh and Jaime thought about stepping in and trying to defuse the situation.
The problem was he was a guest in this Keep and in the North. He also didn’t doubt for a single second that once his back was turned the boy would be getting whipped and it would be worse because he tried to step in. The last thing Jaime wanted to do was make the boy’s punishment worse. He also highly doubted that any knight would truly whip a boy. He was most likely going to get a few hits over his shirt and then lie about it to Lady Stark. That was what any knight would do. The boy, bastard or not, was just a young boy there was nothing he could do that would warrant a serious punishment, let alone a real whipping.
“Aye, Lady Stark.” The boy said without any inflection within his voice.
Jaime moved on down the hallway so he wouldn’t get caught eavesdropping. He figured he would see the boy around before he left. And even if he didn't, it really wasn’t any of his business. He was just here to ensure Lord Stark and the hostage arrived safely. He had done his last duty to King Robert and now he could go home and forget about the last six years of his life. But first he had to get through this feast.
XXX
It was hours later when Jaime finally managed to slip out of the feast. It seemed like every single woman in the place wanted to dance with him or speak with him. Even some of the men wanted to talk his ear off. Jaime was not one really for crowds. He could fake it very well, but he didn’t want to be involved with the public. Tyrion was always the one that loved a crowd and to be around people. Jaime always felt like everyone was looking at him or wanting something from him. It was very draining, especially after yet another war and a long journey. All Jaime wanted was to go home. He walked through the Keep just trying to enjoy the quiet of the night when he heard movement coming from the stalls. He knew he shouldn't be going over there. He was fairly confident that it would be Ned Stark’s bastard in the stable cleaning it out.
Jaime had found he couldn’t stop thinking about the boy. It wasn’t his place to get involved. He had no right to dictate how someone treated a child, especially one they were helping to raise. However, his mind couldn’t stop thinking about the boy. He couldn’t get his terrified voice out of his mind. He didn’t really understand it, because he had seen children being whipped and beaten before. He had seen them being punished by their parents or the guards that worked for their parents. It was common in King’s Landing especially. The higher the Lord the more cruel they could be and the higher the expectations of the children. It didn’t tend to happen in the West. They tended to view bastards a bit differently and children were often treated better. That wasn’t to say that it didn’t happen. There were parents in the West that were short tempered and horrible parents. It just wasn’t the norm. He hadn’t expected for it to be the norm in the North though and that was what Jaime figured was taking him aback. He didn’t expect Ned Stark, the most honorable man in the realm, to allow anyone to whip his own son. Bastard or not.
The pull to the stables was far too strong and Jaime walked over there and peeked inside. The boy, Jon, had his back to Jaime, but Jaime could see the blood coating the back of the boy’s tunic. Two things were made very clear to Jaime. The first, his lashes had not been treated, as Jaime could see they were still bleeding. The second, the boy had actually been whipped. A knight had stood there in front of a child and hit him with a whip across his bare back fifteen times. It made Jaime sick to even think about. What hurt the most though, was seeing the bruises and scars that Jaime could see even from a short distance away. He was covered in bruises and he was thin. Far too thin for a child half his age, much less a boy of six. The boy was being starved to death very slowly. His clothes were threadbare. He didn’t even have on a proper coat. Jaime knew northern men were built differently, but the boy was far too frail to be out in weather like this without proper protection and he suspected that the boy didn’t have that.
Jaime couldn’t help himself. He slipped away and made his way back towards the feast. He knew there would be plenty of food left. He slipped into the kitchen and grabbed some bland food, just some chicken, potatoes and bread. He put some on a plate, grabbed a fork and headed back to the boy. When he arrived this time Jon was facing the entrance and instantly Jaime could see the fear flood the boy’s body. Jaime held up his free hand in a mock surrender to let the boy know he didn’t mean him any harm. Not that he expected the boy to believe it. Jaime figured at this point, everyone seemed to want to bring the boy harm.
“Hello lad, you must be Jon. I’m Jaime Lannister.” Jaime said in a friendly tone and a warm smile. He was hoping to ease the boy’s fears a bit, but he knew it was going to take a lot of work.
Jon’s eyes instantly snapped to the ground as he bowed and spoke in the softest of voices. “My Lord, I am sorry for being in your way.”
“You aren’t in my way. I wanted to bring you some food.” Jaime offered, as he went and placed the plate down on one of the stumps that were used for sitting.
“Thank-you My Lord.” Jon said, but he didn’t make any move to stand up or even move towards the food.
Jaime could tell that Jon was too terrified to do anything wrong. To eat when he knew he wasn't allowed to eat for the next three days. The problem was, Jaime couldn’t leave Winterfell knowing that there was a little boy being starved to death. He needed to get Jon to eat at least once and now was the best time with everyone being at the feast. Jaime reached over and went to place his hands on Jon’s arms, but Jon was instantly flinching back and Jaime could see the fear radiating throughout his eyes. Jaime raised his hands up to show Jon that he meant no harm to him.
“It’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you. I just wanted you to look up at me.” Jaime gently said.
“Sorry, My Lord.” Jon said, as his eyes went down once again.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And please, stop looking down. I’m not going to hurt you or yell at you if you look at me. Let’s sit down ok? You really need to eat something.” Jaime pleaded, as he slowly moved Jon over to one of the stumps.
Jon sat down, but his whole body was rigid and Jaime couldn’t believe how terrified this young boy was. This was his home and he should feel safe here, but it was clear he would feel safer out in the woods on his own. Jaime went and sat down on his own stump, but wasn’t close by Jon. He wanted to give him some space so he could feel a bit more comfortable. He really just wanted Jon to eat.
“Do you know what a knight is?” Jaime asked.
“Yes, My Lord.” Jon answered.
“I am a knight, a former Kingsguard. That means I am an honorable man. When I give you my word, I always keep it. And I give you my word Jon Snow that I will not tell anyone what we speak of and I will not cause you any harm.” Jaime vowed. He could see that Jon was uncomfortable and still not sure about any of this. He wished he could have put him more at ease, but he suspected it would take a very long time before that would happen. Time he didn’t have to give.
Jon just gave a small nod, but he still wouldn’t make full eye contact with Jaime. He wasn’t used to adults talking to him like this. He typically only had Robb that spoke with him with any form of kindness. Jon did what he could to hide as much from Robb that he could because he didn’t want Robb to get in trouble. It was just easier to avoid everyone and keep to himself. If he stayed as small as possible then no one would see him.
“I know you are scared. But please, could you eat a bit of the food? You are much too thin.” Jaime tried with a slight plea to his voice. He was truly worried about Jon and what was happening with him. He knew Ned Stark was supposed to be honorable, and yet he was allowing his own child to be treated this way. He just didn’t understand.
Very slowly and reluctantly, Jon picked up his plate and started to take a small bite. Jaime gave him a warm smile as he spoke. “That’s a good lad. You have a lot of horses here. Do you like horses?” Jaime asked, hoping that a bit of conversation might ease some of the fear from Jon.
“Yes, My Lord.” Jon answered, as he ate some of the chicken.
“Which one do you like to ride the most?”
“I do not know how to ride, My Lord.”
“No? What about reading, writing, using a sword?” Jaime asked. It was none of his business, but he just needed to know. He didn’t know what it was about this boy, but Jaime couldn’t shake it. He just had to do something for him. He had to do something to make his life better, because he was genuinely terrified that this would be the last time he saw the boy. That this could be the very last meal the boy ever got.
Jon just shook his head no and Jaime didn’t need to ask why. He knew it was because of Catelyn and the boy being a bastard. Bastard or not, he was still a high-born child and he deserved to be educated and treated right. All children did. It broke Jaime’s heart to see this small boy just accepting his life like he deserved it. As if he did something wrong, when all that he had done was been born. Jaime was going to be speaking with Ned Stark and dealing with this. He was not going to allow for this to continue a day longer.
“It’s going to be ok, Jon. I promise.” Jaime said, because no matter what he was going to make sure this little boy was taken care of before he left. One way or another.
XXX
Jaime made his way to Ned’s solar. He was not looking forward to this conversation, but he needed to have it. He couldn’t leave knowing that Jon was going to be abused and potentially killed one day. He had seen too much death and pain towards children in the past decade. He couldn’t handle one more dead child on his conscience. He was truly hoping he could convince Ned to allow him to take the boy with him. Once he was allowed to enter, Jaime walked inside to see Ned sitting at his desk and it was clear he wasn’t too happy to be speaking with him.
“What do you want, Kingslayer?” Ned asked, not even bothering to look up at Jaime.
“I want to take Jon back to Casterly Rock with me.” Jaime said, hating hearing his moniker being used, but he was not going to show Ned Stark that it bothered him.
Ned’s head instantly snapped up and Jaime could see the anger bubbling within his eyes. He certainly did not like the idea of Jaime taking Jon anywhere, but Jaime couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he was the “Kingslayer” or if it was about Jon leaving.
“What makes you think I would ever allow someone like you to have a child, much less my bastard?” Ned practically growled.
“Perhaps because you clearly do not care if the boy lives or dies. You cannot tell me you do not know he is being starved, abused and whipped by your Lady Wife. Not even a blind man would miss it. Why not let the boy go and be somewhere with someone that wants him around?”
“A hostage you mean. I’m not about to give any Lannister someone with Stark blood. And what I or my wife do to the children is none of your business. We can punish the children any way we wish. Jon is a bastard and he will have to learn his place in this world or he won’t be in it. Now get the hell out of my Keep.” Ned seethed, as he dismissed Jaime.
“Fine, but I will be informing the King of your treatment of the boy and I will be informing every single Lord how you treat children. I am sure that will make things interesting for you and your people. When the Lords in the Reach refuse to trade with you because they do not support the abuse and torture of children. When your own Lords look down upon you. When you are no longer the honorable Ned Stark, but a man that tortures his own flesh and blood. Not to mention the lack of Lords willing to match their children with yours for a marriage.”
“Are you threatening me, Kingsayer?” Ned said with a deadly edge to his voice.
“Threats and blackmail are for cowards. No, Lord Stark, I am telling you that if I leave here without the boy, I will be taking the scenic route down to King’s Landing. And every Keep I pass I will be stopping and telling everyone what you and your wife do to children. I will get the King to sign an official creed to assign me wardship of Jon Snow. As well as, an arrest for your Lady Wife to be sentenced to the Silent Sisters for life. It won’t be hard, the King signs anything you put in front of him when he is drunk. He doesn’t even read it. The choice is yours. You can either allow me to leave alone or you will sign a binding contract that grants me full wardship of Jon Snow and complete authority to make any decisions in regards to his life until the age of majority. In turn, I will not seek any compensation for his housing and education. Which would you prefer, Lord Stark?” Jaime asked with a cocky smile.
He knew for a fact that Stark was not going to risk this news getting out. He was not going to risk losing his wife or having anyone knowing what was happening within his Keep. Jaime knew to some that he was being reckless. After all, why would you risk upsetting the Warden of the North? But for Jaime, he didn’t care. Stark was not going to march his Northern army to Casterly Rock looking for revenge. The West had no trade agreement with the North. They never interacted with each other. They didn’t care for the each other. It meant nothing to Jaime to put more animosity between him and Stark. Jaime could see that Stark was furious and he knew he would comply, because he knew that Jaime would very much do what he was threatening.
“Why would you want a Northern bastard so badly?” Ned demanded.
“That boy is being horribly abused. You might be able to look at it and not care, but I can’t. Either he comes with me willingly or I will come back and take him. Choice is yours.”
Jaime was not going to be moved from this. He was taking Jon West and keeping him safe. He was going to be giving this boy a real life. It would be the one good thing that would be able to come out of so much darkness, death and pain from both rebellions. He couldn’t save the Prince and Princess from Tywin, but he could save this one boy from his own father.
“You both will be out of my Keep in the morning.” Ned said between clenched teeth.
The last thing he wanted was for Jon to be in the West. He didn’t want him in the North, but he wanted him in a place where he could be hidden away and learn his place in the world. He would be able to send him to The Wall when he was four and ten at the latest. He was hoping to send him at just two and ten, in just six more years. Now, he was going to have to accept that Jon would be in the West until he was eight and ten, but at least he would not have to look upon the boy any longer. He would not have his sister’s betrayal walking around every day. Ned knew it might not make sense for him to hate his sister’s son so much, but he couldn’t help it. Lyanna was supposed to marry Robert. They were betrothed and she had a duty to her family to uphold her marriage. She brought dishonor to their family by leaving with Rhaegar and marrying him. And because of her selfish decision, his father and brother were both killed trying to get her back. Not to mention all of the good Northmen that died in the Rebellion. If Jon had not survived being born, it would have been better for the realm.
“Perfect.” Jaime said with a pleased smile.
Jaime went over and grabbed a piece of parchment and quill and started to write out the agreement. He wanted to make sure that Ned had no power over Jon. That he could not make any agreements on his behalf. Once he was confident it would protect Jon the most, he passed it over to Ned and after reading it, Ned signed it. Jaime collected it as he spoke.
“Would you like me to inform him?”
“I’ll do it. Get the hell out.” Ned growled.
Jaime didn’t need to wait around any longer. He had what he wanted and tomorrow he would be leaving Winterfell with Jon and that was more than he could have hoped for.
XXX
That night Jaime was on his way to his chambers when he saw Jon sneaking some food out of the kitchen. He scanned the area around him to make sure no one would catch Jon. They would be leaving in the morning, but he knew that Ned had not spoken with Jon about it yet. He was apparently going to be doing that in the morning. Jaime took comfort in knowing that this would be the very last night that Jon would spend within these walls. That he would spend terrified to go to sleep at night because he had no idea if someone was going to hurt him. The last night that he would go to bed with pains in his stomach from being hungry. Jaime followed Jon, expecting him to go back to his chambers to eat, only he headed out into the Godswoods. No one seemed to notice and it was clear he was used to sneaking in and out of the Keep. Jaime continued to follow Jon further into the woods until eventually he came to a very small cave. It was barely big enough for Jaime to fit inside of it.
He was shocked by what he saw. There in the cave was a young wolf pup that couldn’t have been more than two moons old. Jon had sat on the ground and the wolf pup came right over for the scraps of meat that Jon had collected. The sound of his steps caused both boy and wolf to look over at him and Jaime held his hands up to show he didn’t mean any harm.
“Sorry, I saw you slipping out of the Keep and I was worried about you. Who’s your little friend?” Jaime asked in a warm voice that he was hoping Jon would find comforting.
“Ghost, My Lord. I know I’m not supposed to take food or be here, but he needs to eat.” Jon said, sadly. It was clear he had been expecting Jaime to do something to cause harm to Ghost or himself.
“It’s good of you to help take care of him. Where is his mother?” Jaime asked, as he bent down so he was more on Jon’s level.
“I don’t know. I was out one night and she was just there with a pup in her mouth. She was really big. Almost the size of a horse. I thought she was gonna eat me. But she walked up to me and dropped Ghost into my hands before she left. Ghost was the only pup with her and he was so small. I had to help him.”
“Of course you did. You did the right thing by taking care of him.”
Jaime was surprised by the story. He had never heard of any animal, let alone a wolf, coming up to a human and handing their pup over. It was an odd story, but he didn’t think the boy was lying. Jaime could see the little wolf pup was pure white, but he had red eyes. He vaguely wondered if he was an albino wolf. It was possible the mother rejected the pup because of his coloring, but that didn’t explain why she would bring him to Jon and not just leave the pup on its own to die. He was small though, looked smaller than a typical pup his age. But he wasn’t too certain. He didn’t spend much time in the kennels growing up to really gauge if Ghost was average or on the smaller side. He easily trusted Jon though, which was surprising in a sense. Ghost was a wolf and they were obviously a fierce predator, but Ghost was happy to be petted and cuddled.
“When did this happen?” Jaime asked.
“A sennight ago. I know I can’t keep him, but I can get him big so he can hunt on his own.” Jon answered, but Jaime could hear how hurt he was at having to say goodbye to his little friend. Probably his only friend. Jaime knew it would be stupid, but he suspected he would need to bring the young wolf with them tomorrow. It would be good for Jon to have a companion and if trained right the wolf should be able to be tame around the family.
“You are a very kind young boy. I am glad you found Ghost and have been able to help him.” Jaime said with a kind smile.
“Thank-you, My Lord.” Jon said with a shy smile, clearly not used to being complimented or praised. It was something that Jaime was going to have to do more to help build up his confidence.
Jaime sat there and kept Jon company as he took care of Ghost. Jaime couldn’t believe how good of a young boy Jon was. He was clearly malnourished and half-starved, but he never once took a bite of any of the meat he had brought to feed Ghost. Jaime knew he had a long road to go with Jon to make sure he was healthy and in a good place. He never thought he would have any children. He had resigned to being in the Kingsguard, which meant no wife or children. He had honored his vows and he was never the type of man that liked to use brothels or sleep around. Now, he would be raising Jon and he was going to be doing it as if Jon was his son. He was going to make sure Jon grew up to be a strong and kind man. Someone that he could be proud to be. He was going to show Ned Stark exactly what he was missing out on.
XXX
Jon made his way towards his father’s solar. It was just before everyone was breaking the fast that morning and Jon knew he wouldn’t be allowed to eat, but normally he was to help clean up afterwards. He never was called to his father’s solar, so he wasn’t certain why his father wished to speak with him alone. Normally, when he did something wrong, his father had no problem yelling at him or punishing him in front of everyone in the area. Jon was worried about what all of this could be about. Once he was allowed to enter, Jon walked in, but he didn’t sit down. He knew he wasn’t supposed to sit down unless he was given permission to. Jon also kept his eyes down knowing it would upset his father if he looked at him. Jon stood there waiting to see what his father would say.
“You are to pack your things. You are leaving with Ser Jaime within the hour.” Ned started.
“Leaving, My Lord?” Jon asked, confused.
He was never allowed to go anywhere outside of the Keep. He couldn’t even go to Wintertown. He was not allowed to be viewed by other Lords. He was to stay in the background and be quiet.
“You will be going with him to Casterly Rock and living there. You will do as you are told and not disrespect what I have taught you. I expect for you to do everything you are told and serve Ser Jaime with whatever he needs. He owns you now and he will be free to punish you when you go against him or screw up. Do I make myself clear?” Ned clarified with an edge to his voice.
“Yes, My Lord.” Jon said, sadly.
He didn’t want to leave the North. He didn’t want to leave Robb, even if they almost never get any time together. Robb’s mother and their father were pretty adamant that they were to not spend time together. That Jon was underneath Robb and Robb shouldn’t lower himself down to Jon’s level. He also didn’t want to leave Ghost. Ghost wasn’t big enough to be able to hunt on his own. He wouldn’t make it. Jon had to fight to keep the tears at bay. He knew he would be punished if he cried in front of his father. Real men never cry.
“Get out of my sight.” Ned dismissed.
“Yes, My Lord.” Jon barely managed to say, before he turned around and quickly headed back to his chambers.
The second Jon arrived back in his chambers he immediately allowed the tears to fall. He went and curled up in the one corner were he kept all of his blankets that he slept on. He had not earned the right for a bed yet. He didn’t want to be a slave. He didn’t want Ghost to die. He didn’t want to be all alone in the West, but he didn’t get a choice. He had been sold by his own father to a complete stranger. He was going to be on the other side of the realm all on his own. He didn’t even know how they were going to get there. He didn’t know how to ride a horse, was he going to have to walk the whole way? Would he be tied to the horse and be forced to keep up pace with it? What would the punishments be like if he couldn’t do what Jaime wanted? He was already in pain from his last punishment, he didn’t think he could handle any more.
A sudden knock at his door caused Jon to flinch as the door opened and Jaime walked in. Jon was instantly sitting up and trying to stop the tears as he spoke.
“I’m sorry, My Lord. I did not know I was supposed to find you.”
Jaime closed the door and took a quick look around the room. it was the first time he was seeing it and it only broke his heart more. There was nothing in it. No bed, no desk, no chest for his clothes. The room was bare and yet a small boy lived in it. Jaime went over and sat down on the ground in front of Jon as he spoke in a calm and soothing voice. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. It’s ok. Can you try and take a slow, deep breath for me?”
When he saw Jon making a mad dash to his chambers, Jaime knew that Ned had finally spoken with the boy. He wanted to speak with Jon and make sure he knew that he was not in trouble and that everything would be ok. He did not expect for Jon to be reacting this way. He knew the young boy would be sad and would miss his siblings, but he had expected for him to be a bit relieved and happy about being away from all of this pain. Jon did his best to do as Jaime said and eventually his breathing was back to a more controllable level.
“That’s a good lad. Can you tell me why you are so upset? I know leaving your home can be hard, but I thought maybe you would be a bit excited about getting to travel to the West and living with me.”
“Will I be tied to your horse and forced to walk, My Lord?” Jon asked with pure terror in his voice.
“Why would I ever do that?” Jaime asked softly, now worried about what Ned had said to the poor boy.
“I heard that’s what happens with slaves. Lord Stark said you own me now. That I must do whatever you wish of me or you will punish me.”
“Bloody hell.” Jaime said with a shake of his head. He never should have allowed Ned to be the one to speak with Jon about this. “You have not been sold to me. You are not a slave. I will not be punishing you. You are my ward. Do you know what that is?”
Jon just shook his head and Jaime continued. “A ward is a child that you take on as your own. My responsibility with you is to make sure you have food, clothes, a warm place to sleep at night, proper education of a high lord, able to ride a horse and to use a sword. My duty is to make sure you grow up to be a good man, a good Lord. I will not beat you. I will not raise a hand to you. I will not allow anyone to raise a hand to you. You will never be whipped, abused, or starved ever again. You will never go to bed with hunger pain. You will never go to bed cold. You will never again be treated less than a high lordling again. By all law, you are my son now. And I am going to do everything I can to make sure you are healthy and happy.”
Jaime needed to make sure that Jon understood that he was not going to be abusing him. That he was not a slave or a servant. He was going to be treated as if he was his own son and Jaime was not going to tolerate anyone treating him less than that. He was not going to allow Jon to feel like he was less than anyone, bastard or not.
“Why, My Lord? Why would you want me?” Jon asked, as a few tears ran down his cheeks.
Jaime slowly reached out and wiped the few tears from his cheeks as he spoke. “I’ve seen two wars now. I have seen children dead. Women being raped and murdered. I have seen men being killed and I have killed men. My own father was killed at the start of this war. I have seen a lot of darkness, a lot of pain. I can’t seem to see the light anymore. I have been released from my vows as a Kingsguard and have to go home to be the Lord of Casterly Rock, something I don't particularly wish to do, but I have to. It is my duty as my father’s heir. I think we need each other. I think you need someone that will care about you and raise you right and I need something good to come from all of this death and pain. I need a reason to keep going. So I think we can help each other in that sense. We can be what the other needs. But if this is truly what you do not want, then I will go and let Lord Stark know that you will be staying here. I won’t force you.”
It would rip Jaime’s heart out if Jon decided to stay, but he would allow it. He didn’t want Jon to feel like he was being sold and had no choice in his life.
“If I leave, Ghost will die. I don’t want Ghost to die.” Jon said, sadly.
“Oh no, Ghost won’t die. He’s going to be with us.” Jaime easily said.
“Really, My Lord?” Jon asked, slightly surprised.
“Of course. Ghost is your friend, we don’t leave friends behind. I think he will like Casterly Rock. There’s plenty of animals for him to hunt and lots of woods for him to run around in. There is also the beach, he could go swimming.” Jaime said with a warm smile.
“Wolves swim?” Jon asked.
“They are excellent swimmers. I can teach you how to swim too. Just like you will be able to learn how to ride a horse and use a sword. You could even be a knight one day if that is what you wish. And you can still send letters to Robb and your siblings. You do not have to have no contact with them. We can also visit or have them visit as well.” Jaime didn’t know if Ned would ever allow it, but the option was always going to be there for Jon.
Jon liked that he would be able to still be in communication with his siblings, especially Robb. He also liked that Ghost would be with him. He was still scared to leave, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad being with Jaime in the West. It would at least be warmer and it sounded like he would be able to ride a horse and use a sword.
“I’m still sad to say goodbye, but I will go with you, My Lord.” Jon finally said.
“It’s perfectly natural for you to be sad, but soon I think you will be happy. And please, call me Jaime, ok?” Jaime asked, being hopeful that Jon would be ok with it.
“Ok.” Jon said, but it was clear to Jaime he was uncertain about it.
“Good lad. Why don't I grab us some food and I will bring in a plate for you. You can eat and pack up and I will do the same, so we can get the hell out of here.” Jaime offered with a warm smile and Jon just gave a nod.
Jaime headed out and quickly grabbed some food for the both of them before he went back to Jon’s chambers and placed the plate down on the small crate. He then headed out and started to get his things in order. He didn’t have much and he suspected that Jon didn’t either so they could still take his horse and not worry too much about the weight. Once everything was in order he went back over to Jon’s chambers and saw that he only had a very small bag that looked like he only had four things. It was something he was going to have to fix once they arrived back home.
“All set?” Jaime asked.
“Yes, My…I mean, Jaime.” Jon said with a very small smile.
Jaime gave him a proud smile as he went and grabbed Jon’s bag and they both headed out. He quickly got it situated on his horse that was all ready for them. He looked over at Jon and could see he was scanning the area to see if his family was around. Jaime hated that no one was most likely going to be coming out to say goodbye to Jon. Jaime knew that he had burned one hell of a bridge with Stark and it was going to take a long time before there would be any semblance of peace. He was really hoping that the children would be able to stay in contact.
Just when Jon let out a deep sigh and turned around so he could head out, he heard a familiar voice calling out.
“Snow!”
Jon turned around and smiled the first real smile that Jaime had seen on his face since he arrived. Robb came running over to them and handed Jon a silver wolf cloak pin as he spoke.
“So you never forget that you are pack.”
Jon took the pin as if it was worth millions of gold dragons. “This is yours.” Jon said.
“And now I will be with you whenever you wear it.” Robb responded with a smile. “Father says you are going to be going to the West. I always knew you would become a knight one day. Maybe when you are a knight, you could come back and be the head of the guards when I take over as Warden of the North.”
“You would want me to be the head of the guards?” Jon asked, surprised.
“Of course. You’re my brother, no matter what anyone says. You’re a Stark and Winterfell will always be your home. I will always be your brother and I will be here when you are ready to come back home.”
Robb’s words warmed Jaime’s heart to know that Jon at least had someone in his family on his side. That there was someone in his life that clearly loved him. The problem was that person was a six name day old boy that couldn’t do anything to prevent Jon from being abused and neglected.
“You’re my brother and one day I will be back to make sure you and our siblings are safe.” Jon promised.
Robb pulled Jon in for a hug and the boys clung to each other tightly before they pulled back.
“I love you, Little Brother.” Robb said.
“I love you, Brother.” Jon said with a smile back.
“I have to get going. Father is expecting me. Write me.”
“I promise.” Jon quickly agreed.
Robb ran off and Jon turned to look at Jaime and Jaime could see he felt lighter. “You ready to saddle up?”
“I’m riding on the horse?” Jon asked, surprised.
“Absolutely. You will sit in the front and I will sit behind you and hold the reins.” Jaime explained and Jon gave a nod.
Jaime went and grabbed Jon by the hips and easily lifted him up and onto his horse. Once Jon was situated, Jaime got up and got them both settled. He then started to head out at an easy pace so Jon would get used to it. He headed towards where Ghost would be kept and within fifteen minutes they had arrived and Jaime was getting down first before he helped to get Jon down. They both made their way to the cave and sure enough Ghost was there waiting for them.
“Guess what Ghost, we’re going to be living in Casterly Rock now. It’s all the way in the West. Jaime says there is a beach so you could swim and I can learn how to swim with you.” Jon said, as Ghost walked over to him.
Jon easily picked up the little wolf and they headed back to Jaime’s horse. “Alright, you hold onto Ghost and I will get you both up on Honor.”
Jon gave a nod and held onto Ghost good and tight as Jaime lifted them both up and got Jon back in his spot before he hopped up himself. He spoke as they started off once again.
“I will go slow at first until you both are used to being on Honor and then I’ll pick up the pace. We are going to head to White Harbour where we will sail to King’s Landing. We’ll spend a few days in King’s Landing before sailing to Lannisport and then we will ride to Casterly Rock. Sound good?”
“Perfect.” Jon said, as he smiled at how amazing it felt to be riding a horse. He couldn’t wait until he could learn how to do it himself and go fast.
Jon didn’t know what to expect from his life now that he would not be in the North, but he was hoping it would allow him to bring honor to his name and maybe one day he would be able to be reunited with his siblings.