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“No,” Neil said.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” Nicky pouted.
Neil briefly considered simply walking out, but the Foxes had just won the final qualifying game that got them into the championships, and he couldn’t skip the afterparty without being lectured on “team spirit”. Though he didn’t think that his teammates were exhibiting “team spirit” by constantly trying to get him to go on dates with people he wasn’t interested in.
“You want to set me up with some guy from the track team who can’t shut up about how impressive his seven minute mile is and doesn’t believe that I can run as far in half the time, or a girl from your class who’ll spend the entire conversation asking personal questions, or yet another cheerleader who-”
Nicky winced, and Allison sighed. “Don’t be so dramatic, Neil. Okay, Ryan was a mistake, but Jennie really wasn’t that bad. Someone could ask you your favorite color and you’d think it was a personal question.”
“And this one is different!” Nicky added. “He’s even less chatty than you, so you don’t have to worry about him talking your ear off. You two can just sit and brood in silence together until you fall in love or something.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Neil said. “I’ve told you a million times-”
“Yeah, yeah, you don’t swing.” Allison waved that away. “You didn’t even have the chance to try for the past nineteen years. We just want you to be happy. Can you at least meet him?”
Before Neil could respond, Matt rushed in and announced, “He’s here!”
Neil groaned internally. He knew that his friends had good intentions, but he didn’t understand why they wouldn’t just listen to him. If they truly wanted him to be happy, why couldn’t they accept that setting him up on dates against his will was doing the opposite? Knowing that Nicky picked this guy made it worse; Nicky’s attempts were always the most annoying. He’d talk someone up like they were his best friend only for Neil to find out that it was Nicky’s barista’s brother’s fiancé’s neighbor’s classmate who Nicky had only met once. At least the other Foxes vetted their picks before throwing them at Neil.
He supposed he could get them to stop if he told them he was already in a relationship, but he wasn’t sure if that was true. He’d been meeting Andrew on rooftops or in abandoned parking lots every night for a few months now, and most of those meetings ended with them making out, but Andrew had never clarified what exactly they were, and Neil didn’t particularly care to label it either.
The Foxes knew of Andrew, since Andrew’s brother and cousin were both on the team, but they hadn’t met Andrew because he never bothered to come to their games or afterparties. As far as they knew, Neil didn’t know Andrew either. Neil didn’t really care whether anyone else knew about them, but he wasn’t sure if Andrew wanted to keep it private, and he wouldn’t risk breaking Andrew’s trust, even if it would get the Foxes to stop badgering him about dating.
But maybe that wasn’t the only way to get them to stop. Allison clearly didn’t believe him about how badly the previous set-ups had gone. If Neil could make this catastrophic enough, maybe they’d get the message. Neil almost pitied the poor guy Nicky had chosen for him, but some sacrifices must be made. The worst the stranger would get was a bad date story to tell at parties.
Neil had barely decided his course of action when he saw him. Golden eyes that Neil could get lost in for hours, blond hair that Neil loved running his fingers through, blank expression that hid the most fascinating person Neil had ever met. Andrew.
Nicky was introducing them, each word going in one ear and out the other, and Neil’s world narrowed in on Andrew as everything else became white noise. Andrew looked bored as ever, but Neil had gotten good at reading his expressions, and he recognized the hint of amusement.
Andrew would never willingly go to one of these parties; he always said he couldn’t think of anything duller than Exy. Andrew would also never go along with Nicky’s attempts to get him a date. When he and Neil first met, one of the things they had bonded over was complaining about Nicky’s incessant need to see them both in relationships. Also, while they had never talked about whether they were exclusive, Neil didn’t think Andrew was actively searching for another partner. So, if Andrew didn’t come here in a genuine effort to find a date, he must’ve known Nicky was trying to set him up with Neil and seen the potential for an entertaining evening. Entertaining meaning chaotic, as Andrew was an instigator at heart. It was yet another thing that made him so compatible with Neil.
Neil supposed Nicky must’ve gotten so desperate to get his stubborn, antisocial cousin and stubborn, antisocial teammate to find love that he’d decided to throw them at each other in a last-ditch effort. Neil was glad he’d met Andrew months earlier, because if they had met as a result of Nicky’s meddling, they’d probably both have ignored the other out of pure spite.
Well, Neil had been planning on causing a scene anyway. No reason to change direction now. So Neil glared at Andrew, pointed an accusing finger at him, and yelled, “Fuck you, asshole!”
Those had been the first words Neil had spoken to Andrew, and Andrew clearly recognized them.
The other Foxes, of course, did not, their faces awash in horror. Nicky began to apologize to Andrew on Neil’s behalf, while Allison asked, “What the fuck, Neil?”
“You stole my Exy racquet!” Neil said. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to find where you hid it? I almost missed night practice because of you!” Not his most creative lie, but he wanted to keep the story believable enough. This wouldn’t work if the Foxes realized he was making things up to teach them a lesson.
Andrew cocked his head. “Only because you keyed my car.”
Not the direction he expected Andrew to go, but it added a layer of realism. Neil had bought Andrew a Maserati about a month ago after someone who couldn’t take a no scratched up his old car, and as far as Neil knew, Andrew had never told his family how his old car had gotten damaged; last Neil checked, the running theory was aliens. Andrew had supposedly delivered that decree while eating ice cream with a soup ladle. “It’s not my fault that you had the same car as my English teacher!”
“Why would your teacher’s car be in the student dorm parking lot?”
“I offered to pay you back, didn’t I?” Neil crossed his arms in indignation.
“You thought a car cost a few hundred dollars.” Andrew gave him that look that said, you are the most stupid person I have ever met. When directed at Neil, it also tended to mean, shut up and kiss me. Despite knowing it was only an act in this specific instance, he still felt a tingle of anticipation rush down his spine, and he suddenly really wanted to sneak out of the party with Andrew to explore that second option.
“An old scratched-up car like yours?” Neil tilted his head. “Yes, actually. I might’ve even been overpaying you.”
“It wasn’t scratched up before you keyed it.” Andrew must’ve agreed with Neil about wanting to leave, because he started to reach for his armband. Neil knew Andrew wasn’t actually planning on stabbing him, but Nicky did not, and before Andrew could do more than take out his knife, Nicky stepped between them, cutting their show short. Aaron, returning from the bathroom, walked through the door, took one look at what was going on, and walked straight back out without a word.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Nicky held his hands up in surrender. “You promised you wouldn’t stab anyone tonight!”
“Did I?” Andrew twirled the knife in between his fingers, a trick Neil had shown him.
“Andrew.” Nicky slowly held his hand out for the knife. Andrew didn’t give it to him.
“Try and stab me, you coward!” Neil yelled.
“Neil.” Nicky looked on the verge of begging.
“Not in front of so many witnesses,” Andrew said, ignoring Nicky’s pleas. “Maybe I’ll push you off the roof tonight instead. Make it look like a suicide.”
“The way a body lands on the ground after being pushed is different from how it lands when the victim jumped.” Neil catalogued the petrified faces of the people around him and took it as a sign to continue. “A death in a car crash or a hanging is much easier to fake, if you don’t want people to know I was murdered.”
“Don’t give him tips on how to kill you!” Dan scolded, and Matt began to pull Neil away from the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Neil saw Nicky still trying in vain to get Andrew to give him the knife.
. . .
Neil sat on the roof of Andrew’s dorm building, dangling his legs off the edge, when he heard footsteps behind him.
“Are you here to push me off?” Neil asked casually.
“Still deciding,” Andrew said. “Might try a more creative method.”
“Well, if you’re going to kill me, can I get a kiss before I dramatically die in your arms?”
Andrew gave Neil that look again. Now that they weren’t at the party, Neil could finally do what he’d been wanting ever since he’d seen Andrew walk in after the game. He leaned in slowly, letting Andrew arrange their bodies how he liked. Tonight, he put one of Neil’s hands in his hair and held the other one with his own. Andrew slid his other hand onto Neil’s neck and closed the distance.
Neil wasn’t sure how long they kissed; time tended to blur when he was with Andrew. As far as he was concerned, time could be passing backwards and he wouldn’t notice, safe and happy in their bubble. Eventually they stopped, and Neil rested his head in the crook of Andrew’s neck. Andrew’s arms went up around him.
“Thank you for playing along,” Neil murmured into Andrew’s skin. “I doubt they’ll try setting me up again anytime soon.”
“Why didn’t you just tell them you were in a relationship?” Andrew asked. “I’m sure that would’ve stopped them much sooner.”
Neil blinked. “We’re in a relationship?”
Andrew sighed, and Neil wondered if Andrew was making that same look again. He considered moving his head to find out, but he was warm and comfortable in Andrew’s arms.
“We’re in a relationship,” Neil repeated, this time a statement and not a question. He liked the sound of that. Did that mean Nicky had gotten it right, in a way, since Neil was happier in a relationship with Andrew than he’d ever been before?
Then again, Neil and Andrew had gotten there without Nicky’s help, so Neil didn’t have to admit defeat.
“You still don’t get to call me your boyfriend,” Andrew said.
“My partner?”
“Shut up.”
“My other half?”
“Absolutely not.”
“My significant other?”
“Neil.”
“My lover?”
Andrew kissed him into silence.