Chapter Text
Unknown place, Edmund Pevensie.
The white emptiness was all that his eyes could see as soon as he woke up, but the young man had no idea where he could be. His head was a mess at that moment, his mind lost in a tangle of memories, confusing what had happened years ago with what had led him to this situation. It took minutes, hours, for him to fully gather himself, but he clearly remembered his name… Edmund Pevensie. And his noble title in another world, distant yet close at the same time; King Edmund… the Just.
Somehow, he knew he had died. All that was in his head now was a derailed train. And then, nothing but darkness. Narnia's friends had failed in their mission.
It was impossible to survive such an accident, yet a part of him still felt alive. In that white emptiness, an infinity of snow surrounded him in every direction he looked. For the first time in many years, he felt completely alone, a feeling that drowned his heart. No Peter, no his cousin Eustace, no his little sister… Lucy.
"Lucy!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, after getting to his feet with all his strength. "Lucy! Sister, where are you?"
Edmund's heart shrank with fear. Peter and he could defend themselves alone, they were very good fighters. Oreius the centaur's lessons with the sword, shield, spear, and axe had forged their bodies for battle at a very young age. His sister was very brave, that he would never doubt. But Lucy… she was his little sister. He had to find her and protect her, because it was his duty as her older brother, in addition to the affection he felt for her. Fear clouded his vision, and he started running all over the place, shouting with all his strength his sister's name, and his older brother's.
"Peter, Eustace! Where are you?"
If he found Peter, it would be easier to find Lucy. Peter would know what to do. Or his young cousin Eustace Scrubb, he could help too. Something inside him screamed this.
His mind wandered, until finally, after what felt like an eternity of running, he heard a deafening roar behind him that made him fall to his knees in shock. And his heart was filled with one single feeling, not fear, nor panic, but hope and courage. He would always recognize that tone, in any world he had traveled to. He turned around with tears in his eyes, his heart calmer, largely freed from the weight of anguish.
Upon seeing the golden mane and the eyes the color of molten gold, his heart found peace for a moment. The majestic lion approached him with slow steps, closing the distance between him and the boy. He was as enormous as he remembered, Aslan stood with majesty above everything Edmund had ever seen in his life.
"Edmund Pevensie." The voice of that being was something that could make him cry. Remembering past times, when he, along with his siblings, were kings of Narnia, from Cair Paravel. "Lucy is fine. Peter too, and your cousin Eustace and his friend. Professor Kirke and his companion, too. They are safe, boy."
"Aslan." Edmund moved closer and embraced the giant head of the feline, while his eyes kept shedding those tears of released anguish. The lion had been his guide in childhood, when at the age of 9, he first entered Narnia. Edmund had been a child who made many mistakes after changing homes and schools because of the damned war, and he had been cruel, abusive, and deceitful, especially with his sister Lucy.
He was the one who let himself be deceived by Jadis, the White Witch. And he betrayed his siblings, something he would regret for the rest of his life. All for the price of some Turkish delights.
He had betrayed Mr. Tumnus for those sweets, and Aslan died on the Stone Table because of him.
"She has renounced his right over the blood of Adam's son." Edmund remembered how the lion had spoken in camp, secretly exchanging his life for Edmund's. Giving his life to the White Witch herself for a traitor's life.
And all because he had been a foolish boy with delusions of grandeur. Yet, Aslan had forgiven him, welcomed him into his camp, and accepted him as one of his army.
He participated in the Battle of Beruna, where he defeated dwarfs, devils, wolves, harpies, werewolves, and minotaurs. And he also attacked and broke the Witch's wand, preventing her from using it against other living beings, though that also caused Jadis to wound him mortally with the edge of the broken wand. But Lucy managed to heal him with the fire-flower potion, and he survived. And for 15 long years, he ruled alongside his siblings from Cair Paravel, on the shores of the Eastern Sea.
"You've been afraid, boy, but it's all right. I'm always with you, Edmund, don't worry, nothing can hurt you anymore." Aslan spoke again. Every word was a balm to Edmund's troubled heart, at least until he continued listening to the great lion, who spoke with sadness. "You have died, boy."
Aslan had confirmed the news that, somehow, Edmund already knew. It was then that the memories became clearer. Edmund was at the platform at the station with his family and the other Narnia friends. A catastrophe had occurred, the train machinery derailed, and in the midst of the accident, he had tried to protect his little sister. He had almost grabbed Lucy by the arm before feeling the train crush him against the wall, but a second before that, he had heard Peter and his cousin Eustace's terrified screams. Then, the white emptiness.
"But if I'm dead, then… Peter, Lucy…"
The lion nodded with a sad look.
"They have also passed away. Everyone who was with you, including your parents, Edmund. At least, you have died in your world, but the journey does not end here. Death is another path that all must travel. Your siblings will go to Narnia again. To true Narnia, to my country, where the beavers, Tumnus, Caspian, and Reepicheep await. They will go to true Narnia, to the immaculate Narnia. But not you, not yet."
Edmund was surprised by what the lion had said. For a moment, he felt blessed. His siblings would be fine in Narnia, but… what Aslan had said excluded him. Why? He had so many questions to ask.
"Peter, Lucy, Eustace, Jill… Professor Kirke and Polly. They will all go to the paradise that is my land, for they owe no debts to anyone, not even to themselves. But not you, Edmund. You were forgiven for the mistakes of the past. I forgave you, we had our talk about repentance, and yet, you have not been able to forgive yourself. Many years later, you still can't forgive yourself now. I see inside you, that you feel no love for yourself. Only contempt, shame, and false pride. All the love that emanates from your being is directed toward your family, Edmund."
Edmund looked Aslan in the eyes, and understood that the lion was scrutinizing his soul, as if it were an open book. He tried to speak, but the words died in his throat, and the tears he had stopped shedding before began to flow again.
"I'm not worthy of you. I never was." Edmund spoke with a broken voice, starting to sniffle. He looked pathetic to his own eyes; if they placed a mirror in front of him, he could see his reflection.
"Don't you ever dare say that, Edmund Pevensie. Because it is not true."
At Aslan's words and tone of voice, Edmund felt fear. He felt miserable, like never before.
"Don't be afraid, boy. I would never hurt you…"
Aslan let the young adult cry until he could calm down a bit.
"I see the love you feel for your sisters and brother. For your cousin, for your parents. And for the creatures of Narnia. Edmund, you are a good man who has made mistakes… Look up, son of Adam."
Edmund obeyed. He raised his gaze, finding the lion's golden eyes. The human's eyes were red from crying.
"Certainly, I will not let you enter true Narnia until you learn to love yourself instead of feeding on self-loathing. But I also cannot return you to Earth, and it is not my wish to leave you alone in this white emptiness, Edmund." Aslan roared softly, the warm air ruffling Edmund's dark hair. "So what I will do is offer you an alternative to this white world. There are other worlds apart from yours and mine, Edmund. Creation is vast. As wide as the heavens, and in one of those worlds, you could begin a new life, with new opportunities, not as a trial, but so you can learn to love yourself. So you can see your own virtues." The lion paused for a moment before continuing.
"There is one world in particular that needs to be saved from eternal winter. Something even worse than the White Witch and her 100 years of winter, for the victory of the Others will lead their world to one fate, eternal and unfathomable cold. A world that, although it shares some elements with Narnia, is not at all the place where you once ruled. It's a place with honorable and treacherous people alike, full of those with boundless ambition, tyrants, and lone heroes. A world where most dance to the tune of the power game, though they call it the game of thrones. But it is your choice, Edmund, I will not force you to accept this fate if you do not wish it."
Edmund stood still when he heard the alternative. It sounded like an extremely dangerous mission, and he found fear in his heart. But alongside that fear, there were also doubts.
"Will I be able to see my siblings again?" Edmund asked. Aslan nodded.
"You will see them right away, and you will be able to talk and say goodbye to them if that helps you decide." Aslan nodded again before roaring so bravely that Edmund felt as if the white void was tearing around him... as if thunder and lightning were exploding around him. He closed his eyes and covered his ears. All of this happened in just a few seconds.
"When are you going to grow up a bit, Ed?" Peter's voice made him open his eyes. That was when the reunion happened. There, in front of him, were his loved ones. At least those who had passed away in the train accident, for Susan was not present. Lucy was there, as well as Eustace and their parents. Edmund stood up to embrace them all, and the group closed in around him. He told them how much he loved them, all of them. His family, even Eustace, although he could sometimes be an unbearable cousin, was still his cousin.
"I'm scared, and I have doubts... I don't know what to decide," Edmund confessed, shedding what little pride he had left. Peter placed his hand on his shoulder, confidently.
"Whatever happens, you're my brother, Ed. Never doubt that. We love you, just as you love us."
"That's right! Peter's right." Lucy's voice, that of a 16-year-old teenager, rang with joy. "Even though you don't like it, he's right about that. Edmund, we love you. Not just because you're our brother, but because you're a good person. And that's the truth, even if you can't see it yourself." Lucy came closer to Edmund and hugged him.
And Edmund responded, before Lucy went to Aslan. "Besides, Aslan called you King Edmund, the Just. Because you learned from your failures and never made the same mistakes again, and you ruled with justice, didn't you?"
They were the two most important people in his life. Lucy and Peter. They were his siblings, and they were talking to him about virtues he didn't believe he had but that they saw in him.
"That's true, cousin. Besides, you're also the one who taught me to be brave, less annoying, and less unfriendly. Well, also Reepicheep taught me that... Extraordinary things only happen to extraordinary people, Edmund. Maybe I should talk to Lucy about this; she's more open than you." A childish smile appeared on Eustace Scrubb's face, but Edmund didn't return the joke. In his eyes, he could see that Eustace was sad about having died. But he also saw the joy of going to Narnia again and being with his mouse friend. A mouse who had taught a boy to grow and become a man, even though he had also turned into a dragon during the adventure. Edmund remembered that adventure with a smile.
They talked for several hours, managing to calm some of the anxiety that was creeping inside Edmund, as he was able to talk to everyone. He asked for advice from his parents and Peter and received encouragement from Lucy and Eustace. So, when it was time to say goodbye and they all departed, Edmund was left once again alone with Aslan.
"Do you feel better, boy?"
"To be honest, yes. I feel... liberated from much of the weight I carried inside. My chest feels light, airy, but..."
"But?" Aslan kept his serene and calm gaze, as if he knew what was running through the boy's mind. Edmund stopped looking at him and turned his gaze to his right.
"I'm still afraid. The world you spoke of seems miserable, and without any possible salvation, like... like me."
"Don't say that, boy." said Aslan, approaching the son of Adam once more. "It's okay to be afraid, but that doesn't mean you or that world are beyond saving."
Edmund nodded slightly and opened his mouth to ask the questions he had about that world. He had decided in his heart that he would travel to that kind of opportunity, not just to save himself, but to help others. But Aslan interrupted him.
"You'll have to learn about the world you're going to from a child. Because there, you'll have a new life, starting from conception itself. I can give you little information, Edmund, since you must make this journey on your own. Not for anyone else, not even for me. Go to that world, live, progress, make friends, and grow your family. Protect the world, your loved ones, and the new family you will have there. Keep Peter, Lucy, Susan, Eustace, and your parents in your heart, and treasure your memories. You'll have a new name, a new body, and a life and family completely different from Narnia or your world, though you are going to a medieval place with people riding dragons, I advise you to act wisely." When he heard all of this, Edmund was stunned. A new family? As if he could have another brother to admire like Peter, or a sister whose mind was as sharp as Susan's or as curious and sincere-hearted as Lucy's.
And on top of all that, dragons? His cousin had turned into a dragon, but still retained human intelligence. A wild dragon would be dangerous, but one tamed by someone with great ambition and thirst for power would be the equivalent of America's atomic bombs used in the war. And Aslan was going to send him to a place like that?
That could be considered the very Purgatory itself.
"But Aslan... The place you're talking about is..." Edmund was feeling better than before. But that didn't stop the new doubts and fears he had just heard from arising—doubts and fears he hadn't had before. The lion seemed to smile before interrupting him again.
"Don't think I'll send you to an unknown world with nothing, Edmund," said the magnificent lion, giving a slight nod. Edmund understood the message and looked behind him, over his shoulder. He heard bells, reindeer, and saw a man dressed in red, chubby and smiling, with a characteristic snow-white beard that reached his chest. It was Father Christmas, also known as Santa Claus. Or Saint Nicholas... he couldn't remember how to refer to him.
"I've finally arrived, little Edmund." The man smiled and also tilted his head in a bow. "Aslan. I have brought what you asked for." Edmund remained silent, still, in the solemn and peaceful presence of the man in red. Eight brown reindeer made their bells jingling, and the sleigh was enormous, with an equally large sack, filled with all kinds of gifts.
The man turned and effortlessly unloaded the massive load from the sleigh, as if its weight were that of a feather. "I remember it was a long time ago when I gave your siblings their gifts, at the end of the White Witch's winter." He began pulling things out of the sack. New, shiny toys made of carved wood, music boxes with handcrafted details, along with cakes, crepes, and other typical Christmas glazes. "You gave hope to Narnia, though I don't recall giving you a gift, young Edmund. Come, step closer."
Edmund hesitated for a moment, but Aslan gently pushed him from behind with his paw. Edmund stumbled but regained his balance. He felt nervous and swallowed. Father Christmas then pulled out three objects from the sack. Three gifts that he recognized perfectly.
"Your siblings used their gifts wisely, Edmund. Now, it's your turn to use them. Remember, they are tools, not toys." He handed him the glass jar shaped like an apple, with a golden lion-shaped cork, filled to the brim with red liquid. The red leather pouch wrapped around the jar, and it could be fastened to a belt.
"You know this well. The fireflower liquid, capable of healing any wound or illness, even those on the brink of death. I don't know if where you're going you'll find any fireflowers, so use it wisely, as you have limited uses. It's not a drink, it's a medicine. I hope you make good use of it." Then, Father Christmas handed him the vial, and in his hand now rested another object.
The horn was white, made of pure ivory, with a golden detail around the mouthpiece, and the wide opening was shaped like a lion's head. "Blow this horn in times of need, and wherever you are, someone, human or beast, will come to your aid." Edmund silently and solemnly placed both objects into his hands before receiving the last gift. The one he knew best, as he himself had wielded it more than once.
"Your brother doesn't need it where he's going, Edmund. But in a world of constant war, it's good to have in your hands a weapon of great quality. The time will come when you'll have to wield it, in defense of what is right, of your own life, or the life of others. Rhindon, the sword of King Peter the Magnificent." Edmund took the sword the man handed him. The scabbard was lined with goat leather, the hilt was gold with a lion's head design, a golden ring separated the handle into two halves, covered in red fabric, and the blade's edge gleamed like silver.
It was the sword Peter used in the first battle of Beruna and later as a king, and even later in the second battle of Beruna. It had remained for a thousand years in Cair Paravel, and even in Caspian's time, it had neither rusted nor lost its edge. And despite the passing years, it was perfectly sized for either Peter or Edmund to wield, as if it grew with them, adapting to their size. A sword that made the Telmarines' steel swords look like toys, with ancient Narnian prayers of hope engraved along its sides.
"When Aslan bares his teeth, winter meets its death."
"When Aslan Shakes His Mane, We Shall Have Spring Again."
Edmund looked at the lion and the man with the gifts, his blue eyes full of gratitude. Unable to speak, his cheeks were stained with the marks of the tears that had coursed down his skin. Aslan didn't need to hear words to know that young Edmund was truly grateful for this new chance and these precious gifts. Father Christmas started laughing, shaking his white beard and showing his rosy cheeks.
"I've lived through thousands of Christmases, and I always see the same faces. Some may grow and turn into grumpy adults, but the magic of receiving a sincere gift and being heartily thankful for it never dies." It was the last thing the man said as he petted one of his reindeer.
"Edmund, before you go, remember that there are good and bad people where you're going. But there are also many who are simply in between, somewhere between the two. It's a world of grays, Edmund. You must learn to distinguish which gray is closer to white or black."
Aslan positioned himself before roaring at Edmund. A warm breath surrounded the boy, who was still holding the sheathed sword with both hands. He felt the heat seep into his being, his body, and his soul. He closed his eyes because of the power of that breath. "Count on my courage, son of Adam. Always, wherever you are, remember that I am walking by your side." The voice was still strong, but Edmund felt it starting to fade. Also, he felt himself being pulled somewhere. Through space and time, in a very different way than when he passed through the wardrobe at Professor Kirke's house.
He opened his eyes, and Aslan was gone. Neither Father Christmas nor his reindeer were there. He was alone again, in a black void, and he was immobile. Also, he felt that he no longer had Father Christmas' gifts with him. Though his mind was threatened by the terror of being alone once more and having nothing to defend himself, his heart and faith shone with the warmth of Aslan's breath and the love he had for his family and friends. He tried to breathe, tried to open his mouth. And though he couldn't do any of that, something inside him eventually calmed him.
"Rest, Son of Adam." He could hear it in his mind, and he decided to obey. He closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.