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Akira’s eyes are empty when he looks at his phone. It's wrong. He is not meant to look like this. If Goro ever gets his hands on who is turning his boyfriend into this shell of himself, he will crush them, ruin them, make them regret for ever-
Akira takes a shuddering breath, types something and then keeps holding his phone in a tight grip. His entire body is so tense that it hurts to look at.
“I wonder why they can't love me.” Akira mumbles. Goro doesn't know if he meant to even say that. It's vague but Goro knows who this is about, having been with Akira for long enough that he has been there when he has fallen apart over it before. He used to be so envious of Akira, for seemingly having everything Goro had been denied of but their pain is the same really. He knows too well what it is like to be unwanted, to be abandoned by everyone who is meant to take care of you.
“They're nothing but trash.” Goro says coldly, earning the faintest smile from Akira before his expression falls again. Goro wishes he was better at comforting someone. All he can do is sit next to Akira, making sure he knows he isn't alone.
“I used to think my family was normal. That it was all fine and that my parents loved me even if they never really showed it. That I was just too needy when I was hoping they'd tell me they love me.” Akira hugs his knees to his chest, making himself as small as he feels. Goro hates it. Someone as bright as him should never be made to feel so insignificant. “I don't even remember if they ever told me that or the last time they hugged me. And still I thought we're a normal family. I feel so stupid for not realizing sooner that they don't care about me at all. They never hit me and I always had food and a bed so I- I shouldn’t be so ungrateful and whine about this and-”
“If you are going to apologize to me because you think I've had it worse, stop speaking right now.” Goro interrupts him. “I don't want your pity.”
Akira doesn't say anything to that. They've had this talk before and Goro refuses to let Akira minimize his own suffering and compare it to his own.
A warm weight falls against Goro's shoulder. It's Akira slumping against him, his head resting on his shoulder and his hair tickling his neck.
“All they do is text me about the most pointless things like the weather but nothing which matters. They never call or want to see me in person and ignore it whenever I bring it up. It's.. pathetic that I still want to see them, right?”
“It's not pathetic.” Goro argues, putting an arm around Akira to hold him closer. A sigh leaves Akira's lips and leans more into Goro. Goro used to not care for physical contact - because it had been so alien to him and he hadn't even realized how touch-starved he had been. Since being in a relationship with Akira it has changed and now he knows how comforting touch can be - for both of them really.
“They never even ask how I'm doing. And even when I was younger, they just- they always ignored me when I was feeling bad. Even when I cried, they ignored it and pretended it never happened. I shouldn't expect anything from them, but I.. I still..”
“You still hope one day you won't be unwanted anymore and that they will love you.” Goro finishes his thought easily because this is a pain they share. It's a kind of hurt you can only understand if you experienced it yourself. There will always be a hole in his chest, a hollow and cold feeling where the warmth of a family loving him should be. He knows it's the same for Akira.
“Mhm.” Akira doesn't reply more than that. There is no need to because they understand each other.
“They don't deserve you. They're worthless pieces of shit and if the metaverse was still around, I'd happily tear their disgusting shadows apart.” Goro says, venom seeping into every word. He isn't nice like Akira and the comfort he can offer is more often than not accompanied by anger. Never aimed at Akira but at the people who neglect him. Akira told him more than once that he likes his anger - that it's charming and that he actually does find it sweet when Goro is mad on his behalf.
“You looked hot when you were killing shadows back then.” Goro can hear the smile when Akira speaks and rolls his eyes fondly. There really is something wrong with him that he is attracted to that part of Goro - he supposes it's why they're such a good match. They both wear a mask to hide their pain and desperate wish to be wanted and needed and they find comfort in tearing each other's mask off to see the real versions of each other, all ugly parts they hide included.
“This is why everyone tells you you have bad taste.”
Akira lifts his head, a playful grin on his lips, and he kisses Goro's cheek. Goro is glad that he has recovered and no longer looks so defeated. “Everyone else is boring and they wouldn't know good taste if it punched them in the face.”
“Sap.” Goro says, rolling his eyes again.
The amusement in Akira's face vanishes eventually, replaced by such a sincere gratefulness and love that Goro feels the urge to look away because it's so blinding but he doesn't. Akira's love for him is so bright and loud that he still doesn't know what he has done to deserve it, but he is greedy and wants it all.
“Thank you.” Akira says softly, looking at him like he is the most precious person in the world to him.
“It's nothing.” Goro tries to dismiss him, but Akira is as stubborn as he is and doesn't let him.
“That's not true. It means a lot that you understand what it’s like.” Akira rests his forehead against Goro's. The touch is so sickly affectionate that it makes Goro's heart clench and he closes his eyes to wallow in it.
“I love you.” Akira whispers.
Goro doesn't hesitate, mumbling an “I love you too” back.