Chapter Text
In the beginning, there was a curious lack of Megatron. At least from his current perspective, where millions of years had been stamped by the Decepticon insignia, a time without the once gladiator and poet seemed unimaginable. Before Soundwave met his oldest Mini-Con, he couldn’t have imagined how it felt to not be alone. Nowadays, he was usually never on his own, be it by virtue of Laserbeak or Megatron.
He had grown used to not feeling alone.
The lack of expression to others, showing them his capabilities, holding conversation and establishing a better world used to not bother him. But that was then, and this is now. Much had changed, not just in his circumstances, but also in Soundwave himself.
He ruminated on those thought while carefully applying clamps to various small Energon lines int the tiny body before him. Light came from the left wing of the body, where the metal was carefully shifted into the correct positions, in order to test whether the clamps would hold. This step was crucial in checking the durability of the self-repair supports.
When no noticeable creaks sounded, and nothing broke off or collapsed, he vented in relative relief. How long Laserbeak would agree to resting, and how long Megatron would permit her so, still worried him.
The Third-in-Command placed his symbiont on her resting place, and commenced clean-up.
When he had bridged back to the mess hall, snatching up a ration for both himself and Laserbeak, he had carefully avoided Megatron’s path. He’d continued to ignore his leader, while the large mech had politely (as polite as a warlord can be) knocked on his hab door. When the ringing of metal on metal stopped, he’d commenced the little operation he just now finished.
Soundwave did not want to think of the soon-to-come confrontation with his old friend. He instead carefully reconsidered the data-work he had left behind. He sorted it into categories of necessity, prioritizing the ones about managing the crew’s Energon supplication. Busywork to keep his processor of the more glaring issues. After all this time, he still wasn’t able to push his own tendency to navigate around conflict down. Perhaps that was reason for his current situation.
When all tools had been put away, dangerous substances cleaned off of multiple surfaces, and his own servos cleaned thoroughly, Soundwave lowered himself to the floor, back of his helm moving to rest just under Laserbeak’s left aileron. Allowing himself this rest was already improving his emotional mindset, not only because the reason of his prior worry was safe now, but also because he desperately needed a break. Time off was time off, no matter how brief.
The ex-gladiator really should get up and face his problems, but he did not want to.
Was this the consequence of not being lonely? Or is it in fact the opposite? Could he still count Megatron as his companion, seeing as he did not have his best interest at heart? What to do, how to decide? Was it even fair to Megatron to weigh his personal well-being against his leaders’ responsibility for his troops? Was Soundwave just being dramatic?
With this mindset, the high-altitude surveillance drone sagged together. Resting his weight against the surface at his back. Not unlike the rest he used to take as a gladiator in between matches but also not unlike the rest where conversations speaking of revolution took place.
Perhaps he needed this rest, to find the most optimal course of future action. A thorough investigation and analysis was required.
Soundwave still hadn’t spoken to Megatron.
Surprisingly enough, Megatron also hadn’t approached him, despite the fact that Soundwave clearly relayed his course of action when heading out to rescue Laserbeak.
Privately, Soundwave thought it best the incident remained unmentioned. Afterall, he had not yet been able to ascertain the reason for Laserbeak’s injury, especially since she’s been resting since, without disturbance by any mech.
When Soundwave attended his duties on the bridge, in a now calmer shift-cycle than before, he did so alongside Megatron, in their normal silence. Whether it could be qualified as awkward or tense, Soundwave wasn’t sure. Megatron had barely been speaking to him for quite some time, always busy with his next action against Optimus Prime. Before that, Orion Pax had occupied his time aboard the Nemesis, when Megatron wasn’t training.
Was this just a natural, quitter patch in their friendship? Or was something wrong? Soundwave did not know. To his own surprise, he also did not entirely want to know. He had been thinking about Laserbeak’s incident, and decided Megatron was partially at fault, just as Soundwave himself was. Their leader was the reason why Laserbeak was even vulnerable enough to be injured like that. Soundwave himself should also have taken accurate action to prevent this incident entirely, so he was also at fault.
Still, Soundwave found himself uncharacteristically emotionally affected towards Megatron. The few words Megatron had spoken to him regarding their actions and troop movements, Soundwave had accepted in unusually grim silence, not even responding to those comms with his usual acknowledgements.
Was this anger? It had been long since Soundwave felt he had the capacity to even feel that. When his other Mini-Cons passed, grief had occupied his emotional capacitors fully, and then Shockwave’s experiments took over that grief and twisted it into something ugly and inelegant. Once Rumble and Frenzy’s bodies had been reclaimed, Soundwave shut his capacitators off so he was able to continue his work as usual.
In the safety of his mind, the TIC admitted he was glad Shockwave was no more. He never could see the mech as anything other than horrible after he found out about the experiments.
In the deepest recesses of his mind, Soundwave feared his feeling about Shockwave would now be transferred unto Megatron.
These thoughts occupied him during his late shift, yet they did not stop him from continuing his upkeep of the Decepticon force.
Soundwave made up his mind. In order to not let his efficiency take a hit, he would bite the proverbial Energon-blast to the face and just speak normally to Megatron, until Laserbeak was fully healthy again and he was able to address the cause of her injuries.
Shame flowed through him when thinking of the cause of her damage. He still had not been able to find out what had caused it, when he should be able to without any of Laserbeak’s input. It was his responsibility as her caretaker.
Step 1: Deal with excessive data-work. Step 2: Find cause of her injuries. Step 3: Exterminate.
He would bridge the time ‘til her recovery with his normal work, then swiftly find the reason for her accident, then take care of it. Megatron would simply have to come in later.
With that, he dismissed any more thoughts and settled into his work. If the occasional contemplation still hindered him, most were none the wiser.