Work Text:
And we may fall in love
every time we open up our eyes
I guess space and time
take violent things
angry things
and make them
kind
Jayce…
Warm, somehow, even in this noncorporeal form. The trembling of the innermost parts of him. He’d always dreamed, Jayce’s eyes fell on him but something was different—he knew—he knew— and he chose me, an impossibility—
after all this time, he got to hold him—once—one time—
it was more than he had ever hoped for. More than he had ever dreamed. To become atoms in the arms of the only human being he had ever…
Jayce.
His breath.
His hand on the back of his neck. Steadying.
His forehead against mine.
Hand in hand.
Cells vibrating in harmonious frequency.
Hearts beating in perfect synchronicity.
Once.
At the end.
–
Nothingness.
for a time.
Consciousness
fades.
It is
darkness.
Quiet.
This must be oblivion.
–
Awareness.
Atoms that remember slowly to exist.
Darkness, but warm.
Light.
Light that shines through the thin skin of eyelids to register as red against retinas—
Breath.
Carbon dioxide rattles through vocal chords. A soft grunt. Human.
Awareness of limbs. Arms, legs. Blood, muscle, bone.
A body.
Viktor’s eyelids tremble, heavy. The realization comes over him slowly that he is familiar with this sensation: he is lying down. The surface is comfortable. But that is not right. He does not exist. He is dead, is he not?
An impulse to shift his physical form is met with resistance. Input: a heavy object is lying over his upper body, curled around the back of his neck. One hand is wrapped over the top of the object, soft and sturdy. His other hand, resting against the soft surface, holds something heavy and supple. A solid, rounded object, hard covered in a layer of something soft and moveable, rests against his forehead. Then he becomes aware of the scent—warm, musky. Familiar. Though he cannot quite place it. A small expulsion of warm, damp air against his face, the rumble of another set of vocal chords—
Synapses fire.
Jayce.
Viktor’s eyes fly open.
Jayce!
Their bodies are arranged in the exact position they were—Jayce’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck. His own hand grasps Jayce’s arm. The other hand is held in his, where they had held the rune together. Foreheads rest against one another.
They’re so close. Jayce is so warm .
Jayce’s long eyelashes flutter. Brows furrow. Jayce groans. The familiar and yet foreign sound makes something inside Viktor tremble.
Heart rate increases.
Jayce’s body shifts, moving the blanket that covers them both. Viktor can feel his movement beneath them in the bed.
The bed?
What? No. That. Isn’t—what? He should—no—
Jayce opens his eyes. “Viktor!” Jayce’s honey-brown eyes reflect sunlight. A beautiful smile spreads across his perfect face, still bearded. His voice is weak and raspy at the edges. “Viktor!” he cries again. He laughs, disbelieving, a soft, breathy sound. “You’re alive!”
“Jayce—” his own voice feels foreign and gravelly in his throat.
Before he can say stop , Jayce pulls him closer , enveloping him in his huge, blazingly warm embrace. Viktor gasps.
“You’re alive,” Jayce marvels again. His big hands are threaded into Viktor’s hair. He pulls back to meet his eyes. Jayce’s eyes are shiny with tears. His hands move to cradle Viktor’s face, thumbs swiping under his eyes. Jayce’s hands are so gentle. Looking at him like that. “ We’re alive. You're—you're you again!” he marvels. “We’re alive! Viktor, we got away!”
Viktor’s heart slams in his chest. It has been a long time since he has felt that. Blood pounds in his ears. “Jayce—” His voice sounds strange and frail. “Wh— where—?”
Jayce laughs again. That laugh is familiar, from another life. It is the way Jayce would laugh when they’d made a breakthrough, when the parts finally clicked into place. “Where—?” Jayce is still— holding him. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re in another timeline!”
Another timeline. He can feel Jayce’s heartbeat too, where they’re joined, chest to chest. Other input: the tactile sensation of skin against skin. Another timeline where we’re—
An unflattering yelp breaks free of Viktor’s throat as he jerks in Jayce’s arms. Eyes snap down between their bodies.
“Jayce! I’m—we’re—”
“Huh?” Jayce’s eyes follow Viktor’s gaze. He chuckles again. “Oh. Uh.”
Naked! Naked in front of Jayce, Human body, frail and skinny and stupid—
He pulls back and this time Jayce lets him go. He sits up. Looks down at himself. No. Back in this hated, useless body. He cringes away from Jayce, caving around himself, hiding his nakedness. Embarrassing gesture: one hand darts between his legs to conceal his genitals, one arm crosses his chest to cover his nipples. His weak little heart speeds up within his chest. Breath becoming shallow. Skinny pale arms. Chest with visible ribs. And now— oh no— rippling discoloration on his flesh—horrible wormlike tendrils, on his chest, his hands, his arms, silvery shifting colors like that awful thing— it is scarring, isn’t it? Yes. The wretched pattern is reminiscent of the organic material of the hexcore. Thin, too thin, pale, sickly, and now—this. Ugly—naked and ugly—
“Viktor, hey—” Jayce sits up too. The blanket falls down his perfect body. Muscular chest. Clean, chestnut skin. Lovely powerful arms. So strong and healthy. Beautiful bearded face. Jayce is looking at him like that again: brows knit, eyes shining, sympathetic. “I—I'm sorry, I… I thought we were… you told me you—I thought we decided—”
“I thought we were going to die!” His voice is a tight whisper.
“But we didn’t! Viktor, don’t you see? The rune you gave me—the acceleration rune! We get another chance!” Jayce’s hand reaches toward his bare boney shoulder, hesitates. “We… we get to be—”
—he knew—he knew— and he chose me, an impossibility—
“I do not deserve this!” Viktor hisses. The truth of this hits him like a wave of freezing water. I killed people I hurt people I took their free will I ruined everything I hurt people my people I murdered my people I killed people how many hundred thousands I killed people I KILLED PEOPLE—
“Of course you d—”
“I am a monster, Jayce!” he growls. He can’t meet Jayce’s eyes. “I don’t—I don’t even know how you can bear to look at me, let alone—”
“Hey! Hey, Viktor, stop it!”
Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jayce reach for him again. Stop himself. He wants Jayce to touch him. He doesn’t want Jayce to touch him. He shouldn’t want Jayce to touch him.
“You—it wasn’t your fault,” Jayce continues. He can see Jayce’s expression without even looking at him. Beautiful honey brown eyes squinted and filled with misplaced tears. “If anything it was my fault—”
“You are not the one who murdered thousands of innocent people—”
“But I’m the one who fused you with the hexcore! It wasn’t you, it was the—”
“But it was me.”
“No. No, it was controlling you!”
“But I let it!” Viktor snarls. “I was an easy target. I was… weak—”
“No. You wanted to destroy it! You were willing to sacrifice yourself to stop it from hurting people, Viktor. I promised you, and I failed—but I couldn’t—I couldn’t let you die , Viktor.” Jayce’s voice breaks with sorrow and sorrow in turn floods like a physical sensation into Viktor's chest; Jayce is hurting and that’s his fault too—
“Jayce,” he cautions.
“I couldn’t let you die! Because I—”
“Don’t, Jayce, please don’t—”
“Because I love you!”
He turns to look at Jayce then. Viktor’s eyes feel full, hot. Jayce looks lovely, wrecked, pleading. His tight brown belly expands and contracts with his heavy breathing. The blanket sits tenuously in Jayce’s lap, barely covering his intimate parts. He’s so perfect, so beautiful—
“You should not .”
Jayce’s lip trembles. Anger in Viktor’s core, directed at himself. Why must I keep hurting him? “But… but I thought… but you said…?”
In all timelines, in all possibilities, only you…
Viktor pinches his eyes shut, shakes his head. “I… Jayce, why? Why me? Why would you choose me?”
“Viktor, I—I told you! Because I love you!”
The input is too much. He is alive he is human he killed people he doesn’t deserve this he is naked in bed with Jayce and Jayce loves him Jayce LOVES him—
His throat feels too full. A broken little sound escapes his lips. Hot liquid spills over from his eyes.
“Whoa, whoa, hey, Viktor, it’s okay—”
Oh, how humiliating! He’s sitting here naked crying in front of Jayce; he turns his face away. He might as well just slice himself open and bleed out on these damned sheets.
Now a big warm hand on his back. “Viktor, it’s okay. It’s okay.” The hand rubs up and down. Jayce’s hand on his bare skin, petting over the bumps of his spine, makes something animal and long-buried inside him stir.
“I… how could I not choose you?” Jayce says. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.” He shakes his head. “God, it— it took me so long to see it. I… looked for it in other people, in magic, in work, but… my place was always by your side. All I want is to be with you . I know you felt it, too, Viktor. In the Arcane. You… didn’t you choose me too?”
And Jayce’s voice sounds so small when he asks that. So vulnerable. So open. This is the Jayce none of them saw. Beneath the powerful body and the perfect smile, the golden boy, the Man of Progress, was always a wide-eyed little boy who said did I do a good job, tell me I'm good, please tell me I did a good job, please love me. Viktor just never thought that Jayce would want that love from him.
Viktor sniffles and wipes his tears away with the heel of his hand, turns back to look at him. “Oh, Jayce...”
Jayce looks soft, scared, hopeful, sweet . His wide bronze eyes sparkle with tears, glittering like the diamond-bright of sunlight on fresh fallen snow. “Viktor?” Jayce asks. So sweet and beautiful and bursting with impossible love—
All I want is my partner back.
Jayce does want him. Him . Somehow. In the Arcane, at the end of all things, Jayce left him no choice but to accept it. And now, in this strange-and-yet-somehow-familiar bedroom, in this unknown timeline, together like this, it is still somehow reality. Jayce has truly chosen him. Loving, beautiful, golden, precious Jayce—
Some inside Viktor cracks. “Oh, my Jayce, of course I—”
Jayce kisses him.
Muscles tense.
No one has ever kissed him before.
And now— Jayce—
—more than he had ever hoped for. More than he had ever dreamed.
Viktor can no longer deny what he has wanted, longed for, in the hidden depths of his heart. For years. It was his shameful secret. Aching in his chest cavity—vile, shriveled jealousy sitting like a parasite on his heart. But now: Jayce’s mouth on his, tasting somehow of sunlight, of warm earth, of everything in the universe good and pure and righteous. Jayce’s hands cradle his jaw, his big calloused hands, gentle and sturdy at the same time. His beard scrapes against Viktor’s chin. Jayce lets out a soft groan, fingers tangling into Viktor’s hair, pulling at his hairline, stimulating the nerve endings in his neck and—
Viktor’s mouth opens under Jayce’s. He feels clumsy, untethered. And Jayce, ever eager, does not hesitate to insert his tongue into Viktor’s mouth—making him gasp. Viktor’s body reacts of its own accord. Tongues meet, licking against one another.
“Ahh,” Viktor groans into Jayce’s kiss, breathy and involuntary. Viktor has never done this before. Instinct: long-denied and buried. His own hands, shaking, finally allowed to do this, rise to slide up Jayce’s arms. Jayce’s warm flesh under his palms, his fingers brushing through the soft hair there, the incredibly well-defined biceps, triceps, oh—
Jayce growls into his mouth, tonguing and kissing like he’s ravenous, nails biting into the back of Viktor’s head—
When they finally break apart for air, chests heaving, a thin filament of spittle trails between their mouths. Viktor stares at it. Jayce makes a hungry sound and licks it up, lapping against Viktor’s bottom lip.
“Oh, Jayce ...”
Jayce rests his forehead against Viktor’s again. He nuzzles against him, bumping their noses together. “I love you, Viktor,” he murmurs against his cheek, deep, intimate, reverent. “I love you.”
“Jayce, I— oh , I love you too, I love you, I love—”
And Jayce is on him again, the force of his embrace sending them back down into the sheets. Jayce braces himself on those tree trunks of arms over Viktor’s body, and kisses him, deep and hungry open-mouthed. Jayce’s hair, still grown out, hangs over him over his face, and Viktor wends his thin arms around Jayce’s sturdy neck and kisses back with all of the force he can muster, straining to lift his head against the onslaught of Jayce’s sloppy kiss. Teeth clack together with the force of their passion. Tongues in each other’s mouths, wet and messy and wonderful. Viktor fists his hands into Jayce’s hair, earning him a moan that rumbles through Jayce’s chest.
“Vik…” Jayce’s voice is low and gravelly— incredible , to hear Jayce’s voice sound like this—affected, raspy with desire, against his lips. Viktor’s chin is wet with Jayce’s cooling saliva, stinging from the friction of his beard. Jayce kisses Viktor’s lips, the corners of his mouth, his jaw, the side of his neck. The way they’re lying— naked, naked together—Jayce on top of him, chests and bellies heaving against each other, Jayce’s big meaty hairy thigh slotted between his legs—
Nerve endings—
“ Ah, Jayce!”
Synapses fire.
Viktor feels something else he has not felt in a long time.
It was infrequent even when he was at his healthiest. For most of his life he had little interest in it. After he met Jayce, the shameful lonely late-night bursts of it were… focused entirely on Jayce. And in those last months, before everything that happened… it was gone. He was so sick. Impotent.
But now…
Jayce has noticed his erection. He pulls back a little to look at Viktor’s face, smiles. “Oh, Viktor…” he coos.
“Jayce, I—don’t, don’t tease…”
“Never.” He lowers his shaggy head and nuzzles against Viktor’s neck, rubbing his beard against Viktor’s sensitive skin and pulling another gasp from his throat. “I am too,” he murmurs in Viktor’s ear. Jayce shifts so that Viktor’s thigh lies between Jayce’s robust legs—
Then Jayce’s penis is resting on top of his thigh. Erect, and— oh— it is big, of course it would be, of course Jayce is perfect there too—and it’s heavy and warm and humid and it— twitches with want against him.
“Oh, Jayce…” Viktor groans again.
Jayce has the audacity to roll his hips. Jayce—god—Jayce rubbing his erect, naked penis against his thigh—the brush of Jayce’s heavy testicles underneath—never in his wildest fantasies, never once during those nights in his lonely bed did he ever imagine that this would ever really —
“ Mmm,” Jayce groans into his neck, “ Viktor… god, you’re so… you feel so fucking good, mmm, can we—?”
“Jayce, I…” Viktor’s heart speeds up again, self-consciousness creeping back in. Lip twitches. “Jayce, eh. I…” There is really no dignified way to say it. “Jayce, I don’t—do this. I… have never…”
Jayce pulls back to look at him again, darling face full of sweet, embarrassing concern that makes Viktor feel like he is pinned open on a dissection table. “You…? Oh, Viktor…”
He can’t meet Jayce’s eyes.
“You're… a virgin?”
“What?! No—I mean, eh! Don't say it like that!”
“No, no, Viktor, I didn't mean it like that! I just… never knew…”
“I told you not to tease me, Jayce!”
“I'm not teasing you! It's… wow.” Jayce has the gall to sound excited. Viktor can hear the smile in his voice. “It's okay, I—I can teach you—”
“I am not a child— ”
“No, no, Viktor, I… I'm sorry, I… didn't mean it like that! It's okay. Please don't be embarrassed, okay? It's—it's. I mean it, okay? It's… just me.” Jayce's hand cups his cheek again. “Hey. Look at me?”
Grudgingly, he does. Jayce is looking at him like that, face full of nothing but heart-breaking devotion.
“I just meant… I… I would be honored to be your first.”
“ Jayce…”
“Your… your only… if… if you'll have me…”
—he’d always dreamed, Jayce’s eyes fell on him but something was different—he knew—he knew— and he chose me—
“I mean it. From the bottom of my heart, Viktor. Do you… want this? With me?”
Blood roars in his ears, throbs in his chest and between his legs. His lip trembles. Raises a pale thin hand, shaking a little, to tenderly stroke through Jayce’s beard. The truth is extracted from his heart like poison from a wound. “Jayce, I have never, in my life, wanted anyone but you.”
Jayce smiles, and it is like all of the light, all of the beauty, of this and every universe, every sun, every star, every source of warmth and radiance in creation, shine from Jayce’s beautiful face. Jayce leans in and cradles Viktor’s face in his hands. Kisses him again, slow and sensual, licking into his mouth.
“I'll make it good for you, Viktor,” he rumbles, intimate. He kisses Viktor’s lips, under his jaw—lips slide hot and wet under Viktor’s ear, making him gasp again. “ God, I love you so much.” He rolls his hips against Viktor’s thigh, once, again, again, in rhythm, humping. Jayce’s animal nature unfolds into view, the male’s biological urge to rut— “I’m gonna take such good care of you, Viktor—”
“ Jayce, ah—” Viktor’s body responds in kind, the same instinct stirring within his loins. His hips cant up against Jayce’s stomach, his own erection seeking friction—
“Mm, but first I wanna look at you,” Jayce whispers. “Wanna see you, all of you.” He noses against Viktor’s neck like a virile beast. “ Mm , let me look at you, Viktor, please?”
A deep shudder goes through Viktor’s body. But I'm too thin, I’m ugly, and my leg—and now, these terrible scars…
But this is Jayce.
There is beauty in imperfections.
He expels a shaky breath and nods.
Jayce sits back on his haunches, taking the blanket with him to kneel over him—
But—
Viktor’s breath falters.
The only information his brain can process—
Viktor has seen beauty that he had thought was divine, in the Arcane, in the brilliant false haze of his delusion. He believed he had seen the infinite resplendence of the Universe, all that Infinity had to offer.
But nothing—no constellation, no cosmic pattern or celestial system—can compare to the sight he now beholds.
Jayce is glorious.
He is bathed in golden sunlight—an impossible being of true divine, awe-inspiring beauty . He is a vision , a revelation . His warm bronze skin is aglow in the brilliant light of morning, his dark hair falling softly around his face. His shoulders are broad and strong, his arms like twin compressors, his chest expansive, heavy with muscle, dark brown nipples pointing downward with the heft of it. His is waist trim and solid, stomach muscles tensing and releasing like machinery beneath skin, belying the fierce power that lies within, his thighs wide and powerful—
—and Jayce is in the full glory of his manhood, his beautiful penis, the locus of his virility, standing full with desire, russet and veined and thick over the heavily laden testicular sac, exalted in the fullness of masculine passion—
Viktor had never been a religious man. Is not now. But he cannot help but feel that he is blessed, blessed to be witness to this… majesty.
Jayce… Jayce is transcendent.
“J-Jayce…” his voice is punched out of him.
He cannot speak. Words cannot express such… beauty.
How could the Universe have conspired to create such a perfect man? Absolutely lovely, strong in body, vigorous and impossibly well-made—and a genius, his mind a symphony of science and magic, a towering intellect, a paradigm of scientific acumen—and kind, so devastatingly kind, his heart full and big enough to move mountains, to shift the destiny of the Universe, to direct the course of the stars—
And Jayce’s sunlight eyes, shot with precious metal, are warm and loving—
sweeping over him—
seeing him. Viktor has never been anything less than fully clothed in front of anyone but a handful of doctors—not in this body, certainly—
Viktor shudders in his nakedness. He is… vulnerable— open , a specimen splayed on a microscope slide, displayed, submitted for viewing—there is nowhere to hide any longer. He does not want to hide any longer. He is aware of thin pale thighs spread on the bed to expose his penis, erect and naked in its desire, bobbing over his concave belly.
But he finds he wants—to give this to Jayce.
This is what I am, what I am for you, only for you, I am naked and pink and soft, I offer you my body, my mind, my soul, my life, take me, oh my sweet beautiful Jayce—
Their eyes meet. Eternies blaze between them—all that has been, all that might have been, all that might and will be— the night their eyes met, on that ledge in the moonlight, the ecstatic blue glow of hextech as they floated, the warmth in Jayce’s eyes as he wrapped the blanket around Viktor’s transformed shoulders, a mess of metal and bloody lips, scorched pavement and leaking wires and bitter tears, a ring and a lifetime in this bed, another bed, bitter and quiet, in a brightly lit hospital room, a petrified body adorned with lichen, solemn and still unto the end of time, and then, the Arcane, shimmering with golden threads of light, where Jayce took his hand, where he professed his impossible love, and all around them, stars, infinite, involute and myriad, ever-circling, patterns occult and unknowable, moved by Their hands, together—
And yet. This. This. Has always been the truth of what they are.
Jayce’s lips part. He breathes out shakily. Viktor’s eyes track Jayce’s hand as he reaches down, and warm fingers stroke, feather-light, over Viktor’s left hip-bone, making him breath in sharply, down his thigh where more scars dapple his skin… Jayce’s touch, electric, volatile, like hex discharges sparking between them, like Magic…
“Oh, Viktor…” Jayce breathes out, his voice soft, almost… awed. As if Viktor could elicit such a feeling in him. Jayce’s fingers creep closer to his penis.
“My god, Viktor,” Jayces breathes, looking there, his eyes soft. He lets out a soft, awestruck breath. “You’re beautiful.”
Suddenly the sunlight is too bright in Viktor’s eyes. This is— Jayce is—is too much, too bright, too beautiful, too golden, too perfect, too good—
Tears spill from his eyes, slip down his face into his hair. His ribcage jumps with erratic breaths.
Jayce, strong, indefatigable Jayce, a zenithal beacon of brilliance and beauty, a shining, splendid specimen of indefectible manhood—and Jayce wants him. In all his loveliness, in all his perfection…
…Jayce makes him feel… like this body is transformed—again—but not by magic, but this time, by Jayce’s loving gaze—into something… worthy.
Something beautiful.
Jayce is a giant from myth, kneeling nude and exquisite above him, he is more of a man than anyone ever has been or will be—he is the sun, the fount of all light and warmth and beauty — and Viktor wants to fall before him, give him anything and everything he can offer, and Viktor is grateful, so grateful, so honored…
Jayce’s hand has stilled, tenderly holding his hip. “Are you all right, Viktor?”
Viktor’s lip trembles. And yet—this is Jayce, his Jayce, with whom he has felt safer and more understood than he has with any other human being. Jayce who gave him purpose, gave him Magic. Who brought him coffee in the lab all those bleary sun-soaked mornings, who spent long nights by his side in shirt sleeves with all of the possibilities of youth and the universe sparking at their fingertips, Jayce who showed him how beautiful life could be. Jayce who saved his life, who saved his soul.
When Viktor speaks his voice is low and thick. He lets it voice break, lets the tears well from his eyes. “Come to me, come to me, my Jayce, I need you—”
Jayce crashes onto him like a wave and—
Jayce’s hand wraps around his penis.
A broken cry escapes Viktor’s lips—
No one has ever touched him there before, no hand other than his own has ever—It—it aches, oh, it is— rapturous— firm and raw and ecstatic— his biology takes over and he ruts into Jayce’s hand, hips pistoning in a fever of long-denied animal instinct—
“J-Jayce, Jayce—”
Jayce’s mouth finds the juncture between his neck and shoulder and suckles , loud and wet and obscene, beard scraping, tongue lapping—
“Jayce, Jayce! I—I am not going to last, I—”
“Oh!” Jayce gently releases his hold, and Viktor can’t stop himself from burying his face in Jayce’s shoulder, whining—embarrassingly—at the loss.
“Sorry,” Jayce offers.
“No, no… it is… I just…” He runs his hands over Jayce’s arms, shoulders, chest. It’s—overwhelming—the slamming of his heart, the wanton throb between his legs, and Jayce’s overpowering beauty — “I want to… do this together.” We finish this together. And so, this, whatever it is, they will begin together. “I want… to touch you too, Jayce, I…”
Jayce’s smile is intimate, soft. “Come here, Viktor…” Jayce threads his hand into Viktor’s hair, cradling the back of his head, pulls him into another sweet kiss. Jayce takes Viktor in his arms, gently maneuvers their bodies so that they are lying on their sides, faces pressed together, bare legs tangled.
Jayce’s hands engulf Viktor’s waist, gripping, as they kiss, deep, hard, slow—hands slide up his sides to his ribcage, one arm looping around his back, the other pressed to the flat plane of his chest, oh, Jayce’s hand nearly spans his chest—they kiss, tongues thrust into one another’s mouths—
Viktor is lost , lost in his passion—his own hands explore the prodigious bounty of Jayce’s physical form—the rippling muscle of Jayce’s abdomen, his heavy, ample chest—Viktor has dreamed of doing this so many times and now he finally—he seizes Jayce’s pectorals—so big and heavy they are almost like breasts— holds the the heft of them in his hands and squeezes.
“Ah— Viktor—” Jayce groans.
Jayce pants, his absurdly large hands traversing Viktor’s thin body, back down to hold his hips, around his pelvis to grip his buttocks—
“ Oh!” Viktor cries at that—Jayce’s hands cover his ass completely— one hand covers his ass completely, big and warm and oh, no one has ever touched him there either, and Jayce’s hands so warm, so big and calloused, his small buttocks naked and supple and pliant in Jayce’s hands—Jayce holds Viktor’s buttocks, one in each hand, and massages his cheeks, Viktor cries out again—he feels—feels— bare-assed in Jayce’s hands, his hips cant, grinding his ass against Jayce’s touch and—he gasps when Jayce’s forefingers slip together at the split of his ass, dipping a little inside , pulling his buttocks open— and Viktor—oh , now that is an unfamiliar sensation—warm sunlight against his—his anus—
“Aghh—” he moans into Jayce’s mouth, panting against his spit-slick lips. He’s—split— exposed—
Jayce moans too and Viktor feels the rumble of it in his chest. Jayce smiles, eyes glowing with intimate knowledge. “You—you like that, Viktor?”
“ Hah —” Viktor cannot form the words to respond, he feels— possessed , his hips rocking of their own accord into Jayce’s big sturdy hands, where he—he’s holding him open— he feels Jayce’s big blunt fingers press inward, creeping toward the edges of his—oh, his hole—
“ Jaaaayce—” he growls, buries his face in Jayce’s fat chest, teeth scraping.
“ God ,” Jayce moans. “You’re so gorgeous, Viktor…”
And then—Jayce tenderly kisses Viktor’s head—as a warm, blunt finger tenderly probes at his anus, the pad of the finger so gentle, softly tapping against it, once, twice—skin meeting intimate, untouched flesh—then, stroking over the opening , —
“Wow, you really do like that,” Jayce coos against his ear.
“ Ah—”
“Oh, Viktor, baby…”
“Mmmm…” Jayce calling him baby, he knows it is a popular term of endearment but he is a grown man, he should not enjoy that but— oh , baby, Jayce’s baby…
“I think we’ll have to explore this more sometime, Vik… wow.”
Viktor feels his hole trembling at the touch of Jayce’s finger, twitching against the warm almost-intrusion—Jayce begins to lovingly stroke light circles over his anus—
Viktor makes a sound he didn’t know he was capable of making, pitchy and debauched—
“Jayce, Jayce—!” His mind is blank, blazing with nothing but white light and his body— it is on fire, electricity sparking up his spine from his split fondled ass, his loins alight with desire, desire— his hips have begun to shunt forward madly, his neglected penis agonized for touch, wetness gathered at the slit of the aching tip and getting caught beneath his foreskin—it is… sticky , bouncing heavily between his legs, bumping against his own belly, against Jayce’s hot thigh—
“ Whoa,” Jayce breathes, and Viktor looks up to see how Jayce is staring down between their bodies, watching him rut , seeing how he is brainless and lustful over Jayce’s caresses and… anal probing, how much he wants, oh, he is hungry and aching—it is—it should be humiliating, but—
Jayce will not let him fall.
“Oh, Viktor, look at you, here…” He brings their faces together, placing a kiss on Viktor’s panting mouth. Jayce takes his hand, kisses his fingers—his soft sweet lips—then reaches down between their bodies.
Viktor’s eyes track Jayce’s hand, down the plane of his hard powerful stomach, betwixt their hips—beneath Jayce’s chiseled belly his manhood looks just as needful as his own.
“Oh, Jayce,” he groans, his voice dipping deep and ragged. “You are absolutely beautiful…”
Jayce’s penis twitches and bobs between his legs—Jayce is truly a magnificent specimen of manhood. Viktor has no experience with any penis other than his own. He is not small by any means, but Jayce’s appendage is…large. Likely between nine and ten inches. It is circumcised, as is customary topside… it seems curiously naked, the fat, veined shaft and the blunt, wide crown on full display. The slit of the head glistens with a small bead of pre-ejaculatory fluid—
Jayce buries his face in Viktor’s shoulder and sobs when Viktor, experimentally, wraps long white fingers around the thick shaft.
“V-Vik…” Jayce whines. “Oh, shit…”
“Lovely, Jayce,” Viktor whispers. He begins to gently pump. And it is, it is, the penis fat and heavy and unctuous in his hand. He rubs this thumb over the smooth, swollen crown and it is—soft as rose petals, so very tender. He slips his hand down the shaft to cup the testicles underneath and Jayce whines beautifully. Jayce’s balls are delicate and hefty; filled with his man’s seed, Jayce must be so potent. His hand ascends back up to grope the penis once more. He has never touched another man like this—never believed he would, ever, let alone touch Jayce, and Jayce is—
“ Flawless,” Viktor purrs. “Exquisite…”
“Oh, Viktor,” Jayce groans. “Let me—let me do yours too— fuck—”
Viktor moves to allow Jayce access and hisses with pleasure when Jayce once again takes hold of his manhood. They both stare down between their bodies, where they hold one another, their most intimate parts. A feeling wells in Viktor’s chest and he almost laughs when he places it: wonder. This moment: it reminds Viktor bizarrely of that night—that destined night when they had fallen headfirst into their joined inevitability, looking down at the oscillating gyroscope, the crackling energy, the rune matrix that brought the Arcane to life for the first time— discovering something together, new and strange and beautiful and wonderful—
but this time, it is far more simple. Their bodies, bare and quintessential, desiring one another. Basic biology, innately human.
The similarities and differences between their bodies is… alluring. Fascinating, in a base way. Viktor never enjoyed looking at himself, was… indifferent, at best, to his own manhood. But viewing it in comparison to Jayce’s… well. It is delicious, frankly, the way their erect penises hold the same structure and yet… they are quite visually different. His own: slim, mauvish pink, the slightly pointed head poking from its sheath—Jayce’s: a warm shade of flushed coppery brown, strangely and beautifully naked in its circumcised state, wide—it must be roughly five-and-a-half inches in diameter—and thickly veined, its glans round and blunt and… oh , a little bead of pre-ejaculatory fluid bubbles from the delicate slit—
“ Mmph ,” Jayce grunts, humping in his hand. “So good , Vik…”
Mirroring his own exploration, Jayce’s hand descends down between Viktor’s thighs to gently cup his—
“ Hah—” he expels a breathy cry when Jayce’s warm palm comes to cradle his balls, fingers pressed between the back side of his sac and his perineum. Jayce’s touch is so—warm, so safe , so tender—this is… his most delicate parts in Jayce’s loving hand. His most vulnerable pieces have always been so safe with Jayce, in his eyes, in his heart, his arms, his hands— Jayce’s thumb strokes gently down the seam of his scrotum, then his hand moves to wrap around his his shaft once again.
“ Beautiful, ” Jayce whispers. His thumb circles Viktor’s crown, where his foreskin conceals the head. He gently pulls the delicate hood back, revealing him fully. “Look at you, Viktor, beautiful…” He smooths it up and down a few times, extending and retracting—and Viktor is mesmerized by Jayce’s enormous hand, holding him there , pumping him, pleasuring him—the hot sensation spikes warm down the muscles of his thighs and he groans. “ Mmm, come here, baby…” Jayce rumbles. He delicately guides Viktor’s manhood toward his so that— oh—
their cockheads bump together—their tips lay against one another and Viktor moans at the beautiful feeling, smooth and slick and plump, and their slits catch against one another to tease and the barest hint of ticklish friction, their—their fluid mingling, wet and sticky, oh, Jayce’s penile discharge on his cockhead—they both moan as a thin stream of wet dribbles out of him and onto Jayce—and the shocking visual: it is like their penises are kissing—
He moans at the obscene idea, his pelvis canting forward to rub head against head, one hand holding Jayce’s thick shaft steady. “ Jayce,” his voice rumbles in his chest. “Jayce—please—”
Jayce moans in return and, teasing, angle Viktor’s penis back so that their crowns seperate—Viktor’s jaw drops in awe at the erotic sight of a thin thread of fluid, glistening gold in the sunlight, stretching between their penises, joining them—
Every nerve ending in Viktor’s body is alight with stimulation, like a current spreading through a network of wires, emanating from the nucleus of his erection, or his living, pumping heart, it is impossible to say which—but not all questions have any one finite answer.
But some do. Some maxims in the universe are irrevocably True. Some positions in the cosmos are Fixed. And he understands now. Truly. It is as though the magnetic poles of his atoms have always been pulled toward those within Jayce—
A charge, a recursive impulse.
It was alway this.
Viktor throws himself into Jayce’s arms.
They both gasp at the full body contact, chest to chest, belly to belly, cock to aching cock , their bodies slotting together so perfectly, as though they were engineered for one another, like two cogs fitting beautifully together, Jayce’s skin so warm, and alive and whole, oh so whole , home —
“Jayce, Jayce—” Viktor growls into Jayce’s chest, nuzzling his face in Jayce’s cleavage. “Please, please—”
“Yeah—oh, fuck, baby, Viktor, I love you—”
“I love you, I love you, Jayce, please—”
Jayce kisses him hard and seizes their penises, holding them together in his perfect hand, swollen and firm and ablaze with wanton animal arousal—Viktor cries out, not caring that his voice is high-pitched, that it cracks, that is sounds— ruined— Jayce can see him like this, he wants Jayce to see him like this—
Only you could show me this.
The mask—the mask he didn’t even realize was not his true face—it broke, it broke and showed him for all that he was, and he was ashamed—to be seen for the wanting, small, feeling imperfect creature that he truly was, even in the height of his deluded power—he was always meant to belong to Jayce—
And Jayce—Jayce looks into his eyes—his dark hair is sweat-damp against his forehead, his pupils so dilated the amber irises are nearly lost in pools of black, his lips parted, panting, brows knit, needful, beautiful—beautiful beautiful—
“Viktor—”
Viktor kisses him.
They lose themselves in the abandon of their need—they pant into one another’s mouths, moans falling from Jayce’s lips like honey, thick and deep, his sweet tongue lapping at Viktor’s lips, his jaw, his neck—they rut and writhe against each other and all Viktor’s vision is gold, gold and bright, he is floating, weightless, and knows nothing but Jayce’s body, Jayce’s skin, Jayce’s hands, Jayce’s mouth, Jayce’s penis, the white-hot blaze that coils in his loins like a pressure valve about to blow—
“ Ah, that’s it, that’s it Viktor, let me see—”
Viktor is gone, lost in the light of this beauty, his and Jayce’s voices, raised in primal moans and gasps, mingle like currents interchanging, like the hot-bright flare of Arcane energies in glorious concert—Jayce strokes his hand tight and thick where their bodies are joined, raw and tight like tension coils and Viktor can feel the change coming upon him, like the antithesis of his transformation, and he knows deep in the place where the soul, the animus, lies that instead of being split and broken he is being reformed anew, fashioned in the image of Jayce’s love, he will made be whole, made beautiful, made pure by this Divine Metamorphisis—
“Jayce, Jayce, Jaaayce—”
cells vibrating in harmonious frequency.
hearts beating in perfect synchronicity.
Light takes him—his ejaculation erupts between their bodies and he cries whimpers keens, oh, it nearly hurts— this sublime release—all of his life, every death, every rebirth, has been leading to this Undoing—he comes apart in Jayce’s arms, sobs into the safe expanse of his broad chest, giving Jayce his seed, pouring out his soul —and Jayce holds him through it all, as he always has, as he always will—his vision explodes in a fount of color, blinding, radiant—the cries of stars at their end, the roaring of a Universe at its beginning—
Glory. Glory. Glory.
And then—Jayce, oh, beautiful Jayce, is crying out too and his—his glorious manhood tenses like a reactor—and he sobs, a miraculous sound, as his own eruption joins Viktor’s—
To become atoms in the arms of the only human being he had ever—
—for an instant he touches the Arcane again—he feels it spark through the new scars span his body—it reaches out from within him and finds Jayce, the part of him that is still bound to it, bound to Viktor, bound to it through him—together, they hold it between their bodies, and he sees, sees Jayce’s soul, and sees his own soul through Jayce’s eyes, effulgent with light, their animi connected, dissolved into one another, circuitous and unending—and radiant with blinding luminescence—
They come undone together. Bodies joined, holding one another, once at the end of all things, and now at the beginning. The birth of a new universe, and they together its progenitors—this—this act of life, the act of masculine passion—shared between them. And their seed erupts from their bodies, hot and wet and abundant, mingling, pouring over Jayce’s hand, down their shafts, oh, Jayce’s potent, immaculate seed anointing him, bursting forth against his body, pouring down his shaft, his balls beneath—he no longer knows which rivulets of semen are his own and which are Jayce’s—like cellular fusion, like elementary particles—they are One—
Inextricably bound.
Viktor is panting against Jayce’s chest, Jayce rubbing his face against the top of Viktor’s head, their hips stuttering against one another, softening penises, wet and slick with their amalgamated seed, between their legs. Jayce wraps his arms around Viktor and holds him.
Viktor blinks his eyes open, the world a haze, viewed through the crook of Jayce’s cradling arms—at first, it appears to be sunspots in his eyes, but—for an instant, in his peripheral vision, he sees—golden streamers of light , shimmering on the air—vestiges of the Arcane, the manifestation of their love— before dissipating into the morning sunlight.
Jayce rubs his hand up and down Viktor’s back, caressing the scars that Viktor himself has not yet seen. His breath is heavy, evening out. He kisses the top of Viktor’s head.
Viktor shifts to look up at his face, hesitating, the enormity of what they’ve just done vibrating in his chest. Jayce’s smile is tender , and Viktor can still see the golden filaments in the irises of his beautiful eyes.
Viktor feels himself returning Jayce’s smile, full and unabashed on his face. Jayce lets out a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sob.
“That was…”
“Perfect,” Viktor finishes for him.
“Yes. I love you, Viktor.”
Viktor huffs a little laugh. “I love you, my Jayce. My heart.” He strokes a hand through Jayce’s sweat-damp hair.
They kiss, soft and slow, time slowing to a warm, slow stretch.
They have slept, Viktor thinks, when he opens his eyes to the darkening of late afternoon. Still alive. Still together. Still warm, in this bed, tangled together in each other in each others’ arms. Jayce makes a soft sound, a quiet contented dream-sigh. Ah. Still asleep, then. Viktor will let him sleep. Their semen is cold and crusted on their bellies, and yet, Viktor cannot find it in himself to care. He nuzzles into Jayce’s arms, and notices that, while he slept, Jayce wrapped the blanket around him, and—tears well in his eyes when he realizes that it is the same blanket, dark blue with red on the inside, the one that Jayce wrapped him in, the one he carried with him through it all… that thing was tattered, destroyed—but now it’s soft again, as if freshly laundered.
Any concerns about the future—what comes next, where they are—are quiet in his head.
Jayce.
His breath.
His hand arms cradling his body. Steadying.
My head in his chest.
Limbs intertwined.
Cells vibrating in harmonious frequency.
Hearts beating in perfect synchronicity.
Now.
At the beginning.
–
Peace.
in His arms.
Warmth
hums at the locus of consciousness.
It is
infinity.
Understanding.
This must be home.