Chapter Text
I kept staring at my reflection, frozen. My ears twitched, and my muscles contracted below my skin. I was fighting every urge of fight or flight, to run and hide, to smash the mirror and rip at my skin. All I could do was stand and stare, fingers reaching to brush over my skin, feeling the new markings along my back and shoulders, shoulders straining with each further stretch.
A noise. Distant but growing closer. Footsteps. Steady, confident, a strong stride. It felt familiar, but with new senses, the sound was foreign. I took a deep, shaking breath, closing my eyes, honing in on the noise. Where was it exactly? Focus. Listen. Down the stairs, a hollowing thudding, rounding the corner on more solid ground, down the hall, echoing off the walls. My bedroom door creaking open. Pause. There was a long silence, a hitched breath, and a low grumble. Footsteps muffled by carpet, closer and closer.
The knocking on the bathroom door made me jump, gasping from the fright, my heart racing quickly before calming back down to a steady rate. I turned around, frantically grabbing my shirt off the floor and pulling it back on over my head. It felt weird how the neckline pulled my ears down before they flopped back up, raised high, alert.
"Hey! You up?" I knew that voice, rough and gravely. It was Jeff, sounding annoyed, confused, and worried.
"Oh, uh, yeah! What's up?"
"What's up!? You're up! Open this damn door, or I'm taking it off the hinges! " I didn't have to be told twice. I fumbled with the lock and handle before twisting and yanking the door open. To my surprise and shock, the handle crushed under my grasp, and the wood around it splintered, with deep cracks spreading across the door like spider webs. I couldn't even look at Jeff; I was too focused on the damaged door, which was still in my hold. It wasn't even heavy.
"Welp, guess ya did that for me. " He didn't sound shocked, just more amused than anything. I finally looked back at him, expecting answers.
"What? Ya don't remember anything? " I only stared at him, still waiting, getting an eye-roll in response.
"Still as stupid as ever, huh? Okay, recap: you wanted to be one of us; you are one of us now, and that comes with some perks, for example, " He gestured to the door, raising his brows like it was apparent. Piece by piece, I slowly fit the puzzle back together in my mind, memories filtering back in like a dripping faucet. That's right, I did the ritual. I guess it worked and explained my new, well, everything.
"Huh. " He chuckled at me, shaking his head.
"That's it? 'Huh'? Whatever, c'mon. " He turned on his heels, already walking back towards the hallway, leaving me to stumble and follow him. My legs were still wobbly, getting used to my body all over again, like a baby learning to walk and balance. I followed him to the living room; Jane and Tim sat on the couch, idly chatting, before entering the room. Upon seeing me, Jane bolted up, almost tripping over the coffee table, grabbing my shoulders and looking me over. Her hands grabbed my face, turning my head left, then right, combing her fingers through my hair, lifting my arms, and seeing the new marks peeking out from the loose sleeves of the t-shirt. She traced her nails along the marks before pulling away, looking down at my face again.
"How are you feeling? Does anything hurt? Do you remember anything? " She spoke quickly, but softly, concern laced through her voice. I just offered a small smile, grabbing her hands and lowering them from my face.
"I'm alright, a bit sore, but I'm fine. It's good to see you, Jane. How's everything been going? " She sighed, visible relief washing over her, the tension in her shoulders melting away.
"Oh, thank god. I was so worried! You've... you've been asleep a while now, hun. " Something that looked like guilt, but not quite , flashed across her face briefly before being covered with a kind smile.
"But you're awake now, and that's what matters. Let's get you some food; I bet you're starving! " As if on cue, my stomach growled. I hadn't registered just how hungry I was through my initial waking confusion and panic. But being surrounded by familiar faces brought a sense of ease to me.
"Food sounds great! " Jane laughed lightly, wrapping an arm around my back and guiding me towards the kitchen.
"I'll go get the others, Jeff, your helpin'. " Jeff groaned at Tim's statement, but I heard the two's heavy footsteps walking up the stairs. A small smile faded across my lips , I was happy. Nothing seemed different, everything felt normal, and that was enough for me. Jane took me to the table first, sitting me down before heading back into the kitchen, humming as she brought out cookware and ingredients. I laid my head on the table, arms folded under my chin, closing my eyes, enjoying the gentle clinks from the kitchen, the subtle shift in temperature in the air around me, my ears twitching at every little sound, honing in on this new sense. Even before cooking anything, I could already smell the food and spices laid out on the counter.
"Look who's finally awake. " I jumped in my seat, eyes darting open. I didn't even hear him, but there he was, sitting across from me, arms crossed on the table, grinning at me. It was no wonder I hadn't heard him; he was still half floating in the air before finally fully sitting down. His grin was cocky like always, but there was a softness to his eyes. I couldn't help but smile.
"Hey, Ben. Good to see ya too. " He tapped the table, humming.
"Try not to fall back asleep, okay? Who knows if you'll wake up again. " Followed by a chuckle. I rolled my eyes with a smile, missing the sass and jokes that came with everyone.
"Maybe I wanna go back to sleep. "
" Awe, ya hate me that much? "
" Who said it had anything to do with you? "
" Damn, just twist the knife further, why don'tcha? " He feigned hurt, dramatically gasping and placing a hand over his heart, earning a soft chuckle from me.
"Glad to see you haven't changed. "
" Ya, you too. " His voice softened, grin forming into a gentler smile. My ears twitched, my gaze shifting to the doorway, and more people walked in. I smiled at them, raising a hand and waving. Everyone was smiling, even Jeff, even Tim, and Jack, his blue mask missing. Before I could say anything or greet them, a thick back cloud exploded at my side, arms wrapping around me like snakes before I was being swirled through the air, manic, joyous laughter filling the space, ringing through my ears.
"(Y/n)! You're awake! Finally! " Jack was cackling and spinning me around like a doll, his expression nothing else if not delighted. I managed to wriggle an arm free, patting his hand.
"Jack! It's good to see you too! But can you put me down, please? I'm sore as hell. " Through my laughing and smiling, my teeth were bared, gritting down. Being squeezed made my already sore muscles feel on fire.
"Ya heard her , put 'er down. " Tim walked over, patting Jack's shoulder and getting his attention. Jack pouted but put me back down in my chair without argument, ruffling a large hand through my hair before sitting to my right, still grinning, looking across at everyone before landing on Ben, grin stretching ever so slightly wider , only getting a raised brow in response. My attention was pulled back to the group, dispersing to their own seats, with the resident surgeon taking the seat to my left.
"Feeling alright? " I nodded to Jack with a soft hum.
"You said you're sore? I can get you some painkillers if you want? "
" Thanks, after we eat? "
" Sure, but I could get them while we're waiting. " I waved my hand with a smile.
"Nah, I can wait. Honestly, I wanna hang out with everyone right now. " He smiled back with a nod, hollow eyes softening.
"Alright then. Just let me know if you're not feeling right. "
" Will do. " I gave a half-hearted mock salute, earning a laugh from the usually stoic man.
"We're just glad you're back; you were out a while there and had us worried you wouldn't wake up, " Brian said, sitting next to Ben with a wary smile on his face. Toby, beside him, nodded in agreement. A pang of guilt spread across me; they didn't have to worry, but they did. I didn't like making them worry. But there was some comfort in them all being here with me now, smiling and chatting.
And that's what we did. We all sat and conversed, smiling, laughing, teasing. It was fun. It was normal. Any sense of guilt or pain or sadness was gone, replaced with happy normalcy. It wasn't long until Jane brought out a delicious-smelling meal, placing the pots and pans in the middle of the table. Toby helped bring over dishes and silverware, dividing the food between all of us. Juicy steaks with sauteed vegetables, carrots, potatoes, asparagus, and green beans were dusted lightly with salt. All accompanied with a small plate with salad. Everyone shared their thanks before digging in, and I was happy to join, my mouth watering at the feast. I cut a piece of the steak off before eating it, and the flavors exploded in my mouth. Nothing had ever tasted as good as this! It was like a whole new world of tastes had been hidden away until now, and I already knew why.
This new body, these new senses, my hearing, my smell, my sight, and even my taste. Thinking back on it, when I was just a normal human, it felt like a thick veiled was pulled over me, dulling all my senses but pain, but now, it was reversed. I could see the smallest details, each twitch of muscle below the skin before a jaw opened or an arm moved to lift a fork. I could smell the air so accurately, spices mingling with perfumes and colognes and the smell of functions bodies, coppery blood rushing through veins. I could feel the air shift around me, each inhale and exhale, the slightest temperate change from turning the stove on and off. And now, with my taste, I could taste everything . The love and effort poured into the cooking , the slightest bit of salt was enough, pepper, onion, and garlic mingled together in some tasty tango.
My face must've given away how awestruck I was by this whole new world of senses. A chuckle drew my attention back up across the table, fork still in my mouth. Ben was chuckling, shaking his head lightly before Jane spoke up, leaning across the table to look at me.
"That good, huh? Everything's gonna taste a lot different now; bad will be awful, and good will be amazing! " I hummed, finally taking the fork away, chewing and swallowing quickly.
"It's really good! Can you teach me?"
"Of course, hun! How bout this; whos ever turn it is to cook, you'll join them, help out, and learn. " I nodded eagerly. Jane spoke again before I could reply.
" But , for now, you just need to rest and recover. Once you're all better, then you can start helping out and doing whatever, alright? "
"But I feel just fine- "
" Your door would disagree. " Jeff butted in with a snarky chuckle.
"Hmm? " Tim looked at him with a raised brow, waiting for clarification.
"Dude, she ripped it off! " He laughed more loudly now, and eyes turned from Jeff to me.
"I didn't mean to! " Jack laughed just as loud as Jeff, slapping a hand on my shoulder and knocking the air out of me.
"Don't worry 'bout it! Most of us did that! And if not the door, just walking broke the fuckin' floor! " Everyone was laughing now, but not at me; they were laughing and sharing the times when they, too, first woke up anew and the various parts of the house and decor they destroyed by accident.
"I tried to open the fridge and knocked the entire thing over! "
" I just wanted to sit on the couch, but it exploded! There was wood and cotton everywhere ! "
" Oh, god, don't remind me! That was a mess to clean up! "
" Yeah, and you made it worse with the vacuum; you dug it into the floor, and it nearly caught fire! "
" Oh! Remember when Toby was called to the Boss's office and ripped the doors off twice ? "
" H-hey! You broke his d-desk! "
"How 'bout when Ben tried to crawl out the TV for the first time and crushed it? Nearly cut himself in half!"
"Or when Jack tried to go up the stairs and nearly collapsed the entire house?"
Everyone was hollowing with laughter. Not a worry in the air. It was all just good memories and times to laugh about and remember. It eased me and made the concern about the broken door melt away. It was nothing unusual; it was a learning curve they had all gone through, and it would be the same for me. It made me feel a lot less lonely.
The dining room was still filled with chatter long after our plates were empty. Tim and Brian stood up, collecting all the dishes and returning them to the kitchen. Jack was standing by my side and gesturing for me to follow. Acutely aware of my strength now, I carefully stood up, thankfully with the chair and table still intact. I followed him to a room I was all too familiar with: the clean, pristine operating room. I was glad I wouldn't need to be laid on the chair again. He moved with memorized organization, opening a cabinet and pulling out an orange pill bottle. He double-checked the label before nodding and handing it to me, grabbing a small paper cup and filling it with cold water at the sink.
"Just take two whenever you feel like you need it; since you're not really human anymore, you can't exactly overdose or damage your organs with these, but you still won't have a fun time if you take too many at once. "
"Thanks, Jack. I appreciate it. " I popped two pills in my mouth, washing them down with the water.
"No problem. That should be enough, but if you do need more, just let me know. "
" Yeah, I will. " He nodded, gesturing to the door with a smirk.
"Now get the hell out; I don't wanna see you in this room again, got it? " I laughed, waving him off.
"Knowing me? This is my favorite place to end up."
"Yeah, well, change that. You can actually heal up in nearly an instant now, and there is no reason I need to stitch you up again or pull more bullshit tech out of your brain. " We both chuckled. It was horrible, but I lived through it, survived, and now, here I was, alive, something not human, and he was right; I had no reason to end up in this room again. So, with a last 'thank you, ' I left the room. Everyone was gone, but I could still hear them throughout the house and smell the lingering scents of where they once were, where they walked, and where they went. I smiled to myself. It was like a cartoon. How the old grandma would place a pie in the window seal, and the scent trail would waft a hungry critter to come steal it. I could smell those trails.
"(Y/n)?" I turned, Jane peeking out the kitchen doorway.
"Hmm, yeah?"
"Why don't you go outside and get some fresh air? You have been pent up inside for a while now."
"Oh, yeah, I guess I have been. Is that okay?"
"Of course! You can do whatever you want. You don't gotta ask to leave. " Her laugh was light and airy before disappearing into the kitchen. The sounds of water running and dishes clinking together soon followed. With a hum, I stuck the pill bottle in my shorts pocket and walked to the front entrance, gently and slowly opening the door and letting the wind outside help push it open, definitely not wanting to rip another door off the wall. I stepped out onto the porch, taking just as much care to close the door before looking out into the open.
Bright green grass bloomed across the ground, with dandelions and daffodils scattered throughout. There were sparse patches of snow here and there, melting away to reveal the flora below. There was a soft, cool breeze, and the sun shone a bright, warm light down on my skin. The wind made my skin prickle. I walked slowly and carefully, tracking off the porch and into the grass. It was cold and wet beneath my feet from the melting snow.
I took a deep breath, my lungs expanding to full capacity before slowly breathing out once more. It was refreshing. I felt so alive. Everything was so much brighter, far more vivid. All the new smells and sounds would have been overwhelming, but I felt so at peace that it didn't bother me one bit. I wandered over to a patch of snow, one of the few that still had enough left. Kneeling down, I started to bundle some of the snow up; there wasn't much, but a small enough one would be fine—one big ball, a second smaller one, then a third tiny one. I stacked them up, making a mini snowman. The snow didn't hold well together; it was still melting away, bits and pieces kept crumbling off, and the whole thing was lopsided, still melting. It was only slightly bigger than my hand. But it still made me happy, a small smile twitching on my lips, remembering-
"Reliving some memories, huh? " I jumped, whipping around, coming face to face with those black eyes and red pinpricks. He was floating again, hovering upside down, grinning, hair waving gently.
"Oh! Hey! Jeez, you gotta stop scaring me! "
"Not my fault you're jumpy; it's fun. " He twisted in the air, now upright again, peaking around me to look at the sad little snowman ready to fall over.
"Guess there's not much snow now that you've woken up. "
" Huh? " He tilted his head lazily to the side, focusing back on me.
"Hmm? What, you didn't realize? " I just stared back at him, more confused.
"Eh, nevermind, I'll tell ya later." He waved it off, instead reaching out to the snowman and trying to fix it back upright, but instead, it fell over with a splat.
"Shit, sorry."
"No, no, it's fine; it was already falling over anyway. " I grinned, pushing the snow around, smoothing it out, and drawing two dots and a curved line, a little happy face.
"Gotta say, I'm glad to see ya doing better."
"Yeah, I'm pretty happy to be better, too, now that I've got my legs back and everything. " I chuckled, but his smile faltered, a flash of guilt flying across his face. There was a long pause before he spoke again.
"I...I am sorry about that. You shouldn't have to have gone through that shit. " My own smile turned into a frown.
"Don't be , it's not your fault."
"Yeah, but...we could've helped more, ya know? " I lightly smacked his shoulder.
"No, actually, I don't know. Quit that. None of you knew what would happen; I didn't even know what was happening to me. So stop that; it's not your fault. It's no one's fault. " The corner of his mouth twitched downward more.
"Yeah, but...you only went back 'cause I took you there."
"Because I wanted to. We already had this conversation as a whole, remember? But we can't keep dwelling on it. Please? " He hummed, shrugging his shoulders.
"How...how can you be so happy? How are you fine with it? " He slowly lowered to the grass floor, sitting beside me, resting his forearm on his knee.
"I don't get it. " It was my turn to shrug. Staring at the melting, happy face in the snow.
"There's nothing to get. It happened, and I'm not dead, so I guess I don't really think about what happened to me. But... " I paused to breathe.
"I do keep thinking about what happened to you all, how you all fought. You were the first one I saw, ya know? In the hallway, when she...was pushing me in the chair. You were against the wall, your hat was covering your face, but there...there was so much blood. " I cringed, remembering the image so clearly in my mind.
"You feel bad, but I do too. But, " I smiled at him, poking his arm.
"You're still here, and I am too. It sucked, yeah, but I'm just happy we all got out alive and okay in the end. "
"I was kinda hoping you didn't remember that."
"Yeah, seeing your friend with their head blown open is a bit hard to forget."
"That's one way to put it."
"So if you are sorry, then I am too. You shouldn't have to have gone through that, either."
"Fine, fine, you'll just keep fighting me on this, huh?"
"Damn, am I that predictable? And here I thought my refusal to die showed just how stubborn I am."
"Hah, you can say that again; guess I should've never doubted you'd wake up."
"Awe, does that mean you care? " He flicked my head, chuckling lowly.
"No shit, dumbass, we all care. " My own giggle spilled from my lips; I was just happy he was smiling again and not so down.
"I'm gonna head back inside, it's too bright out here for me."
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go back too; it's cold."
"Not my fault you're sitting on the wet grass."
"You were too, Mr. Sass. "
"Eh, the cold doesn't bug me. " He floated up off the ground, offering me a hand to help me stand. I gratefully took the offer, the sore muscles in my legs straining. Making our way back to the porch, the silence was peaceful and welcome. He opened the door for me, jabbing that I would break it too. I swatted his arm again, entering the nicely warm house, the cool breeze behind me being shut out by the closing door.
"You should go get changed."
"Huh? Why? " I looked down at my clothes, not seeing an issue. Ben only laughed again.
"Go do a turn around in a mirror. I'll see ya later. " He waved before floating through the air like a slinking cat, disappearing around the corner and into the TV in the living room.
With knitted brows, I made my way back to my room, taking care not to also break my bedroom door, quickly spotting that the bathroom door was already repaired. Upon entering and turning the light on, I did what Ben had said, turning around in the mirror and looking myself over. The backside of my shorts were soaked through, the gray fabric now a much darker shade, the cloth sticking to my skin in a tight outline. My face felt hot.
"That bastard... " I mumbled under my breath, finding my way to the closet and stripping down, grabbing a new set of clothes, a simple black t-shirt and matching leggings. He was right , though ; it was my fault for sitting on wet grass.