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“You mouthy, sneaky little—,” Funny snarled, jerking up from the seat and lunging at Diego whom jumped away just seconds ago. Scarcely avoiding being snatched.
It was beautiful in a way to witness how Diego danced around him. Placing the low sweeping coffee table in between them like a flimsy barrier decorated with fine china. Those pretty blue eyes narrowed in icy defiance, staring down at him like he was something disgusting stuck to the bottom of his boot.
It was impossible not to find it attractive. Someone willing to talk down to him like he was some peasant scum and not a well respected veteran and the President of America willing to do whatever it took for his country to prosper. Though what should he have expected from a man born and raised in England.
Funny straightened, reminiscences of his step father’s straight back and square shoulders bled into the rigidness carved into his skin. Slowly, he stepped forward like how one would approach a frightened, cornered dog. “Be a good boy and stop this utter nonsense this instant. I’ll be willing to ignore, perhaps even forgive, your transgressions if you do.”
Diego snorted. Matching each step forward with one of his own backwards. Never letting the space between them to grow any shorter nor longer. “I don’t believe you. Politicians always go back on their word. You’ll sweet talk and beg for my compliance and when I give it, you’ll take what you want and give nothing in return.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve met someone so cocky and sure of themselves.” Funny lunged again. Diego used his smaller size to his advantage and slipped just barely out of reach into the alcove. In a seeming act of outrage, Funny firmly grabbed the top of the buffet and jerked hard enough to make it creak dangerously. Sending it crashing down in a crash of broken glass and splintering wood as it busted open on impact. Spilling broken china into the grooves of the hardwood floor. “I’m a man of my word, Diego. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t have bothered wasting my time propositioning you if I didn’t believe you desired me back.”
Diego didn’t move from his spot. Standing stock still with wide eyes and a curious flush tinting his cheeks. Startled at the show of strength as the solid mass of oak wasn’t just a small thing to move without so much as a sweat. D4C’s hidden hand assisted but only a Stand user would have seen.
Funny waited. Mentally reeling in all his restraint not to act when his partner’s head was no longer in the game.
Come on. Double down. Fight him like he wanted. Like he desired. Be stubborn and snap back because Diego’s an arrogant and selfish bastard at heart. This is nothing compared to the real thing. It’s all foreplay. Just for show.
But he also didn’t want to end the game yet.
Funny stepped closer. Close enough to cup Diego’s cheek in his palm, practically dwarfing his face and huh— He was so much smaller, wasn’t he? Whispering lowly, “I won’t hurt you on purpose.”
Scarlet would kill him if he did.
Diego leaned into his hand and Funny kissed him sweetly. Lazily brushing their tongues together. A slow dance with no desire to rush. Diego tasted of coffee, rich and earthy, and the reason why he can’t drink coffee during a meeting without getting aroused.
Parting, “I’ll give you thirty seconds to run.”
All the gorgeous defiance came flooding back in an instant. Slapping his hand away with a scowl that pleased Funny on a deep level. Diego forcefully grabbed him by the front of his jacket and smashed their lips together, making their noses bump uncomfortably. Licking into his mouth hot and desperate like he was deprived and kissing him would grant him salvation.
Just like him not to play to the rules and instead bend them towards his favor.
Funny let himself be shoved down onto the bay window seat. Landing heavily with his lap full of a beautiful jockey. Groaning into the younger man’s mouth, Funny grabbed roughly at his hips in silent but obvious encouragement to grind against him.
“Make me, asshole.” Diego spat out in a heaving breath.
“I should bound and gag you, you fucking slut.” Funny growled.
“Go to hell.”
Diego was gone in an instant. Ducking into a hallway and slamming the door. Funny heard the click of a lock. There was always another way around and this was his home he’s lived in for over a decade. Diego went towards his office, but the hall connecting the bedrooms ran back through to his office. It was just a matter of getting around there before Diego could lock anymore doors.
Though, if he really wanted, he could just break the door down. Solid wood or not, it was easy to force one open. But he’d rather avoid breaking anything else. Already his day tomorrow was going to be busy with sending things to another world to replace the things he broke. Scarlet was going to laugh knowing of the mess left behind.
Funny stood, taking the time to strip off his coat and undershirt along with his gloves and abandoning them on a nearby chair as he passed. The air tickled at the scars on his back. Overly sensitive to nearly everything. Annoyingly so.
Diego hid well. Unsurprising as the jockey usually avoided his staff on a good day. But it was still maddening that it was taking so long to find him. He had to be quick. Scarlet would be back soon along with the guards. She’d done a good job convincing them they were needed more for her meeting than with him. Something he encouraged as he didn’t want anyone interfering with them tonight. He doubted it would have went over well if they assumed a physical argument had broken out between them.
Fifteen minutes of searching led him down one too many halls for his patience and by the time he saw Diego cautiously glancing over his shoulder, he’d had more than enough.
“You shouldn’t have let your guard down.” Funny called out in a taunt. Condescending as he purposely announced himself.
They had a stand off, staring each other down from across the low partition wall before Funny suddenly sprung forward, fingertips grazing Diego’s sweater before the jockey wrenched away. Funny’s immediate reflex was to grab his gun but he had purposefully left it in his nightstand partnered with the one already inside. Knowing damn well he would have attempted to shoot in a reflex he’d never quite gotten rid of. His stepfather had drilled it into him to act first and ask questions later.
Without being ordered, D4C shimmered to life and knocked Diego off balance. Tripping him and making him stumble into a nearby door. He’s never seen a more adorably bewildered look on the jockey’s face as the door seemingly opened by itself and he fell backwards with an alarmed yelp.
Catching Diego by the wrist, Funny used their combined momentum to spin him around and shove him down onto the bed. By the crimson comforter it was Scarlet’s room. Funny used his weight to his advantage to pin Diego down. Forcing his hips into the mattress to prevent him from getting the leverage required to buck him off.
“Get the bloody hell off me!” Diego shrieked. Far more distressed then he should have been.
“You’re alright. The door just wasn’t properly latched,” Funny stated. “Game’s over. I win.”
Diego stilled, going tense before relaxing so dramatically he sunk into the bed. His heart was beating like a frantic rabbit in his chest. “Fucking hell— that scared the shit out of me.”
Funny chuckled, kissing his lips in mock apology.
“Isn’t this Scarlet’s room?”
Funny kissed his jaw. Brushing away his golden hair from his neck and tugging his sweater down and pressed a firm kiss to his neck. “She won’t mind. Trust me.”
She’d probably get off on it knowing they had sex on her sheets and on her bed.
Scraping his teeth along his neck caused Diego to shiver. Hips twitching as Funny licked over his skin and bit down. Diego let out a long moan, arching up into him. Erections brushing tantalizingly together. Nothing more than a light tease of a promise for something more.
Wordlessly drawing away, Diego blinked at him dumbly before understanding dawned in his eyes as Funny unbuckled the jockey’s belt to get his pants off. Diego followed his lead, stripping off his sweater and leaving himself bare. Funny only undid the top button of his own pants, having forgone underwear.
Grabbing the lube out of the nightstand and dropping it beside Diego’s head, Funny crawled back over his eager jockey. Long hair draped over his face, tickling at Diego’s skin where it brushed against his neck and chest.
It was hot how he hovered over him like he wanted to consume and own him.
Diego’s cheeks were flushed crimson, all the way to the tips of his ears. He could practically feel the heat radiating off his skin.
“I don’t think I tell you enough how adorable you are.” Funny told him, tossing his hair over his shoulder where it rested over his scars.
“Shut up.” Embarrassment creeped down his neck.
“Make me, brat.”
Diego glared, shoving his fingers into his mouth without so much as a warning. Funny’s brows raised, exhaling out a laugh and grabbed Diego’s wrist, sucking at the fingers in his mouth. It was cute how Diego’s eyes widened in surprise and how much redder he got.
The jockey shivered underneath him as he licked between his fingers. Drawing his tongue slowly between them, letting the texture of his tongue tease at his fingertips.
“You call me a whore but I think having someone dominate you turns you on more.”
Diego would never know the restraint and self control it took to keep him proper around him. Especially when he made those sounds he loved hearing just a tad too much to be healthy.
Pulling away with a wet ‘pop’. Funny smiled, nearly cruel. “I enjoy things that are difficult to get. There wouldn’t be a point if everything was handed to you.”
“If you want to fuck me, you aren’t getting political.” Diego sharply warned.
“I’m not.” Funny reassured, popping open the oil and dipping his fingers inside. “Do you really think so little of me?”
Diego snorted in faux amusement. “What do you think?”
Funny never graced him with a response. Instead prodding teasingly at his entrance. Enough to get Diego to squirm and curse softly before pushing two fingers inside down to his knuckle. Diego whined as he stretched him open. Hips twitching and unable to keep himself still. All hot and warm inside.
He couldn’t wait to fuck him senseless. Maybe even make him cry.
“I’d put a pillow under your hips but Scarlet would actually kill us for staining her pillowcases.” They were a gift from some lady she fancied back in her twenties that passed away. He hasn’t seen another woman hold her undivided attention captive since then.
Diego waved him off. Eyes closed in bliss as he let out little sounds that had his dick throbbing in interest inside the tight confines of his pants. Funny watched his face for a moment. Filing away the furrow of his brow and the slight parting of his pink lips as he sighed and moaned softly. He was flushed all the way down to his chest. A heathy red color that highlighted the freckles dusted across his cheeks.
Diego was admired by many. Both for his skill and his looks. But no one else would get the pleasure to see him squirm on their fingers or cock so long as he was his. That familiar curl of possessiveness flared deep in his chest. A playful thing that promised danger if pushed and tested too far.
Funny shook his head, throwing the thought away and leaning down to kiss the wet and angry tip of Diego’s cock before taking him down his throat, nosing at the base as he swallowed around him. Diego groaned, reflectively jerking his hips before thinking better of it and stilling with a hand burying itself into Funny’s blond hair. Nails scratched at his scalp and Funny encouraged it, intertwining their fingers and urging him on.
It was so easy to make Diego into an utter mess and Funny loved every second of it.
“Valentine—“ Diego cursed and Funny hid the way it affected him by adding another finger and cruelly rubbing at his prostate to give him more to listen to.
The moan he got was absolutely whorish and he had no shame in admitting he was selfish like that. Adding another finger was apparently the tipping of his breaking point.
“Come on, Valentine,” Diego whined, all high pitched in the back of his throat. Impatient tears glittered in his bottom lashes. “I thought you were going to fuck me. I can leave and fuck myself if you aren’t going to do anything.”
A threat. A pathetic one at that but Funny obeyed nonetheless. Pulling off his cock with an overly wet sound, letting it hit Diego’s tense stomach with the taste of precome on his tongue.
“If that’s what you want.”
Diego wrapped his arms around his neck. Snug enough that it felt like he was trying to choke him. Fumbling with his pants, he judged his lack of foresight of keeping them on instead of getting rid of them entirely, the additional fabric only made him hot. The barest touch to his dick had him suppressing a groan.
He couldn’t help himself from teasingly dragging the head of his cock against Diego’s hole. Diego truly looked like he was going to stab him. Funny smirked at the sheer frustration burning in his eyes but didn’t test him to the end of his patience.
If a day came where he didn’t bask in that utterly whorish moan Diego let out when he slid inside, it’d be wise to put a bullet in him. He could become deaf and forget what everything else sounded like except that beautiful sound.
Though the way Diego arched and threw his head back in pleasure was another beast entirely. Funny’s hands found Diego’s lithe waist as he rolled his hips into his jockey’s tight heat. Diego was so much smaller than him. Something he found unfortunately fascinating. He was the perfect height to tuck underneath his chin and not obstruct his view when he was working. Diego wasn’t delicate, he’d stab him in the back if he thought it would side in his favor, but what was the fun of having a lover you hid from the public if they weren’t a little dangerous?
Try as he might, Diego could never hide how he reacted. It was embarrassing how reactive he was. Always too loud and too responsive to the brushes against his prostate as Funny’s cock slipped deeper inside and almost seemed to hit his stomach. Making his gut curl in something akin to sick.
It felt deliciously good and only made him louder.
He moaned directly into Valentine’s ear, half and clipped as the air was forced out of his lungs. The hands on his hips tightened. Down right bruising. Funny was fucking him hard and deep, thrusting hard and fast and pulling out slowly. It was driving Diego insane.
“Aww,” Funny breathed out against his neck. Kissing almost lovingly at his skin. “You look so pretty taking me. You’d look even better with your greedy British hole stuffed with my semen.”
Diego couldn’t help but whine. A desperate sound that made Funny hot all over.
“Would you like that? Stuffed with me? I’d breed you until you bless me with a child if your body allowed it. Breed you full until you’re oozing it then push it back inside even when I knew you’ve taken.”
In a fit of burning embarrassment, Diego hid his face into Funny’s collarbone with a hitching moan as Valentine got horny from his own words and fucked him that much harder.
“Oh, come now, don’t be like that.” Funny cooed sweetly in his ear. “You’d look beautiful all fat and plump with my child. I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. I’d have you everywhere you’d let me, the dining table, my office, hell— even in some back alley where anyone could stumble upon us. You couldn’t leave me then. If you did, I’d hunt you down and drag you back to where you belong.”
His train of thought was abruptly cut off by Diego tightening around him to an almost painful extent. Funny cursed underneath his breath and was graced by the most beautiful whine he’s ever heard the jockey make. The sheer desperation in it nearly had him coming like an inexperienced teenager.
Diego slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes going comically wide in shock at the sound and going so red he put roses so deeply to shame they should have been renamed in that instance. Funny stared dumbly at him for a long moment before his face broke into a vicious smirk of someone who just learned something they desperately shouldn’t have.
“Do you like the thought, pretty boy? Like the idea of me claiming you as my own?” Funny asked though he didn’t expect an answer as he stared at his throat.
It was bare and he half a thought to choke him. He’d struggle against the pressure against his throat, scraping the fresh wounds on his back against the jagged rock and dirt. A deep ache would form in his lungs and his eyes would roll backwards at the feeling of being suffocated as black spots danced across his vision and his face felt like it was set on fire. Strong fingers flexing against his throat, painfully crushing his adam’s apple before being abruptly let go and choking so hard on that first inhale that it made him cough.
Funny buried his hand in the sheets instead. Kissing his neck almost in apology. “No one else can give it to you like I can. And you take me so damn well. It’d be a shame to train someone else to take my cock.”
The sound of skin slapping against skin and the wet squelch of being fucked so throughly was significantly less embarrassing then listening to his own moans and sounds of pleasure, which were thankfully muffled by an eager tongue forcing itself down his throat.
Warm lips molded seamlessly against his own, small noises slipped out as his back arched and his stomach boiled in warmth. The rhythm of Funny’s hips faltered, the head of his cock slammed abruptly into Diego’s sweet spot causing him to squeal.
Diego would died of mortification if he wasn’t so close to coming. He was so hard it hurt and his dick was leaking copious amounts of precome into the trembling dip of his abdomen like a broken fountain. He would have reached down to touch himself if he had been none the wiser. Funny loved it when he came just from his prick. And damn did he think it was hot himself when he did.
It had been Diego that broke the sloppy kiss, saliva seeped out the corners of his mouth as he tried to get air back into his lungs. The thin string connecting them snapped, speckling against Diego’s bruised lips as Funny buried his face into his neck. Seemingly not able to get enough of him.
“Funny! Fuck, Funny— I’m gonna come—“ Diego whimpered. Fisting his hand through Valentine’s hair. Occasionally bits would tickle against his face.
“Then come for me,” Funny murmured, stroking his fingers through Diego’s sweaty, golden hair. “Come on, pretty boy. Keep moaning my name like that. You sound like you’re enjoying yourself and it turns me on so much.”
A heel shoved into his back, further knocking him off rhythm as the coil in his gut snapped. Funny came with a groan, flooding the twitching hole of his lover with warmth as he came down from his high. The sensation of humid, sticky semen smearing against their stomachs was joined by Diego moaning in his ear. He lazily rocked his hips back and forth until Diego pushed him away, muttering breathlessly about being too sensitive.
Funny was quick to drag Diego into a messy kiss, dropping to place his forearms on either side of Diego’s head as their lips slid against each other in a press that was mostly lips and lazy tongues.
Funny still takes care of him after because he knows this takes a lot out of Diego. That and he’d rather not have the jockey upset with him tomorrow for leaving him a mess. Diego might like being talked and fucked like a whore, but he didn’t like being treated like one.
Diego snuggled into his chest. Grunting softly when he tried to move him.
“Come on, dear,” Funny breathed out in that southern accent he hid like the paramour he loved out of sight of prying eyes. Sitting up with his arms wrapped snug around him. “Let me get you cleaned up.”
Valentine scooped him up like he weighed nothing, which Diego found simultaneously embarrassing and hot as hell.
Funny cleaned him up drew them a bath as they’re both sweaty and tired from running through the house. Well, Funny is, he’s not as young as Diego and certainly didn’t have as much energy. It was a rare day when Diego was still a clingy puddle after being cleaned up and pampered with some fancy, sweet smelling soap Scarlet gifted him.
Mike O. nearly shit a brick seeing the aftermath of the house. Furniture was pushed over and flipped onto its side. Silverware littered on the floor and the heavy buffet that took several grown men to move was lying flat on the ground with delicate porcelain shattered along with the glass keeping it dust free.
Scarlet tried to calm him down but hell had already broken loose. All of the president’s men lost their mind, and Blackmore was immediately ordered to stay with Scarlet for her safety.
Thinking the worst, they burst into the bathroom, still hot with steam, where Diego is sitting atop the counter with Funny completely undressed and still dripping water. He glanced back at them.
Diego, whom’s never felt a single ounce of shame in his life, waved. A small, pleased smirk playing on his lips.