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It felt as if the skies had opened up to drop their own tears upon the memorial, echoing the emotions of Yuu's teenage cousin Misaki. He felt awkward, unable to be a part of the funeral, but forced to wait outside the circle of mourners so he could be ready to ease her suffering.
His cousin looked completely lost as she gazed upon the photos displayed on the wooden tri-stands by the fresh graves. Graves which held no bodies within and never would. A phantom funeral. The others outside the family had left some time ago, even the quiet Ruka parting with one last sad look at the small photos and now the Asou family procession departed to their respective cars. He would be joining them after for the ceremony to ensure their loved ones spirits were properly at rest.
“She died because of me.” The words surprised Yuu, bringing him out of sullen numbness that his mind was lost in so he could cope with his own feelings of loss. Instincts made his feet move without thinking, bringing him to his cousin’s side and he put a hand on her shoulder. It was times like this that made him glad for the close connection which existed between the two. They were not twins but the closeness of age, and the amount of time they spent together when they were younger, simulated such a connection.
Misaki turned her face up, welcoming the rain before Yuu raised the umbrella to cover the both of them. She glanced back at him, her eyes glassy, asking for a help which he was not sure he could give her. He would try though. For her. The confusion she was giving off was unnerving so he held tight onto her thin shoulder and tried to move his own calming energies toward her.
Dark eyes, glassy and empty like a doll’s, stared at him. Seeing but not seeing, not feeling the squeeze which his young hand delivered to her shoulder in an attempt to wake her up. The doctors said she would be like this for a while, he could still hear the man’s words coming from the downstairs room. His Uncle’s raised voice was repeating his refusal to let her out of the house, to never allow her out of their family's sights and, finally, a vow to never send her to some hospital. Not again. Never again. The family could not lose her again.
Yuu took his eyes from the stairs to look back at Misaki, almost drawing back when he noticed the empty eyes had not moved. She was so empty. No feelings, no thoughts. She was like an empty jar waiting to be filled. An empty vessel.
“You’re doing it again.” Her words were quiet but barbed with annoyance at his neglect. He missed that bossiness and air of superiority she always gave off, even when she spoke to loved ones. Scowling, Misaki raised her hand to take his off away from her shoulder but she did not let go completely. Her fingers threaded through his as the scowl slowly faded.
Her small hand was warm in his, the young girl pulling him from his comfortable corner to explore the outside world. Her head turned, a devious smile on her lips as they crept through the old house. Their young feet were like feathers dusting across the wooden floorboards. Misaki knew which spot creaked so she directed his every move, the only sounds echoing through the house being the hiss of directions from his cousin.
“Misaki…” He left his memories, squeezing her hand gently as his umbrella shielded her from the rain. “About the funeral.”
She shook her head, not wanting to face it just yet. Her hair whipped this way and that before her dark eyes focused on his. He could see the truth there, wanting to come out but she was too scared to admit it. His precious cousin was scared. Misaki was scared and barely concealing it.
The moon was bright, shining through the dark clouds to bring light into the tiny room they were sharing in the old house. Yuu blinked the sleepiness from his eyes, rolling onto his side to watch the figure standing in front of the window. Her small face was turned up, welcoming the moonlight and her lips were parted in an expression of pure joy. There was something wrong. He pushed the blankets off himself and climbed out of bed to approach Misaki. If the adults came in to see them awake there would be a scolding coming. Yuu untied the bows on the curtain, watching as they swung forward to hide the moonlight. Maybe a dark room would help Misaki sleep.
Yuu had not expected Misaki to fall down like she did, tears escaping along with a shrill scream. She shook her head this way and that, calling for him to give it back before her body was thrown forward to hit his in a temper. He wrapped his arms around her, his mind still catching up from the shock of her panic and the confused anger coming from her. He tightened his grip on her, holding her in a hug and panicking as he heard the hurried footsteps of adults coming to their room. Small fingernails dug into his skin and when her face turned up there was fear in her eyes.
“Give it back. Give it back. Give it back.”
She was still muttering those words, clawing at him in an attempt to seek out the moon, when his aunt found them.
“You’re scared.” Yuu’s thumb stroked the back of her hand in a calming pattern. In his mind he pictured a cloud of blue calm enveloping them both. He needed to be as gentle as the rain if he was going to be successful. “Misaki…”
“No.” She shook her head again, closing her eyes and trying to pull away from him. Fear emanated from her so he continued to push forward, projecting his feelings toward her. Except the sadness. She had enough sadness for the both of them. “Don’t. Don’t do this…”
“Misaki, you can’t keep doing this. You need to stop blaming yourself.” The grounds were empty, leaving just the two of them standing in the rain. He glanced down to look at his footsteps in the mud, sighing before looking up at her again. “You need to move on.”
“No.” The word was forceful as those dark eyes narrowed, glaring and her body language giving off a defiant air. His thumb stopped moving, his hand stopped squeezing hers and soon he extricated it from her grip. Her face twisted into one of panic as she tried to grab his hand back but he raised it in a ‘stop’ gesture.
“Stop it!” Yuu stood his ground, his small frame raised straight in defiance. “Bring her back!”
His aunt looked at him with pity before kneeling in front of him so they could meet eyes on an equal level. Behind her Misaki was tucked into a car and the door shut before Yuu could meet her eyes. His aunt laid a hand on his head, petting his hair.
“Yuu, Misaki’s very ill so she’s going away to get better. When she gets back she’ll be well again and the two of you can play just like you used to.”
“Promise?” His eyes were pleading and he felt like he was drowning. Misaki was sick. She went missing every night and could often be found outside, staring up at the moon. When she was pulled away she screamed and cried, sometimes clawing at others and sometimes clawing at herself. It had started once a month, then became once a week, and it was only increasing as time went on. The visiting doctor had insisted that the only way for her to get better was to stay in his hospital for a while so their family had pulled strings to allow her to become a live in patient at the hospital.
“I promise. When she comes back she’ll be our Misaki again. So be a good boy and be patient.”
Not all the patience in the world had brought HIS Misaki back. She had come back an empty doll, lost to all emotions and a stranger in their family's world. She no longer tugged him out of his corner, dragged him through the hills nearby on one of her ‘adventures’ or gave him that devious smile which meant trouble for them both. The adults treated her as if she was fragile, always ready to break, and by the time she was displaying something close to her normal temperament Yuu and his family had moved away.
“Yuu.” Misaki broke the silence between them and he smiled at the look on her face. She was defiant, daring him to say what needed to be said but needing it. He was not sure how long he had stood in silence, lost in his memories but she seemed to have caught on. That was good. “About what happened on the island…”
“I know. Ruka told me everything.” Yuu placed his hand on her cheek and her features softened, the defiance melting away into a calm acceptance. The blue fog evaporated, no longer needed, and Yuu caressed her cheek. His precious cousin. He wished they could go on one more adventure together. “Madoka’s waiting for you. If you feel like you owe her… follow her. Be with her. It’s all she ever wanted.”
For the first time in years Yuu noticed the way her lips twitched before forming a small contented smile. The rain had stopped and the sunlight could be seen through the clouds, rays washing through his cousin's form. Misaki held his hand to her cheek for another moment before lowering it away from her. She leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek. His Misaki was leaving him again but this time he knew they would play together again.
“Thank you.”
Yuu sat up in his bed, a sad smile on his lips as he looked forward into the darkness. His mind held onto the image of a funeral he had never attended but somehow knew had occurred. As he lay back on the bed, readying himself for sleep he held onto one mental image to fight the sadness away. On the wooden shrine his precious cousin’s photograph had stood next to her friend Madoka’s, a thin red thread tying the two pictures together at the base, and somehow Yuu knew they had moved on together.