Chapter Text
Being Ours, Means We’re Yours Too Chapter One
She was never going to be alone again. She was staying with Bobby and Athena while she adjusted to being connected to a pack again. The third time Bobby answered a question before she asked it and Athena brought her a blanket before she realized that she was cold, she sighed with exasperation. It had been so long since she’d been linked to anyone, that being taken care of made her twitchy. She had forgotten the etiquette within her own mind.
“You know we aren’t bothered,” Bobby said, sitting in the armchair across from her. “It’s actually nice to get a peek in there.”
“I don’t want to be giving you all a running commentary on my life, by accident.” Elle said, frowning.
“It’s not quite that,” Bobby said, tilting his head and looking at her thoughtfully. “I actually expected it to be more than commentary. Your surface thoughts are the ones you’re broadcasting. You’re a bit hungry, your foot itches, etc. Other than the initial rush of emotion at the ceremony, I’m not getting much about your state of mind. You’re obviously not worried as inferred by the nature of the surface thoughts, and I know you’re closer to joy than contentment. But there is a separateness.”
“Karen and Maddie say it there’s a scar from before.” Elle shifted in her seat on the couch.
“That makes sense. I don’t know that it’s everything though.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s a barrier, sure. I can feel that. Even though you are sharing those surface thoughts, it’s like the rest of you has bypassed the usual spaces.”
“How many lone wolves have you brought into the pack?” Elle asked after a moment.
“I was one when I got here to LA. Everyone’s kinda been picked up along the way. Some transferred, others had already left their former packs. Though I guess only Buck was without a pack for anywhere near as long as you.”
“He always had Maddie,” Elle smiled softly. “Even if they were apart, or not speaking, the connection was still there. He wasn’t truly alone. Even if he felt that he was.”
“And you were.”
She wasn’t sure if the block eased or if her emotions were still strong enough to come through it, because the old pain was immediately smothered in fierce comfort. It was as if everyone was hugging and protecting her at once. It brought tears to her eyes. She took a deep breath and sent soothing thoughts of her own. “I had to… become a pack of 1.”
“You didn’t let it make you bitter or angry either, like rogues often do.” Bobby said.
“Probably because I’m female and omega,” Elle said, her tone self-deprecating.
Stop that. The sending came from Maddie and Buck both. Another sign she was broadcasting to the others.
Maddie continued, When I was a nurse I saw wolves, male or female, who lost their packs and had gone mad, no matter their status or how it happened. You survived, against the odds.
And we won’t stand for Elle slander, especially from you. Buck added. His sendings came with a touch of gold, no matter the emotion.
“It is annoying difficult to duck away in embarrassment when you’re in my head.” Elle said, blushing.
Aww that’s so cute that you thought you could hide. Hen sent.
“Not hiding,” Elle said, “It’s just I had a long time staying invisible to avoid the judgement or danger of others. Being seen is an adjustment.”
“That’s what we’re here for,” Athena said. “To help you adjust and grow into the woman we already see.”
“Today, that means practicing keeping those surface thoughts to yourself, for your comfort. You might not want all of us to know you want a burrito for lunch.” He grinned. Elle blushed again, having thought just that. “The rest, the emotions, the healing, will come in time. We just might bug you a bit for clarification if we get something from you that we can’t decipher without more information.”
“I can work with that,” Elle said. They spent the rest of the afternoon, after burritos for lunch, practicing keeping her thoughts from the part of her that reached for the others. It was like the scar hid her heart, but everything else was right there in front.
“That’s what I struggled with too,” Athena said, as they made dinner together that night. “I had always been alone in my head of course, as a human. Letting first Bobby, and then the rest in, was scary and hard. I’m a naturally private person. There were definite growing pains, and I made sure that I figured out blinders before we even invited the kids. Helping them work through it, when May was finishing high school? That was an experience.”
“Oh gracious, I hadn’t even thought about blinders yet.” Elle groaned. I apologize in advance! She sent to everyone. Laughter rolled back through and had her grinning into the focaccia dough she was working on. She and Bobby were comparing recipes. He was making a classic Italian herb to go with their dinner, and she was trying an apple cinnamon dessert version.
“We can get together with Karen and Maddie,” Athena suggested. “Between their knowledge of your situation and my experience with the adjustment, we should get you settled quick enough.”
They set up the couch for Elle to spend the night. While it was unlikely to fade, Bobby wanted to make certain the claiming took before sending her out into the world again. They would have to be back at work in the morning, but she had an ‘extra’ uniform in her car so that wouldn’t be a problem. Everyone else had gone to bed, and Elle was looking out into the backyard, marveling at the cluster of stars that was the pack. It was late, but her mind felt too full to sleep.
She singled one out from the rest and tried to send direct. Testing?
Am I a new sound system? Buck asked instantly, amusement that glittered coming with it before splashing against the barrier and fading.
Elle smiled into the dark. Essentially. I’m practicing. Are you the only one that got that?
I think so. Eddie didn’t even blink.
Okay trying something else. Concentrating, she shifted her focus to another star. Blink twice if you can hear me.
I did and now Buck is laughing at me. Eddie’s tone was dry, and just like with Buck, his sending came with something more, a rosy warmth as if she’d sipped hot chocolate on a cold morning.
He didn’t get that? Elle asked excitedly.
He says no. Practice going well?
Trying one more thing Feeling a bit like she was weaving thoughts like yarn, Elle tugged Testing again?
Oh impressive! Came to her as pride wrapped in gold.
Look at you. A flash of warm delight Knew you could do it.
Bobby is the only other one I can send direct to unless they establish the link first, or we’re physically touching. And I couldn’t add anyone. It’s odd, but with you just now, it was as easy as stepping into a room together.
Interesting came from both, making her laugh softly.
Maybe because you’re on the same wavelength? She teased.
Or we all are Buck’s sending had a thoughtful air.
Buck and I could sync up and work together, barely talking before I even joined the pack. Drove Chim nuts. Once I did, it was just as you said. Stepping into a room together. Maybe it’s like that? Eddie suggested.
Maybe. Elle thought for a moment. Might as well tell them the rest. I don’t know if this is related to that or my scarring, but do you get colors, or sensations from the others when they send to you?
Not always, but it’s like a bit of their personality comes through with the words. Are you not getting that? She could practically see Buck taking notes to use for research on her behalf.
I did before, along with all the emotions. Now the emotions meet a wall before I feel them. I can read some of them, but usually that’s based on their tone. Nothing else. She felt nervous all the sudden. Except with the two of you, and a bit with Christopher yesterday.
I’d say that’s related for sure. She got the distinct impression that Eddie had sat up straight to pay closer attention.
If you don’t mind me asking, what do you get with our sendings? Buck’s tone was openly curious. Yes I am taking notes by the way. You’ll think it’s not important enough to mention and forget about the difference otherwise. It might help you work on the rest.
This is where it could be awkward. Because sometimes what came with sending was highly personal. It could be something they don’t know they’re sending, or have been received in a way they didn’t intend. Her younger self had only ever discussed the phenomenon with her sisters. She didn’t think this would bother them, but she also didn’t know what it meant.
Eddie’s come with warmth and in shades of red. The higher the emotion, the darker the red. And Buck your sendings come with gold that glows or glitters, depending on your emotion too. There was no response from either of them, though she could still trace the connection, so she went on. Christopher when he was playing last night was like a bright orange poppy flower? Almost a blend of you now that I think about it. His wasn’t as consistent though, and I didn’t get any from him today the few times he checked in.
Most of the pack gets green from him Eddie told her, but it was said as though he was having a second conversation at the same time.
What do you get then? Elle asked
We both get orange too, with a little green, a bit like a California poppy now that I think about it. And it’s his favorite color. Buck answered this time. Eddie’s always giving me shots of hot chocolate. His amusement sparkled.
Elle blinked. That was how she had thought of Eddie’s sending earlier. Hot chocolate. To cover for any awkwardness that might come through, even though she hadn’t told them that, she teased, That makes sense, he is hotter than Dave. All that came from Buck was more glitter and she knew he was laughing.
Dios mío, lamento haber dicho algo. Nunca olvidarás a ese chico, ¿verdad? (Oh my God I'm sorry I ever said anything. You're never going to forget that guy now are you?) This time it was as if she felt him blushing.
Para ser honesto, Dave es menos una persona y más una comparación hipotética en este momento. (To be honest Dave is less a person and more of a hypothetical comparison at this point.) She giggled, pulled the blanket over her mouth, scanning the house to see if anyone had heard. There was no other sound.
I don’t know what either of you said, which is an unfair side effect of your awesomeness Elle, There was an extra glow with this one, and while she thought he would be annoyed, she couldn’t figure out what the emotion was. Eddie’s expressions are enough for me to get the gist. We aren’t abandoning Dave are we?
Your Dave lives on. Eddie sent with more warmth. Unfortunately.
Oh come on Eds, technically we are just saying that you’re hot. Buck teased. That can’t be too bad.
He was just such an idiot.
Elle was trying to send the laughter instead of doing it out loud, but she wasn’t sure it was working. Okay okay, dropping Dave for now, do you get anything when I send to you? I can’t tell really. They were both quiet and she worried she’d lost the connection. Guys?
A sunrise on a clear day. Buck sending glowed gold, the sparkle of his laughter disappearing in the glow.
Not so much the sun part. The lavender at the edge of the light. Eddie specified. The humor had left his tone too. The warmth that came with it settled in her face as a blush so hot she had an impulse to get a wet cloth from the kitchen. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, but it wasn’t being equated to a sunrise.
Oh… that’s um… every time?
There are levels Eddie’s sending seemed more careful, as if he wanted to be very clear. Like with Buck’s glow vs the glitter. I get that too. Though I always thought of it like a caramel drizzle rather than glitter. For you so far it ranges from dawn through to when the sun leaves the horizon.
That’s a lot more poetic and lovely than what I said. The wild thing was back in her chest only now they were in her head and she didn’t know for certain what they could read from her right now. She couldn’t define it, so they probably wouldn’t be able to either.
It suits you. Buck’s simple phrase made her want to cry.
She cleared her throat even though she could send fine with the lump there. You flatter me, but I thank you for it.
Can’t lie in here, Eddie reminded her, so long as we believe it.
She wondered what would happen if she told them now that the warmth that came from Eddie with his sending wasn’t only warmth, but sometimes it was arms that held her safe. Or that the gold from Buck could be liquid sunlight that flowed and stayed with her long after his sending faded. This was only 24 hours with the link and all that was with the barrier of the scar. That scared her a little when she thought about what could happen when they somehow healed or removed it.
Thank you then, for that and for letting me practice with you both.
You know how we love to help. If color could wink, his did.
At your service of course. We’ll see you in the morning at the station? Eddie seemed to have slipped into practicalities.
Where else would I be?
I don’t know why it seemed like a question. I think I didn’t get enough sleep after the moon crash.
Goodnight then boys. I will see you in the morning.
Goodnight Elle
Sleep sweet.
The connection faded and they went back to being stars in the pack cluster. She was nearly asleep when she remembered what Buck had said when they were teasing Eddie. That they were just saying Eddie was hot. Which was true, but it didn’t seem to bother him. It should have though. On the beach, when the women had been hitting on Eddie, he’d been bothered enough to step in and assert himself as Eddie’s mate. That was the natural and usual reaction. Not that she had been hitting on him. It was mostly just teasing. But she’d seen mates fight for less. Buck hadn’t. Between that and them both saying she felt like a sunrise was enough to keep her awake for a while longer.