Chapter Text
Laughter, eyerolls, and scoffs, the three usual responses to Sans’ jokes. It was a constant consequence he looked forward to every time he cracked one, and his skull itself was at risk of being cracked too should he keep it up with Edge.
It was worth it, though. His reactions were even funnier than Papyrus. Sure, he had to be saved by Red a few times, meaning Sans owed Red bottles of mustard equal to the amount of times his skull was not cracked open by Edge, but again, it was all worth it.
On the other hand, Pollo had the least interesting reaction from his jokes. He just stares sometimes. A blink or two if he's being generous, but, eh, Sans gets a win on the rare times he pulls a tiny smile from the shy skeleton.
His “cousins” aside, there were also the occasional happenstances with humans, where they look at him, nonplussed, as if they haven't heard a joke before in their whole life, which was pretty sad in itself, but the secret was to just throw in another joke or two and then their laughter would come rolling in.
It was a nice, momentary distraction from the pack of skeletons thrown at him and the bowl of worms they brought along with them. Sans didn't blame them, he couldn't, and thank the stars they didn't blame him too. This wasn’t any of their faults. Still, one would think they'd all be used to each other’s presence by this point, but sometimes, it still all felt like a big, fat joke. There were no words to explain how off it was seeing another version of himself or his brother, just standing there, existing, having their own autonomy, their own personality, similar yet different speech patterns, beliefs, and opinions.
It was no smoke and mirrors, he knew that, and, man, was it awfully jarring to process.
What’s not hard, though, at least, was making jokes. Yep. There was no need for guessing games, a whole blackboard chalk full of calculations and predictions that all ended down the drain anyway, pages worth of introductions, agreements, and rules he wasn't even sure was being maintained, and/or even any long term consequences no one knew would even be rectified by this point. With jokes, you just gotta tell the funnies, get the lols, and then you move onto the next pun and get more lols.
And then one time he failed to get the lols, or the eyerolls, and not even a little scoff. That one time, all he got was confusion.
A little exaggerated, sure, but it still happened.
It all began with Sans' buddy, chum, pal, and old colleague, Noel Sanchez. A cool dude, that one, with his funny mustache and pink, sparkly belts. He wore a new one every week and it matched well with Sans' beloved pink slippers, not that he wore them anywhere outside of the house, though, and that's where his sneakers would come in. Unlaced sneakers, might he add.
Anyway, it was a Sunday afternoon, and Noel was begging him to take over all his classes for the week, because his pregnant wife was going through labor early. Too early. Which was a bad thing, apparently. Or, at least, that's what he heard through all the panicked rambling Noel had with him on the phone. There was a promise of some financial compensation, not that he needed any, but, after some encouragement from his brother, and complete boredom in general, he relented. Plus, he owed Noel.
And, Sans had to admit, it was fun, teaching about the universe again. It's been a while, and he got to fool around while doing so too. Who knew a few dumb jokes about some glowing rocks in outer space were enough to bring in some smiles, chuckles, and amused eyerolls from a bunch of tired, college kids?
And then Wednesday came, and he was on his way to his last class of the day. Gerald, one of the faculty, was with him to introduce him in class, and that's when he met that student.
It was a human girl, her desk evidently empty save for her folded arms laid on top of it. Sans didn't want to stereotype, but compared to the others whose desks were piled with papers, notebooks, and laptops, and then the occasional coffee cups too, the girl reminded him of students who slept the class away, or scrolled through their phones, or whose eyes were aimed at the ticking clock on the wall the whole time. Students who did anything but pay attention.
She was one of those, wasn’t she?
On the contrary, though, a minute into his introduction, she was the first to raise her hand and point out his unlaced sneakers.
The girl aside, it was all going to plan. This wasn't the first time he “accidentally” forgot to tie his shoelaces, and it wasn't going to be the last time either. He planned to milk this joke until the end of the week, and so far, everyone everywhere in this university fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
“whoops. knot again,” he said, with arms raised in a shrug and a knowing grin on his face.
It received some chuckles, as to be expected. Some indifferent, the girl included, but that was about to change.
Or, at least, he thought it was.
He did his usual. The topic was black holes, that's a good one, and he threw in his jokes. hey, did ya'll know i dated a black hole once? don't really recommend it, they suck. no, stop laughing. i don't think you guys understand the gravity of the situation. some of you are rolling your eyes, but once you meet a black hole, i'm sure you'll understand why i was pulled in. they're really attractive y'know? just sucks they're not the brightest of the bunch.
He also received some scoffs, like usual, of course. Can't please anyone, right? Yeah. What he did not anticipate, though, was the obvious confusion from the girl who refused to take notes, not even when he told them to remember Hawking's black hole theory because it will definitely be on the exams.
He didn't know what was going to be on the exams, obviously, since he was just a sub in, but it sure was funny seeing the majority of the class fumbling for their pens and notebooks and scribbling what he said in panic.
The girl did not do that, of course, but she did nod, three times, as if that was enough for her to remember it.
Was she like a black hole? From how dense she was? From how not-bright she's being?
But, that's the thing, she wasn't exactly dense, because she was catching up pretty well topic wise. Sans was just explaining the theory, he hadn't even introduced whose it was yet, but he could already see her mouthing off Stephen Hawking's name before he could say it to the whole class, and not once did her eyes even leave him or the whiteboard, but the moment he cracked a single joke, she'd look around the room and stare at her laughing classmates in total befuddlement, as if she didn't understand why they were laughing.
Sans tried hard, because surely she'd understand at least one joke. She had to. Surely. Yeah. He tried an internet meme reference, because people are always on their phones nowadays, right? Nope, that's a bust. Well, how about a simple knock knock joke, then? Nah, no reaction. Okay, well, what about the stars? They rock. Get it? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge? Still nothing? Dang.
Eventually, he gave up, and focused on finishing up class instead. The reaction from the rest of the class was great, at least, all except for one.
He tried not to think about it too much. Next week Noel would be handling them again anyway, and he's just gonna be that one sub in skeleton professor who made dumb jokes in their astronomy class.
Did he expect the girl to approach him after class ended? Nope. Did he still crack another joke knowing what the end result was? Yeah. Did he see her lack of amusement coming but still got his ego hurt anyway? Totally not. But, did he at least get some answers? Thankfully, yes.
So, uh, of course she wouldn't get ‘the stars rock’ joke, the girl lived under one.
Sans won't even begin to think about all the ironies of that statement. There were too many. Add that and all the questions swarming in his skull at the fact that a human girl did not know what a joke was yet knew what blackholes were, and Sans would rather just sleep it all off.
So that's what he did. After exchanging numbers with the kid—a little unprofessional, but, hey, it's still technically education related, just not one he had a license for, but who needs a license to teach comedy, right?—he went to the faculty office, gathered his things, shortcutted back to his room, and plopped down on his bed.
He's not sure yet if it was a good idea, but it was definitely funny. Plus, a new joke buddy wouldn't hurt, right?