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“So? What d’you think?”
Vox was playing with his drink, his nervous hands needing something to preoccupy themselves.
Ah yes, Vox’s offer.
Hmmm
From a business perspective, it made sense. The two of them become associates, working together as equals.
However, the issue stems from the rest of this arrangement.
“Al? You there?”
The television demon sat up on his barstool, waving an open palm in front of Alastor’s face before he gently pushed the other’s hand away from his face and onto the countertop.
“I’m sorry, old sport. I'm afraid I need a moment to wrap my head around your proposition. It’s not a simple yes-or-no question, you know.”
Vox was visibly taken aback, surprise etched into his screen. “Yeah, yeah of course take as much time as you need.” He turned to face forward at the bar, swirling the caramel brown-colored liquid in his glass. “D- do you need me to leave..?”
“Hmm, no I don’t believe that will be necessary. I only require another moment to gather my thoughts.”
“Ah…” his expression sunk further into one of despair.
Shit.
That was what Alastor was trying to avoid.
He would be the first to admit he’s not used to this. Alastor’d never been in a relationship before, not even in life (not that many hadn't tried). But it wasn't even necessarily the act of dating that put him on edge. It was what would become of their partnership should this relationship go askew, or worse, what would happen if he outright rejected Vox’s proposal here and now.
Although he would never admit it, Vox’s friendship truly did mean a lot to Alastor. He would miss it, should it end. And if he was genuinely honest with himself (he wasn't), he did feel something akin to affection for the man.
Fuck
There was only one right answer here, wasn't there?
“Vox.”
The flatscreen whipped his head towards the other man. His face was the definition of cautiously optimistic, he was hopeful but also knew there was a high probability of Alastor outright rejecting him.
Alastor took Vox’s hands in his. He spoke softly, “Vox, I would love to be your partner. Though-”
The TV’s eyes widened, cutting Alastor off by planting a kiss on his mouth. It was unexpected and awkward, but gentle; and loving. “Alastor…” Vox was breathless, dizzy with pleasure, and giddy in sheer joy.
The taller man responded by pulling them together for another kiss. Now, to say Alastor was ‘inexperienced’ would be the understatement of the decade. He’d never initiated a kiss before, and, unfortunately for Vox, that fact was very obvious.
The other sinner didn't seem to mind, however. He was simply delighted to feel Alastors mouth on his at all.
Yeah, ok, Alastor could get used to this.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Oh shit.
Alastor forgot about this part of relationships.
When Vox invited him to his bedroom, he assumed they would continue kissing in private (without the rest of the bar staring at them, some of them recording, others not even waiting, and just perversely staring and touching themselves). Perhaps they’d even sit together on his bed in each other's arms, Alastor certainly wouldn't veto that idea.
And admittedly, when they'd first arrived, it certainly seemed like that's where the night was going. Alastor sat on the edge of the bed, Vox straddling him and sitting on his lap, their bodies pressed against each other. Alastor wasn't sure if this was what the youths considered “making out,” but he certainly thought it was steamy. Not that he didn't enjoy it! No, no, quite the contrary actually. Vox was a good kisser, and Alastor considered himself a fast learner (something Vox had commented on earlier that night). Nonetheless, this was nice.
Alastor had his hands resting on Vox’s back, one covering his shoulder blades, the other on the small of his back. Vox preferred his hands to be exploring, however. His palms attempted to make contact with every inch of the sinner's torso and scalp, which was fine, so long as he didn’t pull too hard on his hair.
But as previously mentioned, this is not where the night ended. As unfamiliar as Alastor was with the act of having sex with someone (coupled with how infrequently he pleasured himself), he had been a teenager once. He understood how the body functioned. So, needless to say, when he felt one of Vox’s appendages begin to grow and stiffen against his abdomen, he was quick to open his eyes, grab the other man’s shoulders, and push him somewhat away.
Vox opened his eyes, blearily. The mind fog quickly cleared when he caught sight of Alastors serious expression. “Huh? What's wrong, Al?”
Alastors face soured, his eyes flicking quickly between Vox’s eyes and the growing… issue… in his pants.
Vox caught wind of what he was trying to say upon looking down at himself, the blush on his face grew tenfold. “I- I’m so sorry!! We don't have to do anything if you don't want to! It- it has a mind of its own, I'm so sorry.” he desperately tried to cover his face in shame.
Alastor sat with his thoughts for a moment.
He hadn't done anything like this with someone else and wasn't sure he was ready to do anything tonight. But looking at the sheer desire behind the other sinner’s eyes began to make Alastor rethink his stance. Despite everything, he didn't want to disappoint Vox.
“I- um.” Shit, why does he sound so nervous? Well, when all else failed, he turned to his tried-and-true method. Bluntness.
“I consent.”
“...What?” Vox raised an eyebrow.
“Was I not clear? I consent to the actions you wish to partake in to calm your carnal desires.” He spoke as though it was obvious and not like he was talking like an old-timey British barrister.
“I mean, I guess I understand what you mean. A- are you sure? I mean, I know you're not the biggest fan of this type of stuff.” he rubbed his hands together nervously, pointedly only looking into the other man’s eyes.
Alastor raised an eyebrow at his partner.
Vox sighed in resignation. “As long as you’re absolutely positive you want to go through with this and promise you're not just doing this for my benefit.”
Alastor laughed out loud at this. “Have you ever known me to do something I didn't want to, Picture Box?” he teased. By this point, his grip on the other’s shoulders had loosened significantly, drawing the two closer.
“Let’s just start slow… okay?”
Alastor responded by kissing Vox, his screen warm, and mouth somehow warmer.
The TV demon moved them on the bed so Alastors back was against the headrest, himself still on the other's lap, not breaking their kiss as they moved. At this moment, Alastor found himself thankful they had removed their jackets and shoes at the door. It was initially awkward, of course, and Vox had made a snarky comment about his hooves, but now that was one less article of clothing that had to be dealt with.
They continued kissing as Vox undid his tie, the radio demon moving his hands to do the same. Vox’s hands eventually drifted off of himself and began undoing Alastor’s shirt buttons, gently pushing him down so he was lying back on the bed, while he remained straddling his lap. After the first few buttons had been undone, Alastor visibly tensed as his fingers grazed his bare chest. Fuck, this was so new. Was it supposed to feel like this?
Vox took notice of Alastor’s tensing, and he stopped for a moment, looking down at him.
"Relax… you’re so on edge, just relax… let me take care of you."
His voice was as charming as ever, yet it felt soft and calming for once. He began to pepper light kisses along Alastors neck and collarbone, his hands running down his sides.
"Mmm," Alastor whimpered under Vox's mouth. He began to tremble harder the further down Voxs hands traveled.
Vox slowly began shifting Alastor’s shirt more out of the way, his hands now gently caressing his stomach, slowly rubbing along it.
"Relax, Deer."
Vox muttered against his skin, leaving another warm kiss against his collarbone.
"Ah! Stop, wait!" Alastor put a hand between them, sitting up straighter. "I- I need a moment. Please," he said between labored breaths.
Vox raised an eyebrow but obliged to Alastor's request. He stopped his actions but still stayed straddling his lap as he sat up.
"Is something wrong, love? You look quite.. flustered.”
He teased lightly, but his voice had a hint of genuine concern.
Alastor missed the worry in the other’s words. Vox wanted this. it was blatantly obvious. He had to do this for him. He couldn't lose him.
"I'm quite alright," he assured, steeling himself. "Okay, I'm ready. carry on." He confidently lied.
Vox raised an eyebrow at Alastor's false reassurance, but he decided to go along with it, for now. He shifted himself even closer against Alastor, his hands slowly beginning to move again.
"If you say so, hun… but just tap out if you need me to stop, alright?"
He slowly began to unbutton Alastor's pants, now moving to remove them entirely.
Alastors breath hitched forcefully as Vox pulled his pants off. He felt very exposed, both physically and emotionally. He wanted to even the score, so with a lightheaded expression, Alastor reached an arm up to tug at the other's shirt, trying to signal him to take it off.
Vox leaned forward a little, a mischievous smile forming on his face. He reached down, grabbed the bottom of his shirt, and began to take it off slowly, wanting to tease him a little bit in the process. Once it was finally off, he looked back at Alastor, a smirk still on his face.
"There. Now we're both equally exposed,”
"Mmm-mm" Alastor mumbled in defiance. "Pants."
Vox let out a soft scoff at Alastor’s simple remark. He raised an eyebrow, but couldn't help the smirk that was spreading across his face again. He reached down, unbuttoning and taking off his pants and tossing them aside, both of them now sitting in their boxers.
"There we go, now we’re even. You happy now-..."
Vox cut himself off as he noticed the stark difference between his and Alastors boxers. Vox had long since pitched a tent in his own underwear, whereas Alastor was as soft as the pillows he was currently lying on.
Alastor noticed the confused (and even a bit disappointed) expression on Vox's screen, and followed his gaze, realizing then exactly what he'd been looking at. "Um.." he wanted to explain himself but knew he couldn't.
Vox stayed silent for a moment, not quite sure how to react.
"Are... you not..."
He asked, his voice quiet and hesitant. He looked back at Alastor, his confusion still very present.
"Is.. something wrong, Al? Why are you not…” He trailed off, gesturing at his crotch. “...Like me?”
Well, fuck if that wasn't a question Alastor had been asking himself for decades now. why wasn't he like other men?
Alastor was about to attempt to explain himself when Vox's face suddenly lit up in understanding. "Oh!! do you have lady parts? I can work with that, I've eaten my fair share of boy-pussy-"
"Wh-What?! No!”
A flush of embarrassment quickly spread across Alastor’s face at the realization of the implication in Vox's words.
"No, I don’t- I don't have… those. I'm just... I'm not...."
He hesitated to speak for a moment, his voice now a bit more timid and embarrassed. He was caught off guard by the question and didn't know how to justify himself.
Alastor softly sighed in resignation, his radio demon persona slipping itself back on momentarily. "It's as you said earlier, my dear. Mind of its own, and all that." He stated matter of factly. his normal smile now seated distinctly on his face.
Vox's expression softened a bit, he couldn't help but notice the slight shift in his tone, but he pushed past it.
"That's true... But it's just... I didn't think you'd not be... aroused, while we do this. Are you not enjoying this, Al?"
His voice was still soft and quiet, but his tone held the hint of disappointment from earlier, coupled with concern.
"I don't understand why this is such a topic of contention. You're hard, I'm not, we're having sex, What more is there?" Alastor seemed to be growing genuinely frustrated now. "If you want to do this, let's do it" ('And get it over with' were the unspoken words that hung heavy in the air.)
Vox's expression shifted to a mixture of surprise and concern at Alastor's reaction. He hadn't expected this amount of frustration from him.
"Hey, hey, Al, slow down for a moment. I just... I'm just confused, and a little worried. I just want to make sure you're enjoying this as much as I am. Is it me? Is there something that's holding you back? Are you not-"
Alastor cut him off by sitting up and pressing a dizzying kiss to his screen. When they finally tore apart, there was a string of saliva still connecting their mouths. Alastor looked into the dizzied eyes of Vox, before softly saying, "There. Now can we get on with this?"
"W-woah..." Vox muttered under his breath, before looking back up at Alastor. He swallowed down a lump that had slowly formed in his throat, and before he could stop himself, he gave a nod, his voice now a bit more hoarse than before.
"A-Alright.. alright.. we can carry on.."
"Good." Alastor leaned back against the pillows. "Now what shall I do?"
Vox took a moment to think, his mind still reeling from the kiss he had just received. But instead of dwelling on it for too long, he shifted a bit closer, a smirk beginning to form on his face again.
"How about first you lay down, and let me take care of the rest? I think I know a wonderful way to help you... relax"
He purred, his voice dropping into a more sultry tone once again.
Alastor swallowed a lump that had grown in his throat before complying.
Vox let out a small, satisfied hum, his smirk growing as he watched Alastor lay back down. He adjusted his position on the bed, straddling him again, but now he was sitting up a bit more.
"That's a good boy.. now, don't look so tense, hun... just lay back, and relax for me.."
He purred, his hand slowly moving from its spot at Alastor's side and to the waistband of his boxers, grabbing the elastic and slowly tugging them down.
Alastors whole body tensed when Vox grabbed his underwear. His hands flew down to cover himself, that feeling of exposure returning tenfold.
Vox frowned at the sudden movement, and gently grabbed Alastor's wrists, preventing him from covering himself up any further.
"No, no. No covering up. I told you to relax. Just lay back, and let me take care of you, alright?"
He spoke gently, trying to keep his tone soft and reassuring, his hands still gently holding onto his wrists.
Ah, yes, because it was notoriously easy to relax just because someone told you to. Thank you so much for the tip. Alastor took in a deep breath, hesitating before apprehensively nodding.
Vox's expression softened when he saw tears pricking at the corners of Alastor's eyes. He released his wrists, his hands gently moving down his arms in a soothing, calming motion.
"Shh, it's alright, Alastor. Relax... everything's alright."
He spoke in a low, comforting voice.
"I'm just going to take these off..."
Vox’s hands then went to his boxers once again. He gently began to pull them down, carefully monitoring Alastor's expression the entire time. He watched as his whole body tensed once again, face scrunching as he allowed him to pull his boxers off.
Vox paused for a moment once he had removed Alastor's boxers, taking a moment to look down at him, his gaze lingering on his now-exposed body.
"God, you’re so gorgeous like this..."
He spoke in a hushed tone, his voice holding a hint of awe towards the sight before him. He quickly snapped himself out of it, and looked back up at Alastor, now moving to gently caress his hips, his fingertips gently running along his bare skin.
Alastor swallowed hard as he felt Vox's hands run over his haunches. This was how this was supposed to go. Foreplay and all that… right?
Vox could hear Alastor's gulp and took notice, watching his expression as he slowly caressed his skin. He began to slowly lean down, gently laying his body over Alastor's. He paused, his face now at the side of Alastor's, lips gently by his ear.
"You're so gorgeous, Al..."
He whispered into his ear, before placing light kisses along his neck.
Alastor’s muscles tightened more at the attention Vox paid to his neck. His eyes shot open however when he felt Vox's hands inch dangerously closer to his flaccid member.
A smirk slowly spread across Vox’s face at the realization.
"Sensitive, are we?"
He teased quietly, his hand now slowly inching closer and closer to Alastor's dick.
Alastors breathing quickened, sweat glistening off every inch of his body in the moonlight coming through Vox's balcony. He turned his head towards the balcony adjacent to the bed. Would Alastor die if he jumped off? Unlikely, he could always aim for the swimming pool beneath him, or catch himself in his tentacles-
His train of thought was quickly snapped off when he felt Vox lick up his neck at the same moment he was no more than an inch away from his length.
Vox slowly licked a teasing streak up one side of Alastor's neck, his hand still inching its way closer and closer. He took notice of how Alastor's breathing started to quicken and he could see the gleam of sweat on his skin.
"Shhh, relax, hun.. just relax.." He softly whispered into his ear once more, now just millimeters away from Alastor's cock.
Alastors eyes were once again torn open as Vox's hand grazed him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. this isn’t right, he wasn't enjoying this. He’d been under the assumption that both parties involved in sex were supposed to be overwhelmed with pleasure. That was like, the whole point.
Vox chuckled softly, his hands now slowly wrapping themselves around Alastor's member, his palm gently cupping around the sensitive skin. His hand was gentle, yet firmly grasping on his length, and he slowly began to move his hand in a slow, gentle stroking motion.
"You're being such a good, obedient deer for me, aren't you?"
He whispered into his ear, voice low and raspy, gently nipping Alastor’s earlobe in the process.
"a-AH! STOP!" Alastor snapped up, pushing Vox off him, frantically pulling his underwear on and wrapping his open shirt around his torso, his ears bolted down to his head.
Vox stumbled back, landing on his ass off the side of the bed, his expression one of surprise and confusion. He sat there momentarily just looking at Alastor, who was still trying to cover himself with his shirt.
"Al.. what- what are you... what's wrong? I- I thought you were enjoying-"
Alastor pulled his knees up to his chest, holding himself there. This is not how this was supposed to go.
Vox slowly sat back up on the bed, watching as Alastor just sat there, holding himself. He was still so confused, and more than that, he was worried. He cautiously approached him, stopping to sit in front of him.
"Hey, whoa, Al. What's wrong? What happened? Did I do something? Talk to me..."
Alastor made a conscious effort to look away from Vox. Fuck. He had to tell him the truth. He owed him that much.
"I can't... I can't do this."
Vox felt a pang in his chest upon hearing Alastor's words, and for a moment was speechless, just sitting in front of him. He suddenly reached out and gently took ahold of Alastor's chin, gently forcing him to look at him.
"Why? Why can't you do this... I thought you were enjoying it... I- I don't understand-"
Alastor scrunched the bridge of his nose, his face coming as close to a scowl as it could. Vox let go, but Alastor stayed where he was, his withering glare drilling into Vox's eyes.
"I. Can't. Do. This."
Vox's confusion was slowly turning to irritation, but more than that, he was hurt. "Why. Can't. You. Tell me why?!" He spat back, his voice now firm and demanding.
Alastor said nothing, his eyes narrowing. Fuck, this is the exact thing he was trying to avoid. Vox had been so kind to him, repeatedly asking him if he was okay, or if he needed a break, or if he actually wanted to go through with it. But alastor had insisted like a stubborn mule. Or, perhaps ass was the better descriptor, seeing as he certainly felt like one at the moment. He didn't know where this anger had come from, or why he was overreacting so much, all he knew was that he had to regain the upper hand. He’d had far too much vulnerability for one night.
Vox growled to himself, the silence from Alastor just making him even more irritated. He suddenly reached out and grabbed Alastor's wrist, grip tight.
"Say something! Damnit Al, talk to me! Tell me why!"
Alastor was caught immediately off guard being grabbed, his reflexes kicking in as he tore his wrist out of the other's grasp.
"Fuck you."
Vox couldn't help the hurt that crossed his face at those words, but still, he wouldn't give in. He was determined to find out what was going on.
"No, hell no. You aren't the one who gets to say 'bullshit' right now. You were enjoying it!"
"Clearly, I wasn't," Alastor seethed, "perhaps your mind was too clouded by your own lust to notice."
"Lust?! Lust?!"
Vox let out a bitter laugh, almost sounding like a scoff at Alastor's statement.
"I wasn't clouded by my lust! I was just trying to do something nice for you and you liked it!"
Vox's expression hardened as the next words left his mouth.
"Or is it me you don't like? Is it me that repels you? Am I just not good enough for you? Not enough for you? Answer me!"
"Oh, just shut up, would you? Cease your infernal fucking yammering for one minute."
Vox was taken aback for a moment before retaliating, now even more enraged.
"I will not ‘shut up.’ Damnit Al, I want to understand. I want to know! Why are you acting like this?"
Alastor remained silent. The whole reason he’d entertained the notion of a relationship was so Vox wouldn't end up heartbroken, and their relationship wouldn't end up fractured beyond repair. And yet, here they were now.
Vox sat there in the silence, his eyes now staring intently at Alastor, silently pleading with him.
At Alastor's continued expressionless silence, vox felt as if his heart was slowly breaking into pieces in his chest.
"Please, don't go, Al... Please, just... just stay with me. I won't make the same mistake again, just please don't leave..."
His voice was now quiet, a slight desperation filling his tone as he gently reached out for Alastor's wrist again, wrapping his fingers around it, but his grip was much looser this time.
Alastor spoke up. "It's a cliche, I know, but-" he took a deep breath in. "it's not you."
Vox slowly let go of his wrist and sat back on his knees before the realization hit.
"Wait... No… you're not-"
His eyes widened slightly, and he suddenly scrambled forward, once again grabbing ahold of Alastor's wrists with both hands.
"No, god damn it, please... don't-"
“Vox,” Alastor said softly. “Hear me. I can’t do this. What we have is no longer practical.” He sighed softly as he watched his former partner's face drop lower. “I am truly sorry.”
Vox froze where he sat, his grip on Alastor's wrists still firm, but now just to steady himself. He let out a shaky exhale, the one sentence that Alastor gave him playing over and over in his head, drowning out any other sound but the beating of his own heart, thudding away in his ears.
"You... you’re done with us… because it’s impractical?" he asked, not expecting an answer. His voice was quiet, but there was an edge to it, laced with pain and hurt.
“I am so very sorry Vox,” Alastor muttered as he stood from the bed and began to walk away, picking up his clothes. He hadn't gone far when he heard a soft chucking coming from the bed.
"You're such a fucking tease..." Muttered a voice behind him.
"Excuse me?" Alastor whipped his head around.
Vox was standing now, having moved from the bed. His eyes were transfixed on Alastor.
"You heard me, Dollboy, you're a tease."
There was a bitter tone to his voice. At this point, he was trying to fight back tears, but with every passing second, it was becoming harder and harder to hold them back.
Alastor’s eyes narrowed. "How dare you-"
"NO. " Vox interrupted. "JUST, SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS, LET ME SPEAK. FUCK.” His voice cracked mid-sentence. “You are a goddamn tease. You're always like this. You acted as if you loved me. As if you truly did want to be with me… And now- This!..."
Vox gesticulated vaguely with one of his hands, trying to find the right words.
"This bullshit happens. Was this all just a fucking game to you? I care. I care so much, and you know that. And all you've done is try to take advantage of that. Of me.” He was panting now.
"...'' Alastor gave a pause. "You know that’s not true."
Vox gave a bitter scoff at Alastor's words.
"Tell me then, Al, what's the truth? Because to me, it sure as hell looks like you're just playing with my feelings. So if I’m wrong, then please, enlighten me."
"I wasn't-" Alastor cut himself off, letting out a frustrated sigh, "that wasn't my intention.."
"Bullshit." Vox snipped back before suddenly laughing, the sound was bitter and spiteful.
"So you're saying, you didn't intend to string me along and get me all riled up before suddenly dropping me? That wasn't your intention? Then what the hell was your intention?"
Alastor turned around once again, facing the door as he pulled his pants back on.
Vox stayed standing where he was, his expression bitter and frustrated. "So that's it, huh? You're just going to get dressed, walk out that door, and act like nothing ever happened"
"I think that would be in both of our best interests," Alastor said as he buttoned up his shirt.
"Our best interests? What do you mean by "Our best interests"? Is this what's "best for me"? Well, how about you let me decide what's best for me, ’cause I can tell you right now Al, this isn't it.” He felt sick inside, seeing how Alastor was just getting dressed like it didn't even matter to him.
"And what, pray tell, would be best for you, Vox? continuing our previous engagement? forcing yourself upon me for your own sadistic pleasure?" Alastor spat.
"That's not-!"
Vox cut himself off, taking a moment to think about alastors words and their painful accuracy. He would have never done such a thing on purpose, certainly not to alastor of all people, but if he couldn't even tell he was making him uncomfortable at that moment then… he didn't want to think about what he would've done next. "That's not.... that's not what I wanted. I wasn’t trying to ‘force myself’ on you, I... I just...."
"No, but if we'd continued, then you would've been. Is that truly what you desire?"
"No!"
Vox snapped back almost immediately. He didn't want to have to force himself on anyone, he didn't want to hurt Alastor. He just wanted... he just wanted to be close to him, be with him... but here they were.
"God damn it, Alastor, I- I didn't want… I never wanted-"
“Then let me go.” Alastor took his jacket off the rack beside the door.
Vox suddenly stepped forward, once again reaching out for Alastor, desperately grabbing a hold of his wrist again, his breath coming quickly and raggedly. He couldn’t let Alastor leave, he wouldn’t. He couldn't let him walk out that door and leave like it was nothing.
"Don't leave me… Please." He begged.
Alastor’s ever-present staticky aura intensified. “I’ll only ask once more. Let me go.”
"No!"
Vox’s grip on Alastor’s wrist tightened, refusing to let him go, refusing to let him walk out of his life.
“I- I can’t… I can’t let you go. Please.. please don’t leave me…”
Vox’s dampened eyes widened as he saw the large tentacles forming from Alastor’s back. He didn't tend to use his tentacles very often, and it was always a sight to behold when he did, but Vox never expected them to be used against him. Seeing the tendrils wrapping around his wrist was enough to make him loosen his grip, and he let go of Alastor’s wrist, but he wouldn’t give up.
“…Please don’t… please…”
His voice was now more broken and desperate than before, as he made one final plea, begging Alastor to stay.
The radio demon repeated himself for a final time.
"I can't do this. I'm sorry."
that was the last warning given before Alastor slipped into his shadows and melted into the floor, disappearing from the room.
“No… no, wait…!”
Vox stepped forward as he saw Alastor disappear into the shadows, but it was too late. He stood still for a moment, staring at the spot where Alastor had been, before his knees gave out, and he was left there on the floor, silently trying to process everything that was running through his mind.
By the end of the night, vox was left with only one thought. A thought that played itself over and over in his mind.
“That fucker’d better stay gone.”